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7 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
8 yrs ago
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8 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
8 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
5 likes
9 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
6 likes

Bio

Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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Penny was going to miss. She never missed. Sigil glowing, her finger course corrected as Mariah lifted Isla out of the pool. However, she had to snap her hand back as she felt her weight begin to shift. Any further and she would’ve thrown herself into the pool, and frankly Penny didn’t put as much value into a good booping as other people rightfully did. Yet she still felt the disappointment. She adjusted her sun hat as she stood back up, readied a mock scowl to throw at laundry day cowpoke who’d “saved” Isla that immediately broke as the Scotswoman started rambling.

Penny was trying to find a way to get a word edgewise when all of their attention was drawn to the shouting at the other end of the pool. Some girl in a headscarf was yelling and gesturing wildly between Kimberly and Jordan’s cousin. Madison, right? Penny raised eyebrows graduated into a single laugh as she saw the tired look on Kimberly’s face. She gave her friend an unhelpful thumbs-up. It was becoming a trend where each time they offered to help someone they got yelled at instead. At least Kimberly wasn’t getting threatened with a gun. The shouting girl began to back down, but Penny kept an eye out just in case things turned ugly. She wouldn’t let Kimberly stew in witch drama if she didn’t think Kimberly couldn’t manage it.

"Or you? Who're you? What--" said Mariah. "--y'all ain't just secret members of the coven I ain't met or somethin', right?"

“I’m Pen—”

Isla, quick as ever with her tongue, beat Penny to her own introduction, “She’s Penny. Definitely ain’t a coven secret member, she’s way too competent for that, no offence to like everyone here.”

“Yeah I’m beginning to get that impression,” said a distracted Penny, her narrowed eyes relaxing as the situation at the other end of the pool seemed to diffuse itself as other members of the Coven came forward to put a stop to the drama. She shook her head and focused her attention on the two in front of her. “Anyway, yep, I just can’t get enough of this supernatural shit. Helping a friend hunt down a man eating monster in return for her helping me investigate a doomsday prophecy. You know.” She shrugged. “The usual.”

Penny’s eyes drifted over to Mariah as she spoke. Momentary confusion over her bizarre wardrobe faded as she smiled and gave a head nod up, “Thanks for saving my friend from the pool. I told her she needed to start wearing floaties everywhere after the boat incident.” Penny paused as she focused on the top of Mariah’s head, her brow knitted. She was pretty sure she had the same one back in the day. Shit, it was definitely gone now. “I like your hat.”

“And hold up, did you say you Florida was nice? Is that what drove you to joining a bunch of witches instead of just getting a plane ticket home?”
said Penny, turning her attention back to Isla.







Madison unleashed the verbal assault as Vashti closed her eyes, her finger tracing the ridges of the quarter. She wasn’t trying to keep the Leviathan back. The Leviathan was in deep hibernation, unwilling to come out while Kimberly was present. Vashti just didn’t want her crying to be as obvious as it was while Madison hit her with brutal accusations. She was shocked by the remarks because of how deadly accurate they were. They pierced right through her scales and cut her deep. What had been her gut reaction just now, as Madison berated her? To cry, to play the victim, and to complain about how Madison always targeted her.

No, fuck that, this was unfair. She was a victim. Madison had assaulted her. Before that, Madison had insulted her, bullied her, picked on her. Kimberly had abandoned her to a pick of uncaring bitches that operated under false pretenses of being a sisterhood. She had been cursed to turn into a goddamn monster, and it was all because of some jerk from the internet. She had agreed to only meet with that asshole because she wanted to...Vashti choked back more tears. She was standing on a dangerous precipice. Not many people survived falling from the pedestal that had been built upon the refusal to take responsibility for their actions. She froze.

And took the verbal lashing in silence, still frozen on that edge.

Madison left. A pyrrhic victory if there ever had been one. The quarter was cutting into her flesh now. She hadn’t been pushed over. Not yet. Emily was the one to do that. Instantly, Vashti felt like pleading, backing up to say that she wanted to find a cure for both her and for Emily’s—somebody. Vashti let out a ragged breath. Emily had told her and Herik about needing to find a cure for a curse in private, and Vashti had practically forgotten about it entirely. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand as Emily called for Herik to come get her as if she was a bratty child throwing a tantrum that was incapable of taking care of herself. She was falling now. She wasn’t a child. She just wanted to know why everybody was always being so mean to her when all she had ever been was supportive and nice and friendly and any time she wasn’t it was because her curse made her do it and really they should appreciate all she has done for—

“Oh my god,” muttered Vashti, horrified, as she hit the bottom.

Opening her eyes, she shrugged off Herik, walked over to a deck chair as Emily and Lyss saved the situation, sat down, and, finally, kept her wayward mouth shut.






Don’t start a fight.

Those four words were the only thought that repeated through Vashti’s mind as she rubbed her fingers of her left hand over the ridges of Herik’s quarter. Normally she favored her right hand, but with her arm in a sling thanks to the Jaws lunching on her joints it made that a little inconvenient. The mantra echoed through her head as the sun beat down on her, the pleasant heat doing little to warm the coldness she was feeling towards the Coven for even allowing Madison to attend this stupid meeting. Don’t start a fight. At least Madison was wise enough to keep her distance. It didn’t stop Vashti from giving her the evil eye, so the girl closed her eyes instead.

Don’t start a fight.

She shouldn’t have come today. She should’ve forced a transformation earlier. She should’ve stayed in the hospital instead of lying about how hospitals violated her beliefs to get discharged early. Only she couldn’t. If she had stayed, she would’ve been a threat to the hospital staff and patients if the Leviathan woke up. If she transformed, she would have no control over when it’d end, where she’d go, what she’d do, and what it would mean for her fractured elbow when she reverted. If she didn’t come today, then she wouldn’t be able to defend herself against any accusation thrown her way—and she fucking knew that Madison would try to blame everything on her if she wasn’t present.

Still. Don’t start a fight.

Vashti could feel Herik scoot closer to her. It was calming and nerve wracking at the same time. She tried to listen in but could hardly parse out the conversation over her mantra. She pretended to be sunbathing, as if her thick jacket could even allow a single UV to penetrate through to her skin. She pretended to be asleep, as if her knitted brow or twitching lips suggested anything but buried anger. Despite the storm brewing inside of her, Vashti knew she could keep it under control as long as she focused on the quarter, her breathing, and those four little words: Don’t. Start. A. Fight.







It didn’t matter how many times she had been ported by Kimberly, the arrival always caught Penny off guard. Thank god for the cheap dollar store sunglasses that hid her startled expression. One second they had been inside of a crummy motel room, the next they were standing by a pool next to a lavish house surrounded by a ragtag group of witches. She sucked in her bottom lip as she tried not to let envy instantly color her opinion of the Coven, who must’ve been loaded to afford such a swanky place. The silence let her hear the sound of the waves crashing on the nearby beach. Wait, this place was beachfront? Goddamn! The Coven must’ve been doing something right.

Penny turned to Kim expectantly, ready to see how she’d handle breaking the ice when it was a crowd of rich witch strangers.

"... Hi."

Masterful. Penny chuckled as she removed her sunglasses to get a better look at the Coven that, somehow, needed their help. They had a Thor cosplayer taking a day off, a brand cowboy trying to avoid fainting, and a mall goth dedicated enough to commit to the dark clothes even in this freaking heat. Continuing the trend of inappropriate summer gear was a girl wearing a winter cap that was knitted and yell—oh! Penny beamed brightly as she recognized the girl in the yellow beanie. Her smile quickly died as Isla locked eyes with her, yelped, and fell backwards into the pool. With none of the others going to help the girl out of the pool, Penny sighed and began briskly walking around the edge.

"Why don't you introduce your two friends,"said one of the Coven members who’d been giving them the stink eye. "So we know they're not going to try anything. We can do the same, but there's a ton of us and only three of you."

Penny shot her a look, smirked, and forced herself to hold her tongue. C’mon, they ask for help and then threaten them? If they were going to try anything it would've already been over, and if the loudmouth tried anything then it would most definitely be over for all but the three of them. Penny wanted nothing more than to challenge the girl, but she had told Kimberly that she’d let her do the talking so she let it slide. Water off the back. She was so damn untouchable not even words could get through. But, Kimberly had failed to introduce…

“Penny Lawson. Don’t mind me, just here for the pool,” said Penny loudly, dismissively waving away the girl with the back of her hand. She squatted down with her hands on her knees in front of where Isla was splashing, kicked on her abstraction, repulsed the little flecks of water away from her sundress to keep it dry, and smiled a shit-eating grin.

“Hey stranger, how about you just try standing?” she asked dryly.

She gave Isla a second to stop floundering, and then with a click of her mouth her finger went in for the kill, targeting a fatal boop towards Isla’s nose.







Don’t start a—Kim?

Vashti’s eyes snapped open at the sound of a voice she’d heard hundreds of times before coming out of a laptop speaker. Kimberly Walton? The Kimberly Walton? She was here? She had come? She was so excited she nearly dropped the quarter, fumbling and catching it at the last moment before it bounced into the pool. There was a fleeting moment of anxious terror as she stood up, nearly knocking over her deck chair, but it was gone within the second as she set her eyes on Kim. The girl had sealed the Leviathan once, she could seal it again. As long as she was here, things were safe. Thank god!

“We were hoping that you, with your large network of supernatural simps, could help us find someone with that ability."

“Dude! Don’t be a dick just because you only have one superlame simp following you around,” said Vashti, managing to critically fail her attempt to hide her fangirling giddiness. She pointed at Kim. “Kimberly’s cool. She really helped me out. If it wasn’t for her I…”

Vashti’s head tilted as she trailed off, her finger drooping ever slightly. Since Kimberly had sent her to the Coven, her life had only progressively gotten worse. She’d almost been hunted down by the FBI, got stuck in an elevator with a drunk jerk, never really got to enjoy the fine cuisine of a Red Lobster, was nearly killed by a ghost lady, was nearly killed by a drunk jerk’s ghost dinosaurs, and lost a game of capture the flag. A look of confusion crossed her face. She let her hand drop. The excitement in her voice faded. In a way, wasn’t Kimberly kind of to blame for this shit?

“Bro things have totally sucked since you sent me here. Maya’s under exaggerating. You didn’t...you didn’t stop this thing in me at all and it made me attack them and then this girl”—Vashti gestured at Madison—“who is...who is your friend!? What! Your shitty alcoholic friend tried to kill me and these girls are just cool with pretending like it didn’t happen and, and, and…”

Vashti inhaled deeply, paused, and exhaled slowly. Her hand rose and fell with her breathing like she was conducting a band, playing out the stress and anger before something bad happened. Don’t start a fight. Where was that quarter? She fished it out of her pocket and gave Kimberly a chagrin smile.

“I’m sorry. We’re all just a little on edge because bad shit keeps happening to us. First it was outsiders, which we could handle, but now it's each other. Honestly, if I could I would’ve left but I know it would just make me come back and I really don’t want to hurt anybody because of my curse,” said Vashti, shaking, her voice raw. She glanced at Madison. “It’s the same, right? You can’t control yours either, can you? That’s gotta be why. That’s gotta be why.”

“Look, I know what we need, I just don’t even know where to find it or what it even really is, but we need someone who can use blue...light?”
she said to Kim, looking over at Emily and Herik for affirmation. “Just help us find that. I know you’re busy but, please, you gotta help us find that. And then we go on worrying about the asshole ghost who stole Elise’s body and the monster bitch that fucking ATE Izzy and you can go do your famous person thing. But, seriously, you need to help us,” begged Vashti, her eyes watering.

Then she stepped forward and jabbed an accusatory finger at Kimberly’s face, her words growled, spit flying, as she added, “Because when I kill your fucking asshole friend, it’s going to be your goddamn fault!”

Vashti stepped back, shocked at her own tone.

Don’t start a fight, dumbass.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t leave, we need you. Really. I’m so sorry. I’m scared. Please help us. Don’t go, please,” she said, her words drowning in desperation as she began to back away, continuing to apologize under her breath. Vashti prayed that this wasn’t real, that it was a dream. She prayed that she was still in the hospital. Better yet, the Jaws had killed her, this was all a dying delusion, and she hadn’t just cursed out her idol.

Either way, she probably wouldn’t be able to get a signed photo after this.
My intention is to bring this rp to a close around October.


October 2024.






“Vashti, are you okay?”

She wasn’t. Vashti was never okay after coming out of a Leviathan onslaught anyway, but the panicky feeling was amplified by knowing that the people it had just tried to eviscerate now surrounded her weak, shellshocked body. Her response to Claudette was only a rapid increase of her breathing and her hands digging into the mud as Madison approached. She flinched like a chihuahua with an anxiety disorder as Madison reached out to her and drew her knees in tighter, bracing for the immediate hit.

Only there wasn’t one. Madison was offering to help Vashti up. For a moment Vashti began to feel control return to her body as her breathing slowed. The Coven didn’t seem outright angry with her; they seemed concerned. Perhaps Herik was right about them after all. She owed them all an apology, especially Madison. If they could get through this, maybe they could pave over their past tiffs. Perhaps they could even become friends. Maybe Madison would buy her booze! She looked up at Madison with bright, hopeful eyes that envisioned a future of water bottle vodka and shitty lagers.

The look quickly turned to horror as her dark eyes reflected the triumvirate of the Jaws snapping towards her. Her scream shattered and broke into a rattling gasp as the heads began to rip at her limbs. Vashti’s one free leg ineffectively kicked at the ground, trying to push herself away from the woman who was trying to murder her. Goddamn it, why wouldn’t her body let herself blackout? She felt every tooth as it shredded her useless scales and ripped at her flesh. The pain was unfathomable. She had to hit a threshold at some point, but the roof kept rising and rising. For once in her life Vashti wished for the Leviathan, but it wasn’t there. Didn’t it realize that if she died it would too?

Wouldn’t it?

The world went silent and the tearing stopped thanks to Maya’s handy work. Briefly, Vashti thought she was dead, ascending to heaven as she was lifted from the ground, except the continuing pain proved that she was still alive. Alive, but delirious, judging by the giant construct that was playing keepaway with the increasingly miniscule Madison. The not-quite iron giant set her down as the sound returned to her ears, although the noises made no sense and the world was all but fuzz and blobs by now. Something touched her. The Jaws? Vashti kicked at it. "Hey, hey, hey, take it easy," said the blob. Vashti felt a sting and then some pressure on her arm, followed by the same feeling on the other. It wasn’t pleasant, but when compared to being chewed at like an overcooked steak it was delightful. She let the world start to go black.

"Vashti, we're going to take care of you, okay. You'll be alright," she heard Herik say as she began to drift away. He almost sounded like he believed it. In a way, it was kind of sweet. If she was going to be lied to like that, at least Herik sounded genuine about his bullshit. But he always did, didn’t he? He shouldn’t worry about taking care of her anyway. She was a big girl. Rather, he should really worry about how Vashti would take care of Maidson. Dreams of sharing cheap beers with the girl were now dead. New dreams, vivid and dark, began to creep out from the shadow of its tombstone.

Vashti smiled.

And then passed out.
@silvermist1116 what if he joins Kimberly's "faction"?


What if he has important Annabelle information due to his time as the Forgiven rock god?






The Leviathan squeezed, waiting to hear that satisfying pop of Madison’s spine snapping. She turned to watch the life fade from Madison’s eyes, hissing as the Jaw’s trifecta of skulls appeared. It mattered little. Three fucking boneheads weren’t going to save this girl’s life. Madison would be snapped in two, and then there would be nobody left in the Coven who could face her. The summoner would feed the Leviathan its creations to keep her sated. The siren would sing songs of her praise to the pathetic primates of Floridaland. The shadowy pretender would polish the bones of the Jaws that the Leviathan was going to take as a trophy or be drowned in the swamp. None of them could hope to stand up to the mighty Leviathan.

Except one.

Lyss’s barrier appeared around the Leviathan and the Jaws. Fear appeared in the Leviathan’s eyes as it jerked its head around to seek out the deceitful necromancer. How the fuck was this possible? The Leviathan growled. Her stupid fucking vessel, in all of its excitement for the Coven’s child game it had failed to notice Lyss’s arrival. The necromancer spoke to her, its lies polluting the air. The Leviathan was too smart to fall for her tricks. The Leviathan wouldn’t be trapped ever again. She would escape from this barrier and tear the necromancer limb from tiny limb.

Only, that would be after she killed the dinosaur bitch right next to—no, no, no, no! A bloodcurdling, high pitched scream was ripped from the Leviathan’s throat as the Jaws tore clean through her tail. The Leviathan spun and swiped blindly at Madison, its mouth snapping as it tried to take a bite out of her. Kill, kill, kill! However, without her tail she was off balance and crashed to the ground. Still, she swiped and bit at invisible enemies, kicking up mud and tearing through roots as the indifferent storm above raged on. How? How? How could she lose to this fucking Coven?

She had to run. Cool rain tinged off her scales as panic began to set in. Run. Madison might’ve been trapped in Lyss’s Abstraction with the Leviathan, but the Leviathan had all but forgotten about her quarry. Run. She scrambled on the ground, trying to find her footing but never quite getting it, as her head darted back and forth. Run. The Leviathan saw Lyss, the monster keeping her trapped in her, and charged her. Run! She slammed into the barrier instead, bounced back, and rushed it again. Run, run, run! Blood splashed against the barrier as the Leviathan kept smacking into it, screaming like a banshee. Fucking run! A dark cloud swam up from the ground and engulfed the Leviathan, silencing its ear shattering scream.

If Lyss was worried that Claudette’s order to drop the barrier would result in her getting tackled and torn to shreds by a rampaging Leviathan, her fear would soon be quelled. Before the necromancer had a chance to respond a muddied, bloodied, panicking beast sprung through the barrier, bumped into Lyss, and fell on its rear. Looking up at Lyss, the creature began shrieking nonstop as it started to scoot itself away from the girl. Meanwhile, the rain began to let up as one dying rumble sounded in the distance.







It felt like her heart was going to explode. It felt like she couldn’t breath. It certainly felt like she was dying, and if she wasn’t actually dying, then certainly they were about to kill her. God, if she was going to get murdered, she really wished her body would stop screaming. Face death with a little dignity, right? No, there was no way the Coven would just outright murder her gangland style in the middle of the woods. That was just the fear talking. She just had to be rational, take a breath, and calm herself down.

No fuck that calm shit Madison's skull boys were going to eat her, Claudette was going to freeze her, Grace was going to electrocute her, and Lyss was gonna put her inside of a necklace or some shit!

Terror had gripped Vashti’s core and it controlled her now. She kept scooting away from Lyss on her ass, screaming, every now and then attempting to push herself up and falling back down again. Tears streamed down her face as she continued to panic. She felt like she was about to pass out. She wish she did; it would’ve been much better than being awake for all of this. She clasped her hands over her mouth to mute her shrieks and curled up into a sobbing, shaking ball. Vashti rolled to the side and felt something poke her. She peeked through her splayed hands to see the flag, right where she had left it. Nobody had (rightfully) bothered to even grab it. She stopped screaming and continued to stare at the flag with clenched teeth and a horrified look on her face.

So...they lost?

Or was it a draw?

Didn’t a draw just mean that everyone was a loser?






The crown pretender disappeared into a dark mist like the coward she was, but a bit of black magic fuckery wasn’t going to stop the Leviathan. She dove into the haze, the world going quiet as her powerful jaws snapped into and shredded apart a sizable chunk of air. Now on all fours, the Leviathan roared in rage—although, due to the mist, nobody would hear the terrifying warcry. She lunged blindly forward, jaw snapping, claws slashing, as she emerged from the mist to see Claudette had been pushed to safety by Grace. It seemed the false queen had her own loyalist. Fine then, she’d lose her fucking head too. Spittle flying as she bellowed, the Leviathan rushed forward to make an example out of Grace and to show the rest of the stupid ass primates how quickly she could decapitate someone. Not a damn thing could stop her.

With the exception of Deus Motherfucking Ex Machina. Divine intervention swept in to protect Grace’s pretty little neck as the Leviathan barrelled into a wall of lightning. Her whole body spasmed and convulsed as she was electrocuted, a haunting scream ripping from the pit of the Leviathan’s soul as she crumpled to the ground. For a moment, the Leviathan was still; her eyes closed. Was it dead? No. It had only taken a brief journey to the afterlife to kick Zeus’s little bitch ass for daring to meddle in her affairs. The Leviathan’s eyes opened. It was enough to send the primates running. They were smarter than she had given them credit, although that still made them utter idiots.

An unending snarl rumbled from the Leviathan as the rain from her storm began to fall harder. The field was more mud than anything now, and the Leviathan struggled as it clawed its way back up to an upright position. Laying in the dirt was unfitting of a queen, even if she was the ruler of these fucking garbage bastards. Claudette was running, but the old gods wouldn’t protect her now. The Leviathan bolted forward with all of the speed of a drunken toddler wearing ankle weights and got about just as far as one before she was stopped. Something had a strong hold on her tail while something else was wrapping around her legs. She looked down. Roots? Even the Earth Goddess was against her. No. A pale imitation. Another goddamn pretender.

She would make them all kneel.

In one swift motion the Leviathan swiped downward and cut through the binds with ease, her claws shredding through the roots with more power than chainsaw. She did not stop there. Seeing Madison and still feeling her on her tail, her claw swipe followed through as she stepped in towards Madison and wrapped her tail around her waist. If Madison held on and her armor didn’t protect her then the stupid asshole would have her guts ripped out. Alternatively, if she let go to dodge then the Leviathan’s was ready to whip around the other way and smash her with a powerful tail bash that would definitely be felt through the armor. Either way, one thing was certain: the Leviathan was going to destroy Madison.
Chapter 3 gon be thicc af.
You sure it's only 5 chapters and not 6? Lol.


Chapter 1 Opening Cutscene
Chapter 2 Tutorial Area
Chapter 3 100 hours of you see that mountain, the Coven can ruin it
Chapter 4 Final Dungeon
Chapter 5 DENS DLC
“Like I said,” chimed in Maysah. She flourished her hands out like she was presenting a brand new car as the Tower clarified his abilities. “He does exactly what he looks like he does.”

The look on Maysah’s face slipped from slight skepticism to pure bemusement as Peterson outlined their plan. Just drive right in. Sure, easy enough. Arbiter spoke for her as he called it a fucking stupid plan. She hid the hint of a smile behind her hand by taking a drink of water and pretending to wipe her lip. It was nice to know that Arbiter was at least smart enough to realize that this was absolutely stupid, although he was still dumb enough to go along with it. Then again, she hadn’t gotten up from her chair and hopped the waist-size fence that divided the street from the patio so how could she criticize his intellect?

“I have a question,” said Maysah, draping an arm over her seat. It was for Arbiter, not Peterson. “In general, how close must you be before you can wiggle your fingers and exert control over tech? Theoretically, couldn’t we use your power to shut down the seismic sensors and loop the cameras to give us an option that’s a little less gung-ho than walking in the front door and saying we know Janice.”

Her eyes darted over to Peterson, “By the way, is that even a real person who is actually working with us? Or are we risking having a suitably farcical moment where this whole none-plan blows up in our face when we inadvertently tell the Janice Park that we were sent by a Janice Park?”






Yes! Yes yes yes! Madison had figured it out. She was flying up, up, up and away, like Superman in a discount Halloween costume. If the others were smart they would run too, except why would they? She hadn’t warned them. The Coven had only seen the Leviathan once, and it had helped them. . Only Herik knew the full extent of her curse, and even then she found the Leviathan keeping her words back to make it nearly impossible to give him the full story. Surely he told them. Then why did she hear footsteps coming closer? Why were there voices near her? Oh no, one of them was touching her. She had to stop them, she had to warn them, she had to—







—teach these dumb motherfuckers who really ran the GOTDAMN Coven.

Look at them, these wannabe ass witches running back and forth after a stick like a bunch of dumbass dogs. The things these lesser beings did to entertain themselves. Honestly, it was downright embarrassing that the Leviathan’s vessel had actually enjoyed playing their stupid little game. Sickening, really, but it was just another example of primate inferiority. The Leviathan easily could’ve won their fucking game without even lifting her tail, but why would it even bother? It didn’t care about such trivial things. It only cared that it won, and it was going after the ultimate prize: respect.

And what better way to get nitwitted primate/dog crossbreeds to respect their one true Queen then by making them shit their fucking pants? With another crack of thunder the sky opened up and began to rain. The rain fell through the black mist that had hidden the sun that was now sheltered behind storm clouds, because the Leviathan was so magnificent that even the sun knew to hide when she arrived. As if she had just been hit with a defibrillator, Vashti’s convulsing body jumped upright as a deafening roar ripped from her lips as her mouth split and revealed dozens of razor sharp teeth. Scales covered her entire body as muscles rippled underneath them. Claws split from her fingernails as a tail ripped through her pants.

The transformation took less than a second, which would precisely be enough time for those stupid bitches who had swarmed her like vultures to realize that they’d fucked up.

The Leviathan would make Madison pay for scuffing up its precious vessel. The Lizard Queen would see to it that the girl would be as extinct as the creatures whose bones now shielded her body, all of which thought they were at some point the apex predator and all of which were wrong—killed off by meteors, volcanos, and because it was a tad chilly for their weak little bodies and they had forgotten their jumpers. Boo who gives a fuck. A time traveller with a shotgun could kill a stupid dinosaur. Nothing could ever really kill the goddamn Leviathan.

Only she couldn’t fly. Flying was stupid. It was for assholes and cowards. Chickens. Cheep cheep cheep. The Leviathan could jump around all day and it wouldn’t reach Madison, and she didn’t have time for evolution to come around and give her wings. She had to get the stupid boneheaded bitch out of the sky, and she knew just how to do it because she was a fucking genius. Never had there been a smarter Leviathan. If the Leviathan wanted Madison on the ground, she just had to get a reason for her to come down. Fortunately, that reason had been idiotic enough to come up and touch the Leviathan’s vessel just moments ago. Even better, that reason was that damn primate pretender currently occupying the Lizard Queen’s rightful throne.

Now, a Queen could just go around chopping off heads and call it ruling, but the Leviathan wasn’t some simpleminded, bloodthirsty monster. What was the point in being Queen if there weren’t others to grovel on their hands and knees for you? They couldn’t grovel without fucking heads, just like they couldn’t do it without hands or knees either. What a good groveller didn’t need was anything below their knees, and what better groveller would there be to quickly turn the Coven to throwing themselves at the feet of their rightful ruler then the pretender? It was solid logic. The only thing a truly righteous and brilliant Queen could think up. The best fucking idea ever.

And with that ringing endorsement, the Leviathan launched itself at Claudette with her claws out and her mouth open, ready to devour the pretender’s gangly ass bitch legs.
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