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4 mos ago
Current Be a moon unto yourself.
10 mos ago
You almost got the cheese touch....
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6 yrs ago
There are stupid questions, but if you pretend you were just joking you should be okay.
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6 yrs ago
The best business pitch is to throw the business ball past the business batter to the business catcher.
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6 yrs ago
I sometimes hear about someone having skeletons in their closet. Ok? How do you know they're still in there? You can't just assume a skeleton is gonna stay still. This is your house, not a graveyard.
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The government doesn't want you to know this but the supervillains on the street are free, you can just pick them up and take them to jail.




First Night

Near the Abandoned Lot




On the roof of a shoddy little convenience store, concealed by their class skill and their spirit form, Assassin was in an excellent position to hear and see all that unfolded between the Servants who had gathered down below. And there was a lot to take in. Defenders of Christendom, a stray Servant offering his talents to the strongest contender, a blackened Holy Grail...

All the heroes gathered in the lot seemed to be of a similar mind about what should be done to a corrupted Grail, even if they weren't willing to immediately all band together as allies to accomplish the task. How much did this affect Assassin's plans? As Puss in Boots, they were honour-bound to grant all their Master's wishes and bring them the finest things in life, but the structure of the war was beginning to break down before it had even begun. If there was no magical wish granter to be won, it meant they would have to grant Oleg-Marie's wishes with nothing but the point of their sword.

An easy task for the Master Cat!

That's good judgment, Master. Puss responded through the telepathic bond. Indeed, a sharp-eyed Saber was probably the most annoying sort of Servant to have running around when you were an Assassin. I'll give it my very best effort at the first opportunity.

Puss' words dripped with false conviction and energy, uncharacteristic of the loyal Assassin. Perhaps Oleg-Marie could read into the message that lay within that sarcastic tone. Puss in Boots would grant all their Master's wishes, but if he didn't truly want Lorenzo killed, it wasn't going to happen. For Puss, the Master's orders came second, after the wishes in the Master's heart.

Anyway, if you've made an alliance with a Master, the next thing you should ask about is whether their Servant is one of the ones gathered here. Puss chimed into their Master's head again, eyeing the Shielder and Rider. There's a guy with a little bicycle who's been making an awful fool of himself, and a kid who's looking to team up with somebody. They're probably going to try and destroy the Grail, if they can reach it.

They sensed one more, a moment later, swinging over the streets to loom over the gathering, not so different from what they themselves were doing. And another Servant's shown up. I'm not sure how long things will stay peaceful for... So just let me know whose side I should be on, 'kay?

@Letter Bee
Here's something for the heroes to chew on.


First Night

Kyoto Rooftops





"Don't be too pessimistic, Master. We can do much better than just surviving. Your Servant is Puss in Boots!" Assassin spoke into the magus' mind as they strayed from the group of street cats, slinking into the shadows. "Your wishes will come true, no matter what."

With Saber and Lorenzo leaving the church compound, there was little reason for Assassin to stick around and keep watch on the area. They were idly curious to know what was on Lorenzo's computer, but that was hardly a priority when the first moves of the war were being made. Tucked away amid the shadows and refuse of the alleyways, far from prying eyes and familiars, Puss' tiny body dissipated into nothing as they shifted into their spirit form, abandoning the guise of a cat for the time being.

Leaving the compound on an electric bicycle gave Saber ease of mobility, but it also meant that she and her Master were not difficult to follow in the slightest. Aside from the fact that Assassin on foot could certainly keep up with such a vehicle, there was the issue of her having to adhere to the roads while Puss could maneuver as they pleased. The invisible Assassin shot up to the rooftops, shadowing the pair from a distance. Even when they lost sight of the bike in traffic or behind taller buildings, the presence of a powerful hero like Saber and the energy of Lorenzo's command seals made tracking them down a simple matter. Puss, on the other hand, gave off no signal of their presence, the trace of magical energy from their spiritual body muted by the inherent ability of the Assassin class.

"Anyhoo, best of luck with your deal. Let me know if you find out what kind of Servant that aristocrat is paired with." The Assassin continued to chat with their Master as they pursued the enemy. "And if there's trouble, just use the Command Spell!"

In truth, Puss was eager for their Master to use up some of the tattoo that marked their contract. They weren't a fan of micromanagement, and found the whole idea of needing to be compelled to obey their Master to be a little insulting. Puss in Boots did their best work at the time and place of their choosing, not when a spell was put on their heart! All that aside, it was more practical to use the Command Spell for something like teleportation or strengthening in tough battle.

Soon enough, Assassin no longer needed to follow Lorenzo and Saber, as it became obvious where they were headed. The presence of multiple enemy Servants shone brightly, and Puss, concealed, took up a vantage point nearby to observe the proceedings in spirit form. Being just close enough for their sensitive ears to pick up the details of the situation, they would have plenty of entertainment if something went down!

First Night

Boundary of the Church Grounds



"You're sweet, but I'm not here to socialize!" Assassin swished their tail as the orange stray on their left nudged a mangled pigeon in their direction, "It's all yours, really!"

Assassin was in their exceedingly adorable cat mode, relaxing near the church grounds with some of the most well-reputed members of the local stray cat community. It had been a busy day for the master cat, having been quickly forced to abandon their original contract in favor of another prospect. The end result was that they knew less than they might have liked about their current Master, and the schemes they had already set into motion with the Princess in mind were left half-finished, bereft of an end-goal, for now.

Nightfall in a Holy Grail War came with the promise of bloodshed, and Assassin's efforts to search Kyoto had already paid off. The space around the church grounds was unmistakably a bounded field, the man who had the run of the place was surely an enemy Master, and the woman who had suddenly arrived from within the property today was obviously a top-grade beauty. Also, a Servant.

As Lorenzo showed Saber around the base, Puss did their best to also enjoy the tour, as best as was possible through the protective magecrart on the area. The main point of interest seemed to be a place full of modern machinery--computer equipment, Puss knew, from memories that weren't their own.

With their limited view through the window, they couldn't tell what exactly was being done by Lorenzo on the computer, but they sussed out the gist of it. Something to help with war strategy, or information, probably. A magus who knew how to take advantage of all the latest tricks was sort of respectable! Assassin was endlessly curious what the Master of the Church was up to, but they refrained from advancing towards the base.

Although it would certainly have been possible for the feline Servant to sneak past the spells that guarded the outside, something else was amiss.

You're cleaning?

Assassin observed as their enemy truly lived up to the title of 'Servant', moving around the base and tidying it up. She didn't seem to have any deeper motive... Until she swept away some sort of little creature. A bug? For an Assassin, it was only natural to take note of subtle changes in behavior when observing a target. Saber had returned to her Master to tell him about something significant she had noticed while cleaning.

Had someone else been spying? Puss cursed silently. They couldn't stand their working process being disrupted by an amateur's operation. All the same, they made a mental note to check themselves over for little bugs shortly, and to avoid the gaze of that Saber.

Assassin decided to sneak a bite of pigeon after all. A Holy Grail War always brought blood. It was going to be a long night

First Night

Van Oranje-Nassau spring vacation estate




Assassin's ears flicked with amusement. Or was it respect? This was no ordinary Master, and the insinuation that she could take or leave them, that she didn't need their help, only made them all the more eager for the challenge. Stealing a castle and some fine clothes wouldn't be enough to impress this one. So, Puss would need to shoot a little higher. An omnipotent wish-granter would do the trick, perhaps.

In the instant Vivienne offered her hand, there was no barnyard tabby on the floor. "You'll see, your highness, what I can do for you." A young hero was there, clad in black, with a gleaming duelling sword at their hip and a pair of fine leather boots that pressed noiselessly to the floor as they knelt in front of the princess. "The Master Cat, Puss in Boots, is at your service."

All at once, the muted magical energy returned to the room in full force. Perhaps Assassin's power was indeed meagre among Servants, as Vivienne had guessed, but they were nonetheless a spirit that had no business existing in the modern day, with speed and grace that set them apart from any living creature.

Without missing a beat, they pressed their hat to their chest, exposing a pair feline ears, and planted the tiniest peck on their new Master's hand. In this performance, they were having a good bit of fun.

After scarcely two seconds of displaying their true abilities to their Master, Assassin was a cat once again. They idly eyed the floor for any sign of pests. They offered no real detail on what they were capable of, leaving their Master to better guess how they ought to be used in a Holy Grail War.

"Are some of the walls made of paper..? First off, I'll need to look into doing something about this place. Then, I'll make sure my Master is celebrated far and wide. You may be royalty already, but I'm about to bring a whole new meaning to the word." Even as a cat, they were practically grinning, eyes narrowed eagerly. They began to stalk out of the room, to begin their work.

"And if there are ninety-eight people who need to die, I'm sure I can clear some time in my busy schedule for that, too."

First Night

Van Oranje-Nassau spring vacation estate




The magical energy of the mansion began to warm and tremble at Vivienne's words, as noiseless pressure bore down on the air. An existence foreign to the current era stirred, and a faint golden light heralded the first signs of its approach. As she spoke on, the immense presence began to swell--

"Say no more."

--And rather than reaching some critical mass and rupturing into a cascade of ancient power, all that energy went out quicker than a lightbulb. Before the last syllables of the incantation had even left the magus' lips, something had arrived. Perhaps it was a testament to Vivienne's incredible talent, that the summoning spell had so readily spun her Servant into being. Or, perhaps it was a matter of this particular heroic spirit being eager to see some action.

On that matter, there stood the question of whether this was even a Servant at all. Palpable might, presence, and authority were nowhere to be found. Just a few feet from the fireplace, a common tabby stretched with satisfaction, as if recovering from a lengthy nap in a patch of sunlight. It radiated no magical energy, and in fact appeared rather delicate. The only real clue to its true nature was the fact that it had not been anywhere in sight until the moment of the summoning, appearing without notice in that spot.

Plus, it was talking.

"Hmmm... Pardon me. When I was alive, most women looked nothing like one another. How times change. I spy three or four of you scurrying around, so similar you could practically all be related!" Their ears twitched gleefully. It had only been a few moments since they had sprung into being, but Assassin felt plenty alert and awake, happy for the chance to learn new scents and trick new fools. "But you're the one marked with the Command Seal, so you're the one to ask:"

Even as a cat, there was a certain lively intelligence in Assassin's eyes as they looked the magus up and down. The lodgings may have been in an unusual style, but the woman herself was undoubtedly someone supremely fancy. With maids, too! So, probably loaded. The feline cogs were turning upstairs. Already there was the sweet, juicy, marrow-filled skeleton of a plan. This was going to be a good time.

"Are you ready to be my Nyaster?"


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