GAME: Crush A Wish

[Mardox]

Granted, but someday you get a nasty infection that could only be stopped by amputation.
I wish to have good luck.

[fer1323]

Granted but you will be forgotten by everyone even you.

I wish I could find a companion for life.

[Rusalka]

Granted. You are now surgically attached to a smelly, half dead goat that vomits everywhere.

I wish somebody would replace the national anthem with Cirice by Ghost.

[ClocktowerEchos]

Granted but the nation has been bombed into ashes and whats left fights and kills itself in a savage wasteland for survival.

I wish I could be a dank memelordz.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but the only meme you're in is one that compares you to ugly/masturbating chimps.

I wish I was better at writing speeches.

[Rusalka]

Granted, but now you are forced to write speeches for President Donald Trump, eventually gaining him enough popularity to become supreme chancellor of the United Aryan Nation of America and invoke a second holocaust on all blacks, Muslims, and Mexicans. Happy speech writing.

I wish I wish I was a fish!

[Shorticus]

Granted, but you're immediately caught by a fisherman. He doesn't even kill you; he shoves you into an aquarium by yourself, and the worst part is you're a koi fish and so spend the next few hundred years watching yourself waste away in loneliness as the centuries go by, trapped forever, your only company the fat hands of generations of Cheetos-loving buckaroos feeding you the worst tasting fish food ever.

I wish I had true happiness.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted but you never feel anything but happiness. Later in life, your wife's father dies, when she tells you, you are unable to express anything but happiness. The next day, she kills herself, leaving you without any family or friends.

I wish to end World Hunger.

[ClocktowerEchos]

Granted but the human population is force to eat itself to feed everyone.

I wish the next person wishes for something.

[RomanAria]

Granted, but the paradox you just created destroys the known universe.

I wish school wasn't so boring.

[darkwolf687]

Granted, but it has been granted through the removal of all subjects that could possibly be considered 'boring' from the curriculum. Naturally, this results in there being no subjects in the school curriculum whatsoever and within several generations humanity is ignorant of the written word. Thus the knowledge of mankind is lost and you die of a preventable disease as nobody understands medicine.

I wish that I was an omnipotent and omniscient being (and would subsequently become the only such being in existence), thereby capable of negating any negative consequences of this wish.

[Shorticus]

Granted, but then you wake up and realize it was all just a dream, and now you return to the drudgery of daily life. Or, rather, the end of it. You're going to the electric chair.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner!

[ClocktowerEchos]

Granted. You are know being force through a sausage press and are being turned into ground meet and shoved into a sleeve made of your own skin before being grilled or cooked with obscene amounts of ketchup.

I wish I could wish for something that I wished for most wishingly so I would wishingly wish about my wish.

[Duthguy]

Granted but the wish you make doesn't come true.

I wish for a cool prosthetic for whatever limb I lose thanks to Mardox's infection

[Rusalka]

Granted, you now have a brand new, state of the art cyber prosthetic arm that doubles your human strength. Unfortunately there was a glitch in programming it, so the arm ends up becoming self aware and chokes you to death.

I wish I didn't decide to eat cold pizza for breakfast.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but you eat 20 bushels of apples, missing your entire day, gaining immense weight and dying of cyanide poisoning the next morning.

I wish I wasn't a lonely nerd stuck on this site to eliminate my boredom.

[Shorticus]

Granted: you are now a lonely cucumber stuck on this site to eliminate your boredom.

I wish I understood the greater purpose of what it is to be human, both that of the individual and that of humanity as a whole.

[Mardox]

Granted, you understand that there is no purpose and it drives you mad.

I wish to be amused by the twisting of this wish.

[Shorticus]

Granted. However, while you are able to be amused by the twisting of wishes, including that one, you don't derive amusement from anything else. Only the folly of people trying to outwit jerkwad genies can bring you happiness.

I wish people could just get along.

[Rusalka]

Granted, you now live in a totalitarian society where everything from books, to movies, to even showing human emotions is forbidden and punishable by death.

I wish I had a huge...ego.