Breathe...
...breathe in the air...
...don't be afraid to care...
Leave...
...but don't leave me...
Look around...
...and choose your own ground...
For long you live...
...and high you fly...
...the smiles you'll give...
...and tears you'll cry...
...all you touch...
...and all you see...
...is all your life will ever be...
"Ahhhh," The Joker let out a long, satisfied sigh, stretching as he stepped out into the main corridor of the super-max wing of Arkham Asylum,
"that first breath of fresh air after being cooped up for so long really is the best, don't you agree?""I'm gonna fucking kill you, clown.""What's that?""....nothing."The Joker rolled his eyes.
"Oh, loosen up, will you? We won't be spending much time together, so let's try to enjoy it while it lasts."Captain Mia Jackson was a ten-year veteran in the super-max wing, and took great pride in her job. She'd seen her way through the some of the most horrific incidents the hospital had ever seen-- the breakouts, the riots, the madness, time and time again. Some people lost their nerve over time, let this place get to them. Mia, though, only grew sharper every time. Nothing could get to her.
Or so she'd thought.
She followed two steps behind the Joker, trembling with impotent rage as he took his sweet time strolling through the open. There were hundreds of sets of eyes on him, both real and electronic, and this wing of Arkham was equipped with at least a dozen different security systems-- both lethal and less-than-- which would render the clown helpless with the press of a button. A button that, sadly, wasn't going to be pressed.
Mia didn't know how he had found out about her daughters. She didn't know what he was going to do to them if she didn't comply. But she knew
exactly what she was going to do to him the second this was over.
"You know, I was really hoping some more of the usual suspects would be here today," he remarked, his insufferable yellow-toothed smile tinged with a hint of sadness.
"No Harvey today, no Eddie, no Cobblepot. I do love rubbing it in their faces whenever I get out before them. Hope you don't mind me saying, Cap'n, but the security in this place is lousy, lousy looowwww-zeeeee!"Jackson gripped her pistol, but controlled herself. If she let her temper get to her, Kylie and Maddie would suffer for it. All she had to do was put up with this creep long enough to get to the end of the hallway.
"Ahem," a thin, quavery voice piped up from behind several layers of bulletproof glass,
"I hope you didn't mean to overlook me, as I'm still very much here."The Joker's eyes lit up.
"Johnny!" he exclaimed.
"Good old Doctor Johnny Crane, my second-favorite former psychiatrist! How've ya been? Loved your work on the children's hospital last year, by the way.""Oh, that was...quite a lovely evening," Dr. Jonathan Crane mused to himself, a grin crawling across his face as he stared off into the distance.
"Shame it was cut so short, but I suppose one must expect such complications when the Bat-Man is about.""Ohhh-hohohooo, don't even get me started," the clown chuckled as he leaned against the glass of Crane's cell.
"If you're looking to swap bat stories, I've got a million of 'em.""Hey, wait, no," Mia asserted herself into the conversation,
"Nothing in your deal ever said anything about springing the Scarecrow!""Oh, I was just talking shop with a fellow artiste," Joker put his hands up innocently.
"Buuuut since you suggested it...."Crane put up a hand to signal a stop in that line of thinking.
"I appreciate the offer," he said,
"But I'm afraid I have to decline. I have ideas of my own.""Suit yourself," the clown shrugged.
"I'll be out and about for a while, but do keep in touch. I'm looking forward to seeing what you've got in mind.""You really don't want to know I've got in my mind, Joker.""HA! I'll bet," he laughed, then continued to stroll, glancing back at Captain Jackson over his shoulder.
"You know, I don't think Scarecrow gets enough appreciation these days. Poor guy always gets lost in the shuffle. I suppose I'm partially to blame, since I've already cornered the market on 'skinny pale guy with gimmicky poison gas.' But it's more than that, it's--ah! Here we are!"Joker and Mia stopped at one of the junctions between cell blocks, where a pair of metal panels had been bent slightly. Given how much damage this building had taken over the years, some bent sheet metal was so low on the staff's priorities that it barely registered.
"What the hell are you doing, Joker?" Mia asked as she gripped her pistol even tighter, fighting every urge to draw on the monster in front of her and empty the clip as he pried back the thin sheet metal.
"Just picking up a party favor," he answered, rooting around a knot of wires.
"When you've been in the game as long as I have, you tend to pick up knick-knacks from all sorts of people. In here, I've got a little gizmo from the Calculator, to shut down any security features in the Asylum that I want without setting off any of the alarms. Can't hack into the systems remotely, since they're on a closed server. Has to be hard-wired into the system itself. Calculator's a real poindexter, but he knows his stuff, I'll give him that.""How long have you had that thing here without us knowing?""This one?" he replied as he dug deeper into the wiring.
"I'd say about, oh, three years or so.""What do you mean 'that one'?" she demanded.
"You mean you've got more than one--""Oh I've got more than twenty of them," he laughed.
"I've got little stashes like this all over the asylum. Makes it so much easier to slip about."Mia stared at him in disbelief as she heard a hard
click from inside the wall. The Joker, now shoulder-deep into the electricals, smiled wide.
"There we go!" he beamed, satisfied with himself.
"Just need about ten more seconds and we'll have the whole place to ours--""F-f-freeze!""Of course...."Mia wheeled around to see a fresh-faced young man, pistol drawn, a confused and terrified look on his face.
"Clancy, right?" Mia asked carefully, trying to keep one eye on the murderous clown while she talked down one of her fellow guards.
"You're new here. This...this isn't what it looks like.""Are you kidding? Th--that's....that's the Joker!" he stammered.
"Wh-why are you--""It's...complicated," she answered, her face burning with anger and shame.
"I--....I'm afraid I've g-g-gotta call this in," Clancy sputtered, reaching for the walkie-talkie.
"All units, c-c-code red! I repeat, CODE RED! This is not a--"The right side of Clancy's face burst open, a spray of blood and gray matter spattering the wall and floor as he fell backwards.
Captain Mia Jackson stared in horror at her pistol, its barrel smoking in her trembling hands.
Seconds later, sirens began to blare, emergency lights flashing as the alert went out throughout the asylum.
Neither of them moved. Mia couldn't bring herself to run from what she'd done. And the Joker was in no hurry now.
"Yow-wee, what a shot!" the clown congratulated her.
"Remind me not to be on the business end of that thing any time soon, ha-ha!""Clancy....he was brand new...." Mia looked back and forth between the new guard's corpse and the gun in her hand.
"Just transferred to Arkham a week ago....from Belle Reve. He was...he was still trying to make friends....brought everyone cupcakes on his first day.""Sounds like a nice guy," the Joker said to himself.
"At least it was over quick, right? Never knew what hit him. Didn't linger, didn't suffer, just bang, lights out, that's it."Mia nodded numbly.
"At least, that's what everyone says," he continued,
"but I wonder. I mean, most of his brain is still intact. Unless you manage to vaporize someone completely, I doubt the whole thing just shuts off the instant the gray matter becomes a gray splatter. Those last few neurons, how long do they stay on before fading to black?"As if on cue, Clancy's body spasmed in a final reflex.
"See what I mean?" Joker gestured with his free hand,
"Bits and pieces of his nervous system are still crying out, wondering what the hell just happened and where the rest of him went off to! Sure, maybe the higher functions of data processing and decision making that we think of as our 'mind' is the first thing to go, but those reflexes, those instincts, those little pockets of memory and emotion. They have that extra little moment of confusion, terror, and pain."A wave of nausea washed over Mia, and she dropped to her knees.
"Of course, that 'extra little moment' is only 'little' to us," the clown kept going.
"They say your perception of time slows down as you lose consciousness. So while it may have only been a split-second in real time, those last little bits of Clancy there probably felt that panic and agony for, who knows? Minutes, hours, days, maybe? He's long gone now in real time, but as far as we know, that final horror could have stretched out into eternity for him."Mia's gun clattered on the ground at her side.
The tromp of boots signaled the coming of more heavily-armed guards.
In response, the whirring of electric motors and hiss of pneumatic pistons told the tale of dozens of cell doors opening, all over the asylum.
"It's pretty awful, when you think about it," he said, more to himself than to the captain, who didn't even notice as he picked the pistol up and pulled back the hammer.
Around them, Arkham Asylum erupted into a war zone.
"Which is why I usually don't think about it at all."
Run....
...rabbit...
...run...
Dig that hole...
...forget the sun...
And when, at last...
...the work...
...is done...
Don't sit down...
....it's time to dig...
...another one...
For long you live...
...and high you fly...
...but only if you ride the tide...
And balanced on...
...the biggest wave...
...you race towards an early grave.