Dark Jack

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

Same clinic, same situation as Decimate's character is about to wake up in, with its current state approximately summarized here, albeit for another character.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

Most things I generally won't comment on, like minor typos (like accidentally writing "taunt" instead of "taut") or small grammatical errors that aren't necessarily confusing, but what catches my attention about your writing is the general lack of flow between your sentences. When I read your CS the sentences felt somewhat disconnected from each other.

Example

Nigel is a very intimidating looking figure from the neck down. Taunt muscles more comparable to that of a wild ape as opposed to a human. His sickly pale skin is adorned in brown hair throughout and riddled with many scars, some large and some minor. His head is a complete departure from his intimidating physique. Nigel has larger, kind looking eyes, well worn laugh lines and overall soft features giving him a naturally jolly look. He wears glasses though they are only for reading from longer distances. His eye affliction is very minor allowing him to do well enough without them. His light brown hair is a meticulously kept middle part complete with thick side burns and a well waxed, curled moustache.

Essentially reads as a list of his appearance being:
Nigel is a very intimidating looking figure from the neck down.
-Taunt muscles more comparable to that of a wild ape as opposed to a human.
-His sickly pale skin is adorned in brown hair throughout and riddled with many scars, some large and some minor.
His head is a complete departure from his intimidating physique.
-Nigel has larger, kind looking eyes, well worn laugh lines and overall soft features giving him a naturally jolly look.
-He wears glasses though they are only for reading from longer distances.
-His eye affliction is very minor allowing him to do well enough without them.
-His light brown hair is a meticulously kept middle part complete with thick side burns and a well waxed, curled moustache.

Had I written it, I might have constructed the paragraph a little differently for better flow... something like:
Nigel is a very intimidating looking figure from the neck down, with taut muscles more comparable to those of a wild ape as opposed to a human. He has sickly pale skin adorned in brown hair throughout, riddled with many scars, large and minor alike. His head, however, is a complete departure from his intimidating physique; Nigel has larger, kind looking eyes, well worn laugh lines and overall soft features, giving him a naturally jolly look. He wears glasses, though they are only for reading from longer distances; this affliction is very minor, allowing him to do well enough without them. His light brown hair is a meticulously kept middle part, complete with thick side burns and a well waxed, curled moustache.
The bold and underlined bits are the main things I changed.

Am I making sense? I hope I am. It's nothing terrible, it's just something I noticed.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

It's quite all right. The beauty of (false) Paleblood Hunters is that the memory loss from metamorphosis allows them to be as fleshed out as you want them to be; they may remember a lot and/or be from Yharnam, or they may remember nothing and be from a foreign land, essentially leaving them as much of a blank slate as the player character from the game.

There's nothing in particular that stands out as problematic, so the character is accepted. That said, would you mind if I offered a little constructive criticism? It's okay if you would prefer that I keep it to myself.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP Recruitment Thread

It is possible to be infected with false Paleblood before becoming a Hunter, thus effectively making you a false Paleblood Hunter, yes... though it will probably be a lot more challenging. The batch of false Paleblood Hunters currently under metamorphosis or in the currently active scene were created en masse as a test of the treatment, to see how well and reliably it worked across a broad range of subjects. Anyone receiving the treatment to become a false Paleblood Hunter henceforth would do so after the procedure had been tested, meaning that the Healing Church would already know that it has a high probability of working, which in turn will mean that the church will be a lot more selective about who they decide to effectively turn into immortal soldiers.

A character would need to either be very highly favored and deeply trusted by the Healing Church to receive such an offer (as opposed to just being made a Hunter, which they would be much more eager to accept), or they would need to steal the means to infect themselves with false Paleblood and then become a Hunter.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP Recruitment Thread

Yes, the RP is indeed still open to new applications and recruiting. Don't worry too much about the advanced tag on the RP; as I already wrote in the interest check writing ability (and/or willingness to put in huge amounts of effort) isn't paramount, and not being constantly active is also acceptable as long as you keep us/me informed so that people don't end up waiting for you to post before doing so themselves, and (in extreme cases) allowing some mild puppeting of the character to keep the story moving.

Feel free to throw in an application over in the OOC whenever you like, and to speak up if you need information or advice.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

My apologies for triple-posting, but there's something I wanted to bring up with you guys that I have been pondering for a great long while but haven't been able to decide on: the name of the country in which the game takes place in. Yharnam is the primary city and the current seat of power and likely to always have been its capital, and I'm personally pretty confident that at some point, (some of) the country was (part of) Pthumeru, though it obviously isn't recognized as such anymore. But none of the lore actually names the land.

So since it didn't feel right for me to just think up a name on my own, I wanted to ask for suggestions. What do you think the country should be called, at least for the RP?

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

Just so it's known here and to you, @DrabberRogue, Decimate has informed me that it'll probably be a week or so before he can do his opening post, so you can feel free to post in the meantime.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

Oh, it's not Ludolf's age I took issue with; that seems to fit pretty well with the timeline. My only issue, as I concluded at the end of that paragraph, seems to be that the use of "several" in that context is confusing and misleading, because it would typically be used for a smaller number. To me, at least, "several years" would not be 29, but rather 3-9 or so (with bias towards the lower-to-middle of that range). It's one of those nebulous terms that don't really have an exact definition aside from "not many," where "many" itself isn't exactly defined either. Still, I would probably say that 29 years is closer to "many" than it is "several." It may just be me, though.

And no, your character doesn't interfere specifically with anything I had planned... not in a destructive way, at least. I mostly wanted to know more about the two background characters for plotting, as I said, as living "relatives" - even if not actually related - are always worth keeping in mind for the GM; all interpersonal connections are, really.

Now, with that little bit of confusion out of the way I think you're free to start posting IC. Do you want me to write an introductory post "placing" your character into the scene, or do you want to do that yourself? You can use this post as a pretty close descriptor of what Ludolf will see when he awakens; the post was originally written for another player character, but that player only ever posted once IC, so I feel that it's not too much of a stretch to say that the character relapsed into coma immediately after waking up.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

Hmm... Okay, just a couple of small things:

Race: (False) Paleblood Hunter

So which is it? I need to know that for my handling of the character, at least, even if you don't want to make it publicly known. Just as a reminder, (false) Paleblood is my shorthand way of referencing "false Paleblood or real Paleblood," which means it can reference both the false and genuine disease. I'd assume that you mean false Paleblood Hunter since you included the parenthesis, but I do need that part clarified.

Ludolf Reinhardt was born several years before the events of the Night of the Bloodmoon

Age: 34

This RP takes place about five years after the events of the game

First sentence in the OP

So, something about this timeline doesn't add up. "Several" is defined by the dictionary as "more than two but not many." In this case, however, "several" would appear to mean 29. From the rest of the CS it seems as though it's simply the word "several" that confuses me, really, because it seems to acknowledge that a long time has passed and seems to generally have a fairly orderly timeline.

Is Ludolf's caretaker and/or his adoptive sister (for lack of a better term) characters that we would be familiar with, or also your original creations? If so, if you have any further details on them feel free to write me a PM so I can maybe use them in my plotting.

Other than that everything seems to be in order. Mostly I just need to ascertain whether Ludolf is a Paleblood Hunter or a false Paleblood Hunter, and then the character is accepted.

Night of the Hunt - a Bloodborne RP

Well now! Heh, as luck would have it I have actually been contacted by someone else in PM who wants to join, and who has been somewhat at peace with the idea of being the only player, at least for a while, given that no one else had been active here for... quite a while.

To that end I'm not only interested in continuing the RP, I fully intend to do so. However... I have to be honest. I always maintain that real life comes first and that it's all right if you can't always post within the one-week window I'd ideally like to stay inside regarding new post frequency (which is not even to say that I expect each player to post once a week, but rather that the RP as a whole gets at least one post a week), and that absence is all right as long as it is informed absence (that is, let us know if you're not going to be able to post for a while).
But disappearing entirely for weeks and months at a time without a word isn't going to work, especially when it happens so regularly that it's become a pattern. I've been checking you profile intermittently, and you haven't even been logging in to RPGuild. Going forward, if you want to give it another go, I need you to promise me to get better at not disappearing. Be active, and if you can't, at least drop a sentence or two to let us know it'll be a while before next post.