Guin and Allison
X-Mansion: December 19th, 2020
The events that Scarlet Witch shaped left a mark on everyone, or at least that's how Allison saw it. She, herself, had been impacted in a heavy way, faced with a possible reality that she would be considered above others just because she was a mutant. That left her family, those she cared about and fought for, as less than. No one ever deserved to be thought of as "less than". That was how wars started. They came very close to one.
Not only that, but Allison got to see Oshea again. She had moved on. She had accepted his death, processed it, and moved on and then she had to alter it and bring him back into her life again. Not only that but once it was all done he had to leave again. And she was left with an empty hole in her heart. One that, she feared, would not be repaired quite so easily.
And to add to this all, she worried about Guin. Guin had been impacted heavily too. And Allison hated to admit it, but she was also jealous. Guin still had her love, but the events had shaped them. Allison had stayed more or less alone since reality shifted back, but she couldn't be away forever.
Guin had spent the day at Stark Industries. The events of House of M had shaken her, but they also had helped her - she knew what she wanted to do with her life. She had always been randomly going from one thing to the next, trying out being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent since it sounded fun and also served as a rebellion against her father, and then joining the X-Men since all of her friends were members of the group. Unlike most of those on the X-Men team, she never really had had to worry about how she would be treated by being a mutant. The team's capture by O.M.E.N. was the closest she had come to it, with the privilege of having her father be one of the leading members of the Avengers. People usually didn't think of her as a mutant - they saw her as the daughter of an Avenger, the legacy of Iron Man, the heiress to Stark Industries.
Pulling up to Xavier's mansion in a cherry red mustang, Guin was wearing a large pair of shades and a heavy winter coat. The December chill was in the air as she parked her car along the curb and turned off the ignition, the notes of Erasure's
Chains of Love dying out as well.
Allison hitched a ride with a friend. She never really sought out getting her driver's license. She had no need for it given they got around on the X-Jet or there were vast amounts of public transportation in New York. Her friend didn't bother pulling all the way into the mansion though. Despite the amount of good they had done, there was still fear evident, even amongst those she considered friends. Allison could hardly blame them.
Thanking her friend, she got out of their car, immediately feeling the chill of December. It had only just crossed her mind how close they were to the holidays. She had nearly forgotten, but was not a time to be merry? She walked the length to the gate, coming in to see a red mustang pulled up just as she saw Guin getting out of the car. Allison had a moment of shame, having just thought about the girl and how she was worried and angry at her (for no reason on both counts). She thought about turning back, but decided against it. She would have to see everyone eventually.
She walked up, eyeing the beauty of a car she had come out of.
"Hey Guin. How are you?" Simple pleasantries first. Heavy, heart-melty stuff later.
Guin took off her shades, smiling slightly at Allison. She didn't know how she was taking the entire Oshea thing - that and Guin had been pretty rude to her in the other reality.
"Not too bad, can't complain - you?" Allison gave a half-hearted shrug.
"All right for the most part. Took a break given....recent events. But now I am back. Want to head inside and out of the cold?" she offered. As much as Allison liked this time of year, she didn't much want to spend time outside unless she had to.
"Sure thing," Guin said, putting her shades on her head as she headed inside the mansion. It was a little odd to think that less than a year ago, O.M.E.N. had attacked this place and Mesmero had attempted to pit the entire team up against each other. Her ears felt like they were buzzing slightly from the telepathic murmur of having so many mutants in one place, but she had started to get used to having her new powers.
"Look, is there something you wanted to talk about?" Allison was a little taken aback at the abruptness, but then she remembered who she was talking to. However, Allison didn't know what to say. The subject was still sore. How did you tell someone you were angry at them, but also worried. How did you process feelings of jealousy and love at the same time?
"I don't know. Is there something to talk about?" She regretted it as soon as she said it, feeling herself get riled up for no reason. She sighed.
"That came out wrong. I don't know how to...talk about what happened without some emotion getting jacked up 1000%." Guin raised an eyebrow. Allison sounded way more passive-aggressive than she had expected, but they had all been through a lot. Everyone had faced uncomfortable truths and choices in that other world.
"Let's just talk about it then, okay? Screaming and crying or whatever happens... You can tell me what's on your mind." Allison took off her jacket and hung it up before she made her way to the nearby sitting room, waiting for Guin to follow. Once she had done so, Allison sunk into one of the couches there.
"Where do I begin? We went through something horrible, something that cements why I am here with the X-men in the first place. I don't want that reality to ever happen, where we consider ourselves above humans just because we have abilities. It would be so easy to say it would be better there than it is here, given the amount of hate we get despite continuing to protect and save everyone. I came very close to accepting that reality, but in the end, I needed it to change back to this one. Even if it meant losing Oshea again." Guin took her jacket off and placed it on one of the end tables, before she perched on the armrest of the sofa. It definitely wasn't kind to the furniture, but the rich weren't always the most aware of the value of keeping things in good condition when they could easily buy a new one to replace it.
"To be honest... it might happen one day. We can't stop evolution or the future - and we can't even predict whether or not mutants are the final stage of it. We might be replaced one day too." Allison chuckled a little.
"Ironic telling the future see-er that she can't predict the future." But she knew Guin's point.
"Part of me knows that your memories were altered and that made up for some of the tension, but there was the matter of how easy it seemed for you to accept staying in that reality despite how horrible it was for everyone that wasn't us. I'm not mad, it just surprised me. I don't have Ayita anymore to share my feelings on everything with. Seeing Oshea there brought back a lot of memories, good and bad. I got over him Guin. I mourned and moved on and then she brought him back and it hurt to lose him a second time. It's not fair. You still have Pietro and I have nothing but memories." She felt herself get teary-eyed, but held them in.
"I'm happy you both still have each other. It's hard losing loved ones and I don't wish it on anyone." She sighed slightly, tugging at the ends of her hair.
"Al... I'm not going to lie - this reality or the other one, my life is full of privilege. When I was a drug addict, my last name was enough to get the charges dropped against me for possession and use. And in that world, my family was still wealthy enough that even though they were human... they weren't treated horribly." She then sighed a bit.
"I'm glad it all happened... I never got to meet my grandparents. They died a long time ago in a car crash. But... now I know more about them beyond what Wikipedia has to say." "As for Pietro... I don't know if me and him are really okay yet. It's going to take time." "You still have him, Guin. That's more than a lot of us can say at this moment. That reality hurt me and so many others in ways I don't know if it will be easily recoverable." She didn't want to say her other thought. About how it wasn't worth Guin seeing her grandparents again if it meant others were reminded of their loss and having it taken away so easily.
"So how do you handle that privilege going forward, knowing you have it easier than others?" Guin couldn't help but feel defensive. She had gotten to meet dead family members, yes that had been something wonderful about the twist Wanda had done to reality, but it seemed to her like she was being subconsciously blamed for this. Allison's question of how she was going to operate moving forward even felt like she was being scolded. She frowned slightly.
"Are you blaming me being happy that I got to meet my grandparents for your pain?" she asked bluntly.
"But if you must know, I know what I'm going to do with my life. I'm not going to just fight for mutants - one day I'm going to fight for the entire world, maybe even the whole galaxy as an Avenger... It's what I was born to do." "You got to meet people who were dead. If that didn't make you happy I would be worried. But do you feel any remorse? Any sadness that in order for that to happen reality had to be shaped and humans were enslaved or killed or sympathizers were rounded up and publicly executed? I'm not saying don't be happy, I am saying I hope you understand that the happiness you feel came at a cost, to you and to many others. It didn't seem to me like it mattered to you, but this is the first time we are talking since reality was changed back, so I don't know. I can't sit here and be happy, despite evidence that I should be. It's just not in me to see what happened as a positive, even if moments on it brought me happiness I never felt before." Allison knew Guin would get defensive, it was how she operated.
"You called out your own privilege. I never accused you of it. If it gets you to be an Avenger like you want then I'm happy for you." "Of course I know that people had to suffer for it - but Ally, I can't feel guilty for something I didn't do," Guin pointed out.
"I can't have remorse for actions that were not mine. And yeah, not everything in there was a positive.... Huge parts of it were a nightmare... But I'm still grateful that I got to meet my grandparents - and I imagine you had to have enjoyed having at least one more minute of time with Oshea." She paused for a moment, trying not to sound too angry but she was a little bit defensive at the moment.
"And all of the suffering in that reality... it was erased. I asked my dad and there were only a handful of people who weren't in that final battle who remembered. None of it technically happened..." "We reaped the benefits from it Guin. That is what I feel remorse about. It doesn't matter if it all was erased, the scars it left exist on us and others. That is what I regret. My happiness at having another moment to tell Oshea exactly how I felt, something I never got a chance to do, doesn't make up for the psychological, emotional, and physical turmoil I had to endure. As much as I love Oshea, I'd return all of those happy moments to make sure what occurred never happened." "Then that's your choice and how you feel about it," Guin surmised. She wasn't going to change her mind on this. She was allowed to have enjoyed those moments she had had with her grandparents, no matter how real or false they had been.
"I get that it caused you pain and I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I'm glad that we fixed things, that we put things back to how they should be... but if we had a time machine and had the chance to go stop Wanda before she even created the House of M world, I wouldn't mess with that timeline. As much as there were horrible moments there, there were good ones too... It wasn't such a black and white world, which I know is hard for you to see since you had no memories of what life was like there. Not everything was like Magneto's palace. Not everything was cruelty against humanity." Allison shook her head, though she knew Guin would not have agreed with her points. It still felt good to get it off her chest and now she was certain of Guin's feelings on the matter.
"We'll have to agree to disagree it seems. Glad you got to meet your grandparents though." She stood up, straightening out her outfit.
"I'm going to go unpack some things. Got to get ready for the holidays. Need anything else?" She shook her head, still feeling a little bit vexed.
"Nah. I'll see you around, then."