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4 mos ago
Current Jenny Nicholson's four hour takedown of the failed Star Wars hotel is the most entertaining thing Disney Star Wars has provided in seven years
2 likes
4 mos ago
Train isn't a real band, it exists just to be played softly in clothing stores or the few malls that still exist in America. You can't convince me otherwise. RIP to the bassist though.
1 like
4 mos ago
Discord really did ruin everything, now people can't even air their grievances publicly like the good lord intended
7 likes
4 mos ago
Someone grab the lid before the worms escape the can.
4 likes
4 mos ago
The real status bar drama are the friends we made along the way.
5 likes

Bio

Look, I got lost on the way to getting some jajangmyeon and it'd be foolish to leave now.

Most Recent Posts

But I haven't gotten far enough to experience its "boss and length" fatigue, that most Triple A games seem to be guilty of nowadays.

Then again, after watching someone playing Ragnorok and listening to the obnoxious son blab on and tell you every puzzle solution in ten seconds flat, I've found no such annoyance in Elden Ring.


Elden Ring has the most boss fatigue out of any of the games in its ilk because of how many bosses are not unique or well designed. Over half the bosses are either "normal enemies but slightly spongier" or "I dunno, now there's two of them in an arena not designed for the mechanics of either one, let alone two" or the dreaded "now with gank squad". But if a player doesn't do the crazy thing and do as much of the caves and mines and catacomb mini dungeons then they're less likely to run into the sheer volume of repeat and underwhelming bosses. But because I am a crazy person who did like 95 percent of those, I really found myself liking the game less because of it. Still a totally fine game but I'm Team Bloodborne all the way still.

Ragnarok doing the Sony thing of having characters spell out the puzzle after ten seconds is made worse because everyone does it, not just Atreus and nothing is more annoying than doing a loop of an area to gather resources and also to see the fuller scope of the puzzle only to have like three people going like "HEY I WONDER IF YOU CAN FREEZE THE WATER AND MAKE IT GO SOMEWHERE ELSE". It's annoying especially because at a conference where devs talked about the 2018 game they basically said that they designed around even the lowest common denominator players can play through the game. Which, like, sure that's fine, but in a game with so many accessibility features how could they not just have a toggle that goes "party hints - reduced/off/normal" or something because goddamn. It was what I liked the least about Forbidden West, a game I loved, and it was even worse in Ragnarok - a game I think is 3/5 at best.

Jedi Survivor was good but I'm real tired of lightsaber games making the lightsaber feel like a pool noodle. I don't care if beskar is a thing or whatever, I shouldn't have to get a fuckinig bandit or stormtrooper into a stun state to be able to cut his goddamn arms off. The goddamn Wampa on Hoth didn't need to be stunned before Luke cut its goddamn hand off!

Anyway, I'm only a couple hours into Tears of the Kingdom but I think the starting tutorial island is less good than the BOTW one because of how more blatantly linear it is. It feels like it's designed for people who didn't play BOTW because now there are things that just go "HEY YOU SHOULD COOK SPICY PEPPERS FOR COLD RESISTANCE BECAUSE IT'S COLD" or "HEY IF YOU COOK THINGS YOU GET MORE BENEFIT FROM THEM" rather than it being more of an organic learning experience like in BOTW. It's weird because if someone does play this without playing BOTW then the relationship between Link and the NPCs is rather confusing because it assumes you know all about them from the first game but also the same little issues that I didn't like in BOTW still exist.

If nothing else it's proving that Banjo Kazooie Nuts n Bolts was ahead of its time.
Guardians of the Galaxy 3 was good and if nothing else it shows that the MCU really needs to let its directors have way more say on things like the script and stuff because otherwise you wind up with Ant-Man 3s or Doctor Strange 2s. Having more personal character stakes as opposed to world ending ones tends to make for more engaging movies who'da thought.
The Forbidden West DLC was fun but felt slight in terms of content (there were only three side quests! Three! And the main quest is like 4 hours!) but it was good to go back to the world since I do really enjoy those games and the lore, and this was a solid addition lore wise and serves as a nice bridge to whatever Horizon 3 will be.

And naturally it's getting review bombed because Aloy said gay rights. Gamers are nothing if not predictable.


Finally, CINEMA
Oh don't worry I dont plan on using those if anything I'd pick Lightning or Rinoa or Terra or Squall or Y'shtola or Zidane or
Yes hello I like Final Fantasy
I watched Shazam 2 since it's on VOD now and god damn if any movie deserved to flop it was that one. There were multiple parts where I had to wonder if the pandemic fucked with the filming because shots in the city were fucking devoid of any life or activity and scenes in the 'magic realm' seemed like they came from an episode of Power Rangers. And I swear the dude that plays Billy was only available for two days with how little he shows up.
Had to bring my own soundtrack to keep myself going with this one...


Not a fan of Japanese Breakfast, eh?
I saw the Mario movie.

The Mario movie is totally fine. Inoffensive (unless some licensed songs offend the sensibilities). Seth Rogen is the worst in the movie because he doesn't even try so Donkey Kong is just "Seth Rogen" and he even does his laugh. It is very thin on plot and very quick on everything to the point where sometimes it's like watching a speedrun of Mario. Zero fart jokes and zero wink at the camera ha-ha reference jokes. But on the topic of references my god the references and easter eggs in the movie is insane. Like someone could go frame by frame and still miss some that's how many there are, from names of shops or pictures on the wall or visual gags or blink and you miss it stuff. Every mainline Mario game gets referenced even if I missed the Sunshine one I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

If you want a deep plot then look elsewhere but if you have like 90 minutes to kill then it's a fun watch, doubly so if you're a Mario or classic Nintendo fan. And the remixes of Mario music are just...they're real good.

That said, Illumination would not be someone I hire to do a Zelda movie. They could do Kirby though.
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