Drache

OOC Gender Restrictions

and specify anything further than the usual 18+ stipulation (which is about as naive as the male and female thing, but legally has legs to stand on sometimes, and is something I can easily excuse).

@ArenaSnow

I agree with you there. There's no real way to verify this but at least if I specify that I only do sex RPs with adults and someone lies to me about their age it's their fault not mine if they don't like what they are reading.

OOC Gender Restrictions

Hahah sorry I'm so salty. Maybe because I have seen people who are amazing RPers capable of playing multiple genders/sexualities get turned down by people who have this particular brand of stick stuck up their asses.

You're right, I think it's something that happens more often in the 1x1 section. I have seen GMs open up group adventure RPs for 'guys only' a few times, using "girls can't do adventure RPs because they only focus on romance" as an excuse. Which is completely wrong, but also begs the question (again) of how they verify that those applying are actually men. XD

These days I don't have time for group RPs so I have been more in the 1x1 section and have been seeing this crap so much. DX

Anyways. Cheers to @DeadDrop for starting this thread.

OOC Gender Restrictions

@Chasebloodcrest

I think I have clarified my reasoning in multiple posts on this thread. If you can't keep up that's your problem, not mine.

When I asked you how you verify your partner's gender so that you could make sure they were female your answer was that you Skype call them because "voices don't lie." Which, while creepy, is also not a totally effective method either, funnily enough. You still have yet to explain why you want female players for adult-oriented RPs. I mean...you're well within your rights to leave the discussion as a means of deflecting but it does actually sound kind of bad...

OOC Gender Restrictions

@ArenaSnow

I don't think having a discussion about it in a thread specifically about this topic really counts as "harping on players". You make it sound like you disagree with the existence of this thread. Some people just haven't really thought about it before and once they have a chance to actually consider the issue they find that their minds are changed.

But you're correct. Some people are sexist and they will not change, as evidenced by certain people on this thread. But talking about it isn't just about them. It gives others a chance to consider the issue and recognize how problematic those people can be. It exposes the flawed logic of making those kinds of rules and helps people stay away from these bad RPers.

In many cases, people who post "looking for female players" or whatever are just guys who are new to RP and maybe assume that everyone tends to only play a character that matches their own gender. But a quick "hey, do you actually care if your partner is a chick or are you just looking for a female character?" query is enough for them to change the wording of their interest check.

I don't think doing that is being "part of the problem". It's not like I'm going to waste my time contacting people who continue doing this even when they've been called out. And if all I've done today is help one person look a little more shrewdly at a user on this site who only wants to talk to them over Skype to find out what style genitals they have then I'd consider that a job well done.

OOC Gender Restrictions

However, I don't think that's what the thread is about. It's about whether someone is comfortable playing with a male who plays as a female, or vice versa. Honestly? Who cares. If someone is comfortable with that, cool. If they aren't, you can't guilt trip them or judge them into being comfortable. They cannot help it. It's how they see things, and at the end of the day, the role play guild is escapism. As long as they aren't being an ass about it, don't be an ass to them on what they do and do not enjoy. Roleplay with someone else.

@POOHEAD189

I care. Because "not being comfortable" is not an excuse when your partner's gender doesn't actually change anything. Would it be equally excusable if I said I wouldn't RP with anyone who is not white? If I said "no Muslims" in my rules? "Christians only?" If I said "no fags?" I mean, gays can't write straight romances, right? What about "no one over 30?" (BTW, these are all examples of ACTUAL 'preferences' I have seen on this site. Are these okay?)

Then why is "no guys" okay? Or "male players only"?

You can absolutely judge people into realizing that their thought process is flawed. I have seen it happen many times before. That's why this discussion is so important. I would even go so far as to say that the very act of putting these rules in an RP IS being an ass about it. And it often turns out that people who do this have ulterior motives, like using RP as a means of getting personally close to people. I have seen that happen too. It's naive to write all this off as "just how people see things".

OOC Gender Restrictions

This isn't about you, this is about mutual respect between him, her, you, me and us. I, as a straight man, prefer to roleplay with a female if my roleplay involved romance and adult content (happens rarely) and I find it very disrespectful to judge people just because they WANT TO ROLEPLAY WITH A FEMALE OR A MALE.

@Chasebloodcrest

Maybe you forgot about this. You said that in this circumstance you would prefer to play with females. The fact that you specified a stronger preference in an adult RP context makes it even more creepy. XD

Edit: I require proof that you are, in fact, a straight male.

Dating site? are you kidding me? what does skype have to do with dating??

@Chasebloodcrest

Please re-read the previous posts.

OOC Gender Restrictions

<Snipped quote by Drache>

Perhaps I failed to plant my point of view properly but I believe I stated beforehand >> this isn't about gender but rather, the ability to experience a beautiful journey with your roleplay partner regardless the gender, the skin color, the religion, blah blah ta da boo<<< hopefully, that will answer your questions. In my experience, both as a moderator in another roleplay app and a member in this website, gender never effected the content of my roleplays.

<Snipped quote by Drache>

You say that as if determining the gender of your partner is Stephen Hawking's equation about the black hole. I don't know about you but I speak with my partners, y'know... the-all-hi-and-how-are-you. Oh, I do skype, phone call them too and the voice doesn't lie, does it? What can I say, I'm a friendly person and I don't mind building a friendship with my partner from time to time. Don't worry, I don't force them to reveal their gender by force, we just chat and boom, a piece of cake.

@Chasebloodcrest

...are you serious? I think you're missing the entire point of this discussion.

How can you say in the same breath that you're here for the journey of the RP regardless of gender blah blah blah and then insist on only playing with female players? Does not compute.

Again, per the examples I listed above as well as DeadDrop's original comment...maybe you missed it...we're talking about people who restrict their partners based on gender UP FRONT. As in, before you've even spoken to them. I talk to my partners as well and this may seem shocking but it's quite possible to talk to each other, develop an idea for an RP, implement it, start the RP, and then get all the way to the end without the gender of my partner ever even coming up! Fuckin' amazin'!

So you insist on Skype calling all your RP partners? We're back to the dating site thing again. Creepy.

Again, still haven't heard a reason why you insist on only playing with females...

OOC Gender Restrictions

"I want to do 1x1 smexy times rp with someone good at playing female characters."

@Snipermoose

Or you could just say "Looking for the M for a MxF". That doesn't restrict anyone based on their real life circumstances and will attract players who are interested in playing the role you need.

OOC Gender Restrictions

I only role-play with Hispanic men from Guatemala. Full warning.

@Inkarnate

OOC Gender Restrictions

<Snipped quote by Drache>
I dunno... maybe you can simply talk to them like a normal human being instead of asking for their clit size. Discuss the RP, start the IC, get a few post in and find out your partner is a female with 3 children. Find out they have a certain profession or they are going through college.

@NuttsnBolts

We're not talking about talking to your partner like a normal person though. I do tend to find things out about my partners in this way. We're talking about people who state up front that they will ONLY play with a certain gender partner. That isn't allowing for any chance of getting into the RP before finding out personal details about people. That's insisting on finding out intimately personal details up front.

And this isn't about choice either. If I want to specifically choose to play with someone who has a high skill and experience with like...a battle RP, then I can list that in my interest check. Assuming that a male player is going to be my best option for that is sexism. No matter how you slice it, grouping people into gender categories based on the assumption of what kind of RP they will be best at is sexism.

I guess if you want to choose to be sexist, that's fine. Just call it what it is. You can't hide behind calling it a 'preference' or a 'choice' when your criteria is flawed.

Edit to add: I also find it disheartening that so many people would dismiss a non-binary partner out of hand. If too many people insist on finding a partner that is male or female that doesn't leave a lot of options for people who are neither.