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- Ammokkx 9 yrs ago
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1 yr ago
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new FFXIV EX fight sucks ass.
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1 yr ago
There's a difference between the ability to be social, and the desire to be social. I function perfectly fine going outside and talking to people, but that doesn't mean I *like* doing either.
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1 yr ago
...dad?
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2 yrs ago
Pepsi and Milk, also known as an affront to everything good in this world. And my tastebuds.
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2 yrs ago
Pilk seems to be trending, so I tried it. Anyone who tells me this is a good drink is no longer a person I wish to associate with.
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Bio
The day that Moss was hanged, eight others were cut down,
And when the graves had all been dug, the queen rode out of town.
And when the graves had all been dug, the queen rode out of town.
(I have a badly written 1x1 check if you want to know what kind of person I am.)
Most Recent Posts
On another topic what moment in a video game made you cry? For me it was pretty much all of Dragon Quest 11 the feelz were 4 reelz.
I can only remember crying once in a videogame and it was the end of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Darkness when I was, like, 11.
I'm normally not one to advocate for closing threads but, to repurpose Odin's post for a bit
really feels like this is where we're at right now.
Most of the insights were given in the first four pages and everything else has been Reborn fallout. I'd say this has well and truly ran its course because no amount of re-railing is going to get this into anywhere near a proper state, especially not when this thread was made in the wake of a status bar rant to begin with.
really feels like this is where we're at right now.
Most of the insights were given in the first four pages and everything else has been Reborn fallout. I'd say this has well and truly ran its course because no amount of re-railing is going to get this into anywhere near a proper state, especially not when this thread was made in the wake of a status bar rant to begin with.
oh my god
I feel no one does listen to me and is against me for not being positive or even having a different experience. I disagree with your words Ammo at least here as I feel like I need to be on the defensive and guarded or lash out because i feel like no one understands me or even gets what i feel as i feel people are trying to invalidate what I experienced and feel.
This. Is. The. Same. Thing. You've. Said. Since. The. Start. Of. This. Thread.
Nobody, NOBODY invalidates what you feel. But we're telling you to stop using that as some kind of shield.
You are the proud owner of the single most posts in this thread (or at least a close second to Bango Bongo Banjo) and they ALL say the same thing.
No, actually, it's worse than that. When people tell you to use aesthetics, even just basic formatting touch-ups, you blow them off. When people say you need to think about your approach, you say you don't need to change at all. When you're told even staff on a different site had a problem with you, you blow them off as not understanding you... when, now, even a mod on this site felt the situation had escalated to the point they needed to give you a formal warning.
But you know the post that really grinds my gears? I have Autism, guys. Yeah, guess what? You're clearly high-functioning enough to have conversations with other people. You know who else has that strain?
Me. I have looping thought patterns and concentration problems as well as over-analyzing into the tiniest detail what people say and do.
Have you, in this entire thread, in my entire time on the forum, known me to use my different mental state to excuse my behaviour? No. Because unlike what you seem to exude, I have at least the bare minimum amount of maturity needed to see that fault is a two-way street. That for as much as I'd like to blame others, I am always, partially, to blame for everything that happens. Sometimes? Sometimes, it's even wholly to blame.
And you know what else, Reborn? Yes, you feel things. I feel things too. I feel anger, frustration, I want to lash out to those who have wronged me. Sometimes, I even do. It lends me some good catharsis if I'm fed up to high hell. But I am never, ever in the right for doing so. It is wrong to blame others for your shortcomings. It is wrong to superimpose what you feel onto another person.
You claim we do not understand you. This is by all measures and purposes false. We understand how you feel. In lesser or greater quantities, each one of us has gone through what you've gone through. In fact, here's a quote from my own little essay on your for your viewing pleasure:
Let me tell you, I was 13 at a time. 13 year old Ammokkx was on Tumblr, hosting an RP blog. Tumblr RPs are 1x1. I had a bunch of partners and, yes, I did get ghosted. It felt like I was being ignored. I tried so desperately hard to get people's attention but it seemed like nobody wanted to RP with me. At the time, I didn't understand why.
But in retrospect, I saw that I was insufferable to those around me. I powergame'd. My OC's were mary sues. I was a huge dick to people. I'm amazed I still have friends from that era at all, but the long and short is that I was very much the cause of my own downfall... in hindsight. I didn't see it at the time, and you do not seem to see it now. I understand how you feel, Reborn. Everyone understands how you feel. Feel free to not believe us if you like. But know this; It is because we know how you feel that we are giving this advice in the hope that those feelings push you to be better than you are. Even if many have given up hope to that end.
This, right here, is me very blatantly telling you that I get it. That I have had the EXACT experience you describe, and yet you still dare claim I do not understand how you feel? Like i don't get "your side"?
No, Reborn. It is you who doesn't understand. I am sorry to say it, but you are downright delusional if you still refuse to recognize your own faults when so many people have pointed you to them.
In
TOP 10 GREATEST RP FAILURES NOT CLICKBAIT YOU WON’T BELIEVE THESE TRUE STORIES 😱😱😱
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4 yrs ago
Forum: Roleplaying Discussion
Hot damn this thread is tricky
I have mountains of RP failure stories to tell from the perspective of a player, a GM and of a co-GM
But so many of them involve drama on some level and while I do love me some dirty laundry, I at least make a token effort to not air it out.
I guess my most innocent example would be Re:Unison. A cool RP idea about people who use their super-powered partner to fight rogue monsters and each-other. I found early success, my players were cool, TREE WAS THERE, and generally it looked to be on the up and up.
So how did I fuck it up?
So my first mistake was not seeing the trees for the forest. I had a midgame, I had an endgame. The whole seven yards... except I conveniently forgot to plan out the starting line. You can really tell I was scrambling together an opening to get the characters settled at that point. Second, the scenario I had come up with was super restrictive. I, as a GM, was kicking myself because I felt like I was funneling my players in one specific direction which was no bueno. Third, there was some very clear instant regret over one of the characters I had accepted. Not going into detail on that one.
There was also the fact that it only took about a week 1,5 from me coming up with it out of the blue to me posting the thread itself. I rushed the production of Re:Unison way too hard, got too impatient. It's also at a time where I felt like I had to GM something to... prove my worth, I guess? There was also a bit of drama with a friend of mine who wanted to join, but who I wouldn't allow because it'd create drama with another player I already had. Issues upon issues compounded and eventually I decided to pull the plug on R:U before it ever got a chance to truly keep going.
I am still super sorry to all my players for that one, as the RP's downfall is 100% on me. It wouldn't shield me from fucking up my next GM attempt, but at the very least I didn't repeat the mistakes of R:U.
Nah, I just made a bunch of new ones instead :-)
I have mountains of RP failure stories to tell from the perspective of a player, a GM and of a co-GM
But so many of them involve drama on some level and while I do love me some dirty laundry, I at least make a token effort to not air it out.
I guess my most innocent example would be Re:Unison. A cool RP idea about people who use their super-powered partner to fight rogue monsters and each-other. I found early success, my players were cool, TREE WAS THERE, and generally it looked to be on the up and up.
So how did I fuck it up?
So my first mistake was not seeing the trees for the forest. I had a midgame, I had an endgame. The whole seven yards... except I conveniently forgot to plan out the starting line. You can really tell I was scrambling together an opening to get the characters settled at that point. Second, the scenario I had come up with was super restrictive. I, as a GM, was kicking myself because I felt like I was funneling my players in one specific direction which was no bueno. Third, there was some very clear instant regret over one of the characters I had accepted. Not going into detail on that one.
There was also the fact that it only took about a week 1,5 from me coming up with it out of the blue to me posting the thread itself. I rushed the production of Re:Unison way too hard, got too impatient. It's also at a time where I felt like I had to GM something to... prove my worth, I guess? There was also a bit of drama with a friend of mine who wanted to join, but who I wouldn't allow because it'd create drama with another player I already had. Issues upon issues compounded and eventually I decided to pull the plug on R:U before it ever got a chance to truly keep going.
I am still super sorry to all my players for that one, as the RP's downfall is 100% on me. It wouldn't shield me from fucking up my next GM attempt, but at the very least I didn't repeat the mistakes of R:U.
Nah, I just made a bunch of new ones instead :-)
This is why I only gave it the one long attempt, people. You cannot get through to him. Even when you've gone through the same or similar, he won't listen.
someone post already
I already threw in the towel. Please, no more.
Just wanted to chime in and ask if anyone else has a good ass answer for
"what does success mean for me as a GM/RPer"
At some point I want to edit in a few of the answers for that to the OP.
Are you telling me my answer wasn't quote-worthy? Bango... how could you do this to me?
Success as a GM is getting players to post, like, at all. That's a serious answer, if you need it. The GM's job, in my mind, is to make a fun adventure for the players. I struggle with this concept, like, a lot. As long as people are posting, or at the very least want to post, I am doing my job right. If they do not want to engage with the story, I have done something wrong and need to change my approach.
Well at least you deigned to grace me with a rebuttal this time so I can actually have a conversation with you on your viewpoints. That being said, I tire of this just as much as you do. I'm going to go as in-depth as I can with this post as to why your way of thinking is flawed. If, after this post, you still remain unconvinced, then there is nothing me or anyone else is ever going to be able to do to you to help you. You might as well never ask for help or complain about anything ever again at that point, because nothing anyone can say to you will allow you to step over the hurdles you face. Also, I don't want to get this any more off-topic than I have.
You know what? You're right. I am aggressive and off-putting. And, in the status bar, I was especially set on slamming some good dunks as I shitpost on that thing more than I do actually talk to people. But over here, each of my posts have had advice and critique not hidden beneath a veneer of snark. If you cannot take them as efforts to help you, then my words have no way to reach you to begin with. Even my "Then you have no reason to be in this thread" is an honest statement. As others have said, you are not acting like someone who wants help. You come across as wanting people to wallow in your pity. Again, I don't say this because I dislike you, I say this because it is what your words look like to other people. Make of it what you feel like making of it.
What it "feels" like to you isn't what it is. Death of the author may be a thing, but you're the only one that seems to share in the sentiment. No, I do understand your viewpoint. I may not be able to relate to a bunch of 1x1 posters ghosting me, of course, due to my penchant for group RPs... or can I?
Let me tell you, I was 13 at a time. 13 year old Ammokkx was on Tumblr, hosting an RP blog. Tumblr RPs are 1x1. I had a bunch of partners and, yes, I did get ghosted. It felt like I was being ignored. I tried so desperately hard to get people's attention but it seemed like nobody wanted to RP with me. At the time, I didn't understand why.
But in retrospect, I saw that I was insufferable to those around me. I powergame'd. My OC's were mary sues. I was a huge dick to people. I'm amazed I still have friends from that era at all, but the long and short is that I was very much the cause of my own downfall... in hindsight. I didn't see it at the time, and you do not seem to see it now. I understand how you feel, Reborn. Everyone understands how you feel. Feel free to not believe us if you like. But know this; It is because we know how you feel that we are giving this advice in the hope that those feelings push you to be better than you are. Even if many have given up hope to that end.
This is a problem that you're far from the only person who faces it. In fact, if you ask around, I'm sure you can find some people with 1x1 blacklists of notorious ghosters. Hell, I have a semi-official blacklist for group RPers with a penchant for ghosting. Those people do exist, but if you cannot hold a single RP? If you cannot retain a single friend? Please, Reborn. Please tell me you don't genuinely believe that there must not at least be the tiniest thing wrong with your approach if everyone treats you the same way. If you can only draw that crowd. I refuse to believe you are this blind to a simple matter of fact.
There's a crude idiom for this that rings true nevertheless. "If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check underneath your soles."
The reason it feels this way is because the thing you are complaining about, the very thing that sparked this thread, is something I have called you out on in the past. You keep complaining about the same thing, and people keep telling you the same things. You then proceed to ignore what everyone tells you and do the thing you were previously doing, all the while complaining about the same subject again. You know the quote from Farcry 3? "Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results" and all that? I feel it applies here. It is only a mob mentality because we have done this same song and dance time and again. If you go back and read your old threads, people were kind to you when you first asked. Even when you asked again, a third time, even in the post I called you out on! But then you keep doing it again, and again, and again.
At some point, we grew sick of hearing the same story. If you have nothing new to say, if you have no other insights... then, quite frankly, none of us want to hear it. I'm sorry. If you consider this to be mobbing, then the mob is never going to end. You choose to keep bringing this up, so we push back.
I do know. I really do. While not the exact same, I have trouble retaining interests in my RPs. People just don't want to post after a while when I GM. I am desperately looking for the source of the issue, even when I can't find anything I am doing wrong. It is an ongoing struggle and it is a flaw I am all too aware of. It is why I have an aversion to GMing, it sucks! But I don't blame other people for it, you know? I don't turn it into a "me vs. them" issue. I never blame my players for losing interest, I look inside of myself and think "What could I have done better in hindsight? How could I apply this to my next idea going forward?"
I take huge breaks in between GMing for this very reason. It is, quite frankly, not fun to have something crash and burn, nor is it fun to have something which was once so lively be on life support at the end of its days. But I always had a part to play in that. You do too.
But have you truly applied the advice? When we ask you to add colour or image, you reject it vehemently. When we say you aren't too pleasant of a person to talk to, you disagree and deny it. To me, at least, it doesn't look like you're actually applying any advice at all. But you don't have to take my word for it. Ask one of the nicer people to coach you, to run through the motions with you. But you have to understand that you will have to make changes to the way you do things. If they tell you "do this" then you do it, no questions asked. You don't push back. You don't fight it. The moment you fight it, you prove that you don't want to be helped.
I will not claim to know things better than you. But there are people that can claim as such. Listen to them. Listen. Don't argue.
No, Reborn. We hear your voice. We understand your side. You have made it loud and clear. But nobody agrees with your perspective and we're not going to start any time soon. What we see out of you, the vast majority of us, runs counter to the narrative you try to spin. At that point you need to ask; if everyone in the world is crazy except for the one sane man, is the one sane man truly sane? In that same respect, if literally everybody tells you the opposite of what you tell yourself, is your perspective truly the right one? My answer, as you can guess, is no. Yours should be no too, but it is up to you to recognize that.
That's it. That's my final post for this thread, or at least, on the subject of your personal failures. Do with it as you wish. If you don't want to listen to what I have to say, then I have nothing I can say to you.
@Ammokkx
It didn't feel like you were "genuine" on that help attempt
You know what? You're right. I am aggressive and off-putting. And, in the status bar, I was especially set on slamming some good dunks as I shitpost on that thing more than I do actually talk to people. But over here, each of my posts have had advice and critique not hidden beneath a veneer of snark. If you cannot take them as efforts to help you, then my words have no way to reach you to begin with. Even my "Then you have no reason to be in this thread" is an honest statement. As others have said, you are not acting like someone who wants help. You come across as wanting people to wallow in your pity. Again, I don't say this because I dislike you, I say this because it is what your words look like to other people. Make of it what you feel like making of it.
@Ammokkx
it sure felt like a attack on me and my stance on things from my viewpoint as you came off to me like anyone else, they didn't understand my viewpoint and came off rather rudely.
What it "feels" like to you isn't what it is. Death of the author may be a thing, but you're the only one that seems to share in the sentiment. No, I do understand your viewpoint. I may not be able to relate to a bunch of 1x1 posters ghosting me, of course, due to my penchant for group RPs... or can I?
Let me tell you, I was 13 at a time. 13 year old Ammokkx was on Tumblr, hosting an RP blog. Tumblr RPs are 1x1. I had a bunch of partners and, yes, I did get ghosted. It felt like I was being ignored. I tried so desperately hard to get people's attention but it seemed like nobody wanted to RP with me. At the time, I didn't understand why.
But in retrospect, I saw that I was insufferable to those around me. I powergame'd. My OC's were mary sues. I was a huge dick to people. I'm amazed I still have friends from that era at all, but the long and short is that I was very much the cause of my own downfall... in hindsight. I didn't see it at the time, and you do not seem to see it now. I understand how you feel, Reborn. Everyone understands how you feel. Feel free to not believe us if you like. But know this; It is because we know how you feel that we are giving this advice in the hope that those feelings push you to be better than you are. Even if many have given up hope to that end.
I feel it is more of my partners than myself because of them always ghosting and poofing off on me without any sort of warning or heads up whatsoever.
This is a problem that you're far from the only person who faces it. In fact, if you ask around, I'm sure you can find some people with 1x1 blacklists of notorious ghosters. Hell, I have a semi-official blacklist for group RPers with a penchant for ghosting. Those people do exist, but if you cannot hold a single RP? If you cannot retain a single friend? Please, Reborn. Please tell me you don't genuinely believe that there must not at least be the tiniest thing wrong with your approach if everyone treats you the same way. If you can only draw that crowd. I refuse to believe you are this blind to a simple matter of fact.
There's a crude idiom for this that rings true nevertheless. "If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check underneath your soles."
I do feel like a target whenever I speak up on something that frustrates me as I expect I have to defend myself against a mob mentality and I got to fight against everyone else just to feel like I am getting through to people or even understood.
The reason it feels this way is because the thing you are complaining about, the very thing that sparked this thread, is something I have called you out on in the past. You keep complaining about the same thing, and people keep telling you the same things. You then proceed to ignore what everyone tells you and do the thing you were previously doing, all the while complaining about the same subject again. You know the quote from Farcry 3? "Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results" and all that? I feel it applies here. It is only a mob mentality because we have done this same song and dance time and again. If you go back and read your old threads, people were kind to you when you first asked. Even when you asked again, a third time, even in the post I called you out on! But then you keep doing it again, and again, and again.
At some point, we grew sick of hearing the same story. If you have nothing new to say, if you have no other insights... then, quite frankly, none of us want to hear it. I'm sorry. If you consider this to be mobbing, then the mob is never going to end. You choose to keep bringing this up, so we push back.
I don't see how what I am doing is wrong in retrospect when I look at it, I am doing my hardest to even get interest and any advice hasn't worked or stuck as effective or long as I expect you know?
I do know. I really do. While not the exact same, I have trouble retaining interests in my RPs. People just don't want to post after a while when I GM. I am desperately looking for the source of the issue, even when I can't find anything I am doing wrong. It is an ongoing struggle and it is a flaw I am all too aware of. It is why I have an aversion to GMing, it sucks! But I don't blame other people for it, you know? I don't turn it into a "me vs. them" issue. I never blame my players for losing interest, I look inside of myself and think "What could I have done better in hindsight? How could I apply this to my next idea going forward?"
I take huge breaks in between GMing for this very reason. It is, quite frankly, not fun to have something crash and burn, nor is it fun to have something which was once so lively be on life support at the end of its days. But I always had a part to play in that. You do too.
I feel like this “olive branch” could be like those other times and just filled with empty promises of things getting better for me when my luck and experience has shown me completely different. Like how am I supposed to trust the advice when the advice before failed?
But have you truly applied the advice? When we ask you to add colour or image, you reject it vehemently. When we say you aren't too pleasant of a person to talk to, you disagree and deny it. To me, at least, it doesn't look like you're actually applying any advice at all. But you don't have to take my word for it. Ask one of the nicer people to coach you, to run through the motions with you. But you have to understand that you will have to make changes to the way you do things. If they tell you "do this" then you do it, no questions asked. You don't push back. You don't fight it. The moment you fight it, you prove that you don't want to be helped.
I will not claim to know things better than you. But there are people that can claim as such. Listen to them. Listen. Don't argue.
It's like I always have to fight for my voice and side to be even remotely heard I feel most times.
No, Reborn. We hear your voice. We understand your side. You have made it loud and clear. But nobody agrees with your perspective and we're not going to start any time soon. What we see out of you, the vast majority of us, runs counter to the narrative you try to spin. At that point you need to ask; if everyone in the world is crazy except for the one sane man, is the one sane man truly sane? In that same respect, if literally everybody tells you the opposite of what you tell yourself, is your perspective truly the right one? My answer, as you can guess, is no. Yours should be no too, but it is up to you to recognize that.
That's it. That's my final post for this thread, or at least, on the subject of your personal failures. Do with it as you wish. If you don't want to listen to what I have to say, then I have nothing I can say to you.
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