“Okay,” Nori started, squirming to get more comfortable in Oliver’s lap. “You’ve gotta be quiet as a church mouse, Ollie. Seriously, no snarky ass comments. I can't screw up my first broadcast.”
“Hey, you're the one who wanted to play this cutesy ‘sit in my lap’ bullshit, Nori. I was in the middle of something.”
“Hush,” she huffed, turning her head to plant a quick kiss on his bandaged cheek. “I’m nervous and I want you here, and the only way to stop you from wandering off is to sit on you. So suck it up, Holland!”
“Wandering off?” Oliver sputtered, cocking an eyebrow at her sudden cheekiness. “What am I, five?”
“I hope not,” she responded, wiggling flirtatiously. “But seriously, you can go if you need to, I just…” She trailed off, her face flushing a bit before she pressed on. “I just wanted you close, okay? For moral support and all that mushy bullcrap.”
“What is this, a Japanese dating simulator? That has got to be the most sappy excuse I've ever heard to get me to stay put.”
“UGH! You’re the worst. Just go, you asshat.”
“I would,” Oliver began, a shit eating grin beginning to form on his bandaged lips. “But you just had to have that extra french fry, huh?”
“I WILL MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, OLLIE, I KNOW WHERE YOU KEEP THE BULLETS NOW!”
“Jokes on you, I keep all my guns in the attic-”
He paused.
“Ignore that last part.”
“Mhmm,” she hummed, standing up so he could get up and do whatever it was he needed to. “Go on then, I’ve got this, darlin’.”
“Don't you wanna sit down first, kid?” Oliver smirked, pulling out the chair.
She shot him a suspicious look before her features softened as she settled back into the now vacant seat. “Alright. Thanks Oliver, that was actually sort of sweet of you.”
He waited until she sat down, before suddenly cackling like a madman and rushing in front of her, plopping down on her lap instead.
“SON OF A MOTHER--!”
What’s up guys, this is DJ Haywood with Shine City Radio! It’s 10:48 AM, the sun in shining, the birds are chirping, and I have not had enough coffee to deal with all of this madness yet. Seriously, somebody needs to bring me a cup with a double shot of espresso or I might die. I’m here at Shine City Investigation Services, so just drop it off at the front door. Remember, we’ll find your lost pet for you or catch your man getting dirty with another lady, so don’t be scared to give us a call!
*Clears throat* Now that I’ve gotten that shameless bit of self promotion out of the way it's time for Naughty Nori’s News! If you haven’t heard already it’s nightcore and foam night down at Club LUSH so...*nervous chuckle*...if you’re ready to get wet you should slip into something sexy and swing on by! You might want to get there early though, because it’s sure to be packed and those lines are the worst. Luckily we’ve got our big, strong bouncers Arty Grant and Megaera Kastrati standing by, so at least you’ll have something nice to look at while you wait! Last I heard they were both very single…*Cough*
Or maybe clubs aren’t your scene? In which case I pity you, but I understand. How about stopping by The Tiny Snowflake? I was in there yesterday and the prettiest waitress helped me...um, I think her name was Amaya? I'm not sure but her eyes were this gorgeous green color and she looked adorable in that kimono. Anyways, you should check the place out if you’re craving traditional Japanese food.
I gotta get out of here guys, the struggle for caffeine is real. I’m gonna leave you with this song in the hopes of perking everybody up. DJ Haywood, out~!
This post was co-written by the wonderful @Bozo in the role of Oliver Holland! For all you newcomers out there he was set on fire in the last game and now looks like this.