GAME: Crush A Wish

[Shorticus]

Granted. You are a fish.

I wish for... corn?

[AlteredTundra]

Granted. However, it's burnt more than a person with first-degree burns.

I wish for a swing.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted. A Pro Wrestler is swinging his fist right into your face. Nighty Night.

I Wish... #$@^$&%@^!$&... Shiny_Keldeo.exe has stopped responding, please reboot.

[Shorticus]

Granted. You are booted in the ass.

I wish for the power of perpetually fortuitous circumstances!

[Vesuvius00]

granted. everyone around you has great luck, while it seems you've got all the bad luck in the world

I wish to be the president of the US instead of hillary or trump, and I will not die while in office and people will actually like my policies because I actually do what the people want.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted. Unfortunately, you will be physically unable to do most of the things you promise due to the wonderful US Congress, which is too busy squabbling to actually come to any kind of decision. And if you use Executive Orders for it all it will be caught up in controversy, Supreme Court Decisions due to questioning the constitutionality of the use of the order, and many other roadblocks that will prevent you actions from doing the good you wish to do. Congrats, you are the official figurehead of the absolutely perfect United States of America!

I Wish M. Night Shamalan that "The Last Airbender" and "Dragonball Evolution" never existed in. The Exact Quoted Movie Forms at least.

[AlteredTundra]

Granted. However, M. Night suddenly gets the urge to team up with Michael Bay to direct the rumored Pokemon Live-Action film.

I wish for a new computer.

[Duthguy]

Granted, unfortunately it's new for 1965 standards.

I wish that healthfood tasted like junkfood and vice versa

[Vesuvius00]

granted, all types of food now taste like sour warheads candy.

I wish I knew how to Adult and not have everything Life throws at me piling up until I'm buried in useless knowledge and problems I don't know how to deal with.

[rush99999]

Granted. You now know how to Adult...To bad it's the only thing you know how to do now though.

I wish everyone does what ever I say provided I add the words 'would you kindly' onto the beginning of the command.

[Vesuvius00]

granted, but the full phrase you need to say is "Would you kindly post an embarrassing picture of me on social media and then..." and they will do everything you told them to. Everything.

I wish I could understand any language perfectly when I hear it being spoken, like my mind automatically translates the words so I know what is being said.

[Duthguy]

Granted, but in exchange you permanently lose the ability to read, write or type.

I wish that July 12th would be an international holiday

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. July 12 is now world Dependence day, as that is the anniversary of the arrival of our alien dictators saviors. They fixxed every problem we could think of by simply eradicating our free will adopting us into their society!
Hail the Gerblov!

I wish to be able to teach anyone anything, even that which I don't understand or know Myself.

[Majoraa]

Wish granted...

BUT! Your not allowed to teach life/moral lessons as they need to learn themselfs...

I wish for am urban legend to come true (this should be interesting.)

[Orlan]

Accepted, you have become Will Smith from I Am Legend, at least that's what I read from your wish...

I wish for this wish to not be granted. (Try and get around this!)

[Majoraa]

Wish granted...

BUT! Because you wished for a wish not to be granted, some rift in space and time opened and bernie sanders became president.

I wish for...a bucket of blood (fake or not)

[Duthguy]

Granted, the blood gets poured all over you and afterwards the bucket hits you on the head.

I wish to be able to count to 398405820384302893409

[Orlan]

Aye that can be granted, for the price of the fact that you lose the ability to reason and speak any language apart from the a non-existent version of Venezuelan! Don't know why but I've got my mind fixated on that place as somewhere strange.

I wish to become absolute dictator of everything known and unknown.

[Majoraa]

Wish granted,but you caused and alien rebelion for being a tyrant and racist to them 234 years into the future.

I wish for a knife. Enough said.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. One plastic knife, coming right up!

I wish to... have a bad time?