Hey, it's in the rules, AND I only get one race-via-avatar per game.
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Name: Takahara Sentou, Kamen Rider 15, the Great Leader of Shocker+
Universe: World of the Showa Riders
Canon or OC: OC
Appearance: While untransformed, he's a fairly typical salaryman. His various transformations.
Age: 57
Personality: Takahara is, first and foremost, a henchman. He tends to just go along with things and isn't very bright. While not transformed, he's fairly cowardly, running from combat- he's nearly sixty after all. This goes out the window once he's gotten into the spandex. He has forty years of experience fighting foes vastly more powerful than himself- he's taken so many Rider Kicks and Rider Punches that he can perfectly emulate them. He fights to protect his comrades in villainy with everything he's got- after all, their bosses might consider them expendable, but they're his brothers in mookdom.
Abilities: Takahara's most valuable skill is his ability to handle money. He is possibly the greatest accountant in the multiverse, able to balance books and manage funds in such a way that even the stupidest evil plot breaks even financially. Almost as terrifying is his skill with corporate bureaucracy. He's also one of the earliest Shocker Combat Cyborgs, granting him greatly enhanced strength and durability. This comes at a price, however- his cybernetics don't have an external power source, and as such they run off the calories stored in his body. He never quite got up to "Altered Humanoid" though, and does not have a monstrous form.
Equipment: A Sengoku Driver and various lockseeds, allowing him to take on various armors as a Kamen Rider. These armors come with weapons and various powers.
Faction: Shocker+
Background: Takahara has floated around as villainous organizations have risen and fallen. He started out as a Combatant in SHOCKER before getting transferred to accounting. Then the Kamen Riders broke free and fucked everything up. So he moved on to Destron. Same story. Eventually, he discovered the multiverse as he was hired by Dai-Shocker, a multiversal collection of enemies of the Kamen Riders... and then a pink Kamen Rider promptly fucked up the multiverse AND his cushy job. But at least this setback opened up an endless multiverse of employers. From BOARD to Smart Brain, Takahara's a familiar face among the shady corporations and evil organizations of the Kamen Rider worlds. Takahara's most recent employers have included a museum (that for some reason manufactured USB sticks), a corporation that seemed to have its hands in everything (he ended up doing finances for R&D), a Japanese pharmaceutical company trying to get in on the "Battling Monsters" craze, and a child molester seeking to destroy the universe. But of course a Kamen Rider came and fucked those up too. After the fiasco with the destruction of Zawame, he grabbed a few things from the ruins of his office at the Yggdrasil Corporation as a severance package to go along with the trophies from a long history of failure his employers have endured. Turns out when exposed to various sources of power, the fruit of Helheim matures into a lockseed reflecting the source.
After putting up with the foolish goals of his previous employer for what felt like an eternity, then becoming frustrated with the needless bureaucracy of the Sentient Millieu, Takahara decided to found a new Multiversal Evil Organization. Made up of the remnants of the retired, defeated, and dormant organizations, Shocker+ has become the gold standard in for-profit multiversal villainy.
Universe: World of the Showa Riders
Canon or OC: OC
Appearance: While untransformed, he's a fairly typical salaryman. His various transformations.
Age: 57
Personality: Takahara is, first and foremost, a henchman. He tends to just go along with things and isn't very bright. While not transformed, he's fairly cowardly, running from combat- he's nearly sixty after all. This goes out the window once he's gotten into the spandex. He has forty years of experience fighting foes vastly more powerful than himself- he's taken so many Rider Kicks and Rider Punches that he can perfectly emulate them. He fights to protect his comrades in villainy with everything he's got- after all, their bosses might consider them expendable, but they're his brothers in mookdom.
Abilities: Takahara's most valuable skill is his ability to handle money. He is possibly the greatest accountant in the multiverse, able to balance books and manage funds in such a way that even the stupidest evil plot breaks even financially. Almost as terrifying is his skill with corporate bureaucracy. He's also one of the earliest Shocker Combat Cyborgs, granting him greatly enhanced strength and durability. This comes at a price, however- his cybernetics don't have an external power source, and as such they run off the calories stored in his body. He never quite got up to "Altered Humanoid" though, and does not have a monstrous form.
Equipment: A Sengoku Driver and various lockseeds, allowing him to take on various armors as a Kamen Rider. These armors come with weapons and various powers.
Faction: Shocker+
Background: Takahara has floated around as villainous organizations have risen and fallen. He started out as a Combatant in SHOCKER before getting transferred to accounting. Then the Kamen Riders broke free and fucked everything up. So he moved on to Destron. Same story. Eventually, he discovered the multiverse as he was hired by Dai-Shocker, a multiversal collection of enemies of the Kamen Riders... and then a pink Kamen Rider promptly fucked up the multiverse AND his cushy job. But at least this setback opened up an endless multiverse of employers. From BOARD to Smart Brain, Takahara's a familiar face among the shady corporations and evil organizations of the Kamen Rider worlds. Takahara's most recent employers have included a museum (that for some reason manufactured USB sticks), a corporation that seemed to have its hands in everything (he ended up doing finances for R&D), a Japanese pharmaceutical company trying to get in on the "Battling Monsters" craze, and a child molester seeking to destroy the universe. But of course a Kamen Rider came and fucked those up too. After the fiasco with the destruction of Zawame, he grabbed a few things from the ruins of his office at the Yggdrasil Corporation as a severance package to go along with the trophies from a long history of failure his employers have endured. Turns out when exposed to various sources of power, the fruit of Helheim matures into a lockseed reflecting the source.
After putting up with the foolish goals of his previous employer for what felt like an eternity, then becoming frustrated with the needless bureaucracy of the Sentient Millieu, Takahara decided to found a new Multiversal Evil Organization. Made up of the remnants of the retired, defeated, and dormant organizations, Shocker+ has become the gold standard in for-profit multiversal villainy.
In
Search For The Multiverse Interest Check and Character Sheet Signup
→
9 yrs ago
Forum: General Interest Checks
Name: The Shocker+ Minion's Guild
Motives: Shocker+ is a business run by those who know what it's like to live for fighting. Those who spend their lives fighting foes stronger than themselves. It is a way for them- known colloquially as "mooks"- to use their expertise in administration and as footsoldiers, combatants, or henchmen to better the universe, fight ever-more powerful foes, and do so in a profitable, fiscally sustainable, and ecologically sound manner. They also seek to improve morale and working conditions for mooks throughout the multiverse.
Base: The world of Kamen Rider Decade- former Dai-Shocker HQ. However, they have numerous holdouts and meeting places throughout the multiverse, including every iteration of the Freddy Fazbear's Pizza franchise.
Notable Members:
Takahara, AKA The Great Leader of Shocker+
General Vamp, Housewife Credentials
Satan Goth, Alien Overlord
Ben Fujinami and Neo-BAD, the Robot Mob
Mezalord, Master of the Downworld Demon Clan
Pretty Much any Mook or Monster of the Week: Shocker Combatants, AIM or HYDRA, Kuro Footsoldiers, Federation or Zeon soldiers, or otherwise, it's hard to find mook work without Shocker+'s help.
Name: Takahara Sentou, Kamen Rider 15, the Great Leader of Shocker+
Universe: World of the Showa Riders
Canon or OC: OC
Appearance: While untransformed, he's a fairly typical salaryman. His various transformations.
Age: 57
Personality: Takahara is, first and foremost, a henchman. He tends to just go along with things and isn't very bright. While not transformed, he's fairly cowardly, running from combat- he's nearly sixty after all. This goes out the window once he's gotten into the spandex. He has forty years of experience fighting foes vastly more powerful than himself- he's taken so many Rider Kicks and Rider Punches that he can perfectly emulate them. He fights to protect his comrades in villainy with everything he's got- after all, their bosses might consider them expendable, but they're his brothers in mookdom.
Abilities: Takahara's most valuable skill is his ability to handle money. He is possibly the greatest accountant in the multiverse, able to balance books and manage funds in such a way that even the stupidest evil plot breaks even financially. Almost as terrifying is his skill with corporate bureaucracy. He's also one of the earliest Shocker Combat Cyborgs, granting him greatly enhanced strength and durability. This comes at a price, however- his cybernetics don't have an external power source, and as such they run off the calories stored in his body. He never quite got up to "Altered Humanoid" though, and does not have a monstrous form.
Equipment: A Sengoku Driver and various lockseeds, allowing him to take on various armors as a Kamen Rider. These armors come with weapons and various powers.
Faction: Shocker+
Background: Takahara has floated around as villainous organizations have risen and fallen. He started out as a Combatant in SHOCKER before getting transferred to accounting. Then the Kamen Riders broke free and fucked everything up. So he moved on to Destron. Same story. Eventually, he discovered the multiverse as he was hired by Dai-Shocker, a multiversal collection of enemies of the Kamen Riders... and then a pink Kamen Rider promptly fucked up the multiverse AND his cushy job. But at least this setback opened up an endless multiverse of employers. From BOARD to Smart Brain, Takahara's a familiar face among the shady corporations and evil organizations of the Kamen Rider worlds. Takahara's most recent employers have included a museum (that for some reason manufactured USB sticks), a corporation that seemed to have its hands in everything (he ended up doing finances for R&D), a Japanese pharmaceutical company trying to get in on the "Battling Monsters" craze, and a child molester seeking to destroy the universe. But of course a Kamen Rider came and fucked those up too. After the fiasco with the destruction of Zawame, he grabbed a few things from the ruins of his office at the Yggdrasil Corporation as a severance package to go along with the trophies from a long history of failure his employers have endured. Turns out when exposed to various sources of power, the fruit of Helheim matures into a lockseed reflecting the source.
After putting up with the foolish goals of his previous employer for what felt like an eternity, then becoming frustrated with the needless bureaucracy of the Sentient Millieu, Takahara decided to found a new Multiversal Evil Organization. Made up of the remnants of the retired, defeated, and dormant organizations, Shocker+ has become the gold standard in for-profit multiversal villainy.
Motives: Shocker+ is a business run by those who know what it's like to live for fighting. Those who spend their lives fighting foes stronger than themselves. It is a way for them- known colloquially as "mooks"- to use their expertise in administration and as footsoldiers, combatants, or henchmen to better the universe, fight ever-more powerful foes, and do so in a profitable, fiscally sustainable, and ecologically sound manner. They also seek to improve morale and working conditions for mooks throughout the multiverse.
Base: The world of Kamen Rider Decade- former Dai-Shocker HQ. However, they have numerous holdouts and meeting places throughout the multiverse, including every iteration of the Freddy Fazbear's Pizza franchise.
Notable Members:
Takahara, AKA The Great Leader of Shocker+
General Vamp, Housewife Credentials
Satan Goth, Alien Overlord
Ben Fujinami and Neo-BAD, the Robot Mob
Mezalord, Master of the Downworld Demon Clan
Pretty Much any Mook or Monster of the Week: Shocker Combatants, AIM or HYDRA, Kuro Footsoldiers, Federation or Zeon soldiers, or otherwise, it's hard to find mook work without Shocker+'s help.
Name: Takahara Sentou, Kamen Rider 15, the Great Leader of Shocker+
Universe: World of the Showa Riders
Canon or OC: OC
Appearance: While untransformed, he's a fairly typical salaryman. His various transformations.
Age: 57
Personality: Takahara is, first and foremost, a henchman. He tends to just go along with things and isn't very bright. While not transformed, he's fairly cowardly, running from combat- he's nearly sixty after all. This goes out the window once he's gotten into the spandex. He has forty years of experience fighting foes vastly more powerful than himself- he's taken so many Rider Kicks and Rider Punches that he can perfectly emulate them. He fights to protect his comrades in villainy with everything he's got- after all, their bosses might consider them expendable, but they're his brothers in mookdom.
Abilities: Takahara's most valuable skill is his ability to handle money. He is possibly the greatest accountant in the multiverse, able to balance books and manage funds in such a way that even the stupidest evil plot breaks even financially. Almost as terrifying is his skill with corporate bureaucracy. He's also one of the earliest Shocker Combat Cyborgs, granting him greatly enhanced strength and durability. This comes at a price, however- his cybernetics don't have an external power source, and as such they run off the calories stored in his body. He never quite got up to "Altered Humanoid" though, and does not have a monstrous form.
Equipment: A Sengoku Driver and various lockseeds, allowing him to take on various armors as a Kamen Rider. These armors come with weapons and various powers.
Faction: Shocker+
Background: Takahara has floated around as villainous organizations have risen and fallen. He started out as a Combatant in SHOCKER before getting transferred to accounting. Then the Kamen Riders broke free and fucked everything up. So he moved on to Destron. Same story. Eventually, he discovered the multiverse as he was hired by Dai-Shocker, a multiversal collection of enemies of the Kamen Riders... and then a pink Kamen Rider promptly fucked up the multiverse AND his cushy job. But at least this setback opened up an endless multiverse of employers. From BOARD to Smart Brain, Takahara's a familiar face among the shady corporations and evil organizations of the Kamen Rider worlds. Takahara's most recent employers have included a museum (that for some reason manufactured USB sticks), a corporation that seemed to have its hands in everything (he ended up doing finances for R&D), a Japanese pharmaceutical company trying to get in on the "Battling Monsters" craze, and a child molester seeking to destroy the universe. But of course a Kamen Rider came and fucked those up too. After the fiasco with the destruction of Zawame, he grabbed a few things from the ruins of his office at the Yggdrasil Corporation as a severance package to go along with the trophies from a long history of failure his employers have endured. Turns out when exposed to various sources of power, the fruit of Helheim matures into a lockseed reflecting the source.
After putting up with the foolish goals of his previous employer for what felt like an eternity, then becoming frustrated with the needless bureaucracy of the Sentient Millieu, Takahara decided to found a new Multiversal Evil Organization. Made up of the remnants of the retired, defeated, and dormant organizations, Shocker+ has become the gold standard in for-profit multiversal villainy.
It's not an event bonus, it's an "I ended the turn with less than four points" bonus.
As the whirling, burning storms charred and sank The Land, stray bolts of lightning and fire struck Suggit's impenetrable shell. Suggit shook himself irritably, but did not seem to react further.
The many heads of Un watched The Land sink with vague disinterest. One tutted disappointedly and addressed the rest of himself. Another discussion had begun.
"Look at the way the island's sinking. It's killing everything."
"Speaking of killing, we might want to get a jumpstart on that whole 'creating life' thing. Something that can survive anything would be good."
"We should start with another turtle."
"Turtles lay eggs, right?"
"Do they always have to?"
"I always thought they spawned from their shells."
"Eggs are important to all turtles! It's the very first test of their existence! Removing the egg would make them weak!"
"So clearly, the eggs must be made out of fire."
"The fire would provide too much protection."
"Wait, wait, what if we make it lay eggs that don't hatch turtles?"
"You mean... eggs that hatch yetis?"
"Eggs that hatch yeti savages."
"And then those breathe fire, yes?"
"I was thinking "innate knowledge of savagery, always frustrated."
"Would that really give us the most bang for our buck?"
"What if we made everything hate them? Like, everything. Plants and the like too. I'm thinking that'll give us some nice pressure, keep them adapting."
"Even the turtle?"
"ESPECIALLY the turtle."
"So, what you're suggesting is... a race of yeti who are loathed by all, know nothing but savagery, and lay eggs?"
"Well, that savagery will quickly evolve into hunting, spears, tribes, that sort of thing."
"And there's a problem with that?"
"Do we want tools? Tools seem a little weak."
"If those bastards can make them, then they can do the tools."
"Yeah, but remember the time we made the race that constantly mutated? That was just... weird."
"Tools are an excellent way to provide pressure. It ensures that our little dearies can kill each other when there's nothing else that can."
"Nay. They should be able to be extremely adaptive to the environment. Not strong enough to lift a mountain? Keep trying to pick it up- no, that would be too strong- let's have it so that each time they're beaten, the get a slight power boost. Then maybe the strongest ones can even transform if they're lucky."
"Hold on, we're neglecting the hippos. They gotta be able to adapt to murderyetis with spears."
"Hehehe, murderyetis."
"Okay, wait, wait. I have an idea."
"Does it involve more murder done by the hippos and yetis?"
"Yes, okay, what if-"
"What if not?"
"-What if we made more than one kind of yeti?"
"Novel. Continue..."
"And we made them fight..."
"Over which one had the right to live?"
"Like, black yetis and white yetis or north and south yetis or something, okay."
"We could do a rainbow of yetis."
"And then we tell the black yetis that the white yetis are evil, and we tell the white yetis that the black yetis are evil, and we make them fight forever."
"Mm, that might work. Does anyone know where the sacred clay is?"
A head reaches out its obscenely long tongue to grab a jar of gray, goopy subtance.
Nodding obligingly, another head clumsily attempted to simultaneously hold it and unscrew the lid.
There was an unpleasant shattering sound.
"Shit, I dropped it on the board."
"Eh, let the turtle handle it."
"The turtle knows best. That's how we made him, right?"
"I thought we made him to be angry and hate everyone."
"Exactly. He knows best."
"Well it looks pretty nettled."
With baffling style and grace, Suggit mashed and spread the glass-encrusted mound of sacred clay around its immediate area. Globs of clay dutifully formed themselves into vaguely humanoid shapes with two heads. As the dumpy clay figures built themselves up, details and colors began forming. Matted hair and sinewy muscle billowed forth across the clay humanoids' bodies, like a flood of testosterone across a plains. With an air of satisfaction, the clay humanoids stood tall, yetis all.
Curiously, it seemed that, after the clay had formed itself into a suitable shape, it began adding meaningless and absurd additions. Exactly half of the yeti population had its second head located squarely on its right shoulderblade. The other half had its second head located on its right forearm. Other than this strange differentiation, the yeti were almost entirely alike. They ate the same food, walked the same way, and could even freely reproduce between each race.
Suggit the World Turtle looked upon his work and huffed violently, clearly disgusted. As the mighty breath of life and disappointment spread over the yetis, they each sprang to life in turn. Wonder and amazement filled the air, at least until one shoulder-headed yeti had the poor fortune to look upon a forearm-headed yeti. Mustering a spectacular amount of horror for a two-headed apeman, the shoulder-headed yeti howled in rage at his cosmetically-different brother. United by the positioning of their heads, the yeti split themselves into two militantly-opposed groups: the master race with heads on their shoulders, and the Un-chosen people with heads on their forearms. Already, conflict had arisen in the world's first race. All was as it should be.
The heads of Un looked at their people with nothing but satisfaction, and cheerfully watched as the world's first race war erupted. The shoulder-headed yetis fled to the mighty crags on top of Suggit's shell, while the forearm-headed yetis fled to the dark seams separating each of the shell's segments. Sheltered by Suggit's shell, the yetis could freely squabble amongst one another with only a moderate amount of fear for the weather.
"They grow up so fast."
"I think it's missing something..." One head stretched its long neck out. With its tongue and teeth, the head combed the hair of the forearm-headed yeti, making them curlier than that of the shoulder-headed yeti.
"...Shit, they're probably gonna die without like... ecosystems or something."
"We should get on that one."
"What would they eat? Each other?"
"Exactly. They'll make due with what they got."
"I'm afraid nothing can survive on itself. Not even the Tumor-Men we made a while ago."
"They were a cute race, but the cuteness was their undoing."
"I for one liked the penis-men we had."
"I like trains."
"We'll need somewhere for them to find food and shelter. Something for the seams and something for the segments."
"I was thinking 'disease-ridden swamps' and 'inhospitable monster-infested mountains.'"
"I've always been a fan of inexplicably dead forests myself."
"Excellent idea. We shall have to omit some of the monsters and diseases for now, however-- we're just about out of sacred clay."
"Pity. Hippos and hydras as usual?"
"What if our ecosystem was fully yeti-derived? Could we swing that? You know, hippo-like yetis, small flying yetis, that sort of thing?"
"Remember when we created those trees which bore fist-shaped fruit that punched you in the face if you picked it wrong?"
"Man, now I'm hungry. Where'd we put our lunchbox?"
"Aaah those were fun. As for the lunchbox... I'm not sure."
"Okay, so fistfruit trees, fist-sized amo-"
"Wait. Waitwaitwait."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Water bears. The size of hippos."
"Yard-long whelks with poisoned talons?"
"Oh, that's way better than what I was thinking. I was going to vote for trees that grew poisonous jellyfish."
"I for one thought we should have create those penis-bushes like we always do."
"Okay, so we got the yard-long whelks, the fist-trees, macrobacteria, the water bears, the mini-hydras, and of course the noble, mean-spirited mountain hippo."
"It's a start, I suppose. I think we've got enough clay to make some of all of those."
The many heads of Un watched The Land sink with vague disinterest. One tutted disappointedly and addressed the rest of himself. Another discussion had begun.
"Look at the way the island's sinking. It's killing everything."
"Speaking of killing, we might want to get a jumpstart on that whole 'creating life' thing. Something that can survive anything would be good."
"We should start with another turtle."
"Turtles lay eggs, right?"
"Do they always have to?"
"I always thought they spawned from their shells."
"Eggs are important to all turtles! It's the very first test of their existence! Removing the egg would make them weak!"
"So clearly, the eggs must be made out of fire."
"The fire would provide too much protection."
"Wait, wait, what if we make it lay eggs that don't hatch turtles?"
"You mean... eggs that hatch yetis?"
"Eggs that hatch yeti savages."
"And then those breathe fire, yes?"
"I was thinking "innate knowledge of savagery, always frustrated."
"Would that really give us the most bang for our buck?"
"What if we made everything hate them? Like, everything. Plants and the like too. I'm thinking that'll give us some nice pressure, keep them adapting."
"Even the turtle?"
"ESPECIALLY the turtle."
"So, what you're suggesting is... a race of yeti who are loathed by all, know nothing but savagery, and lay eggs?"
"Well, that savagery will quickly evolve into hunting, spears, tribes, that sort of thing."
"And there's a problem with that?"
"Do we want tools? Tools seem a little weak."
"If those bastards can make them, then they can do the tools."
"Yeah, but remember the time we made the race that constantly mutated? That was just... weird."
"Tools are an excellent way to provide pressure. It ensures that our little dearies can kill each other when there's nothing else that can."
"Nay. They should be able to be extremely adaptive to the environment. Not strong enough to lift a mountain? Keep trying to pick it up- no, that would be too strong- let's have it so that each time they're beaten, the get a slight power boost. Then maybe the strongest ones can even transform if they're lucky."
"Hold on, we're neglecting the hippos. They gotta be able to adapt to murderyetis with spears."
"Hehehe, murderyetis."
"Okay, wait, wait. I have an idea."
"Does it involve more murder done by the hippos and yetis?"
"Yes, okay, what if-"
"What if not?"
"-What if we made more than one kind of yeti?"
"Novel. Continue..."
"And we made them fight..."
"Over which one had the right to live?"
"Like, black yetis and white yetis or north and south yetis or something, okay."
"We could do a rainbow of yetis."
"And then we tell the black yetis that the white yetis are evil, and we tell the white yetis that the black yetis are evil, and we make them fight forever."
"Mm, that might work. Does anyone know where the sacred clay is?"
A head reaches out its obscenely long tongue to grab a jar of gray, goopy subtance.
Nodding obligingly, another head clumsily attempted to simultaneously hold it and unscrew the lid.
There was an unpleasant shattering sound.
"Shit, I dropped it on the board."
"Eh, let the turtle handle it."
"The turtle knows best. That's how we made him, right?"
"I thought we made him to be angry and hate everyone."
"Exactly. He knows best."
"Well it looks pretty nettled."
With baffling style and grace, Suggit mashed and spread the glass-encrusted mound of sacred clay around its immediate area. Globs of clay dutifully formed themselves into vaguely humanoid shapes with two heads. As the dumpy clay figures built themselves up, details and colors began forming. Matted hair and sinewy muscle billowed forth across the clay humanoids' bodies, like a flood of testosterone across a plains. With an air of satisfaction, the clay humanoids stood tall, yetis all.
Curiously, it seemed that, after the clay had formed itself into a suitable shape, it began adding meaningless and absurd additions. Exactly half of the yeti population had its second head located squarely on its right shoulderblade. The other half had its second head located on its right forearm. Other than this strange differentiation, the yeti were almost entirely alike. They ate the same food, walked the same way, and could even freely reproduce between each race.
Suggit the World Turtle looked upon his work and huffed violently, clearly disgusted. As the mighty breath of life and disappointment spread over the yetis, they each sprang to life in turn. Wonder and amazement filled the air, at least until one shoulder-headed yeti had the poor fortune to look upon a forearm-headed yeti. Mustering a spectacular amount of horror for a two-headed apeman, the shoulder-headed yeti howled in rage at his cosmetically-different brother. United by the positioning of their heads, the yeti split themselves into two militantly-opposed groups: the master race with heads on their shoulders, and the Un-chosen people with heads on their forearms. Already, conflict had arisen in the world's first race. All was as it should be.
The heads of Un looked at their people with nothing but satisfaction, and cheerfully watched as the world's first race war erupted. The shoulder-headed yetis fled to the mighty crags on top of Suggit's shell, while the forearm-headed yetis fled to the dark seams separating each of the shell's segments. Sheltered by Suggit's shell, the yetis could freely squabble amongst one another with only a moderate amount of fear for the weather.
"They grow up so fast."
"I think it's missing something..." One head stretched its long neck out. With its tongue and teeth, the head combed the hair of the forearm-headed yeti, making them curlier than that of the shoulder-headed yeti.
"...Shit, they're probably gonna die without like... ecosystems or something."
"We should get on that one."
"What would they eat? Each other?"
"Exactly. They'll make due with what they got."
"I'm afraid nothing can survive on itself. Not even the Tumor-Men we made a while ago."
"They were a cute race, but the cuteness was their undoing."
"I for one liked the penis-men we had."
"I like trains."
"We'll need somewhere for them to find food and shelter. Something for the seams and something for the segments."
"I was thinking 'disease-ridden swamps' and 'inhospitable monster-infested mountains.'"
"I've always been a fan of inexplicably dead forests myself."
"Excellent idea. We shall have to omit some of the monsters and diseases for now, however-- we're just about out of sacred clay."
"Pity. Hippos and hydras as usual?"
"What if our ecosystem was fully yeti-derived? Could we swing that? You know, hippo-like yetis, small flying yetis, that sort of thing?"
"Remember when we created those trees which bore fist-shaped fruit that punched you in the face if you picked it wrong?"
"Man, now I'm hungry. Where'd we put our lunchbox?"
"Aaah those were fun. As for the lunchbox... I'm not sure."
"Okay, so fistfruit trees, fist-sized amo-"
"Wait. Waitwaitwait."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Water bears. The size of hippos."
"Yard-long whelks with poisoned talons?"
"Oh, that's way better than what I was thinking. I was going to vote for trees that grew poisonous jellyfish."
"I for one thought we should have create those penis-bushes like we always do."
"Okay, so we got the yard-long whelks, the fist-trees, macrobacteria, the water bears, the mini-hydras, and of course the noble, mean-spirited mountain hippo."
"It's a start, I suppose. I think we've got enough clay to make some of all of those."
Don't worry, Un's got nothing against Shade- he plays for fun, and watching some of the stuff Shade pulls probably gives at least a few heads a chuckle.
<Snipped quote by clanjos>
The gods aren't supposed to know about Shade.
Well, there's two things that don't make sense about that:
1. Un's got like, a thousand heads. If Shade exists within range of game-playing range, he gets seen.
2. As God of Conflict, Un knows when something comes into conflict with something else, as well as what the two things in conflict are. Since Shade has apparently been doing the corruption thing, he's come into conflict with the gods. QED, Un knows who he is.
As for the turtle, I'll change it to approximate Belgium-Size.
As usual, Un's heads were arguing. New ones popped out from the giant's shaggy white fur with every stray thought. Eyes looked about the place, catching every stray movement in their attempt to amuse themselves.
"Don't we usually start with a landmass so we don't have to waste time making a giant archipelago or something?"
"Why do we come here? Everyone's always so pretentious. Plus when we say anything they jump down our throats and star screeching at us."
"We should make an Island Chain. Every individual island is shaped like a penis. The archipelago itself is a vaguely phallus shaped connect-the-dots puzzle."
"Do we have enough land for the archipelago?"
"Who cares?"
"An archipelago may or may not be as potentially destructive as a river delta. You still have (roughly) the same amount of water."
"Our continent should be a giant angry snapping turtle with three heads."
"What? Why would we ever do that?"
"Because those fuckers are vicious!"
"What we need is to sink the land of everyone we don't like."
"Mayhaps discretion would be the better part of valor, here? Were we to play it safe, we could build a favorable rapport with our-- if you'll excuse the shaky terminology-- allies. From then, we could act unimpeded. What say you?"
"As long as that spooky asshole Shade doesn't show up, it should be fine."
"Hold on, go back. What was that about turtles?"
"Something about a continent, I believe."
"Yeah, you know what? Every time we play they do mundane shit like ISLANDS or FORESTS."
"Screw that, let's get fantastical up in here!"
And so, consensus among the clamoring heads was reached. With the snap of a thousand fingers, a tremendous shape rose up from the waters- a turtle about the size of four of the existing islands. As it yawned, the ocean flowed into its gaping central maw. Beneath the waves, the shadow of two more heads could be seen.
"This is our avatar, the World Turtle Suggit. Gonna have some niiiiice selection pressure born from him."
"Don't we usually start with a landmass so we don't have to waste time making a giant archipelago or something?"
"Why do we come here? Everyone's always so pretentious. Plus when we say anything they jump down our throats and star screeching at us."
"We should make an Island Chain. Every individual island is shaped like a penis. The archipelago itself is a vaguely phallus shaped connect-the-dots puzzle."
"Do we have enough land for the archipelago?"
"Who cares?"
"An archipelago may or may not be as potentially destructive as a river delta. You still have (roughly) the same amount of water."
"Our continent should be a giant angry snapping turtle with three heads."
"What? Why would we ever do that?"
"Because those fuckers are vicious!"
"What we need is to sink the land of everyone we don't like."
"Mayhaps discretion would be the better part of valor, here? Were we to play it safe, we could build a favorable rapport with our-- if you'll excuse the shaky terminology-- allies. From then, we could act unimpeded. What say you?"
"As long as that spooky asshole Shade doesn't show up, it should be fine."
"Hold on, go back. What was that about turtles?"
"Something about a continent, I believe."
"Yeah, you know what? Every time we play they do mundane shit like ISLANDS or FORESTS."
"Screw that, let's get fantastical up in here!"
And so, consensus among the clamoring heads was reached. With the snap of a thousand fingers, a tremendous shape rose up from the waters- a turtle about the size of four of the existing islands. As it yawned, the ocean flowed into its gaping central maw. Beneath the waves, the shadow of two more heads could be seen.
"This is our avatar, the World Turtle Suggit. Gonna have some niiiiice selection pressure born from him."
I did say SOME of them Vahir. No need to get angry.
Hey, no conflict unless Un allows it! Speaking of, almost done with the post. Frankly I'm shocked by how mundane some of the actions so far have been.
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