Avatar of NeoAJ

Status

Recent Statuses

2 yrs ago
Current Happy new year. Yes I am still alive. Bleep you 2022.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
You need to chill, girl. ;P
2 likes
4 yrs ago
I still don't know why I'm awake.
4 likes
4 yrs ago
I have no idea why the hell I am still awake right now. I blame my brother.
3 likes
4 yrs ago
Today, I have added "people who don't wear masks" onto my shitlist. Oh wait, I did that months ago...
6 likes

Bio

I'm a 32 year old woman just looking to keep those writing muscles in whatever shape I can. I'm also Canadian, so fill the rest of this bio with every stereotype you can think of. I've also been single for over a year now, so clearly I'm a catch.

"She's horrible and stuff" - @BangoSkank

Most Recent Posts

Kanto was proving to be something of a disappointment so far. Between the supposedly most learned man in the land proving that things as complex as his family member's names and basic etiquette were elusive in his advanced age, and the toughest gym leader proving to be as insecure as a 16-year-old birthday girl with a zit on her face, it was frankly comical. Still, Lilith got what she came for. She got a Pokedex, she got an official start on the Indigo League journey and she got proof that Unova is much better than this Arceus-forsaken land. There was still a master thesis to be completed, but still, the ego boost from the events so far outweighed a potential reveal of her dreaded birth name.

While the other trainers who had assembled were chatting, Lilith turned to her partner. The little candle Pokemon was still calm as ever, smiling on her shoulder as if it didn't witness that utter shitshow inside the laboratory. "Hold still for a sec, Sia."

"Litwick?" But why?



"Huh... Lilith looked back up at Sia. "Is that what you've been doing all this time? Just tricking me so you can suck the life force out?

"Lit! Lit! Litwicklitlit..." No! No! I mean, it's a nice perk, but...

"Look, I'm happy to keep you fed with all the life force I got. Just don't lie to me, OK?

"Litwicklit!" I never would!

"OK then..."

"That certainly just happened to all of us. I suppose our next move is to travel north, then? Perhaps as a group?"

Hana wanted to get out of town, and that sounded like a great idea to Lilith's ears. "The spirits seemed to have aligned us that way. We might as well." The Unovan looked around. There wasn't much to look around at, and it was pretty easy to spot a path that would lead out of this quaint little town. Lilith couldn't wait to leave it behind. "This way. You lot can keep yapping as we move.

With a place as small as Pallet Town, it wasn't long before the path opened up to an grassy plain. There were sure to be Pokemon in the area.



A collab featuring Shawna @NeoAJ & Sunshine @HaleyTheRandom


During her months here at Kings Academy, Sunshine just couldn’t get used to all of the assemblies. Granted this one had all of them cramped in a classroom with some awkward staff member, but still. Why did the administration want to try and control every little thing about their senior year? We’re the students really that bad? Sure, Sunshine had heard stories. The Halloween party, Kavi’s nose getting broken at homecoming, the baseball bat to the car incident. Okay, sure. Kings Academy's class of 2019 could use a little supervision. But getting them to bring their friends instead of significant others?

Stupid.

Leaning to her right where Shawna was sitting, Sunshine couldn’t help but scoff. ”They do realize just how stupid they sound everytime they do this, right?”

“You would think that,” Shawna answered, “And yet it still keeps happening.”

And this was the stupidest one yet. This was supposed to be a coming out party. A big romantic spot where Shawna could officially come out to the world and embrace the girl that she was falling for.

Instead, she was going to be expected to take a friend? Bullshit. Sunshine was a friend. Granted, she was more than a friend. But still. The relationship was less than a month old. It should still count.

“I will say that this is a new level of stupid. I mean, not that I gave a shit about Valentine’s Day before, but even back then, I’d say this was asinine. Now? Now, I’m just kinda pissed," Shawna admitted.

"I wouldn’t say that it’s the worst one, but probably the dumbest. If they think that all of our problems come from romantic relationships they’re deadass wrong.” Rolling her eyes as she stood up, Sunshine grabbed her bag off the back of the chair while waiting for Shawna to grab her things.

"I had our outfits almost planned out and everything,” she groaned. ”Who would I even take? I mean, there’s Chanel, but she’s probably going with Julie or April.”

“Awwww, you had planned outfits for us?” Shawna asked as she grabbed her bookbag and followed Sunshine’s lead to get the heck out of the classroom. “Probably too classy-looking for this school anyway, hun. I mean, given the uniforms, I know that is not a high bar, but still. I’m sure we can find some place fun for them.”

The past couple weeks continued to see a noticeable uptick in Shawna’s mood. The fact that she was wearing the school uniform willingly again was proof of that. The new relationship was easing into itself, and things were being taken slow this time. It seemed to work out. There was no rush to get into things like there was with her previous target of affection. With Sunshine, there was no worry about that sort of thing.

It was why Shawna wasn’t that worried when Sunshine quickly trotted out Chanel as a potential target for the dance. It made sense. They were both on the cheer squad, they might as well tag team for this event too. However, it did throw Shawna’s lack of options into sharp focus.

“Fuck, I don’t even know who I’d line up for this sort of thing. Least you got those cheer hookups,” she told Sunshine. “I mean, I could ask Ari, at least then I know the drinks will flow. But she’s probably going with one of her other friends. Kavan or Archer or something. Then there’s Chrissie, but I don’t know if she wants any reminders of what happened with Jason… I don’t know… maybe Carter? Do dealers count as friends?”

Sunshine couldn’t help but laugh. ”I mean…. He’s better than some of the other options, and I’m pretty sure drug dealers can count as friends. Though to what extent, I don’t know.” Taking a moment to think, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes again. ”You know - this really, really blows. Like… I had plans. I’m sure a lot of people did. Now we just gotta toss them and do platonic bullshit.”

“That’s one thing you learn about this school, Cookie. It doesn’t give a sweet fuck about your plans,” Shawna confirmed. “Although, another thing I’ve learned, is that there will be someone foolish enough to have a separate party at their own place to make up for the school’s terrible ones. So I’m sure we won’t have to worry about platonic bullshit for too long.” The former honors student grinned at Sunshine. “Worse case, we can have our own little soiree back at my place after.”

”I freaking hope so. No doubt that they’ll want us to freaking leave room for Jesus and all that other shit,” she said, waving her right hand dismissively. ”Oh well. It is what it is. I just like to complain. I’m gonna go and see if I can find Chanel real quick before class.” Doing her best to balance on her tiptoes, Sunshine placed a quick kiss on the other girl’s cheek. ”I’ll catch you later?”

“Not if I catch you first,” Shawna said, a slight blush appearing on her face. She was getting better at controlling it now, but it still appeared under Sunshine’s touch. “And for the record, liking to complain is another thing we have in common. So, just a heads up on that.” Shawna gave Sunshine a finger gun that she thought was appropriate. Knowing her though, it probably just came off as lame. However, it would have to do as the two went their separate ways for class.





The cabin was getting stuffy. It was time to go out and mingle among the people. At least that was the reasoning for Jade to step outside of the shack and let the waning summer air drift over her. Of course out here, ice was going to be a necessity for her beverage.

Hence the Golden Girl's return trip to the tables, where coolers were plentiful and could easily spare a couple of cubes for her drink. A quick lift of a lid revealed the frozen paydirt. Meanwhile someone was having themselves a time slamming down some shots on the table above. Holy shit, Screams McGee, pace yourself. You have a whole night to go, and screaming is unnecessary... She plunked the ice in her cup and returned to her upright position.

Then pain.

Granted, Jade had scored enough goals with her head that she could take a hit there no problem. But skulls are harder than balls, and the forehead-on-forehead clashes were never fun. She managed to avoid losing her cocktail in the process though, so that was a win, and it sounded like the gave better than she got.

It just sucked when she found out who she gave it to.

"JADE!"

The neon piping and pigtails could only mean that Jade just conked the heck out of her sorority sister. Joanna Hart. Rare to find Joey by herself. Usually she was stride for stride with her roommate Charlotte. Anyone with half a brain could tell those two were a thing. Not that Jade disapproved. Hell, she had looked at their relationship close up with just a twinge of jealousy that no one compared to her and could offer the sort of bond those two had.

But here Joey was, now likely concussed and by herself. What else was Jade to do? Especially with her sorority sister now holding onto her like that Brazilian guy clutching his fake World Cup. She put her free hand around Joey and patted her on the back. The lioness on the prowl persona was temporarily put away. "Hey girl, what are you doing going around headbutting people like that? You know that's silly, right? How are you feeling? You hurt bad?"





Hmmm... guess I sounded more hostile than I thought..."

Granted, Shawna was out of practice when it came to sounding happy, or even neutral really. The eight months of drugs, booze and apathy had really settled into a world-weary cynical voice. Clearly she had been watching Natasha Lyonne too much.

Still, she wasn't intending to offend the jock in front of her. At least not at this time. But he seemed so shocked by the notion that one could choose to not be at school. It was pretty straight forward in Shawna's mind. You just don't go to class. You do literally anything else. It was fun. All those bad influences from the PSAs had that right at least.

Meanwhile, Jack was expressing a disdain for classes that was very familiar. He was correct that he didn't need to know when George Washington... conquered America. The internal sigh in Shawna's mind was deafening. Even the most expensive schools in the land couldn't teach some people. A low-level ACC university was going to be very proud to have Jack's grades to make up for. The football star was right. Society had made sure that he needed to know absolutely none of those things to succeed.

"What do you even have next, anyway? Something just as boring? I feel that, dude. School totally SUCKS."

Shawna had to actually think for a second. It had been a while since she gave enough of a damn to look at her schedule for the second semester. What did she have? Some Biology course she could fake her way through? English? Did she sign up for Drama while high? She should probably check her phone or something. But Jack was still standing here, still asking questions. The man who catch balls good probably deserved some manner of an answer.

"I'm gonna be honest with you, Jack, I got no clue what I have next. I have not checked out my schedule yet, and I kinda forget what's on there. But you're likely right. It's going to be boring as hell. And that's why I wonder if I should have tried to find somewhere else to be other than school right now."

Shawna thought for a second. She could still get out of there. Time was still on the clock for that great escape to one of the bridges or to WPB or some place that didn't remind her of failure. Her Audi was still in the parking lot. She still had a rolled-up joint tucked in her wallet. That would make for a pretty peaceful session.

But that wouldn't be fair to Sunshine. It wouldn't be fair to Lia. It wouldn't be fair to... to herself even. This weird floating feeling. It was starting to affect other things she was thinking about. It just confirmed that even with the break that Jack and his lackey's presence provided in that sheer warmth that was permeating through Shawna from her picnic-table conversation, it wasn't some temporary high.

"But, I guess I finally got a reason to stay here for a bit. At least enough of a reason to go in there and pay a bunch of lip service. Maybe rattle off the year James Cook discovered how to make a sandwich or something. But you know what, Jack?" Shawna put her free hand on Jack's arm, that very well-toned arm of his, firmer than she was expecting. But it was a momentary distraction. "It's gonna finally be worth it for the reason I got." The warning bell rang out telling students to get their act in gear. "Anyway, try to survive that history lesson, brah." Shawna smiled as she let go of the football star and headed inside to try and figure out where the hell she was supposed to go for first period.



As his roommates seemed to fan out amidst the growing party on the lakeshore, Kieran was content to let the party come to him. He quickly confiscated one of the provided bottles of Jameson for his own person business, no cup needed. A true son of the Rock took his pulls where he could get them, and left nary a dirty dish in sight for the host to clean. Besides, you can cap a bottle and keep the flies from getting into the booze. No need for extra protein getting in and ruining a good game of drink. Settling in at a random picnic table, the left winger took a long sip from the bottle and set it back down on the outdoor furniture.

Kieran was studying the party with an athlete's eye, looking for a target much like he looked for a weak spot in a goalie's movements. It was tough to pick out people even with the light provided by the mysterious host. However, no one could miss the neon blur that was quick to emerge from the corner of his vision. He had enough time open up his stance in preparation thanks to the excited cry of his favorite girl at Meadow University.

"KIKI!" A blur of blonde hair and technicolor piping suddenly landed in his lap before stabilizing in the form of Miss Charlotte Diedrikson. Not that Kieran would ever call her that to her face. No, they had a strictly nickname relationship at this point, the Lottie to his Kiki.

“How’s my favorite viking doing? Did you miss me, K-Bear?”

Lottie was much better at the nickname game than Kieran was. Dieder didn't carry the same amount of affection that it felt like it should. Still, the Canadian had a couple that he could turn to. "Of course I missed my little munchkin! How could I not? Especially with the neon outfit you're rocking tonight! I like it!"

For all the time they had spent together, it was a great relief to Kieran that things never seemed to get too serious. Lottie was an athlete like himself. She knew the work that had to be put in to maintain both athletic and academic superiority. That's why Kieran was more than happy to keep things casual with the tennis star the way they had been since they started hooking up. It suited him just fine.

Still, Kieran wasn't going to let the balance book on kisses be outweighed against him. He planted a quick peck on Lottie's cheek, light enough to not smudge any makeup she might have on for tonight's festivities. "And of course I'm doing better now that you're here! But hey, enough about me! You just get here? Are you set for drink? Or are you good to split the Jameson with me?

Kieran was tempted to ask where her roommate was. It was a well-known fact that where Lottie Diedrikson went, Joey Hart wouldn't be too far behind. The Canadian appreciated that kind of closeness between roomies. It was something he was proud to share with Mac and Eli, even given their wildly-different backgrounds. For two girls who seemed to have a lot in common, it made sense that they would have the same kind of bond. But still, that didn't make either of them their roommates' keeper. Surely MacKenna and Elliot found other things to do at the Bash. Joey would as well. So he let that thought slip as he basked in the feeling of his primary squeeze getting cozy on his lap.
Gary Oak shouldn't have been surprised that his grandfather's appearance would have elicited such a response. The little kids that used to come by may have still bought his wise old man shtick in his current state, but for a group of adults who appeared to be around his age, it was transparent that the venerable professor was not what he used to be. The elder Oak even managed to scare one of the women to tears from the looks of things. "Why couldn't this just be easy?" he muttered to himself.

He let out a sigh and turned back to the group assembled before him. "Let me try this again," he restarted. "You are here, at the still-world-famous Oak Laboratory. Countless trainers have begun their journey here, including myself, the one and only Gary Motherfucking Oak. Don't you ever forget that name!" He pointed at each of the trainers standing before him to emphasize that last point.

"Anyway, this is where you officially get registered to try and take on the Kanto Gym System and eventually the Indigo Pokemon League. I am a part of that system, and Viridian City is the closest gym to Pallet Town, but don't challenge me. If you challenge me, I will stomp you like the insignificant Bug-types you lot are right now. Your best chance to get that first badge is to go through the forest and head to Pewter City. Challenge Brock. He's pathetic. Should be an easy target for... well all of you since you have an Oshawott," he pointed at Ezra, "And the rest of you are women, so that foolish virgin will probably give you badges just for gracing his presence. This is also where you get your Pokedexes. You can upload them as apps onto your phone if you have one, but these serve as your ID for the challenge, so don't lose it. Don't break it. Because we aren't flying new ones out all the way from Kalos just for stupid klutzes!"

"So since I see six people, and I have six Pokedexes, just come up when I call your name and grab your device." Gary quickly flipped through his phone to get to his notes. "OK... Vivian Aurora... Ezra Daly... Fary Nitashi... Karen Rose... Karen?" While the first three Pokedexes were quickly claimed, no one was budging on the fourth one. It was way too early for Lilith to let the glamour fall from her mysterious cloak. Especially with her cursed birth name. "Kaaaaaren? Really living up to your name aren't you, huh? Well you've seen the manager. Go complain. See if I care. We'll process of elimination this anyway... Lizbeth Rowe... Hana Tatsu-"

"Good news Trainers! I have your Pokedexes for you right here!" Professor Oak burst back into the main hallway with a small shoebox in his hands. "My apologies for running off like that! I just had to go get your brand-new Pokedexes! I made them myself you know!"

"Gramps, what the hell are you doing?" Gary was visibly pissed off now. "We've been over this! You don't make the Pokedexes anymore! Not after gave a 10-year-old a device that just consisted of your grocery lists and some damn dirty limericks!"

"Nonsense! These are my finest inventions!"

Gary quickly rifled the box that his grandfather brought out. "These are just iPods... with red nail polish all over them!" He clicked the button on one of them. "And they're broken! Where did you even get these?!?"

"I told you! I built them myself!"

Meanwhile, Lilith had attempted to use the distraction provided by the old man to try and sneakily acquire her Pokedex. However, the old man was too perceptive for her.

"Hello there!" Oak shouted at the Unovan. "Tell me, are you a boy or a girl?"

What an insult! How dare this senile coot even think I could be a boy? Lilith was as irked as Gary was, and she let the old man know it. "That depends. Which gender would you prefer ends your over-extended life and feeds your soul to the flames?"

"Hah! You've got spunk! I like that!" Professor Oak didn't even seem to register Lilith's needlessly dark answer. He was too busy slapping his grandson on the back. "This is my grandson! He's a trainer just like you! Um..... what was his name again?"

Gary's face was beet red as he blurted out, "You fucking......SHIT!" He turned to the assembled masses. "NO ONE ANSWER HIM! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

But it was too late. "I remember now! His name is Shit! That's right!"

"No! No it's not! You fucking know it's not!"

"Shit! Calm down! No need to yell! Besides, now that these trainers have their Pokemon and Pokedexes, our work is done! Let them go explore, Shit!" Oak waved his arms in the air. "Now go discover the wonderful world of Pokemon!" He ended with a flourish before the mop atop his head slowly slid off and plopped on the ground. With that he turned away and headed to the back of the lab.

Meanwhile, Gary was in a Primeape-like level of rage. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, OLD MAN!" He turned, his head in his hands as he tried to control himself. "IT TOOK ME THREE YEARS TO GET HIM TO STOP CALLING ME DOUCHE!

"Shit! Shit! I need your help! The toaster isn't accepting my bagel!"

"I... I can't. I just can't fucking deal with this anymore. I'm getting the fuck out of here. No one come to the Viridian Gym! I am in no mood to face any of you pathetic scrubs! You knock on my door, you're getting fed to my Arcanine, dig! Later, losers!" Gray huffed out the frontdoor before summoning his Pidgeot to fly him away from this nightmare factory.

Meanwhile, with her Pokedex safely tucked away in her bag, Lilith just stood there, blinking at the display from one of the top gym leaders in the country. Sia stood sentry on her shoulder, looking none the wiser considering everything that had happened. Well, I think I finally found something I'd want to be called less than my actual name...

Quickly thinking, she scooped up the remaining Pokedex and handed it to the woman who she was talking to earlier. "I believe this is yours. Shall we all get the hell out of this place before the old man decides to set this place on fire?"






It was frustrating.

This was no way for a superstar to travel. On foot. Through the middle of a bunch of woods and brush and natural bullshit.

It was a damn good thing looking this spectacular was effortless. Otherwise Jade Scott would be downright mad.

Prepping for the Great Bash should have been a joyous undertaking. One where all her sisters would come together and celebrate the beginning of the new school year by getting pre-drunk off whatever the heck they wanted now that there were 21-year-olds among the group, followed by piecing together outfits and then heading to whatever secluded location the Bash was destined to happen in.

That didn't happen. Jade's day was all soccer. No planning time or socializing time or alcohol-buying time. Just soccer. Coach Lilly was merciless today. It was the first day back! It was supposed to be just an easing into the season! Nope. Apparently last year's second-round exit was still weighing on Coach's mind. It wasn't Jade's fault that Brittney let in three goals against freaking Hofstra! So why was she getting punished for it? Any other day, she would be fine with it, but not today. So Jade wasn't able to get back to the house until 6pm and she immediately needed to shower.

By the time she did that and made her solo run to the corner store to pick up some booze, the house was pretty quiet. It was disappointing. Jade hated to drink alone. What was the point of that? Besides, her dad had been pretty clear that only alcoholics drink alone. She wasn't that. So now she was trying to find the Bash lot sober. An easier task, but now far more annoying the more she had to bash branches with her arms. At least her outfit was probably the best thing she could be wearing for both trail blazing and stylish partying. Aside from the decision to wear the shorts that ended mid-thigh. She wanted to show off the legs, not have them be nicked and scraped all to shit.

Still, she could hear the music. She could see the glow. She was close.

Finally, the Golden Girl gashed her way into the clearing, where it was clear everything was in full swing already. There was booze provided, which would be fine for what she needed to start reaching the levels of her peers. It appeared there was a massive trough with various smaller bottles of beer and coolers, and then a table that was loaded with hard liquor. That was what Jade wanted. Everyone knows that vodka is the lowest-carb alcohol, so it was the clear option to drink without adding unnecessary beer weight.

Miss Scott strutted to the table and claimed a bottle of Absolut for herself. She scanned for some suitable mix and spotted a jug of cranberry juice. Diet of course. That would also be hers. The Queen of the Pitch deserves her choice of beverage, after all. Fishing a cup with her pinkie, Jade made her way towards the lone cabin on the lake, choosing to prepare her drinks in seclusion. It made sense given the day she had.

Two fingers of vodka, drowned in juice to make it red. It matched the cup perfectly. A sip confirmed the mix was done perfectly as well. At least things were start going her way now. It was about time.

Jade marched over to the window, cup in hand as she surveyed the Bash unfolding on the lakeside. There was sure to be pong out there, as well as other competitions that she could dominate. Other people she could dominate. Things boded well. The Golden Girl took a long pull from her cup. "Let the game begin," she said to herself.
All of a sudden, the little bench outside the lab had gotten more crowded. It wasn't to Lilith's liking, as she preferred relative solitude or one-on-one interactions. Although the addition of what appeared to be a magnificent specimen of a beach bod to the group didn't hurt. Even she could admit that. Still, as the trio of new challengers approached, followed soon after by a tumbling plant of some sort, it became clear that there would be a sizable group heading up to the lab at this point. One that she was intent on getting ahead of.

"Enough of this prattle," Lilith stated. "Let's get this over with so Kanto can feel the spirits' wrath." She purposefully started up the path towards the sprawling Oak Laboratory with Sia clinging onto her shoulder as tightly as her wax body would allow. The others began to follow suit to get this journey started...




"I'm telling you! That's not how that works!"

Professor Samuel Oak looked perplexed as he got yelled at by his grandson. "But I read about it in the research papers! There is a Galarian scientist who discovered new Pokemon by combining fossils! This has to be a brand new way to create new Pokemon species!"

The vein in Gary Oak's forehead bulged even more. "But you can't duct tape a knife to a Pidgey and call it a Pokemon!" he exclaimed. "How did you even manage to get that knife to stay on it's head?"

"I told you! It is a part of it's body! I'm going to call this Pokemon... Stabling! Yes! That's a fine name for this species!"

The Pidgey weakly tried to fly away, but the giant butcher knife attached to its crown of feathers made it difficult and it stayed rooted to the table.

"For fucks sake, Gramps!" Gary rushed over to try and delicately peel the tape off the Tiny Bird Pokemon's head. "This is borderline cruelty!" He managed to get most of the adhesive off with only a couple small feathers attached to the strip of tape. The Pidgey shook its head, chirped softly and flew out towards the vast green pastures beyond the open window.

"Gary! How could you let that Stabling get away! I didn't properly document it yet!"

"With what, old man? You got a notebook with the words KNIFE BIRD written out in block capitals... 24 times!" Gary snapped back. "Ugh, at least you remembered my name."

The argument on Professor Oak's latest discovery was interrupted by the sounds of Dodrio calls that acted as the doorbell.

"All right, that should be the new group. Hopefully they are all here and I can get out of here sooner rather than later."

As the two Oaks emerged from the partitioned doorway out to the main lobby, they could see the group of six trainers in front of them. "All right! A full group! Just what I wanted to see!" Gary said, clapping his hands. "Wel-"

"HELLO LITTLE GIRL!" Professor Oak shouted into Lizbeth's face. "Are you here to get your first Pokemon?"

"For fucks sake, Gramps! She has a Pokemon on her shoulder!" Gary stated, motioning to the Impidimp perched on her shoulder. "Although that is definitely a rare sight around here. Anyway, ignore the Professor," the younger Oak apologized, air quotes hovering around Professor. "My name is Gary Oak. Some of you may have heard of me, but for those foreigners here, I am the leader of the Viridian City Gym. I'm here because my grandfather..." Gary looked around, but the elder Oak was nowhere to be seen. He let out a sigh. "Does things like that, and his fat assistant Tracey went and disappeared. Probably off getting drunk or something. So it's up to me to get you all registered to take on the Indigo Pokemon League challenge! Hopefully as quickly as possible. So, are there any questions to start?"

Lilith just stood there with a blank look on her face. Is this your professor? Is this... your professor, Kanto? Sia remained calm as ever, still smiling.
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