GAME: Crush A Wish

[Kalleth]

Your duck has eaten you. Congratulations.

I wish for the god of gods, ODIN, to take me into Valhalla as one of his sacred EINHERJI. I wish to FIGHT when RAGNAROK comes to claim the NINE WORLDS OF YGGDRASIL!

[Ryuzaki]

Granted but the genie thinks Norse mythology is the same as Skyrim, so you are now an argonian slave in Windhelm

I wish I had a Lusty Argonian Maid

[TheUnknowable]

@RyuzakiGranted, but your spear chafes badly because she polished it too much.

I wish for 10000 gold pieces.

[Bishop]

@TheUnknowable Granted but the pieces are actually golden dust particles which you won't even see to witness the wind blowing them away.
I wish to have 1000 more wishes.

[Enarr]

Granted, but you squander each and every one of them.

I wish that Miles Morales hadn't taken Peter Parker's place as the Ultimate Spider-Man.

[RinOkumara]

yeah, that is a really good wish so I'm not gonna' crush that wish

neigh

[IntPenDespSword]

Your horse kicks you in the gut, and you die from internal bleeding.

I wish for the average IQ of the next generation to be over 150, without decreasing or increasing population size by more than 20 %.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but their IQ leads them to drive every other species to extinction for science.

I wish that I was both the strongest and smartest man alive, without increasing or decreasing the size of my body at all.

[Kalleth]

Granted but you die pretty much the first time you try to use your newfound strength, because the physics of what you are trying to accomplish breaks your body. And if your newfound intelligence keeps you from overexerting, then you die because that intelligence makes you over-confident and an embarrassing accident ends your life, Final-Destination-Style.

I wish for scientists to discover how to do cold fusion, solving the energy crisis.

[stardust]

Granted; scientists perfect a means of extracting energy from the zero-point field using null-energy. However, as an accidental side effect, a black hole eats the solar system. Omnomnom.

I wish for an axe to grind.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. Out of nowhere, an axe appears lodged in your head.

I wish for cool sunglasses at a useful weight and durability to appear in front of me, though not so that they cause tissue displacement.

[TheUnknowable]

Granted, though "cool" is a relative term, so the genie made them out of a Bose-Einstein Condensate at about 0.1k.

I wish for a nice turkey sandwich.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, you receive a sandwitch with the country of Turkey in it

I wish to be the dictator of a well known country and remain as such until I die of old age.

[RinOkumara]

ok you are hitler but... he's dead so... yeah

cluck

[IntPenDespSword]

Your chicked pecks you in the eye, and barely lays eggs at all. It is also infertile and disobedient.

I wish for people in this thread to make actual wishes, instead of animal noises.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted but animal noises becomes the official primary language in the USA

I wish actual wishes were easier to come up with.

[TheUnknowable]

ok you are hitler but... he's dead so... yeah

cluck

@RinOkumara

but didn't he die of poison or a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head, not old age?
(thinking of the twilight zone episode)

[Ryuzaki]

<Snipped quote by RinOkumara>

but didn't he die of poison or a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head, not old age?
(thinking of the twilight zone episode)

@TheUnknowable

Granted, the poster corrects their error.

I wish people wouldnt say something and not contribute to the thread afterward.

[TheUnknowable]

@Ryuzakigranted, the thread dies.

I wish it didn't.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but... Your next RP dies instead.

I wish for the edgiest post ever.