GAME: Crush A Wish

[Lucian]

Granted, but you have to join them.

I wish for less hostility up in this bitch

[Lady Selune]

Granted. The only person they're hostile to is you.

I wish for an incorruptible wish

[Darth Squidius]

Granted. However, it's my wish and I wish for a hovercar.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. Circumstances beyond your control result in Lady Selune buying a new car and repeatedly ramming into your own hovercar until it is utterly destroyed. Nothing was wrong with the hovercar whatsoever, it was a simple matter of bad luck and a burning desire for revenge.

I wish for an 80 ton version of the Thor omnimech that can carry 2 ERPPC's, 2 (chargeless) Gauss Rifles and pre-nerf jump jets.

[Elgappa]

Granted! But as soon as you take sit in it, you realize the consequences such a weapon has on human behavior! Taking in the whole futility of conflict, you defy the tradition of conflict theory, and accept that neither human interactions nor social change are based on it. Becoming a pacifist at once, you see the Thor omnimech that can carry 2 ERPPC's, 2 (chargeless) Gauss Rifles and pre-nerf jump jets as a symbol of your old life, and an outdated stance in sociology, making you deeply depressed when you lay eyes on it!

I wish for an pound of cocaine, a pimp-mobile and thirty Hookers!

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. You're in America, the NSA is reading this forum, and they see the word "granted". They immediately trace you to your location and arrest you, sentencing you for 30 years. Is that all? Nope. You're framed for mass murder and now have 30 life sentences. Enjoy.

I wish for this post to be moved to page 52 and never move back.

[Witch Cat]

Granted but page 52 doesn't exist yet

I wish to wash my Irish wrist watch

[fer1323]

Granted but you wash it with acid and it dissolves into nothing.

I wish a new timesplitters can be released on ps4.

[InfiniteEmbers]

Granted, however TimeSplitters on PS4 became what everybody hoped it wouldn't be, losing most aspects of original style. On the other hand, the game's developers release a series of expensive add-on content such as characters, weapons and maps for you to waste your money on.

I wish I could have a stronger sense of patience.

[Witch Cat]

Granted, but you gotta be patient before you can get it

I wish for art

[Protoman]

Granted. I spin around and slop paint on a canvas and call it art. That'll be $50,000.

I wish I had my own personal miniature cannon.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted, it backfires. And you're kinda right behind it. Oh well.

I wish for the stravags to kneel and become my bondsman. (It's not as bad as it sounds >.<)

[DepressedSoviet]

Granted, but because I have no idea what a 'stravag' is, you get half a banana instead.

I wish my time-transversing research computer could install and run programs from the future, instead of only being able to browse the internet.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted, the program is a 31st century virus. It's too sophisticated for your time machine, so your entire system blows up and the whole thing is sent into the endless void.

I wish the above poster will get an idea of what Battletech is.

[DepressedSoviet]

Granted, but because I already know what Battletech is(just not too familiar beyond the very basic lore), you just wasted a wish, congrats.

I wish for fish!

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. Something was fishy about it and you die when it explodes in a cloud of green toxic goo.

I wish to go east. Always to the east...

[Witch Cat]

Granted, now you venture into space and suffocate

Do me a favour and kill this thread

[Arkaquiavel]

Granted, but it turns out while the thread is now dead, it's actually still alive aswell, becoming an example of Schrodinger's Cat-like mechanics, due to quantum superposition caused during the granting of the wish.

I wish for a bottle of imported, high quality holy water.

[DepressedSoviet]

Granted, but its Holy to a church that you don't follow, making it useless to you.

I wish for the essence of creation.

[Arkaquiavel]

Granted, but the essence of creation is only available as a Big Bang. You better just hope you somehow reappear into existence in this new universe about to be born...

I wish for an elixir of immortality!