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9 yrs ago
Sometimes, even an adventurer needs a backrub.
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• Name: John Shirkwood
• Age: 23
• Gender: Male
• Appearance: In his heroic forms, it varies. Normally he's a blonde man with greenish, tired eyes and a red sweatshirt, he usually wears jeans. He's now got a rotary dial from a phone booth in his pocket.
• Method of Travel: the J-Dial, a device similar to the H-Dial which allows him to hop to realities based on a numeric sequence
• Powers: The H-Dial, a mystical device with the ability to transform its user into a range of strange and incredible heroes. These heroes tend toward the Cape aesthetic, but some of them can be downright strange- IE, Cock-A-Hoop, Boy Chimney, and Daffodil Host. The downside to the dial: John doesn't get to choose WHICH hero he turns into, and some of the powers are eccentric. Case in point, Flamewar, who can set things on fire by insulting them, or Pelican Army, who is a hivemind composed of pelicans and a telepathic redcoat soldier.
• Personality: Had someone said Had someone said "Take this fancy trinket, these awesome monster dolls, and go beat up evil things" he would have jumped at the call. Granted, he'd probably ask to be paid for the use of his image, but that would just be to pay the bills. He's a man of moderate intelligence and has a patchwork knowledge of many subjects, mostly involving biology, computers, and physics, although nothing too specialized. It's worth noting this knowledge is... a little off, given his home universe. He's torn between how awesome being a superhero is and how weird his various forms are.

• Starting World: The Silver Age DCU's Earth-1
• Backstory: One night, after watching a documentary about the many superheroes that once populated Fairfax, Maine, John Shirkwood was awoken by a highly coincidental meteor impacting in his backyard. Knowing this was how many superheroes in the Justice League got their start, he made his way to the impact to find... a large plastic shell filled with rotary dials and a large "recycling" symbol on the side. Shrugging, he took them to the garage, discovering mysterious inscriptions on the side. These inscriptions were poorly ciphered directions on how to use the devices: The one with the large "H" in the middle would activate upon dialing H-E-R-O, and the one with the "J" would activate upon dialing J-U-M-P followed by a numeric sequence.

Well, one thing led to another, he met Green Lantern after forming a low-level superhero team based out of Georgia from other losers who managed to get powers (calling themselves the Super Friends of Georgia), and the existence of the multiverse was revealed. Since, he's been waiting for the call into action, fighting against low-end supercriminals alongside his team as a number of heroic identities.
*ahem*

The Japanese Penal Code sets a minimal age of consent of 13. However, all prefectures and districts have (largely similar) "obscenity ordinances" (淫行条例) that forbid "fornication" (淫行) with anyone under 18 years of age, but exempt sex in the context of a sincere romantic relationship (typically determined by parental approval).

I just had to check Wikipedia for that. If you want to justify the depiction of people under the age of consent having sex, that's fine, but remember that there are laws against that in most civilized countries.
• Name: John Shirkwood
• Age: 23
• Gender: Male
• Appearance: In his heroic forms, it varies. Normally he's a blonde man with greenish, tired eyes and a red sweatshirt, he usually wears jeans. He's now got a rotary dial from a phone booth in his pocket.
• Method of Travel: the J-Dial, a device similar to the H-Dial which allows him to hop to realities based on a numeric sequence
• Powers: The H-Dial, a mystical device with the ability to transform its user into a range of strange and incredible heroes. These heroes tend toward the Cape aesthetic, but some of them can be downright strange- IE, Cock-A-Hoop, Boy Chimney, and Daffodil Host. The downside to the dial: John doesn't get to choose WHICH hero he turns into, and some of the powers are eccentric. Case in point, Flamewar, who can set things on fire by insulting them, or Pelican Army, who is a hivemind composed of pelicans and a telepathic redcoat soldier.
• Personality: Had someone said Had someone said "Take this fancy trinket, these awesome monster dolls, and go beat up evil things" he would have jumped at the call. Granted, he'd probably ask to be paid for the use of his image, but that would just be to pay the bills. He's a man of moderate intelligence and has a patchwork knowledge of many subjects, mostly involving biology, computers, and physics, although nothing too specialized. It's worth noting this knowledge is... a little off, given his home universe. He's torn between how awesome being a superhero is and how weird his various forms are.

• Starting World: The Silver Age DCU's Earth-1
• Backstory: One night, after watching a documentary about the many superheroes that once populated Fairfax, Maine, John Shirkwood was awoken by a highly coincidental meteor impacting in his backyard. Knowing this was how many superheroes in the Justice League got their start, he made his way to the impact to find... a large plastic shell filled with rotary dials and a large "recycling" symbol on the side. Shrugging, he took them to the garage, discovering mysterious inscriptions on the side. These inscriptions were poorly ciphered directions on how to use the devices: The one with the large "H" in the middle would activate upon dialing H-E-R-O, and the one with the "J" would activate upon dialing J-U-M-P followed by a numeric sequence.

Well, one thing led to another, he met Green Lantern after forming a low-level superhero team based out of Georgia from other losers who managed to get powers (calling themselves the Super Friends of Georgia), and the existence of the multiverse was revealed. Since, he's been waiting for the call into action, fighting against low-end supercriminals alongside his team as a number of heroic identities.
Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been online much, but my internet access is going to be a bit limited until Friday night. I'll check in when I can.
Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been online much, but my internet access is going to be a bit limited until Friday night. I'll check in when I can.
Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been online much, but my internet access is going to be a bit limited until Friday night. I'll check in when I can.
That's... a bit unfortunate. From what I understand, Paul Bunyan is dead in-canon.

It's why I'm going with Pecos Bill.
Video Star, Offices of the Lord of Bloodsport

"...I understand that, but- look, it was supposed to hit the ocean. Well is it my fucking fault the dumbasses really DIDN'T correct for gravity? ...I can't 'let your guys at them.' Well, because it's against company policy. Look, I'll leave them in the deep fryer for a couple of hours, that work?"

A grey knocked nervously at the door, adjusting its headset and taking Spandez's empty thermos of cofee.

"Mr. Spandez, there's a man here to see you. Says he's the rightful owner of the planet."

Facepalming, Spandez took the box of cigars from inside his desk and placed it next to his nameplate.

"Oh, fan-fucking-tastic. Send him in. I- Yes, they have a pretty face, but- Yeah. Yeah, we've got some meathooks. It'll be taken care of, Saejima, don't you worry. I forgot an honorific? What the flying fuck is an honorific?"

Doing his best to maintain his composure, he stretched and put on his trademark smile as Super Cosmos was shown in.

"Look, I'll have some Newdurs down there in a flash, they do set building for the show all the time. Yeah. No, no charge, this is our way of trying to make amends. What're your culture's funerary traditions? ...Yeah. Yeah, we'll foot the cost. This is the least we can do to make up for those colossal fuckups. Talk to you later."

Hanging up the pink cell phone pterrordactyl had stolen from one of the children, Spandez motioned to the soft leather chair on the opposite side.

"Please, come in! You'll have to excuse me, I was trying to calm down the natives. They think we're invading in force. Ah, they wish, it might liven the place up a bit. Oh, and help yourself to some of those fine Rigelian cigars. What can I help you with today?"
Freddy Fazbear's Parking Lot

"QVESTION TWO! ARE YOU CURRENTLY VORKING FOR OR HAVE YOU EVER VORKED FOR EIN MILITARY, MILITARIZED COMPANY, OFFICIAL CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION, STREET GANG, OR HORDE OF ZE DAMNED?!"

TV Fly caught the riding crop as it nearly slapped him in the eye again. Even as the large print options for the deaf scrolled, TV-fly glared at Starfish Hitler.

"I swear to god you fucking kraut if you hit me with that one more time I'll turn you into seafood bratwurst."



Castlevania- Undead Resort

Skin pale from nausea, Kelly clutched her stomach and looked at Raditz.

"What is it with you and pudding? I'm pretty sure that the Perseph-"
"WELCOME!"

The Skeleton Bartender threw the drink tumbler at Kelly, hitting her dead on. As it did, she began backing away, looking down, and then to Raditz with a look of terror in her eyes... as she slowly turned to stone. The Crobat stared in horror before landing on the statuesque Rocket Grunt's shoulder and nudging her, trying to get her to move. The skeleton proceeded to mix up another drink, shaking the tumbler and preparing to throw it at Raditz.

"THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!"
Castlevania


"Man, flying's always impressive," Kelly said, waving her hand under Raditz. "Yeah, you're good, handsome. But uh... that doesn't smell like pudd-"

Kelly retched a little.

"Oh god. Oh god I can smell rancid milk and rotting meat. J...just come on please."

As the two flew over the horde of shuffling zombies, Kelly's cheeks puffed up further and further. Thankfully, the smell of chlorinated water greeted them as they entered a large room... with the walls painted in a tropical vista as skeletons lazed about in a pool down below. On a marble surface, before a statue of the Virgin Mary (who neither the alien or criminal from a universe where god is a horse dragon thing recognized), a Skeleton had set up a fancy bar and was shaking up drinks. Around the statue, shelves held fine vintage alcohol and old-fashioned iceboxes. A red skeleton sat on a large rock, a bit of white gunk over its nose signifying it as a life guard.

"Urgh... looks like they set up some kinda pool... I'm... I'm gonna get something to settle my stomach."

She tried to sneak around, but a skeleton looked her dead in the eye... and went back to trying to swim. It seemed the skeletons weren't going to start anything just yet. Kelly made her way down to the bar as the skeleton bartender began shaking up something.
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