Nolan placed the two pitchers on the table and the huddled group of football players vocalized their excitement. Within seconds, like the savages they were, the cups were already passed around and the beer began to freely flow. The dark haired boy was smart to have taken a cup for himself before the madness began- the pitchers were empty before he could even blink. One of his teammates piped up as he drank.
“What did Bonfamille want?” Drew asked curiously. Nolan shrugged, taking a sip of his beer.
“Ah, um...nothing. Just was keeping busy as I waited, is all.” The wide receiver quickly explained, dismissing the question almost entirely and deferring to the conversation going on at the table.
As Nolan thought more about it, he didn’t understand why he had decided to be so unforthcoming about his conversation with Bastíen. He could have easily just said that they were catching up or chatting, and that would have been a perfectly fine and acceptable answer, but for some reason he had decided to play it off as even less than that around his friends. The boy had hesitated and deflected, and that spoke volumes about the internal debate he had going on with himself.
Nolan had been questioning his sexuality for a while. What started as a conversation in high school with a friend turned into a larger ongoing narrative in his head that he was afraid to face truthfully. Throughout college, Nolan had only been with women- whether that was because he was attracted to them or he was not being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure. But this past summer, he met someone that he was attracted to who wasn’t a woman and confirmed something that he had always known, but didn’t exactly have the courage to pursue.
For now, he kept it to himself- even if he had a few notions, there was still a big fat question mark surrounding the boy’s preferences, and he had yet to identify his sexual preferences. He didn’t need anyone knowing that just yet, especially his teammates, so he masqueraded and evaded most questions, even if they didn't relate to his romantic or sexual affairs. He was wary; afraid that the smallest misstep would reveal his inner thoughts and feelings.
Wrapped up in his debacle, Nolan didn’t notice that Cassian had walked up to the table until he heard his teammate ridicule him. He hadn’t seen his friend since the incident, but he definitely exchanged some choice words with him afterwards over text to make sure his adverse feelings about it were known. Snapping out of his daze and rolling his eyes at the boy’s remark about his sensitivity, he quickly quieted his teammates from further misery. “Lay off guys, I’ve already given him enough shit for it.” Nolan’s teammates did as they were told, returning to their boisterous banter, and he turned back to Cassian, as well as Dana who had appeared beside him.
“I wish you had been sensitive last weekend- I would have paid to see you cry like a wuss when Theo decked you.” He chuckled to himself. In response to Cassian’s comment about his teammates, he sighed. “Eh, they’re fine. We had a rough practice, we all needed a night out. Coach would have their asses if they pulled anything. Regardless, if someone starts up, we can just throw Dana’s jacket at them and pierce them in the eye. Problem solved.”
It was then that the boy’s attention was taken from his friends and pulled to the stage, where Darla was announcing the next act. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Bas was performing, but as soon as he opened his mouth to sing, Nolan couldn’t take his eyes away from the piano. As the song progressed, something about the lyrics spoke to him- he couldn’t put his finger on what it was about them, but the feeling with which Bas played the keys and sang resonated deeply with the football player. He didn’t know that the musician could be so poignant and emotive- hell, it was shocking to see that he had feelings, knowing how bored and passive he could be at times.
Nolan caught Bas’ gaze, and as the boy winked at him, his face grew warm. He tried not to draw attention and warily glanced around to see if anyone had noticed the silent interaction- it seemed that his friends were too busy chatting to care. As the song ended, and Bas disappeared off the stage, the football player chugged the rest of his drink in an attempt to distract himself. “I’m going to get another,” Nolan didn’t wait for anyone’s response as he quickly stood up and made his way back over to the bar, wanting to take a shot of anything to stop himself from feeling.