GAME: Crush A Wish

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted, but suddenly, you are vegetarian.
^{Foster is also a ninja}

You write a book, yes, and then retire. Immediately after, a horde of unsatisfied people demand their money back, leaving you penniless.

I wish for Foster to reply to this.

[luna558]

Granted! but a scientist saw it and wondered why you were so instead of reading the book he kidnapped you and is doing tests as we speak
granted but it turns out to be a future foster parent named luna

I wish I had wing tattoos.

[CollectorOfMyst]

(Okay, not making a wish here, but Luna ninja'd Foster, Foster ninja'd me, and now I've ninja'd Luna. NINJAS UNITE!)

[luna558]

THE CYCLE HAS BEEN BROKEN YOU RE THE REASON A BOX FELL ON MY HEAD

[Foster]

Granted! but a scientist saw it and wondered why you were so instead of reading the book he kidnapped you and is doing tests as we speak

@luna558

He?

Granted, but suddenly, you are vegetarian.
^{Foster is also a ninja}

You write a book, yes, and then retire. Immediately after, a horde of unsatisfied people demand their money back, leaving you penniless.

I wish for Foster to reply to this.

@CollectorOfMyst

Of course I'm a ninja. also, granted, this is my late reply after all the conservation of ninjitsu takes effect.

granted but it turns out to be a future foster parent named luna

Reaaaaaaallly starting to think you're planning on kidnapping me...

Oh right, wing tats... Granted, but they're real wings... from a rub-on tattoo... you fly too close to the sun and...
(I'm going to have a TON of notifications when I wake up.... I just know it)

Right, staying on topic... the sun scorches them on permenently... as a sunburn... also, you now have skin cancer.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Icaaaaaaruuuuuus!!!! (Also, you didn't wish)

I wish my internet ninjitsu translated into real life.

[Foster]

Granted, but you are never seen again.

I would wish to lead the serach party.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Aww... But I can't be seen again... so sorry, but no.

I wish that I became a ninja-superhero-and-or-villain.

[luna558]

granted but you are bad at your job and become an alcoholic and noone wants to fight you

I WISH BOXES WOULDNT FALL ON MY HEAD

[CollectorOfMyst]

GRANTED. THEY FALL ON YOUR NECK INSTEAD. (Also... I'm never gonna drink, or at least not for another 12 months. I'm 17, and legal age is 18 in the UK.)

I wish I could wish.

[luna558]

Granted, but the opposite comes true

I wish to be a deer, whatever the consequences

[CollectorOfMyst]

Bambi. You're Bambi's Mom.

If I cannot wish to wish, then I wish to dream of a wish.

[luna558]

Granted but the wish is my last wish which means you are Bambi's mom

I wish to have x-ray vision to kill my enemies

[Witch Cat]

Granted, but the x-rays you're emitting gave you cancer

I wish for online callout culture to be abolished

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, said culture is abolished by killing everyone doing it IRL.

I wish that everyone could play the piano professionally.

[Gin]

@IntPenDespSword Granted but all the pianos in the multiverse has gone numb.

I wish that I could become a early morning person.

[luna558]

granted but you can only be awake during the hours of 1 am and 6 am

I wish my air conditioning was fixed

[Darth Squidius]

Granted! A professional air conditioner unit repair man appears in a poof of smoke. After a quick, transactional conversation he takes your conditioner off to his workshop. However, he isn't a particularly fast worker. It will be finished some time in the coming century.

I wish for a snickers.

[luna558]

granted but you still aren't you after eating it.

I wish for my dad to buy cookie dough

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. After a long day, he comes home a couple million dollars (or the local equivalent) in debt, followed by a few truckloads of cookie dough. Enjoy.

I wish life had a soundtrack that didn't get annoying.