Uncertainty wasn’t a familiar feeling to Varis and it ate at him from the inside out. He tried to yank his hand off the skull but it wouldn’t move. It chewed its way up his arm and into his stomach where it boiled and bubbled away like acid. He felt simultaneously like vomiting and eating everything in sight and there was no
end. He felt dirty and unwanted and unworthy of everything in his life. He knew he didn’t deserve it. He’d still be home, he’d still have a brother, he’d still be doing what he loved.
Varis snatched his hand back as the scene changed. A statue of Landar Starag dominated the marble room, smoke curling out of the censer in one hand and scroll in the other. Otherwise the room was empty, only a few black slabs contrasting the white marble. The names of Landar Starag and his immediate family were carved into them. A small oak box sat on the bench in the middle of the room, a cloth laid out under it. Inside, two hauntingly familiar blades rested. They were curved and sharp and had a symbol on their hilts that was unfamiliar. A bow with a snake carved along its length rested next to it along with a quiver of arrows.
The sound of rain pounding against the roof nearly covered the cold, empty laughter from the entryway. Aaron leaned against the wall next to the door, arms crossed and Dawn on his hip. He reached up, one hand toying idly with half a gold coin hanging from a chain around his neck, though his glassy black eyes bored into Varis’; an unsettling sight from a mage who usually kept his gaze on the floor.
“Got bored of looking too much like yourself? Wanted to relive the glory days, huh?” Aaron waved at the statue.
“I have to say, it’s entertaining to watch you look down your nose at everyone when you still can’t bear to look in the mirror. Or… maybe a little sad. You’ve only worn this one for a century. Wait, not even that!” Aaron laughed again, the sound bouncing off the walls.
“Though I suppose I can understand. No one stays pretty for long drenched in the blood of the ones they love.”Varis took a step back as if he’d been slapped. The difference between the boy’s normally docile behavior and this thing wearing his image was… jarring, even if half the things spewing out of his mouth were utter gibberish. Yet, he couldn’t help the twist of guilt in his chest at the accusation though Varis couldn’t ever remember loving anyone, much less getting his hands dirty with their blood. Regardless, no mage was going to speak to him like that and get away with it.
“How dare you.” Varis snapped, stepping towards Aaron.
“You watch your tone, you insolent brat. Who exactly do you think you are?” The image of Aaron only laughed again, shoulders quaking as the room filled with the sound. One hand fell lazily onto Dawn’s pommel, but he looked no more tense than before.
“Who am I?” He laughed again, though his gaze remained cold.
“Who are you, to presume to ask? My pedigree may well be longer than yours by now!”Aaron squinted at Varis for a moment.
“Do you even know anymore? Or have you tucked that away too, deep down and calcified over alongside the hunger and the inside of that lovely box?” He tapped his chin for a moment, but shook his head.
“No, no, that can’t be where you hid it. You dredge that up every time your tie’s crooked. Honestly, I do a better job of coping with failure than you do.”“What nonsense are you speaking?” Varis demanded.
“Your lineage only commands respect because you're the lapdogs of the Noilas. If it hadn’t been for them, vampires would have wiped the lot of you out ages ago and what did manage to survive would be nothing but slaves for us to feed on. I don’t presume anything.” He took another step towards Aaron, fists curling into balls. Something inside him felt uneasy, trying to twist and turn and pull away but Varis wasn’t going to let some mage talk down to him,
pedigree be damned.
“I am the heir to the Sinnenodel family and head of the third oldest bloodline of them. If you know what’s good for you boy,” Varis spat as he continued stomping towards Aaron.
“You’ll remember your place before I am forced to remind you myself!”“Please, Master, remind me,” Aaron mocked, spreading his arms and performing a theatrical bow that brought him nearly nose-to-nose with Varis.
“I have often wondered what trick you must have up your sleeve to feel safe grinding this under your heel.” Without warning, a concentrated beam of sunlight shot out from one of Aaron’s palms, slicing Varis’ left ear almost perfectly in half and setting the surrounding hair on fire.
“Look at that!” He exclaimed gleefully, flicking the hair away from his own left ear to reveal his scar.
“Now we match!”Varis had all intentions of cutting off whatever snide remark the boy was going to make but he screamed. His ear burned and he stumbled backwards, eyes wide in horror and fear, and he tripped over the bench, snatching up the cloth from under the box and trying desperately to pat out the fire. His back hit the statue’s foot and he trembled as he stared at Aaron. Varis was terrified, even more than when his Lady sent her summons. She, at the very least, had to keep him alive.
Aaron did not.
“What is wrong with you?” Varis sputtered weakly.
“Attacking a vampire will have consequences, whether I walk out of here or not!” “Oh, but it never does, does it?” Aaron cooed, putting on a face of absolutely false sympathy. His eyes glittered with amusement.
“Not for anyone who matters, anyway. Besides, if you’re going after people just for a little sunlight burn, I should be at the bottom of your list.” He shook his head.
“You know if you blew the whistle on her you could probably escape before she got to you, right? Or… okay, maybe fifty-fifty. But that’s not what you want.” Aaron shrugged, sighing blissfully.
“Far be it from me to judge. I know very well the appeal of soaking up the pain in silence. It shuts up that voice in the back of your head for a little while when you know you’re getting what you deserve.” “That’s… That’s not true.” Varis’ voice was smaller than he cared for but he pushed on anyway.
“I have plans. I know what I’m doing! A century of pain is nothing compared to an eternity of satisfaction!” And while he did sincerely believe that, Varis’ excuses felt flimsy even to his own ears. This terrifying fake was just trying to mess with him, rile him up so he couldn’t figure out the challenge. That was it. It was all a lie!
But the swirling doubt and guilt in his stomach knew the truth in Aaron’s words.
“I’ve done nothing to deserve any of this!” Varis argued.
“I’ve only done what I’ve needed to. My family got what they deserved. Any self respecting vampire would do the same and maybe if you ever grew a backbone, you’d do it too!”“If I grow a backbone, it won't be my mother and siblings under the knife,” Aaron corrected, wagging a finger at Varis like a misbehaving child.
“That you can pretend you don’t face a reckoning is an admirable performance, I'll give you that. But don't kid yourself. The truth is in everything you do. It's not the scars that keep you away from the mirror; you're afraid if you look you'll see the ones you betrayed, see the shock on Ramelvik’s face and that look in Yvaine’s eyes. You're scared that if you utter a kind word it’ll end in a shower of blood and screaming, just like it always does. So you slap them all away. Stars only know you couldn't do much more than that.”Aaron chuckled coldly, but when he looked back, all pretense of humour was gone, leaving only a piercing, vicious glare behind.
“You know the truth. Your skin fits you like a cheap suit and you wish you could be free of it; but it's unbecoming to hate yourself, so, like everything else, you make others do it for you.”Varis could only gape as Aaron’s words stirred something
awful inside him. He couldn’t stop the tears if he tried and the sobs wracked his body as he tried to push himself further away and shut everything out. He had no idea why it hurt so much. He had no idea who Yvaine even was. He didn’t even like that filthy Marivaldi! Varis hadn’t even done much work! The Lord was already forgetting meals; Varis just gave him a tiny
push. There was absolutely no explanation for why he felt like screaming and crying and shutting down all at the same time, there was no explanation for this bone-deep sorrow he felt, no explanation for the tears and the pain.
Varis' frustration rose as he struggled with emotions he couldn’t call his own. It rose in equal measure to everything else and he glared at Aaron through the blood running from his solid black eyes. Varis was cornered; escape was clearly not an option and Varis needed an outlet for everything churning inside him. He was an animal pushed back onto a corner so he fell back on his favored coping mechanism.
“Of course it won’t be your family under the blade.” Venom dripped from his words as he spat them through the tears.
“It’ll be Ryner and the Queen and Nox because they’re the ones who threw you away like the garbage you are. I know Ryner coddles you and professes her care for you but it’s a lie. You’re a pathetic excuse for Starag. Could you imagine how Landar would feel if he could see you right now? He’d probably ask to execute you himself.”Aaron was quiet for a moment, pensive, before shaking his head.
“Am I meant to be shocked? None of that is exactly news to me,” he replied, a bit of melancholy sneaking into his formerly sharp tone.
“They’ve made all that very clear, as have you. Why repeat yourself? It's not like you to waste your energy.” “Because it works and you aren’t worth the energy to think of something new. If the old way works, why bother changing it?” Varis snapped. He much preferred the boy this way than before. Apparently, he was still little Aaron on the inside. The magic just gave him a bit of confidence and that made Varis feel much better. Tearing people down was something that made him feel better and he had quite a bit to unload on this clone.
“Do you know what I first thought when I opened that letter? Right before I made you kneel in front of the entire student body and those pet bodyguards of Ryner’s? I saw your name and thought to myself, “Oh that’s the game.” Ryner herself specifically planned this for you, boy. Planned to watch you break and bend just to see how far you’ll snap.” Varis struggled to his feet, one hand still clapped over his ear and the other holding onto Landar for support. The tears were still flowing freely but at least the trembling had stopped.
“You know, I asked her when she first came to me about this why you. You were the last male heir and I had no idea why she would jeopardize centuries of work.” Varis laughed, although it came out more hysterical than genuine.
“Apparently, they already have plans! Whichever of your vapid relatives that serves Alder is set to get pregnant soon enough. I wonder, will they even let you keep your name?” Aaron was characteristically composed when Varis resumed his tirade, though with each new secret that surfaced, his expression ticked more and more from carefully neutral to openly mortified. He went pale, chest heaving as his breathing grew ragged. His grip on Dawn tightened until his knuckles were white, and tears shone in his glassy black eyes.
“I…” he gasped weakly, taking a moment to find his voice.
“I fucking knew it.”He paused only long enough for a sharp inhale, shifting anxiously on his feet as tears began to fall.
“I thought—I tried to convince myself that it was some kind of slick political move, but I knew it couldn’t be. But Dora? I— they told me she was infertile! Sun and stars, what lengths did they go to just to safely dispose of me?!” His hands rose to the sides of his head, eyes wide as the terrible realization dawned on him.
“Aaron Martoch…” he murmured, voice trembling along with the rest of his body. He shook his head violently, straightening with rage shining through his burgeoning panic attack.
“I was fucking perfect!” he screamed, voice tearing through the room and bouncing off the walls.
“I crossed every T and dotted every I they told me to, I knelt on stones for days and bit my tongue when they beat me, hurled myself at Lucan until I was half-dead, all for them! Because I loved them!” Tears flowed freely, but anger clearly dominated him.
“But perfect isn’t good enough!” He made a beeline for Varis, absolute murder in his eyes, but just as he neared enough for a blow, he stopped, mere inches from the Count’s face.
“Perfect isn’t good enough for you, not good enough for the Queen, not good enough for Ryner, and most of all, perfect isn’t good enough for this bastard— looking— down on me!” He drew back his arm, but rather than striking Varis, he turned, accenting each word with a powerful left hook to the Landar statue’s jaw.
The bones in Aaron’s fingers cracked and popped against the stone, blood staining the marble, before he finally stopped. Shoulders heaving, when he looked back at Varis his face bore only a few specks of blood and a look of somber determination.
“And at the end of it all, I won’t even get to come back here, will I?”Aaron straightened, stepping back. In one smooth motion he drew his blade, jaw set even as his breath grew ragged. The point of the blade settled under Varis’ chin.
“So why draw this shit out any longer if the destination’s the same?” Faster than Varis would expect, Aaron drew back for what looked like a killing blow; but rather than deliver it, he drew the edge across his own throat, cutting almost to the bone until blood spewed out like a putrid fountain and he collapsed, Dawn clattering to the floor. The body laid there a moment, its face a picture of emptiness, before it faded away. The coin around its neck dropped to the floor with a metallic
ting, unguarded.
Varis gaped at the sight. Frankly, he’d been concerned for a second until the clone started punching the statue. He wiped the blood that sprayed on his face off with his hand, bringing some up to his mouth to taste while he contemplated the coin. He’d forgotten that this was a challenge. He felt raw and vulnerable and he just wanted out.
At least the boy did the deed himself. Varis was very close to walking out and finding someone to do it for him.
Varis gagged and coughed violently as the searing spiciness of the boy’s blood made his mouth feel on fire. If this was how suicide made the boy feel, he’d have to make sure he was well away from it if he ever tried. Varis snatched up the coin as he coughed and the clearing snapped back into view, only the lingering feeling of tears and the ghost of burn on his tongue remaining. Varis stared down at the coin for a few contemplative moments. All those things the clone spouted had been... odd. He barely understood half of it but it had hurt in a way he’d never hurt before. He turned and looked at the skull.
Unlike the other challenge where he’d been filled with rage, this one left him feeling empty. He put the coin in his pocket and checked his ear, sighing in relief when he found it whole again. He placed his hand on the skull again, flinching but he’d never admit it. Nothing happened so he picked it up and turned it over a few times. It was well made and frankly, Varis would normally keep something like this for him home. One of the wings had an empty spot. Perhaps he’d ask Ryner for the name of the artist who made it.
Varis made his way back to the others with the skull in hand. He looked over the others. The mages clearly decided to sulk in silence the entire time. Varis didn’t particularly care if the boy made nice with Eris’ pet, he didn’t need anything from him after all, but he should have at least made some overtures. Varis made a mental note to speak with him about it later. But the mages were nothing but a blip on his radar when he caught sight of Eris. No purposely cultivated air of ease, no flippant smile, no charming demeanor. His carefully maintained facade had been dropped and the real vampire was out to play.
How interesting.
“Now that we’re finished with this unpleasant business, it’s time we’re away.” Varis handed his mage his half of the coin and returned the one he’d taken from the boy. They would indeed be having a conversation when they returned to his dorm, absently brushing feeling his ear.
“Figure out what to do with those, boy. I doubt they’re meant to stay in two pieces. And now that you’ll receive full marks, we can finally quit this horrid forest. I for one am looking forward to a relaxing rest of my evening. Would you care to join, Eris?” 
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