Dead Cruiser

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

#5

E A R T H ' S M I G H T I E S T IV

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Thor ran his a hand through his long hair, wearily. This had been a very long day so far, and it was far from over. This old man clearly wasn't understanding what Thor was saying, or was choosing not to. He was either a fool, suicidal, or both, and Thor didn't appreciate his callow disregard for the formidable threat that the Allfather posed to his rebellious world. Furthermore, he wasn't even the leader of the Midgardians, which left Thor wondering why he was wasting his time to begin with. As the old man moved to leave the room, Thor's earlier feeling that this was some kind of trap resurfaced. With a single, fluid motion, he swiped his axe from the floor and flung it across the room at the old man. It was not truly aimed at him, however, as the axe passed a scant inch from his head and wedged itself in the doorframe, barring it. The material of the doorway and the room itself seemed to be different, and the axe dug in deep.

"If you don't wish to be conquered, then listen to me now. This is the dialogue, these are the negotiations. If you aren't going to take me seriously, then I can't help you. The Allfather won't care about your presidents and ministers; when Odin comes they'll be the first ones on the gallows, feeding the crows. He doesn't care a single lick if you're united or not, he'll send you all to Hel just the same." He sat back down, inviting the old man to join him again.

"I know your Gods of Olympus; they are similar to us, but very different as well. We've had an accord for as long as Asgard has claimed your world as one of its Nine Realms, because we all know that a war between Gods would reduce your planet to a smoking ruin. That's the destiny that you're flirting with at the moment. Odin isn't some space-trash that comes knocking every so often to loot your primitive world. He's the God of War. We don't have alien invasions on Asgard because aliens know better than to invite their race's extinction by trifling with him." He looked the old man in the eye, doing his best to convey his genuine sincerity. "Whether you believe me or not will make no difference once the ships arrive. I've seen them already, all of Asgard prepares for war." While Thor wasn't sure that the ships he had seen being loaded with supplies and soldiers were destined for Midgard, he didn't discount the possibility. "It could be days, maybe weeks, months, even years, but when they come it will be the blackest day in the history of your world. For Odin it will be Wednesday."

Thor sighed, leaning back in his chair. This is what he had been reduced to already; trying to talk the Midgardians out of suicide on a planetary scale. "To be completely honest, I'm surprised that I haven't heard about these aliens sooner. We should have been here, defending our territory from cosmic rabble. You have my sincere apology that we did not come, but I am suspecting there was a reason for this. The Allfather is also the God of Wisdom, he takes no action without tremendous forethought." Thor took a moment, collecting his thoughts, before looking to the old man with as much sympathy as he could muster. "Perhaps this is all part of his plan, allowing your world to become lax in its tithes and obligations. Perhaps not. What I know is that whenever I traveled to one of the Realms with my father, he arrived expecting a world in compliance, and a sacrifice in his honor. If he is given those things when he arrives, or you can give him the appearance of compliance... Hopefully we can avoid scouring your world." Thor held out his empty hands, a gesture meant to covey his sincerity and lack of desire to see Midgard wiped clean of human life. "I like your world. Honest! You haven't been a very gracious host since I arrived, what with the threats and this obvious cage, but I don't hold that against all of your people."

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

#4

E A R T H ' S M I G H T I E S T III

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Thor had been somewhat impressed with the sight of the ship, parked nimbly in the narrow city street. So, Midgardians had starships now, interesting. Somehow this world continued to surprise him. This was an exciting era for this world, the impending conquest of the stars, and they would need the Allfather's blessing more than ever. With that thought in mind, he boarded the ship, ducking down so that he fit into the cramped cabin. Now that he was inside it, he was less impressed. It felt uncomfortable and primitive, and that feeling only deepened after the thing took off. While Thor figured he would probably survive falling from their altitude, he still did not like thinking about how likely it felt, and distracted himself with idle chatter.

While this envoy was not much of a conversationalist, only answering in clipped, one word sentences (if he answered at all), Thor prattled onto him none the less. He regaled the man with tales of valor and glory as he had done for the vikings in the bar he had just left. Occasionally he would subtly slip in a probe to gauge the status of Earth's defenses, such as asking Banner what Earth's planetary defenses were. He never got answers to those. After a little more chatter about his baby brother Balder, Thor snapped his fingers as he remembered something. Thunder rumbled outside.

"I haven't introduced myself still. Pardon my rudeness. I am Thor, Son of Odin, Prince of Asgard, and God of Thunder. And you? I don't want to keep calling you 'lackey.'"

Soon after, they were landing in the hangar bay of a much larger ship, and once more he was struck with a mix of appreciation for human ingenuity, as well as nausea from the unstable rocking of the ship underfoot. Stepping off the craft into the hangar, Thor noticed that all of the Midgardians around him were wearing masks, presumably to because they could not breathe at this altitude, and were tethered to the floor. Only he and Banner walked about without precautions against the thin air nor being sucked out the hangar door; Thor thought this interesting, and followed Banner through the ship's winding corridors. Mercifully the interior of this mothership was not as cramped as the craft he had arrived on, with wide halls meant to accommodate smaller vehicles and heavy machinery.

Thor did his best to keep track of his position on the ship as Banner led him along, and as far as he could tell where they stopped was somewhere on the ship's underbelly. Banner directed him into a small, bare room, with only on old man and two flimsy chairs within. There were no windows in the room, and every surface was metal. It immediately smelled like a trap to Thor, but he stepped inside anyway. He took a seat in front of the old man as he felt obliged to do, and he felt like he was sitting in a child's play-chair as it groaned under his weight.

When the old man said his piece, Thor pulled a face. "If that's what your lackey told you," he said, gesturing back toward to door to indicate Banner, "Then he's misled you, as I've said no such thing. Your Earth has had a king since long before I was born." Glancing back to the door to see if Banner was listening, he added as a whispered aside, "I would keep an eye on him anyway, he seems mistrustful."

Thor cleared his throat and straightened up in his chair, making it buckle slightly further. "Now, if you truly are the claimant lord of the Earth, or he is at least listening, and I too have not been misled, I will say this," He was about to proclaim the kingship of Odin over the Nine Realms and relieve this fool of his head, but he had a rare moment of reflection. If he had cut the envoy's head off, he wouldn't have gotten this audience. Talking had gotten him this far, maybe it could get him further. He felt very good about this idea, as it seemed to ring true with his father's order that he learn to rule justly. "I come to you as a savior, not a destroyer." Thor finished after a breath. "My father, the King of Asgard, has been King of your Earth, Midgard, for eons. Human kingdoms rise and fall, but they know how to pay tribute to the Allfather, or at least they used to. If Odin were to come here, now, he would be deathly cross with what he found, and many lives would end before his wrath was sated. It's in the best interest of you and all of your people to resume paying tribute to my father, your king."

The old man sat across from Thor did not seem impressed, studying him silently. Thor sighed heavily, running his hands through his golden hair as he tried to think of how to impress the enormity of the threat posed to them upon this man. He tried to think of what his father would do, but only conclusion he came to was to tell a long-winded story. Worth a shot, he supposed. "I have been to this world before, many times in fact, just... not lately." In truth, at the time of Thor's banishment he was already midway through a thousand-year probation on using the Bifrost due to some... overzealous escapades on Vanaheim. "Once, I rode at the side of a brilliant general of your people. We battled through your deserts on the backs of... what were they called... Ah yes, Elephants! Beasts worthy of Asgard!" He realized he was getting distracted and got back on topic. "This Midgardian conqueror was as fierce as any I've met, and I told him of the glories of Valhalla, and that he could join us in battle across the Nine Realms. You know what he did? He broke down in tears, as he had not known there were other worlds, and he had not managed to conquer one." Thor paused, seemingly for effect, but mostly because he was trying to remember his point. "What that taught me was that you Midgardians, even the champions of your people, you are not ready for what will come to your world if you do not kneel. Asgard is a power that has conquered worlds many times more powerful than your own, and if you are lucky, Odin will only send Asgard's legions, and not draw auxiliaries from the other realms under his command."

Thor once again tried to get a read on the old man, and again was getting nothing. He groaned, standing back up. "Alright, to Hel with this." Fast as a lightning bolt, he drew his axe from the space between space where Loki had hidden it, and threw it to the floor between himself and the old man. It stuck fast into the floor, its blade digging only a thin groove into the floor (much to Thor's surprise), but its exquisite construction and balance allowed it to stand on its blade regardless. The rest of Thor's disguise disappeared at that moment in a flash of greenish light, Loki's glamour pulling back to reveal Thor, the barbarian prince of Asgard, arrayed in furs and maille, iron gauntlets, a heavy golden belt, and a red cloak that whipped like a whirlwind blew through it.

"I bear you and your people no ill will, so let us make this as bloodless as possible. Send your most powerful champion to face me in battle, and when I best him, you will see that your struggle is in vain. I will show you the strength of Asgard and the wisdom of rule under the Allfather. What say you? Bring me Earth's mightiest hero."

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

Quick n dirty post from me to keep Thor moving. Waiting on some other things for Doctor Fate.

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

#3

E A R T H ' S M I G H T I E S T II

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Thor watched with some amusement as this human squirmed under his attention. "Not a god," was right, he was practically a worm. Thor felt almost sad, looking at him as he prattled away about things he clearly didn't understand. The poor man's sense of scope was so small that he thought Odin ruled over a measly few kingdoms on Midgard. It was clear to Thor that the Midgardians had completely forgotten their place if this was how they remembered their ruler and Allfather. The pieces were beginning to fall into place in his mind, he was seeing why Odin had been in such a hurry to send him. Thor's contemptuous gaze returned to the man in front of him, prompting the tiny mortal to take a step back out of fear. Thor could smell the fear in his sweat, and was sorely tempted to unsheathe Jarnbjorn and relieve the man of his head for daring to profane the Allfather.

However, then he mentioned his boss. While Thor wasn't keen on being bossed and led around by Midgardians, he was intrigued to see where Banner would lead him. If there was a hierarchy to whatever was ruling Midgard in Odin's absence, Thor wanted to see who was at the top. It seemed more likely then that he would meet a God, or whoever was currently claiming to be king of Earth, or at least someone that had a better clue of what was going on than the poor fool in front of him. Then, once he met that person and got a better grasp of the situation, he would kill them and take his place as regent. Simple.

"Oh, of course." Thor said, his look of disdain vanishing in an instant, and replaced with a genial grin. "You should have told me you were an envoy first. No sense in getting all riled up at you if you're just a lackey." Thor slapped Banner on the back convivially as he was led out of the bar. "Lucky you said something, I was just about to cut your head off."

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

@Hound55 Missing the forest for the trees here, the issue is the racefaking that was (and continues to be) instrumental to the career of one of the most influential people in the comic industry.

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

@Sep A big part of my cyncism toward capeshit is because I hate the actual companies Marvel and DC, insofar as the people responsible for their comics divisions, as well as their editiors. They're uniformly disgusting people with wildly unethical business practices and routinely shield abusers in the industry.

My favorite example is Marvel's current editor-in-chief, Chester Cebulski, got his foot in the door at Marvel by pretending to be a Japanese man named Akira Yoshida, and he's tried to keep up the lie to this day by pretending that "Akira" was a different real person that worked for Marvel.

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

<Snipped quote by Dead Cruiser>

Disagree entirely on this one. Thor and Hulk have both had some amazing material within that time.

@Sep

The problem that cape comics have created for themselves is that trying to make a story about one of these characters is a self-defeating enterprise. You can't introduce any stakes because none of the characters can die, or if they do they'll come back, or if they don't we'll just meet one from an alternate universe, or the whole story will be made pointless when the next writer comes onboard. They're too tied up in smelling their own farts caretaking their very lucrative "modern myths" that they forgot that myths are supposed to have a point, or a conclusion.

This is why manga is beating the big two in (last I checked) basically every market on the planet.

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

My unpopular onion is that printed cape comics, the big two if nothing else, are cesspools of worker abuse and nepotism, nobody in their editing rooms has any idea or desire to do a better job, and the medium has basically not had anything new or interesting to say for at least twenty years.

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

#2

E A R T H ' S M I G H T I E S T

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"-so the next thing I know, I'm on the Bifrost," Thor drunkenly pantomimed the Rainbow Bridge punching between realities, "Zwoop! And then I'm here. No family, no home, and," he belched loudly, and the bartender refilled his outstretched mug, "And no money." The bartender had let him start a tab, which Thor was immensely grateful for, and the barkeep regretted doing so as soon as Thor had drained his first keg. Still, he continued to serve Thor as he seemed to be handling a lethal amount of alcohol just fine, and his Armani suit suggested they could recoup the funds from him once he reconciled with his parents back wherever he came from.

"What a bastard." Said the man to Thor's right, who had been listening to his sob story and gently massaging Thor's muscular arm all the while. "If your father doesn't appreciate you for who you are, then you don't owe him the time of day."

The bartender added, "I never got on with my old man, neither. He kicked me out at fifteen, I never looked back. I think you're better off, kid." He patted Thor warmly on the cheek, and the God of Thunder merely smiled sadly.

"Is Bifrost a boat or a plane?" The man on Thor's opposite side asked

"It's a," Thor wracked his inebriated brains trying to think of how to possibly describe the Bifrost to these mortals. After a noticeable pause, he made a vague gesture with his hands, saying, "Well, you know."

"Don't you have any other family? Besides your brother that ripped you off, I mean."

"Not really." Thor replied, "Father made my older sister, Hela, regent of Niflheim when I was just a kid, and I haven't seen her since." A small epiphany occurred to Thor, as he began to notice the common theme between his banishment to Midgard, and Hela "ruling" over Niflheim. He wondered if all of Asgard had been told that Thor was now regent of Midgard, and if that had been his father's true intention.

It was at that moment that another man entered the bar, and Thor spared a sideways glance to see who it was. Some mortal, he reckoned, staring at one of those devices that all the other Midgardians never seemed to look up from, even as they were walking around. Thor didn't pay the man any mind at first, but then he called out into the bar, telling them his name was Bruce Banner, and saying that everyone but Thor should leave. Much to Thor's amazement, they all obeyed him, some of them hurrying away like the man was death itself. Thor stayed in his seat and drained what was in his mug, before calling out to the departing men, "Thank you! You're all very kind. Carlo, don't forget to tell your husband hello for me!"

The stranger, this Bruce Banner, stepped around the bar and poured Thor another drink, which he accepted gratefully. This guy couldn't be all bad, he figured. However, what he had to say next was very intriguing to the exiled prince. "My planet," the man had said, a very curious choice of words. Thor stared at him for a few moments, trying to puzzle things out, knocking back another few pints of this thin, watery Earth-beer as he did so. It helped him think.

Once the mug was empty again, Thor belched loudly again before saying, "You must be some new god of the Earth, huh?" He said, rising unsteadily to his feet. God or not, Thor towered over Bruce, his arms twice as thick around as Banner's throat. "Emboldened by the absence of this world's true masters. 'While the cat's away, the mice will play.' No more of that, your rulers have returned. The Allfather conquered this world when you and I were just motes of cosmic stardust, my -hic- tiny friend. As regent of Midgard, I'd be more than happy to conquer it for him again if I need to."

Sensation & Wonder: An Absolute Comics Roleplay [DC & Marvel One Universe Style Game]

@Sep Oh I'm just joking a bit. There's a reason Selvig's dialogue is maroon, and the "bikers" are blue and black. I actually had to change the blue to something lighter before I finished the post already.

I'll mess with it when I get home from work, formatting on mobile is hellish.