@Doc Doctor
Alright Doc. Here is my long awaited reply.
I see what you are trying to accomplish in your CS. You want to get away from boring romace stories and get into some rated R badass realistic bloodbaths. You want battle and horror and purpose, and fortunately, this is exactly what Compact is for. Relationships are all well and good, and they can happen in Blood Compact, but this rp is also about many things. Good and evil, survival, morality, judgement, depth of character, finding purpose, meaning, family, struggle, friends, finding yourself, learning what dedication to a cause truly is, and of course fun fight scenes.
I need you to go deeper than simply providing a single, meaningless fight, a single, uncomplicated enemy. Your monster is a mere shadow of the kind of creature I'm expecting in this rp. It doesn't even have enough hutzpsa behind it to rise above the level of an npc. It's not a character. It's a monster, a thing, with no personhood behind it. None of our current characters have any reason to interact with it, and if they did, they would do nothing but kill it, which is dull. Writing about killing a monster is not worth the effort spent in moving our fingers over the keyboard. We'd rather do something else. It's not fun for players. It has nothing to do with the setting/story.
Secondly, it would be difficult to even have this type of creature exist in the Compact world. This rp exists in a modern/scifi world, so think tracking darts with gps, high tech weapons, advanced research and science. Any 'dragon' would be killed pretty fast. Also, any elder vampire who hasn't spent the last eons in a tomb would know any major world history and anything about other elder vampires, etc. I don't beleive that any of them would have allowed such a creature to live freely in their territory, so I'm sure one of them would have killed it before the modern age even arrived. The Magna Pater would be a great boss for a horror/myster/suspense rp, but it really is pretty useless in comparison to what Blood Compact has going on.
I think what you should do, would be to create a vampire who does a lot of similar, evil shit, but make him/her 'real.' You can make them as ugly and terrifying as you want, but make them more than just an animal, more than just a rodent to be shot down. Give them an interesting reason for their beliefs or their insanity. Does he or she think killing is a sport? are they a sadist? Maybe you can make up a lineage of vampires from ancient Egypt or Mexican Aztecs or someplace as an origin, or maybe he or she was the only one. Maybe they were friends with Magnus... but either way, the character must be a flesh and bone being that has to look out for their own ass, like anyone else. You could try giving them a power that makes them hard to catch or kill. Soldier would of course be hunting them.
To tie them into the story, add some kind of history with one of the current characters, a dependencey, or a vendetta. Did Soldier kill one of your character's best friends? Ruin his meaning in life? Think of something deep that causes conflict. You want a reason to fight and not just for food. If you want to open with a violent murder scene, do it, just know that your character's actions will have consequences.
You can draw from your original concept if you want, but post a new CS. You can ask any questions about the world in the OC tab, and Grey or I will answer them.
Alright Doc. Here is my long awaited reply.
I see what you are trying to accomplish in your CS. You want to get away from boring romace stories and get into some rated R badass realistic bloodbaths. You want battle and horror and purpose, and fortunately, this is exactly what Compact is for. Relationships are all well and good, and they can happen in Blood Compact, but this rp is also about many things. Good and evil, survival, morality, judgement, depth of character, finding purpose, meaning, family, struggle, friends, finding yourself, learning what dedication to a cause truly is, and of course fun fight scenes.
I need you to go deeper than simply providing a single, meaningless fight, a single, uncomplicated enemy. Your monster is a mere shadow of the kind of creature I'm expecting in this rp. It doesn't even have enough hutzpsa behind it to rise above the level of an npc. It's not a character. It's a monster, a thing, with no personhood behind it. None of our current characters have any reason to interact with it, and if they did, they would do nothing but kill it, which is dull. Writing about killing a monster is not worth the effort spent in moving our fingers over the keyboard. We'd rather do something else. It's not fun for players. It has nothing to do with the setting/story.
Secondly, it would be difficult to even have this type of creature exist in the Compact world. This rp exists in a modern/scifi world, so think tracking darts with gps, high tech weapons, advanced research and science. Any 'dragon' would be killed pretty fast. Also, any elder vampire who hasn't spent the last eons in a tomb would know any major world history and anything about other elder vampires, etc. I don't beleive that any of them would have allowed such a creature to live freely in their territory, so I'm sure one of them would have killed it before the modern age even arrived. The Magna Pater would be a great boss for a horror/myster/suspense rp, but it really is pretty useless in comparison to what Blood Compact has going on.
I think what you should do, would be to create a vampire who does a lot of similar, evil shit, but make him/her 'real.' You can make them as ugly and terrifying as you want, but make them more than just an animal, more than just a rodent to be shot down. Give them an interesting reason for their beliefs or their insanity. Does he or she think killing is a sport? are they a sadist? Maybe you can make up a lineage of vampires from ancient Egypt or Mexican Aztecs or someplace as an origin, or maybe he or she was the only one. Maybe they were friends with Magnus... but either way, the character must be a flesh and bone being that has to look out for their own ass, like anyone else. You could try giving them a power that makes them hard to catch or kill. Soldier would of course be hunting them.
To tie them into the story, add some kind of history with one of the current characters, a dependencey, or a vendetta. Did Soldier kill one of your character's best friends? Ruin his meaning in life? Think of something deep that causes conflict. You want a reason to fight and not just for food. If you want to open with a violent murder scene, do it, just know that your character's actions will have consequences.
You can draw from your original concept if you want, but post a new CS. You can ask any questions about the world in the OC tab, and Grey or I will answer them.