JJ Doe — Roleplayer Guild

----- The Anatolian Wilderness: Battle III -----
Kimberly saw [her] in Royce’s “smile” and it made his heart sink at the sight of it. It was death. More specifically, it was the desire of it. It was a desire Kimberly had seen more times than he would have liked to. How often [they] tried to cover it: sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a stoic expression. The more [they] wished for the end, the more likely [they] started to cover it up. Royce’s smile did not comfort Kimberly. It only reminded him of those he lost; of the people he had failed.

[She] whose smile was as bright as the sun. [She] who took her own life and left this world to see [her] husband, without [her] child.
[She] who contemplated death for [herself] and [her] child, to save them both… only to be killed when [she] wanted to live the most.
[She] whose eyes and shadow constantly tell him that [she] wished to run away from all the pain this world forced [her] to endure.
[Ze] who never had the chance or given the choice.
And now Royce. Or was Kimberly too dense to notice it earlier?

"I think I feel like dying tonight. How about you, Kimmy?"

Considering the current situation, Kimberly could have let the comment slide or, at the very least, discussed it after the battle was over, but he couldn’t. Kimberly knew the cost of being inactive was. He may have only been five years old when his mother committed suicide, but he knew that something was wrong… yet he did nothing about it. Nothing. That’s why she’s dead.

Even Clair regretted “his” inactions. Yes, he was busy at the time when his daughter called him that fateful day, but what if… what if he chose her over his work? What if he listened to his instinct that he would never be able to speak to her “later” if he did not speak to her “now”? Would she have been alive today? It was a possibility that they would never know. Clair hung up on his daughter’s first and last call for help. He delayed his action. He did not act when he needed to. He did nothing. That’s why she’s dead.

Joyce’s death taught her parents and her child that there was a certain point in time when action and inaction determined one’s fate. Once that point passed, there was no “later”. The choice was made and nothing could be done to take it back.

WARG was surrounded by an army of xenomorphs: a place and time that was one of the least ideal conditions to comfort anyone. Or maybe that was exactly why Royce decided to say those words now, out of all places: it was a situation in which he could die quite easily.

Was “this” that “point”?

Was the time for action, now?

Would Kimberly regret his inaction if Royce were to die the next moment?

Yes. Yes, he would.

The fire bear started to make low grunts and growling noises in response to Royce’s question. Unfortunately, Royce was not fluent in bear. Not that it actually mattered. What words could he have said to Royce that would comfort him? Even in human form, the giant would have stumbled over his words. Had he been anyone, but Kimberly, he might have said it right. Maybe Emily or Thael could have made this all better, but he was not them. He was Kimberly: a man whose mouth was only good at staying closed. He didn’t even know the first thing of being eloquent. Then again, what was the point of fancy words if they did not move the listener’s heart?

How does one persuade someone who is dead set on dying? How could one explain the impact one’s death ---even the desire of it--- has on the living? Why can’t “I don’t want you to die”, be compelling enough? “Now” may be painful, but life could not have been all that bad: the reason why there is pain is because one knows how it feels without pain. Some say that people feel sadness, because they have felt happiness at one point. Why can’t they live for that happiness? If the one joy in their life vanished, why can’t they find another? Not to replace what was lost, but to walk towards the future without the shackles of the past dragging them down. However small it may be, isn’t there something in the world that they liked or looked forward to? If they die, they’d never get to experience ever again.

Joyce never saw Kimberly enter elementary school, make friends, or even see the drawing of her that he was praised for. She may be around him in spirit, but that did not matter: she would never be able to hold her granddaughter, talk to her parents, or share any experience with Kimberly. Nancy would never truly be able to be a part of Samuela’s life anymore. If she was with them in spirit, all she could do is watch Samuela take her first steps, speak her first words, and make her first friends with out Nancy. She would grow up, become educated, get a job, and make a family. Nancy’s spirit would only be able to watch. Joyce and Nancy were the audience watching a show called the real world without being able to intervene.

No one knows what lies in the future: it might be bad or it could be something good. No one will ever know until the time comes. One cannot tell what they will experience unless they continue to live. No one can smile or cry unless they are alive to do it.

There were times in his life where Kimberly wondered if he was not worthy enough. Things might have gotten better for them after Lee’s death, yet Joyce chose death. Was Kimberly not enough? Was he not worth living for? Was he, somehow, less valuable than his father?

What could I have done to keep [you] “here”?
What do I have to do to keep [you] “here”?

The screen noise makes it near impossible to see what was happening. There was a raven-haired boy standing along in a familiar town. Technically, he was not alone: there were bodies everywhere around him, but that which made them individuals had left this world to “a better place”. So the boy was alone. He had been left behind, yet again. An overwhelming sense of loneliness and hopelessness drowns him alive. He hides his teary eyes with red hands and wails in agony.

No one hears him, for he is alone.

There was no way the world could be this cruel.

Kimberly lacked the ability to vocalize the perfect words in the crucial moment. If it was true that most human communication was nonverbal; that actions speak louder than words… Would she have chosen life over death if Kimberly had just hugged her when she thought she was crying alone instead of assuming that she wanted to be alone?
Would Royce?
Would Magdalena?

It was difficult for Kimberly to describe what went over him at that moment. The bear managed to grab ahold of Royce and threw him into the air. What caught the young man, when he returned to earth, was a large flame that ignited from the bear’s back. Common sense would have said that the intensity of the fire should have burned anyone close to it into a crisp. This was, true, to some degree: none of the smaller xenomorphs stupid enough to jump towards the flames lived to tell the tale. Royce, however, survived. The flames, that burned everything around it, enveloped the man in a warm embrace. To Royce, he was not lying on top of a burning bear; he was resting on a warm blanket made out of fur. This might not have been the appropriate way to use Magdalena’s fire spirits or the best way to comfort someone. It was debatable if Royce understood what Kimberly want to desperately “say” to him, but this was the closest thing to a “hug” that the giant bear could do in the middle of the battle field. He could only hope that passionate fire that burned brightly was enough to tell how much Kimberly wished him to live on; for every one of them, to stay alive.

There is only one way to ensure their survival at this moment, Kimberly Faye. Destroy all obstacles. Do not give Royce Guyvers, or any of your comrades, the chance of death.
With Royce on his back, Kimberly was somewhat restricted in his movements. It did not help that he could feel the affects of every damage Magdalena received either, but he did his best to focus on the enemy in front of him. Blob Prime Alpha had regenerated its tongue and angrily lashed it at Kimberly for how its predecessor was treated. Luckily, the tongue did not hurt as much as last time thanks to Royce’s vine armor, which Kimberly was thankful that his impulsive “hug” did not burn away.

As soon as there was an opening, the bear quickly pushed the Blob leader (Alpha) down with a head butt and forcibly opened the creature’s mouth as wide as he could. Targeting what Kimberly hoped was the xenomorph’s weakness, the giant bear charged up his lava breath and discharged as much lava as he could upon exhalation, directly into the Blob Prime’s eye.

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