Seeing the glass explode in the Genasi’s hands wasn’t the kobold’s usual idea of an answer. The lizardkin appeared to shrink further and further as the venom of the Genasi’s sarcastic retorts sunk in. Lak Lok meekly raised his stubby little hands apologetically in response to the Genasi’s anger. He’d misunderstood the situation entirely. How could he have been so foolish to force his assumptions?
They weren’t fiances.
They were exes.
“ My mistake, madam.” Lak Lok coughed, scooting as best as he could away from the firey demon woman. The temperature around her was beginning to grow sweltering hot, even by the standards of lizardfolk. Returning to sip on his spring water, Lak Lok decided to keep his revelation to himself for the time being, lest he was incinerated by a fireball. Luckily, the rest of the group came to join them, sitting next to each other on the bar stand. He scooted away from the Genasi to join the rest of the company. Listening to the conversation, Lak Lok rubbed his scaly chin, mulling over the proposed plans of the ginger haired human. This web of mysteries was like trying to crack open a boiled cave crab. Clawing for those last pockets of meat, tucked away in the shell whilst contending with the hideous architecture of crustacean physiology.
The first and second plans weren’t his forte. Socialising was not one of Lak Lok’s strengths unless someone counted eviscerating amateur cooks verbally as evidence. But they did provide safety in lieu of the third plan. Venturing out in the wilderness on some gamble had its own risks in the form of getting mauled by a 9 foot tall unicorn bull.
Decisions, decisions. Yet, it was ultimately up to Garrakg. Grasping his book, Lak Lok prayed hard to himself, whispering forgotten canticles and prayers in honour of Garrakg, for an answer, a sign for which path he should follow.
Lord Garrakg, would it be right for me to beseech Mr Garrick’s bethr-
There was a shout to Lak Lok’s right as the steamed eel began writhing on the plate before exploding in a dwarven couple’s face.
Then, perhaps, going to the authorities would be best -
A strangled noise of tangled air erupted behind Lak Lok. As he turned around, he saw a minotaur writhing and gasping on the floor, choking on what appeared to be an owlbear sausage.
Then, it would be venturing out into the wilderness, my lord?
He waited for any response. None. Lak Lok then spoke up.
” I volunteer to go out into the wilderness, madam.” He then coughed. “ I agree with the human’s proposition. Dividing tasks amongst ourselves will be faster - “
A familiar reedy voice then interrupted Lak Lok in the midst of his speech. It was that filthy half-elf waiter again.
“ Y-your m-meal, sir.”
Lak Lok looked at the freshly steaming descaled hydra flank served in front of him. It was garnished with wild beets and a particularly pungent beer butter. The kobold's forked tongue flickered out, tasting the scents that arose from the beat before cutting off a portion of the hydra flank. Chewing it slowly, there was no discernible reaction on the kobold's face. The half-elf waiter then spoke up.
“ Is this meal to your satisfaction, sir?”
Grabbing the half-elf waiter’s ponytail, Lak Lok pulled him down and lowered him to observe the cut flank of hydra.
“ Medium, sir. ” The half-elf said, unsure of himself.
Again, with almost demonic strength, Lak Lok began throttling the half-elf waiter whilst shouting into his ear.
“ IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MEDIUM RARE ,YOU INCOMPETENT DUNG HERDER!”
“ I will forgive you for your insolence one time. Be certain of this. If I come to this establishment again and misinterpretation of my meal occurs again…” From out of the satchel hung around his back, Lak Lok pulled out an oversized rifle, the bore of which almost enveloped the waiter’s head. “ I will make you my next meal.”
The half-elf waiter immediately ran off. Lak Lok stuffed the rifle back into his satchel and continued talking to the group as if nothing had happened.
“ I am sorry. As much as I would like to contribute more to this discussion, I must decline at this moment. However, in order for me to function at the best of my abilities, my patron demands that I must fully enjoy, savor and digest this meal. Excuse me while I pray to Garrakg for our safety throughout our quest.”
Lak Lok then returned to his meal, fully focused on devouring and consuming his lunch in honour of his god, with teeth crunching gusto, not paying much mind to the discussions of the group.
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