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AlteredTundra male Member

STATUS: Glory to the CCP! 15 days ago
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15 days ago
Current Glory to the CCP!
5 likes
30 days ago
spiced rum and lemon sweet tea is such an unassuming combo. i've had two 12oz drinks and it is kicking my white ass
2 mos ago
A piece of pumpkin pie costs $2.00 in Jamaica, $2.45 in Barbados, and $3.00 in Puerto Rico. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
5 likes
3 mos ago
Check my new bio out for a special message!
6 likes
3 mos ago
*Hits poohead* I didn't have a problem but it's nice that the door is open :)
1 like

Bio

Most Recent Posts

In Delbrook Academy: Senior Year [ FULL ] → 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
@Wolf Mother @Akayaofthemoon @TGM - Kyle it a comeback!
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In 𝘿𝙀𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉 ⌜ᴀ ɢᴏᴅ ʀᴏʟᴇᴘʟᴀʏ⌟ → 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Here he is finally



In Edenridge → 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Timestamp: Four weeks after the Boston restaurant fiasco





A @metanoia & @Venus collaboration

Once Mikhail and Caitlin got into his truck and began their trek down the Edenridge roads that led to O’Halloran’s Creek, it had just occurred to Mika that he was on his way to Godmother to get something to eat and whatever she had in that bag was tempting him. He tried all that he could to turn it off, but then his stomach started to speak for him as it rumbled in an audible way. “So what smells so good in that bag of yours, Blossom? Kinda smells like a meatball sub to me.”

As the sound of Mika's rumbling stomach interrupted the silence that previously had settled between them, the redhead giggled. "It's actually a Porchetta Abruzzese sandwich. I got my usual and was planning to swing by the pub with the porchetta to give to Rhett for lunch, but slamming a door into someone's face can change your plans real quick," she said with another small laugh, a warm, fuzzy feeling settling in her chest when she heard the driver revert back to the use of the pet name he'd given her back in the day. "You're more than welcome to have it, though. He didn't know I was coming anyway, so it's not like he will miss it."

He wasn’t going to even attempt to pronounce what kind of sandwich it was. Mika didn’t know how them Italians did it, but maybe the same could be said for some Russian phrases. Ley sure as hell didn't understand when he cursed at her in his native tongue. But food was food and all he knew was he needed something in his stomach soon or how much Cece would be able to tolerate him would seriously be tested in no time flat. “Well since you offered…”

Mika casually reached his hand deep into the bag that was in Cece’s lap. He had to get a little close to her because apparently those Godmother take out bags were larger than they should be. Ten seconds later, he managed to pull it out and he wouldn’t waste any time. Before he even started up his truck, he unwrapped it enough so that he could take a few bites of it. The mix of pork and some spices between the italian roll was enough to send Mika’s senses into heaven. “This is pretty fucking delicious, Blossom!” Mika said with his mouth half-full. “Poor Rhett, he’s missing out on one hell of a sammy!”

Grabbing her own sandwich from the bag, Cece let out a convincing fake laugh. The young woman had never been a fan of lying-- although her secretive approach to relationships and the things she had to do to maintain them might say otherwise. But telling Mika that the extra sandwich she was carrying was for her brother instead of Niles was a foolproof way to avoid sour moods or drama.

The distance from Godmother and, well, civilization in general wasn’t a long one, but the entire drive was spent in mostly silence as they both enjoyed their sandwiches. Mika didn’t know what to say and he was honestly too busy going over what he would tell her once they got there. Between that and the memories of past times spent at the creek, it was a lot to say the least. He knew he had to be honest with her or else this would’ve been a big waste of her time. Mika understood what he did was shitty. That whole hotel incident was kind of a mistake in hindsight, but also not. Without it, they wouldn’t be here. So maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

Or maybe that was wishful thinking, Mikhail.

The bouncing felt in the truck as they drove on the less-than-stellar roads was a familiar feeling. His truck was meant for off-road trails, but something Cece hinted about the roads rang true because it was a lot more bumpier than he remembered. As they traversed, Mika unknowingly had grabbed onto Cece’s hand. Was it out of comfort for him? For her? Who the hell knew, but he held onto it until they arrived.

Caitlin had offered no protests, nor did she make any attempts to pull her hand away from Mika’s. Her sixth sense was telling her that the conversation they were about to have would be emotional, so she didn’t blame him for trying to find comfort in any way he could. On her end, even after the heartbreak and humiliation he’d made her feel, a wave of nostalgia was making her soul ache with longing for times long gone. She couldn’t remember how many times she and Mika had driven down this dirt road: hands intertwined, singing off-key to their favorite songs, roaring with laughter at how every bump in the road made it feel like they were in a rollercoaster ride. Who would’ve thought that, a few years later, they’d be driving down the same dirt road-- being nothing but strangers with a shared past?

When the Tacoma eventually came to a stop, Mika noticed his hand still on hers, and withdrew it almost immediately. “Uh…we’re here,” he stated kind of awkwardly, turning off the truck and hopping out.

The Cleary girl did the same, unbuckling her seat belt and exiting the vehicle but making no comment about the retrieval of his hand. The short trek to the cherry tree by the bank, with Mika a few steps behind her, was quiet save for the crunching sound of their footsteps on the dried leaves and the faint sound of the steady stream of water over the rocks. When she’d reached a comfortable spot under the shade, the young woman took a seat and crossed her legs. “Whenever you’re ready,” Cece said gently, turning her attention to her ex.

Mika glanced at the tree. It reminded him of the one they first met under the oak tree at the cemetery, when she was sitting in front of David’s gave. That day when everything around them seemed smaller than it actually was. How funny that the worst things in Mika’s life back then were his grades, keeping an average that didn’t disqualify him from the football team, and anyone who he had formed close bonds with ever finding out about his relation to the O’Haras (specifically Cece and the members of the O’Hara--his family--he had grown close to). Nowadays, most of them knew. He and his uncle had a strained relationship (for obvious reasons), and now the worst thing in his life was so far removed from football and his hidden familial ties. Now there was Southside shit to deal with, and his brother being back in his life.

“Right.” He murmured quietly, walking over to the tree. There was a familiar feeling that passed over him. Maybe it was being this close to the creek or the tree itself, but he took a standing position, leading against the rough bark, arms crossed and folded over his chest, looking out at the creek for a couple of short moments. He was definitely stalling only because he knew he only had one shot at this. If he was going to have any chance of making anything right between them, even if it meant being back at square one, he’d have to give her the truth.

But what truth? Yeah, that was the million dollar question. He didn’t anticipate doing it ever (at least not when Hyde was still in the picture), but the more he thought about it, maybe it was time she knew for real. “So…the explanation..” He stumbled on his words, biting the inside of his lip as he felt his stomach start to churn from the tension building within him. “...About what happened. With us and the things I said. I--” He took in a few deep breaths,almost like there was a part of him that didn’t want to say it. He broke her heart, so she didn’t stick around, but she came back to town on her own. So him trying to protect her, at least for the reasons he had at the time, didn’t seem to matter as much. “--I kind of left some things out when…I said what I said.”

“Okay,” Caitlin answered in that same gentle manner that characterized her, her eyes locked on the crystal-clear currents of water in their southbound travel. As curious as she was to know, pressuring or rushing the nervous-looking Mika wouldn’t get them anywhere, so she just patiently waited for him to continue speaking when he was ready.

He remained quiet for a few slow moments, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he contemplated how he was going to phrase what he knew he needed to say. Just coming out and telling her wouldn’t be right. For how badly he hurt her, for how cruel he was to her, she deserved to know the truth-- consequences be damned.

With a deep inhale and exhale, Mika began. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Caitlin. A lot that I’ve kept hidden from you…to protect you. The world I grew up in, the violence it has in it, that’s something that nobody who didn’t come up with it as their normal should ever experience. Someone like you.” His eyes moved to the creek for a few seconds and then he looked down at her. “I thought keeping that part of my life away from you would’ve been enough. I thought if you never knew about it and just had this idea of me that I pushed you away, saying I never loved you, saying anything and everything that I knew would break you, I could keep you safe. But…”

Mika dropped to the ground, his back against the tree and half-smiled. “But I know keeping it from you now doesn’t matter. So here’s the reason: I pushed you away and broke your heart because of my brother. Not Rey Rey-- but one of two biological brothers I have. His name is Cameron Hyde. It didn’t matter if he was in prison. He would have found out about us, and I couldn’t risk that. I couldn’t--’” Mika turned around and looked at his ex, waiting until she did the same. “I could never forgive myself if you got hurt because of me. And I don’t mean a few months of heartbreak, but actually, physically hurt.” Part of him wanted to reach out for her hand, but Mika resisted and just kept his eyes on hers.

Caitin had quietly listened to Mika’s explanation, analyzing every line said. Being raised in the Northside and under the protection of her father and brother meant she hadn’t experienced anything even remotely close to whatever horrors most Southie kids went through. She’d heard the chilling stories about their substance-abusing relatives, abusive upbringings, the disgusting ways people would take advantage of them at their most vulnerable, the violence that surrounded the area… Even during the rare times she’d traveled to the Southside, her visits were limited to one location, and her ex had gone to great lengths to conceal her identity and ensure her safety. At the time, Cece had chalked it up to Mika being cautious because of the area they were in and who his host family was. She never would have guessed there was something beyond his lifestyle threatening their relationship.

The mention of his brother and what he represented gave the redhead a new perspective on things. A few times after the breakup, Caitlin had been incessantly plagued by the idea that perhaps her deepest insecurities about their relationship had been true after all. That, in the end, Mika was ashamed of her because she didn’t even come close to all of the previous lovers he’d had before her, which is why he’d been so adamant about keeping their liaison a secret. Now, armed with this new knowledge, she felt silly for having those thoughts in the first place.

For a few seconds after the man had stopped speaking, the young woman allowed a respectful silence to settle as she continued to process this new information. “Cameron Hyde…” Cece eventually repeated slowly, trying to remember where she’d heard the familiar name before. When the man’s identity finally dawned on her, her blue-green eyes widened with pure shock. Mika-- the goofy, sweet, affectionate man standing in front of her-- being related to someone like that? “Cameron Hyde as in the Cameron who almost killed his mom and Aleyda a few years ago?” she asked him in a hushed manner, as if afraid that speaking any louder might summon the man from the shadows, like the Boogeyman.

“Yeah, that’s my brother: the guy that never fails to make headlines,” Mika commented somewhat absentmindedly.

This confirmation, along with the words Mika had said before, posed a new question. “Why would Cameron want to hurt me if he had found out we were together?” Cece inquired, a confused, puzzled expression on her face. If there was anyone less capable of purposely committing any actions to upset people, it was Caitlin.

In the back of his mind, somewhere deep in his soul, Mika knew she'd want to know the why. Maybe before it would have been left at face value, but just as he wasn't the same person he was last year (and then some) when they broke up, so was Cece. She seemed to be wiser from where he sat. She could probably handle more than he was thinking she could.

With a deep breath to calm his nerves, Mika continued, "It is because that's who he is. I don't know if it's that he is legitimately crazy or if he just hates other people being happy, but everything bad that you might have endured because of me is nothing compared to what Hyde is capable of. He is a literal Devil, Caitlin. And not the wisecracking kind, but the kind that makes you feel important to him and then rips all that you love away from you." Mika was shaking with a deeply-rooted anger that he thought was long since buried.

A scarier, darker thought came to her. “It was Mary-Anne who he tried to murder?” Cece inquired, her blood turning to ice at the mere idea of anything happening to Mika’s down to earth, polite, compassionate mother.

It was only a few seconds later that he registered what she said last. “Wait, what? Oh no, that’s not who he--” In the back of his mind, though Mika understood the gravity of even telling her about Hyde, he was cursing himself over and over again. He wasn’t anticipating that he might have to tell her about why he was sent to Edenridge in the first place.

Or maybe he didn’t have to. Telling her about the world he grew up in was one thing, but explaining who his biological father was and what he did was a mess so complicated that it wouldn’t make any sense even if Mika did try to explain it.

“Hyde--that is to say, Cameron Hyde-- isn’t my maternal older brother. He has no relation to my mother. We are half-brothers through my father.” That tense feeling in his stomach was at an all-time high. “My father, Ivan Zima, is as bad as they come. He’s a violent man who has a lot of enemies. My father who, for all of my life up until I moved here, had also made a lot of friends. Powerful friends -- Big Rey Gonzalez being one of them. When the threat of his work came too close for comfort, he shipped off my sisters and I to Edenridge. I stayed with Rey and my sisters, under a new name…Capek, stayed with a family relative in Pinehurst.”

At his last words, the young woman’s mind immediately went back to the family photos she’d seen on the walls of Mary-Anne’s place. “Your sisters… As in Katie and Stacy?” Cece pieced together, thinking back to the two nice, beautiful girls she’d met during dinner back when she and Mika were at the peak of their situationship. They’d been introduced to her as his cousins, but the resemblance had been too uncanny, yet she hadn’t wanted to pry into it.

Mika nodded. He’d come this far, so keeping that small piece of the puzzle a secret didn’t seem like such a big deal. “Yep, those are my darling, sometimes infuriating sisters.” Mika chuckled only at the fact that every single sister he has, adopted or blood related, were a major pain in his ass in their own way.

The redhead smiled at Mika’s remark, reminded of the entertaining rounds of good-natured banter and bickering Mika and his sisters frequently engaged themselves in during her visits. The love and deep bonds they shared with one another were obvious in their every interaction. It had been one of the many things that had strengthened her feelings for him. “You love them, though,” she teased, grabbing a few leaves from the ground next to her and playfully tossing them in the man’s direction.

“For better or worse,” Mika chuckled, just thinking about how there were slim pickings for reasonable brothers for them. He was really the best one they had, though even VIctor had times when he wasn’t a total asshole. “It’s kind of hard to believe that between me, my asshole brother Victor, and the literal devil himself that those two actually ended up with normal personalities and even more common aspirations for their future. Katie wants to, and I quote ‘change the world through politics and looking good doing it’, while Stace just wants to be a cheerleader.” A smile popped on his face. Mika hoped their future wouldn’t be tainted by their relation to him or any of the bullshit their father had brought into this world.

Another question came to Cece. "Since you all share the same father, do the twins know about Cameron?" she asked him, curious about whether all the siblings shared the same terrible relationship with Hyde as Mika did. "From what you've told me, if he truly hates seeing people happy, then not meeting Cameron would be the best thing to happen to Kate and Stace-- they're so happy and sweet and full of life."

“No!” A part of Mika snapped even at the thought of them ever knowing him. Or if Cameron ever caught wind of their existence. Realizing just how sudden the change in his demeanor was, Mika expelled a deep breath, “Sorry. I-- No, they don’t know about him and he doesn’t know about them.” He was calmer, but it was clear in how he spoke that Mika was still on edge. “It’s not just that he hates people being happy. He has this…idea of family. It’s twisted and wrong and not what you might think of when you think of family. If he ever knew they were here, let alone my mother--”

At this point, his own fear took hold of everything from his stomach and upward, gnawing at him from within. That fear about Hyde’s dark side and how anything that could set him off. And if he ever knew that Mika kept this from him…

“Cece…” Mika unknowingly had reached for his ex’s hands. Grabbing them, squeezing them with a shaky grip. “Nobody can ever know what I just told you. Please…” As he was looking down, Mika met Caitlin’s gaze and they were starting to get watery. He bit his lip, then gritted his teeth, swallowing down the wave of emotions that were begging to come out. “You have to promise me that this stays between us. I shouldn’t have told you, but I did. I did and now please, you have to promise. I know I don’t deserve it, but this isn’t about me. My sisters, my mom -- he can’t ever know.”

The love he had for his family, for those completely oblivious and innocent to anything connected to Hyde, came through-- in his voice, in his eyes, and in how he desperately clung to Cece’s hands. He knew he didn’t deserve it, but he had no choice. Mika had to ask her to keep this a secret because if this got out, it wouldn’t hurt just him, but people who were pure. In all the dark shit that happened to him and in the world he grew up in, Katie and Stacy were the light.

The sheer terror and panic radiating from Mika made Caitlin’s heart ache with understanding. She knew what it was like to keep a loved one secret for their protection, and the endless worry of what would happen if the secret got out. With so much on the line, the potential consequences to be faced and the individual enforcing said consequences, it was no wonder that Mika was crumbling like he was. She could only imagine how much this weighed on him daily-- especially with nobody to confide in and lessen that burden. Seeing his struggle, vulnerability and honesty firsthand made the young woman want to help in the only way she knew how: with her softness and compassion.

Motivated by her need to comfort Mika, Cece freed one of her hands from his shaky grasp to cup his face, tenderly caressing his cheek with her thumb in the same way she used to when he needed his soul to be soothed. “Shhhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…” she cooed gently in an attempt to console him, locking her eyes with his so he could be certain that she meant her next words. “I won’t tell anybody about this-- I promise. No matter what happens between us, your secrets will always be safe with me.”

The storm inside Mika was still brewing, wrecking every calm composure he wished his mind maintained. The terror of anyone, especially his brother, finding out and giving Mika a lesson by hurting Cece, or anyone he was ever close to almost broke him. The very thought of it almost broke him, but when she held his hand, it took him a second. And then another series of seconds went by and his hands ceased to shake. The thoughts kept pouring out, like venom poisoning everything good around him. That’s when he felt the soft touch of her thumb. Memories of better days, no matter how small, took hold of every negative emotion, her voice like the ray of light he needed.

And then Mika’s intense, short breathing slowed, hearing her repeat and repeat ‘it’s okay’. And as he looked at her, her beautiful face. The pale skin, her eyes that quelled the hurricane that flooded his mind. Every time he had ever looked this close into her eyes, in times past it was always followed up by a kiss that showed her through actions, not words, how much she meant to him. Circumstances have changed between them, but the way he felt for her and how never did.

“Cece, I--” He was struggling to find the right words, so he would do it through actions. He brought his hand up to her thumb, caressing it as she was doing to his cheek. His blue gaze lingered on her compassionate eyes and in the next moment, took her into an embrace as he leaned forward. His arms, though still shaky, were finding comfort in holding her. Was it a good idea? He didn’t know, but it felt…right.

“Thank you…” Was all he said, wanting to savor the moment. How long it would last he didn’t know, but for right now, he didn’t want it to end.

The logical thing to do, as a taken woman, would’ve been to politely pull away from Mika’s embrace as soon as possible. But instead of letting go, Caitlin allowed herself to sink further into their hug, hoping to silently transmit her thoughts and feelings to her former lover through her touch. Truthfully, she needed this hug as much as he did, and she would be lying to herself if she denied his arms still gave her a sense of comfort and peace-- her safe harbor in any storm.

“Thank you, for taking care of me,” she said gratefully, holding him even tighter in her embrace. Letting her go so she could be safe, even with the deep feelings they shared for each other at their peak, was proof that Mika truly cared about her after all. He cared about her so much, he was selfless enough to sacrifice his happiness to ensure her safety. It was something she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to repay, but something she could be grateful for. “I promise that, in any way I can, I’ll protect you too.”

Protecting each other at all costs: it was a promise that, right then and there between each other’s arms, Mika and Caitlin both vowed to keep.


In Delbrook Academy: Senior Year [ FULL ] → 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
@Wolf Mother @Akayaofthemoon @TGM - character 1 of 2

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In Descension {A God RP} → 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Interest Checks
Just when I thought I was out, I'm pulled back in. Damn that Collossus!

*clears throat*

I mean I'm in!
In 𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 - A Kingdom Hearts Story → 3 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay




The worlds are in disarray.


The Twilight Order has rapidly expanded across the galaxy, conquering all planets that they deemed worthy. Disney, Final Fantasy, and many others began to see their worlds crumble under the weight of the order. Their goal? No one knows but, it was found after several hundred years that the order has been attempting to create a princess of heart. The princess, Violet, escaped with the help of the resistance to begin living life within a small town known as Neo Midgar on the planet of Hollow Bastion. They had also found a young boy by the name of Gios that has stayed by Violet's side for the last several years. With the world's collapsing and the imminent invasion from the Twilight Order, their lives will forever be changed. To wield a keyblade is to become a hero.
In 𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 - A Kingdom Hearts Story → 3 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
1x1 between myself and @Taka
In Edenridge → 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay




A @metanoia & @LovelyComplex collaboration
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There were days that whenever Jade went to work and had to entertain (though not in the same way her co-worker friend Hailey did) the animals and old, fat bastards that the graveyard shift attracted when she was on the edge of being grossed out or close to punching them. On these days, Jade even had fun when the grotesque regulars tested her patience, but tonight’s shift was different. Plenty of those regulars were at Edge tonight and tried to charm their way into getting Jade to do what she seldom did and take a spot on the pole, instead of serving them cheap beer and surprisingly addictive wings. She didn’t do it, of course, but she didn’t play along. She just…didn’t do it.

And maybe she hasn’t really been in her usual playful work self for a while. Or at least not since Friday (it was technically sunday, right?) She has felt numb ever since then and not even the sight of the bouncer tossing those overzealous regulars like Uncle Phil did to Jazz could make her genuinely smile. She went through the rest of her shift until she got off at 5 and hopped on her harley shorttal, letting the wind of this surprisingly chilly Edenridge early morning hit her in her face, her golden locks flowing in the air. The only protection being the helmet on her head and the leather jacket she always wore (a gift to her from her uncle).

Jade drove across the tracks and into the northside, not caring at all how fast she was going nor how loud her hog roared through the quiet streets. She kept going until she came to the ever-famous diner where breakfast was 24/7 (or at least it wasn’t relegated to certain times in the morning). It was one of her favorite spots to go to after work and especially when she needed a few hours to herself to just decompress.

As she pulled up to the parking lot, she chose a spot close to the exit, pointing her cruiser out to the road so whenever she would leave, she could just zoom the hell out. Jade had a backpack that she almost always carried with her. Part of her decompressing process was picking a mostly isolated part of the diner, taking out a book that she got personally from Poppy, and got lost in whatever story her sister recommended she read. The one she had this week was the classic Alice in Wonderland story. She knew it, but only the Disney version and not the original.

Shoving herself through the door and hearing the bell go off, the blonde absentmindedly scanned the diner. It was mostly empty, which made her half-smile because it meant choosing a place to be to herself wouldn’t be hard. Typically she went for a booth, but Jade didn’t see any prying eyes, or in the Northside’s case, any judging eyes (because of how she was dressed), so she chose a spot at the countertop near the middle of the diner.

“Almost like clockwork, Jade.” Brandon, the waiter who had the graveyard shift like Jade did looked at Jade with his usual smile. He was roughly a few years older than Jade and pretty average looking. White man with dark hair and nice, calm blue eyes. “The usual? Three chocolate-chip pancakes, two sausage links, and a double order of potatoes o’brien?”

Jade chuckled and smiled, if not enough to not make him worried. “Don’t forget coffee. As strong as you can make it.”

“You got it!”

After she got her coffee, Jade pulled out her book and picked up where she left off. “Chapter 3…”

As Jade read her book, a couple minutes later the doorbell rang again and the woman with a strikingly piercing gaze made her way to the counter. After the dreadfully bad nighttime breakfast her brother made, one meal here was not enough. The Basilisk had spent an hour or so with her brothers here a little after midnight. She left for a little bit, but her craving had not been satiated. She loved breakfast. She also loved milkshakes and here she could have both.

“Back again?” Brandon chortled, staring at the woman in a black jean jumpsuit, a white turtleneck, and a messy bun. “Looks like you changed! Did you get much sleep?”

Instead of immediately responding, the Russian woman sat beside a blonde bombshell reading a book. She glanced over, taking note of what she was reading before looking back at the waiter. “No. No sleep.” She showered, sure, but sleep? She spent most of the night with her brothers and now it was a new day. She had work to do.

“Usual, yeah?”

“Of course.” With no hesitation, she answered, knowing exactly what she liked at this place. She never changed. Once she found something she liked, loved even, she stood with it through and through. When her chocolate milkshake was pushed in front of her, she took a couple of sips. Glancing back at the girl, knowing exactly who she was, but not the other way around, she shrugged to herself and decided to start a conversation, “Good book?”

Jade murmured to herself. It helped her get a better understanding of whatever she read, so she didn’t register the voice that beckoned to her until a few seconds after the fact. When she did, she shook her head slightly, breaking out of the trance-like state she was in. As she turned to the blonde sitting next to her, what she noticed immediately was how attractive she was. She didn’t know who she was, but Jade always could admire another’s beauty. “Huh?” It took a moment and she laughed in a low tone. “Yeah, I guess it is. Just at the beginning. My sister recommended I read this one. It’s nice so far.”

Jade was slow to pick up on the details, especially when she was distracted. So it wasn’t until just now she realized the blonde sitting next to her was all clothed up in a jean assortment. Another thing she noticed was the chocolate shake. “How’s the shake?” She asked the blonde stranger.

With her broken English, Anya gave a half smile, “Delicious, you had shake before?” As she waited for a response, she started to sway her feet back and forth like a kid. This was the first time the Basilisk had an in person meeting with Charlie Taylor’s niece. Before Jade could say anything in response, the stranger gestured to the coat, “If I forget, I like your coat. Very cool. Very nice.”

As she was about to answer the first question, suddenly the stranger sitting next to her commented on her jacket. That immediately brought a small smile to the blonde’s face. “Oh…thanks.” Partly blushing only because she never had anyone bypass her appearance and actually and genuinely complimented her on what she was wearing with no second meaning attached to it. “It’s…special to me. My uncle gave me this jacket.” It almost made her sad talking about her Uncle Charlie, especially since she wished he wasn’t in prison and instead could be out and about whenever he wanted.

“I know that feeling.” Anya slid her milkshake to the side and took a deep waft of the food being cooked. This was exciting. Breakfast was exciting. “We put love in item as if… we have person with us. I have something too.” The older blonde put her right hand in her pant’s pocket and pulled out a brooch. “Mama had little but this, this she kept. Her mom gave to her and she left with me. I like it. Pansy flower. There french word ‘penser’. It means ponder. It flower that helps sym-” she struggled trying to pronounce a word before deciding to change it, “--comfort others when in pain and sad.” She gestured for Jade to observe it, allowing her to grab it from her hand.

Jade listened intently as she talked about what her mother gave to her. She smiled a bit wider, finding a certain kindred spirit in how there was someone else that had something that a person very dear to their heart gave to them. The way she spoke about the broach, the meaning behind it, she often felt similarly about her jacket. It may not have had that kind of poetic meaning, but it was a thoughtful gift and she has never been seen without it on.

As she took the broach in her hand (of course with the permission of its owner), Jade felt it with her fingers. One thing she couldn’t help but notice was how authentic it felt. The material wasn’t cheap, or at least not like common swap meet items were. “It’s a lovely broach. Your mother must love you a great deal to give you something so beautiful,” Jade said, handing the broach back to her diner friend. A small part of her envied that closeness she had with her mother. Jade only wished her own ever cared enough to do anything but get high.

“This brooch is all I have left.” Anya smiled to herself, gently rubbing her thumb on the jewelry before pocketing it, “Are you pancake girl? What kind of food you get?” No longer wanting to harbor on what was lost, the Basilisk redirected the conversation to idle but important things. Like breakfast. Breakfast was simple yet important.

“I…haven’t thought about food, to be honest,” she admitted with a short chuckle. It wasn’t that she wasn’t hungry, but she came to the diner just to get some reading in before she went home to her apartment. “I mean, pancakes are good and they certainly hit the spot, but the french toast supreme here is to die for.” It’s true, Jade wasn’t really a pancake girl. But french toast? She could devour as much as her stomach could handle. “Three thick loaf slices with whipped cream and syrup and a side of fresh, mixed berries.” Her mouth was salivating just thinking about her usual.

Brandon came in putting Jade’s food in front of her, which were chocolate chip pancakes, sausage, and potatoes. Jade’s coffee had been on the table this entire time but she had been so invested in the book that she didn’t notice it beside the milkshake. Anya’s half smile went into a smirk. “That looks like pancakes, girl.” The older woman teased.

Shortly after, Anya’s food came too. A big pancake with a bacon smile, chocolate chip hair, banana eyes, and a strawberry nose. “Spasiba!” She thanked B-Rad, the Lord of breakfast. As she leisurely cut a piece of pancake off, she looked back at her acquaintance, “Maybe I try French toast next time. You know this guy—” she pointed her fork with a pancake piece on it to the waiter, “— He know my face and he make sure he make faces on my pancake. It make my day.”

“Honest gesture for a friend, Anya.” The waiter smiled at the Basilisk, he being one of the few people Kamensky trusted with her name. He knows when to say it and when to not. Based on how she talked and held herself to the girl next to her, amicably and kind, he knew it was safe to disclose it, “And damn, Jade, getting her to try anything different is an excruciating task. I gave up a long time ago.”

“I like what I like, happy pancake, happy me.” She took a bite of her pancake, making sure it was cooked just the way she liked it. When it was, she reached for the syrup.

“Can’t blame a girl for trying, can you?” Jade laughed and Brandon smiled back as she looked down at the pile of pancakes beneath her. She was hungry, sure, but she couldn’t stop herself from watching Anya. There was something about her that she couldn’t put her finger on, but something about how…authentic her joy was with something as simple as pancakes that made her smile.

When she saw Anya reach for the syrup, Jade almost laughed. Not because of the fact it was syrup or anything like that, but more that Jade never had been a syrup gal. Sweet was good, but too sweet made her stomach rumble in every wrong way. Chocolate chips and butter was enough for her. So she took a bite of hers at long last and let out a delighted sound. She was still a french toast kinda girl, but even she couldn’t deny how delicious chocolate chip pancakes were. “It’s good. Like really good!” She said with half of her mouth full of the big piece of pancake in her mouth.

“I know. Best thing in this town.” Anya carefully watched Jade as she ate, curious of who she was as a person and all the things she liked. Having been in the shadows for so long, the Basilisk could feel a longing to have some normalcy. Perhaps that’s why she loved this diner. She was free. It was the one place she didn’t feel like she was in a cage and there was something about Jade that she couldn’t help admire. As much as Jade likes to cover things up deeply, she felt deeply about all those around her and the town she lived in. She also had a beautiful kinship with Penelope James. Anya Kamensky noticed and yearned to feel things like that. This interaction, as small as it seems, meant everything to her.

In her pocket, her burner phone vibrated and she cursed under her breath, “Derr ‘mo.” Brandon met her gaze, knowing it was time for the woman to go. Sighing to herself, Anya hopped off the stool, having only taken a couple bites of her happy pancake. Slipping her hand in her pocket, she pulled out two hundred dollar bills.

Brandon shook his head in disapproval, “You really don’t have to do that much.”

“No, no I do. This for me, Toast girl, and tip. You deserve this money and need it more.” Knowing this was a losing battle, Brandon took the money and kept the change. Anya turned to the girl who humored her this early in the morning and grinned, “This was fun. I hope we talk more in the future.” Her burner phone buzzed again. Her grin turned sour as she clicked her teeth in annoyance. Picking up her phone, she answered it and started talking in full Russian. When she reached the door, she turned to look back at Jade and gave a goofy finger gun, an enticing wink, and a playful “Kck, Kck,” sound with her mouth and tongue. And just like that, the Basilisk was gone.

“While she doesn’t always come here as frequently as she wants, if you want to see her again, early Sunday mornings are your best bet. Just like today.” Brandon tipped Jade.

Jade didn’t know what it was about Anya that intrigued her so much. Was it the broken English? Maybe her child-like wonder about pancakes that was a delightful contrast to everyone else she met? Or maybe it was how she talked about her mother. Jade never had that. Her mother was…not a good woman. Somewhere in her heart, she wished things were different between them, wished that Whitney wasn’t an addict who didn’t care about her. But Jade knew better to let those thoughts plague her mind.

In reality, Anya made her smile. She couldn’t recall the last time when she had been able to have a conversation with someone who didn’t see her as the stripper who performed at Edge, or the vixen from Edenridge High. Someone who actually saw her in its purest form.

“Sunday morning, you say?” The blonde closed her eyes and smiled. “Guess I will see you Sunday, Brandon.” That was the last thing Jade did before she exited, hopped on her Harley, and went home, feeling like she had something to look forward to that wasn’t work or getting high. She couldn’t wait to tell Poppy about this.

In Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread Number Two → 3 yrs ago Forum: Off-Topic Discussion
@Blizz It was your Destiny 2 be pinged
In Edenridge → 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay

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An Emotional Roller Coaster Collab with @LovelyComplex & @metanoia

After Natalia dropped Danny off a street away from his mark, the Belmonte boy, in his loose blouse, dress pants, and tie, found his way at the front door of the Castillo-Brady house, just like he was the previous night. Also in a nice outfit. The difference with the one he was wearing today versus the one he wore yesterday was it looked like Danny himself had a long day - he looked absolutely exhausted.

If anything, Danny just wanted a nice escape from the chaos that was his family. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure his twin didn’t stalk him there, Danny glanced at the surrounding neighborhood. Taking a deep breath in and out, he smiled to himself when he realized the coast was clear.

Okay. It was go-time.

Taking a step forward, the only son of Taz brought his knuckles forward to the door before announcing his presence.

Knock, knock.

“I got it!” Colin called out, cursing every word in the colorful Irish Cursebook he could.

Today wasn’t a good day for Colin’s third attempt to get a few hours of rest before he had work at 3am. To top it off, the bickering between his two youngest got to the point where he had to send them to a friend’s house to earn him some peace. He didn’t give two shits if it was late or not. He knew where they were and if they got into a bit of trouble, then that was going to be a bridge he’d cross whenever he saw it in the distance. What mattered to him was that they weren’t giving him and his wife rotating migraines.

As he opened the door a bit too wildly that might’ve been necessary (blame it on his agitated state), Colin couldn’t see who was on the front porch. The light wasn’t on and, here’s a shocker, Colin forgot to turn on the light before he opened the door. Oh well.

“Yeah, what the fuck ya want?”

“Uh, hi Mrs. Marlie, if you’re home… It’s Danny. Again.”

Colin’s eye twitched for a few moments. “Sorry. I don’t think I heard you right. You lookin’ for my wife?” Colin reached forward, grabbing what he could, only to could deduce was the fabric of a shirt or jacket. He yanked forward, pulling someone into his well-lit house. It was in Colin’s impulsive (and possibly jealousy-motivated) action that he had changed his tune almost immediately when he saw who it was and the face of someone who rightly was petrified or something in that neighborhood. “Oh..Danny. Danny Belmonte..” Colin just registered the bit that went above his head. Danny was here. And, of course, he was here to see his wife. Why wouldn’t he be?

Colin released his grip on Danny’s shirt almost immediately. “Sorry ‘bout that, kiddo. I didn’t mean to yank you like that. It’s been a long ass day.--” Colin looked at the Italian boy and could tell he looked like he was going through something as well. “Well, anyway. Marlena’s in the kitchen. Think she’s baking something or doing something there. I don’t fucking know, but she’s there.” Colin stepped to the side, closing the door behind Danny.

Gaining his composure and trying his best to not be as shocked as he actually was, Danny rested his hand on his neck and greeted the father of his ex lover, “Sorry for coming in randomly Mr. Brady. I, uh, yeah. It’s been a long day… thanks.” After a moment or two of them staring at each other, Danny dismissed himself and made his way into the kitchen to see a warm sight. His body relaxed the moment he entered the room, feeling her loving spirit. Something he desperately needed right now. He smiled, “Hey, Mrs. Marlie.”

“Buenas noches, tesoro!”

The woman of the hour had been standing by the kitchen island, a black cherry print apron keeping her leopard print pajama set safe from any spills or stains. The smell of apples filled every corner of the Brady-Castillo kitchen, originating from the baked cake currently resting in front of Marlie. At the sight of her son’s friend, her usual warm, affectionate smile made its way to her lips. The brunette took a few steps towards Danny, gave him a hug and motioned for him to take one of the stools by the island. “I made an Irish apple cake for Marco and Colin, but the tres leches cake I made for Marce, Emil and I is in the fridge. Do you want me to cut you a piece?”

“Yeah, sure. You know I can’t refuse your cooking. I’ll take the tres leches, please.” Danny smiled in response to Mama Marlie. Situating himself on a stool, he intertwined his fingers together and anxiously cracked his fingers. Was it rude for him to come announced? Likely. But maybe a conversation with his ex could help him feel better about what was happening in his household right now.

Clearing his throat, Danny disclosed his feelings in a quiet manner, “Is… is Marco doing okay? Last night was… rough to say the least. I just want to make sure I didn’t-- I’m blabbering, sorry. Is he okay?”

As Marlie busied herself with retrieving the cake from the refrigerator, cutting and serving a piece for her guest, she pondered on how to answer Danny’s question. “I can always tell when there’s something weighing on Marco’s mind. Call it mother’s instinct, or something like that,” she smiled warmly, placing the plate and a spoon in front of the Italian boy. “He’s definitely been deep in thought a lot more frequently since last night. I’ve tried to get a straight answer, but he keeps insisting he’s fine. I know he’s not, but I also know Marco will come to me whenever he’s ready-- if he feels comfortable sharing whatever it is with me at all. He was out with Roddy and Rylie this morning at Lyon Park, and he walked from there to Dolly’s all on his own, so maybe that helped him somewhat. But other than that, he’s been doing what he usually does: playing video games in his bedroom.”

“Ah, okay.” Danny anxiously watched Mama Marlie as she cut his cake and explained her perspective. “Has he had cake yet? I could bring him some?” This was the boy’s way of inadvertently showing he was worried about her son and hoping he could figure out what was bothering Marco, for the both of them. “I’d love to eat cake down here with you, but I also just want to check on him, you know? I don’t think he’ll talk if he was down here with us.” With his nervous tick, Danny’s hand was back resting on his neck.

“You are absolutely correct,” Marlie concurred with Danny, pointing at him with the cake knife she’d been holding. “And because we both know he’s been waiting all day for this cake to be ready and hasn’t had a piece yet, you have the power of an offering on your side,” she joked as she grabbed another small plate from the cabinet, cut, served and passed the piece of apple cake to Danny. “Here you go, Danny: take this to Marco and tell him it’s from me. And please tell him to be careful with the crumbs: I’ll be really upset if we get any ants or cockroaches coming in here,” she said sternly to the visitor, hoping he’d passed on the message. As much as Marlie strongly disliked her family members eating in their bedrooms (a silly mom thing), she was also aware of how exceptions could be made under the right circumstances. Tonight, of course, was one of these exceptions.

It was always on days when Marco was at his lowest that he became lost in whatever distraction he chose. Since he got home from the park earlier this morning, the fact that it was going to be one of his last times being able to spend time with Rylie, to be able to have quality time spent with Roddy, he savored the minutes they spent waiting for their sandwiches being made. That time was divided between having laughs with Roddy as Marco made silly faces for his goddaughter. But Marco had to say goodbye a lot sooner than he would have liked. When he was dropped off at home, his ma asked him how his day was and he gave her a quick rundown about things and about Roddy leaving and how he was tired.

Part of that wasn’t a lie. He did take a nap for a couple of hours. He did eat some dinner, but there was a lot on his mind so he didn’t put down as much as he normally did, which he just knew had to worry his ma. So his distraction was something easy, fun, and that didn’t require a lot of thought. He tried to cover it up like he did this morning with a smile and keeping up the front that nothing was wrong, but the more time went by in the day, the less convincing Marco became.

Maybe that’s why he was held up in his room since six. After dinner, he just locked himself in his room, turned on his PS4, and played his go-to minimal-strategy-required game that, of course, was Kingdom Hearts III. He just got lost in the fun of combative Disney characters and let his mind wander. However, all it came to was what had been on his mind since roughly eighteen hours ago: Danny and what that conversation with Jill had done to him.

But it wasn’t just that and the longer he thought about it, the more Marco made sense of his thoughts. What Jill said was an eye-opener and there was something that he never confronted. There was something that he never allowed himself to think about and maybe he had to? Maybe it was time?

And then every thought faded when Marco smelled something that made his stomach rumble and his lips water. “Is that Nana’s Apple Cake I smell?” It had to be. Marco knew that smell anywhere. He didn’t know what she put in it, but all he knew was that Ma’s take on it was just as good, if not better, than Nana’s.

Side note: he also smelled Tres Leches Cake and that was good, but his heart belonged to Apple Cake.

He took in a few sniffs, the aroma alone almost making him want to stop the nonsense he had been entertaining for the past hour, and grab him a slice or three.

“Actually you know what--”

As Marco paused his game and got up from his bed, grunting as he leaned the wrong way on his sore left leg, he heard his door creak open, seeing two things that made him feel more conflicted than he has in his entire life: a plate with a large slice of apple cake in one hand and a glass of apple cider to wash it down in the other and Danny standing in his room.

“Danny..” For the first time in his life, Marco’s greeting to Danilo Belmonte, his ex, the guy that Jill said didn’t deserve Marco, wasn’t with a positive, Marco-smile, but a forced smile that was bullshit to people who knew him inside and out like Danny did. “I didn’t know you were here.” Out of habit, Marco straightened his disheveled hair. “When did you get here?” He asked, biting the inside of his cheek afterward.

Quietly, with his back, Danny closed the door behind him and gave a half smile, feeling the somber emotions his ex was battling simply by entering the room. “Not too long ago.” He ended up leaving his piece of cake behind because he didn’t have enough hands to bring Marco’s apple cake, his tres leche, ,and cider. So, he would simply live with the fact that he missed out on Mrs. Marlie’s cake.

Danny stood by the door, not taking a step forward just yet, afraid to breach too close and push Marco away. “I wanted to check on you.” He cautioned before lifting the cake and cider up. “And see if you’re feeling alright. Last night was kind of heavy. And yeah, do you want this?” His eyes gestured to the cake and then back to Marco’s gaze.

“Yeah..It was..” Marco half-smiled back at Danny, taking into account that him coming up here to his room meant he was really worried for him. It was only when he transitioned into the elephant in the room, that cake that was Marco’s favorite, did the former athlete prop up (so to speak) and turned that half smile into a full one. “Ya bet I do!” He took both from Danny, walking past his ex, and setting the cider down on his computer desk. He wasted no time and took a bite out of the cake and it was as scrumptious as it smelled.

And then he took another bite, washing it down with a quarter of the cider. In all of one minute, Danny had to bear witness to the sight of Marco chowing down and not sparing any shameless noises in the process. When his mouth was free of crumbly cake, Marco let out a low belch that he had mostly covered up with his wrist, and looked up at his ex. “Sorry..It’s just this is my favorite cake. Not every day that I get to eat a slice. Well, other than my birthday and random days when Ma feels like spoiling me.” Marco knew she knew something was up. Apple Cake was his top comfort food. Somehow he knew she suspected he wasn’t as great as he was letting on. “But, uh…” Marco’s train of thought went somewhere non-audible as he met his ex in his gaze, “I’m doing..better. Got to see Roddy and Rylie today. We had a couple sandwiches and spent some time together. So that was fun.”

“Mm, that’s great.” Danny stood at his post, processing everything he’s been through today, from the baptism to the aftershow at his father’s house. “And I know. I know it’s your favorite cake. That’s all you ever wanted when we were…” He stopped himself, feeling the guilt returning, from when he was embracing his twin twenty minutes ago. “Your mom really knows how to bake.” He beamed at his ex, clearly diverting from his original train of thought. That was Danny’s main coping mechanism. Changing his thought process. Fast. Marco knew it well.

“Yeah, she really does.” Marco took a small bite, looking mostly down at his plate. Part of him, deep in the back of his mind, almost wanted Danny to finish his first thought. Or just something even remotely close to what he knew he was going to say. He didn’t have it in him right now to say it out loud. He made a gesture to look at Danny, seeing some little changes in how he stood. He didn’t know if it was the lingering effects of last night like it had been for him or if it was something else. He wanted to say something. Almost like he felt like he had to. “How are you doing?”

“No. You’re not going to do this.” Stepping forward, deeper into Marco’s room, still cautiously, but with determination, Danny countered his question, “How are you doing? Enough about me, Marco.”

“Not doing what?” He answered back, watching Danny ever so carefully as he came closer. “Am I not allowed to know how you’re doing?”

“Of course you are, but you’re deflecting. You’re always deflecting. Let’s focus on you. Fuck me, okay?” At this point, Danny was in front of Marco kneeling down so they were staring at each other on the same level. The only son of Taz couldn’t take this coy game anymore. He wanted to know just how much he hurt Marco and he knew his ex was bottling his feelings up, like he usually did. “Tell me how you really feel. Please.”

Well that stung.

Marco, of course, knew that he had the bad habit of using humor putting someone else’s needs over his to avoid talking about what was really bothering him. Danny knew this better than anyone, but he usually was a lot more…careful in how he phrased it, which only made him worry more that there was something wrong with him. Knowing Danny like he did, he also knew that when he was determined enough, he could get Marco to do whatever he wanted even if the latter didn’t want to.

He brought his blue-eyed gaze to Danny and took in a slow breath. “Well right now I feel uncomfortable because I don’t know what you want me to say.” A nervous chuckle came from his mouth.

Danilo closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, and then out, before opening it once more and whispering, “I want you to be honest with me.” Picking himself up, he sat next to Marco at his bedside and continued, “I want you to tell me what is bothering you. It started last night. I know it did, because if it didn’t I would’ve felt it when you stopped me at the Godmother. I just need to know, Marco. I need to know why you wanted me back in your life when I’ve been nothing but a bad thing?” Danny interlocked his fingers and looked down at his feet. He moved his right leg up and down, waiting.

“But that’s not--” He felt himself get choked up. It wasn’t about how he was feeling or what he felt (though thoughts from earlier in the day started to creep back in). “You haven’t been…” His heart was pounding like crazy. This conversation, the way Danny was speaking, how he thought he was a bad thing in his life -- that simply wasn’t true. Marco never thought -- or do I?

The weight of everything: those thoughts that plagued him since last night, memories of a time he never liked to think about, and now Danny being here. Marco tried to find a breathing rhythm, but much like a tsunami crashing against the shore, so did the memories and emotions that were tied to the most painful time in his life. He had to stand up, he had to-- “It’s nothing like that, Danny. It’s not--”

“STOP DEFLECTING!” Danilo turned his body towards Marco to look at him, as he barked those words loudly. He grabbed the plate and fork from Marco’s hands and put it aside, on the nightstand, wanting this conversation to be about them and not the leftover apple cake.

“I’m not…”

He couldn’t even finish that thought because he knew Danny was right. He was always right whenever it came to him. Danny knew Marco better than most did. The only person who knew him better was the one who baked the piece of cake that was out of reach, which made what he couldn’t stop thinking about hurt even more. It hurt the day it happened, when he was laying in that hospital bed. It hurt in the weeks that followed into his recovery and PT. It hurt for over a year. That realization that Marco kept buried under a lock and key that the one person he ever wanted to see during that dark time was forcing him into a corner he didn’t want to be in.

“I promise I’m not trying to purposely deflect. It’s just…” He tried to control his breathing again. His heart was pumping out of control and emotions that he normally had a handle on came through as every inhale and exhale came with a wave of heartbreak and sadness that begged to be released. “I just..” He looked at his ex, eyes watery and puffy from the overwhelming emotions he was currently experiencing. “Why didn’t you ever visit me? I mean, when I was shot and in the hospital. I know a lot was happening around then, but during the entire time I was there after my surgery and I recovered, you never came to visit.” He wanted to reach out to grab his hand, but didn’t. “I just want to know why. You didn’t even have to visit as my--” His voice started to crack, so he coughed and shook his head, “--as my ex. You could have just came as my friend. Everyone who would’ve seen wouldn’t have thought nothing of it. But you never did…” He looked down into his hands and watched them shake and all he could do was smile.

“On prom night, when you saw me with a girl latching onto me. I told you, did you really think you’d have me the whole night?” Danny tightened his grip on himself, his hands grasping onto one another. “Those were the last words I said to you and then all that was left were glances.” The speed in his leg going up and down picked up, as the Italian boy got lost in thought. “I came back from camp to find out.. you, Rye, Natalia, Elisabetta, and Sofia could’ve died. Hell, Sofi was found in the same field as you.”

While his breathing was composed, Danny could feel the build up, the need to cry, to explode, to scream. Standing up, hoping it settled things stirring inside of him, Danny began to anxiously walk around. “I could’ve visited, you’re right. But what would that have accomplished?” He faced Marco once more, his eyes drooping with sadness. “I broke your heart, Marco. And I continue to do so. You and me? We were never meant to be.”

“Don’t say that…” Under the umbrella of his emotions, his voice was quiet and weak, like he was on that day. He was right about how he broke his heart, but he recovered. Everything that happened, no matter sad or, at a low point during that year, angry he got, he always managed to see the brightside to every thought that went through his head. Every day he spent in that bed, during PT, being at home, he always kept trying to see the brightside. He may have lost part of his light when he was told he may not be able to play soccer/football anymore, he always tried to find some glimmer of hope in it all.

It was Danny. As sad and pathetic as it sounds and as much as it didn’t make any sense to anyone but Marco, knowing and having Danny in his life in whatever way made him smile. It gave him some hope to latch onto. And maybe that was why he followed him that day and why he was at the Godmother’s.

“You say it wouldn’t have accomplished anything, but how do you know that for sure?” He balled his fists in his lap, not giving into his emotions. “How do you know a simple visit wouldn’t have done anything? To hell with how many times you broke my heart. I--” He took in a deep inhale and exhale, trying to center himself but it wasn’t working, so Marco threw caution into the wind, -- “You’re right, Danny. I almost DIED! You could have lost me! Hell, a part of me did die when I got shot. Every hope and dream I ever had of going pro went out of the window when Charlie shot me. But you still could have came and visited me as my FRIEND! You could have…” He slammed his balled fists into his lap a couple of times, looking down as he did so.“I..it just felt like I didn’t matter to you anymore. Not until that day at Godmother’s…” Tears dropped into his lap.

“And that’s why…” Back on the bed, Danny grabbed his ex’s fists, holding it in his hands. He leaned in and deeply kissed it, before saying his final piece, “...That’s why I don’t deserve you.” Glancing up at Marco, the best thing he’s ever had in his life, Danny tenderly rested his hand on his beloved’s cheek, “You deserve the world and more. Right now, I’m not that.”

With the closure he needed to hear, Danny leaned in, bringing his face inches away from the confused and angry Marco, resting his forehead against his, “One day, you’ll find the person that gives you everything you deserve and more… I--” He pulled away, inches away, looking intensely into Marco’s eyes, “--I hope one day you find the happiness you deserve, Marco Castillo-Brady. I really did love you and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be.”

And for the first time, in a long time, Danny felt a couple of tears fall down his cheeks. Immediately, rather impulsively, he jerked away, ashamed of his tears. Building distance from his ex, from bed to the exit door, Danny wiped some of the tears away, in hopes to gain his strength back, “I think I should go.”

When Danny pulled away, Marco’s heart felt like it started to break all over again. Every emotion he had been bottling up, every thought that consumed him in every free moment he had in the past year, every aching of the heart that came around when he allowed himself to think even remotely about those dark moments spent in that hospital bed -- all of it came to the surface, unable to be hidden behind a smile or a stuttering speech. Danny being so close to him, so close that Marco almost kissed him and then he pulled away, he leaned forward to grab his ex’s hand, but only found the isolated comfort of his carpet floor. Again, his leg proved to be the crutch that hindered everything in his life that even remotely mattered.

As he kept his eyes down on the ground, overwhelmed with everything, he forced himself to speak. “Don’t do this..Not now, Danny.” As he started to weep, the tears flowing, cracked voice and rapid inhale and exhales, the terror of what was happening had started to sink in. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…I’m sorry for last night--”

“Stop it…” Danny stood in a deadlock. His legs were unable to move closer to the door which was his escape. His escape from the truth. Why… why are you apologizing? “Stop it, please.” Taking a deep gulp in, not aiming to throw sharp words to hurt the wound even deeply, Danny turned to his ex, absolutely devastated, “You’re so fearless. You know that right?”

He wiped his face again, feeling it get more wet by the minute. Shit, was he actually crying? “I need you to let me go, Marco. You have nothing to be sorry about. All you did was talk to me, when I was scared shitless to even look at you.” Clenching his teeth, feeling the ache deeper than he thought it could go, he begged, “You need to let me go so I can be a better man.”

Somewhere deep down, past all of the hurt and anguish, Marco knew his ex was right. He knew everything that Danny had said since he asked the question he had been dying to know the answer to was absolutely correct. Maybe he didn’t want to accept it and even as he was on the floor, he didn’t want this to be, part of him knew Danny was right. Even still, he didn’t want to accept it. He couldn’t accept it because not having Danny in his life, regardless what form their relationship took at any given moment, was something far worse than anything Charlie Decker ever did to him. No amount of his career aspirations, loss of his former athletic self, or the constant joy he oozed prior to the shooting -- none of it compared to being without Danny Belmonte in his life.

“I’m not fearless. You might think that because it’s who you saw, but I’m not. And If I am it’s because you gave me the strength to…” Marco’s voice was weak and still ridden with emotion, but he still managed to speak only through a strength that Danny gave him. “I’m not like Emil or Marcy. They have the strength to be their unapologetic selves, meanwhile their older brother can barely even get around the town. Everyone takes pity of me because of my leg. You never did. Since Godmother, even if it was only a short time, I haven’t been this happy in a really long time.”

Tears kept flowing down Marco’s face and he tried to find the high road in this, tried to find the brightside to this like he always did for every situation. Whether it was with Roddy and Rylie leaving or being there for Jill or even the shooting. He always saw brightsides and the light at the end of the tunnel in every situation. But this time, all Marco saw was darkness. There was no hope at the end of this tunnel he and Danny were in because this was the end of it.

“I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want to be the reason you can’t be at your best. I…love you so much, Danny. I love you so much it hurts and I’m not sure who I am without you…”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Danilo internalized the curse word his mother would be completely ashamed of. Tonight wasn’t the best for keeping a clean mouth. He wasn’t raised to use curse words by default and yet, all he could think of was the word ‘fuck’. Shyly, and like an equally lost deer, Danny tried to speak completely and utterly from the heart. No false pretense. “Do you…” He hesitated asking the question in his mind because he knew it would be a hard route for them to go together. His father was old fashioned and ever since his mother was bed ridden it was like walking on a field of landmines.

“Do you think we c-could do it together? I-I don’t know what I’m doing.” It hit him like a truck and he placed his hand on his chest. He was terrified of the consequences of dating a guy but saying goodbye for good? To the person that made him better? That was scarier than his father. Danny felt like he was losing a piece of himself. A half of him. He no longer had purpose. He gave up on basketball and now all he did was take care of his family. Like clockwork, he worked at Palermo, went to family events, and did what everyone told him to do. He was a good son. He did what he was supposed to do. He was a good son.

Covering his face, finally the tears falling uncontrollably, Danny dropped to his knees. Why wasn’t he good enough? Why couldn’t he be what other’s needed? Why did he hurt people? Jill. Natalia. Marco. His dad. He wasn’t good. He would never be good. “My mom is dying and I feel like I’m losing myself more and more each day.”

He wasn’t sure what had just happened. Just a moment ago, as much as it was hurting him, Marco had mentally forced himself to prepare for a life without Danny because he said he needed it. But now…there was something vastly different in the air. He found himself crawling closer to Danny, not thinking about anything else that didn’t involve comforting Danny. He did that as he took Danny into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping as tightly around the boy he has loved for years.

“You won’t lose me,” Marco whispered as he just held Danny close. “I’m so sorry about your mom and I wish I could make that pain go away, but listen to me, Danny…” Marco lifted Danny’s chin, looking into his eyes. “If you ever feel like you are losing any part of yourself, lean on me just as I have leaned on you. We’ll be each other’s rock, okay?” Marco rested his forehead against Danny’s, tears flowing down his face.

This was happening. He was embracing the monster inside of himself his father may never accept. After hearing Vivia’s display and getting Natalia’s comfort, after all these years, Danny realized he couldn’t do this alone. He needed someone and his someone was right here, in his arms.

Running one of his hands through his ex’s hair and the other pulling him close, Danny apologized for all the wrong he’s ever done to him, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t have enough courage to keep you at my side. To see you. To be with you.” He pulled slightly away so he could look into Marco’s eyes, gorgeous blue eyes, his everything, “I wanted to protect you… I still will. I promise you, from now on, no matter the highs and lows, I’m yours and I’ll fight for you. I will become the man you deserve. I- I need you, Marco. I missed you so fucking much.”

Marco smiled at Danny, he smiled at the love of his life. He wasn’t sure what he’d need protecting from, but that didn’t matter. Whatever came their way, at least Marco knew he wouldn’t do it alone. “You always were. I knew it then and I know it now. You’ve always been the one for me, Danilo Belmonte.” He returned Danny’s gaze, locking onto those green eyes that always filled him with a joy and security that nothing or nobody could ever match or rival. “You will always have me.”

Losing all self-control, Danny let the ever-bright flame burning inside of him pull Marco in and passionately, sincerely, kiss him in the moment, letting their chemistry do the talking. Holding Marco in a tight, desperate embrace he found himself bringing him to the floor. Hovering over him, Danny prayed this wasn’t the worst mistake he could make. He wanted, no, he needed Marco and he was tired of pretending. His body wanted him and even if he never found all the pieces to make him complete, and he stood shattered because of his family, he could say, “I have you and my heart is yours to break… I love you.” From this point on his primal desire took control, as he slipped his hand inside his lover’s Spider-Man pajama pants.
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