Over Illusion

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@Jangel13

Review for Masamune

Hey I'm interested in joining and I created a character sheet. Please help me if their are issues with him:

Okay, using the wrong "there" isn't the best start, but it's cool, I believe in benefit of the doubt.

Name: Date Masamune

Class: Saber

Please justify why he qualifies for the Saber class to begin with.

Gender: Male

Gross.

Alignment: Lawful good

Gross.

Personality: carefree but determined he has the single idea to unite the land under the rule of his clan. However knowing that japan is no longer in the warring states period and is already unified he became carefree thinking that the job was already done and he simply didn't live long enough to see it come to fruition he is grateful he was able to follow Toyotomi Hideyoshi in his quest to unify japan during the time.

What is this sentence?

Is that an attempt to hurt me?

He is now a wandering soul and wants his single wish,

Thank you for informing us as to what this is.

Oh wait.

until then he is happy drinking sake and fighting worthy opponents that are able to take on the one eyed dragon of Ōshu.

Poor bastard.

History: Date Masamune was a warrior of great renown and was fearsome to his enemies. He was a great military leader and eventually created one the largest fiefdoms in japan.

Okay.

He had lost against Oda nobunaga in a battle because he had control of rifles and was able to decimate his cavalry forcing him to retreat.

This is quite possibly the best summarization of history I have ever read.

I mean that in the worst way.

Weapon: Summoned with his armor and iconic crescents moon helmet and his sword which had the symbol of the dragon on the scabbard

What happens if I break it in the vicinity of a Beyblade?

STR: A= Date strength is unsurpassed by most as he is able to go toe to toe with great generals on the battlefield in single combat. The few that can beat him are the ones with luck and strategy on their side.

I've been holding back from making syntax comments, but like, okay, serious question.

Are you real?

I'm inquiring because I'm unsure as to if you are real or if you are a construct designed by a malefic deity who wants to make me cry.

Anyway, let's look at the canon Servants with A STR.

-Girl who is literally a dragon and not just nicknamed after one.
-Self-Suggestion Trap.
-Chops hills in half for fun.
-Literally punched planets and they exploded.
-Excalibur is his arm.
-K I N T O K I
-Monsters beyond human limits.
-Mad Enhancement

Seeing a pattern?

The pattern is that "I am strong for normal people" holds no water.

This is literally you just saying a thing and assuming I'll accept it.

Nobu's STR is C.

STR to C.

CON: A= Date has a great constitution allowing him to take several deadly blows and keep fighting so long as he has an arm to fight with he will continue to push forward in an attempt to win.

The same as above.

There is nothing in his legend that means he should have a high CON, let alone one at the A rank.

I won't explain this in depth because honestly, I don't think any of what I'm saying is going to reach the end result of this profile becoming acceptable.

CON to C.

AGI: A= Date was known in his younger years to be athletic and allows him to dodge and block blows with relative ease so long as he can see the attack coming. However his blind side is a major handicap.

This is not justification for an A rank parameter.

Same as above.

I'd hope you're getting the idea by now.

MGI: B= Date used his great strength of will and spirit to fight forward. He has training in using his sword and is able to create enough magic to use his noble phatasm even if it will take a lot out of him and his master

Being trained in how to use a sword and being determined does not make you hold more magical energy.

Also, okay, it's not "magic". It's magical energy, or prana, or maryoku, or 魔力, or any of those. It's not magic. Don't call it magic.

LCK: D= Date is not very lucky as he seems to let his pride become arrogance and get him in the way of his destiny. He will push forward and not let luck decide the outcome of his fights

I like how you've like

managed to

totally misunderstand what LCK does.

Fiddle even said in the CS that LCK is "Ability to defy fate".

If you're saying "fuck you, destiny" then that would be high LCK.

That said, I do agree with a low LCK.

So keep it as it is, but know that every time you type a sentence, Tim Berners-Lee cries.

Class skills:
*leadership A= his leadership as a powerful daimyo of old. His leadership urges those who he fights with to push hard against the enemy. His loud cry for war rallies his allies to fight. Increases his own attack strength and those of allies.
*evasion C= Date has trained his body hard to avoid attacks and keep his sight on his enemy. He remains aware of his blind side and is able to use his good eye to a greater degree and dodge attacks

...

Okay, buddy, have you read FSN?

Have you watched the anime?

Have you read that garbage heap known as the wiki?

Because the wiki isn't this bad, and the wiki thinks Counter Magic is a thing.

This isn't a class skill.

So, I'll try and break this down for you.

A class skill means a skill inherent to the class container.

In other words, skill that all Sabers have.

Let's look at all the Sabers in canon to see who have the CLASSIC CLASS SKILLS of evasion and leadership!

...

Oh.

None of them do.

That's because the Class Skills are Magic Resistance and Riding.

I'd keep going, but I like to think I have more class than that.

You know, class.

C L A S S

*Charisma A= Date is very charismatic and has won over those in his court. He remained stoic and prideful even when facing enemies that would kill him. He proves this by going to hideyoshi after he delayed a response and was able to survive being executed.

Charisma A is like

Iskandar and Emperors.

Date Masamune is not like

Iskandar or an Emperor.

The Charisma skill is not being a smooth talker, it's leading troops.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, but you're somehow six hours behind so you're always as wrong as possible.

*diplomat B= Date was a great diplomat and is proven with his ability to allow the Christian missionaries to come to his port after he convinced those of his court to lift the ban on Christians entering the country.

What is this skill

What is any of this

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Noble Phantasm(s):
Able to use his sword to summon a blue flame dragon to his aid aiming it at his enemy to destroy them.

It sure is a good thing that image is royalty-free

I sure wouldn't want to get sued

ahaha

aha

ha

they said dying wasn't supposed to hurt like this

Name: Fire of Ōshu

Title: date maru

Rank: A

NP Type: Anti-Army

Range: 3

Maximum Number of Targets: 100

HERE WE GO AGAIN

Description: Summons a dragon from his sword scabard that comes out of his sword

I was joking about the Beyblade thing and it actually happened holy shit

Also jesus christ this english

Anyway, uh

So.

A Noble Phantasm's a recreation of feat or a crystallized legend.

Now, I'll confess I'm no Date Masamune expert, so correct me if I'm wrong, but uh.

I don't seem to recall him summoning a dragon.

I don't recall this at all.

I just remember him being nicknamed "the one-eyed dragon".

I didn't know nicknames gave you A rank Noble Phantasms.

Really makes you think.

Oh yeah, as an aside, there are Western Dragons and Eastern Dragons. I'm assuming this is the latter since I'm like, 90% sure Japan's eastern.

And you, uh, might not have noticed since I'm not wholly sure you read the banlist or are capable of doing so, but eastern dragons are banned.

So uh, yeah.

Please stop.

the detailed dragon that was smithed in The design of the sword itself emerges from The sword to appear at his side. The dragon is dark blue and made from blue fire and stands 3 stories tall and roars as it stands next to Date.

Soshite tsudoishi STARDUST

Hyakunen me no MEZAME NI YOBARETE

When he summons it and says "go Date maru!" and he thrusts his sword forward and the dragon strikes straight through destroying any enemies in its path that are unable to block it or dodge it.

Okay, so.

Here's the crux of it.

If I ignore your writing quality, your misunderstanding of mechanics, your ignorance of the banlist, and your utter failure to utilize the character sheet, then there's nothing.

If I ignore this profile's flaws and try to pretend they aren't there, I literally cannot conceptualize that without making your post utterly blank.

Failure is built into the essence of this character.

Denied with the twitch of the right eye, a half-hearted laugh, and the soft sound of crying as the lights dim.

I will not accept future reapplications.

Please have a good day, but not here.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@Turboshitter

As I said previously, please remove the rank-up on elemental attacks from the Personal Skill.

As I said previously, please change the range on the hut.

It's worth noting that you can call the prana furnace "inexhaustible" but it's really not, otherwise the Counter Force would break you over its knee.

The pestle cannot extend indefinitely as shifting it like that will require prana expenditure.

The mortar cannot carry an infinite amount of things as that would be Spatial Quarantine.

@Jangel13

Review of the revised version coming shortly, I must first increase my BAC.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@Turboshitter
Apologies, Fiddle and I will review this when the color has been changed so as to harm our eyes less.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@Jangel13

Class: Saber

Justify qualification for the class.

We have two sheets currently in contention for the remaining Saber slot, so your odds of getting in are low.

STR: S

S is not a rank.

CON: A

AGI: A

MGI: B

LCK: C

Please justify parameters of this level.

Class Skills: Saber class abilities allow him to use his dragon blade to destroy his enemies in a spectacular fashion. He has the ability to summon his dragon spirit to help him in a fight.

These are not Class Skills.

Personal Skills: Certain abilities a Heroic Spirit may have, such as Charisma, Artistic Talent, etc. Keep close to the legend; modifiers are temporary rank ups, not a rating of how good it is. Limit of three.

This is empty. This should not be empty.

Noble Phantasm(s):
Able to use his sword to summon a blue flame dragon to his aid aiming it at his enemy to destroy them.

Name: Fire of Ōshu

Title: Wrath of the one eyed dragon!

Rank: EX

NP Type: Anti-Army

Range: 3

Maximum Number of Targets: 100

Description: Summons a dragon from his sword that comes out of his sword and appears by his side. The dragon is dark blue and made from blue fire and stands 3 stories tall and roars as it stands next to Date. When he summons it and says "go Wrath of the one eyed Dragon!" and he thrusts his sword forward and the dragon strikes straight through destroying any enemies in its path that are unable to block it or dodge it.

Why does having a title with the word "dragon" in it give him an EX-ranked Noble Phantasm where he summons a dragon?

On the whole, I will be blunt in saying that this sheet baffles me. Very serious revision will need to be undergone before it is properly eligible for consideration.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@Over Illusion

]1. I'll change it right away.

2. I originally meant the skill to use True Ether-elemental damage, but even though it's been tainted with the blood of Jesus Christ, I think it would make his Noble Phantasm far too strong for the Master or the Servant to handle. I'm keeping the long-range, Excalibur-ish beam of light, but I'm a lot more comfortable changing the element of the Noble Phantasm's attack to Fire, with bonus damage to Evil-alignment Servants.

3. That's workable. I'll get it done right now, as well.

4. I think I'll need to ask permission before increasing this NP's rank to anything above B. The Holy Lance is indeed a relevant artifact in Modern Christianity, but would it be fair to raise it to a rank rivaling or nearing that of Excalibur? Or would that be too powerful for this iteration of the Holy Grail War?

@Gummy1295

True Ether isn't an element, it's just a type of magical energy. If you're giving additional damage then I'll need a metric. I'd also appreciate justification for why it's stronger against Evil-Aligned.

Longinus is viewed as in the same light as Rhongomyniad according to the latter's sheet, so I personally wouldn't have any issue with placing it on the level of Rhon. Of course, prana cost would scale with that as well. Best to check if Fiddle has any objection to that himself, though.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

Alright I'm no longer dying so:

@Kalleth
For Saber, please add in Class Skill descriptions before I do a proper look-over. I'm also assuming you're changing some stuff based on what you said in the Discord.

For Nick, why did this tutor go out of their way to find some kid with mediocre circuits and teach them? Were they just weird like that?

Also, as an aside, the General Fundamentals course takes five years to complete, and that was for a guy who was hailed as a prodigy. Very unlikely he'd be able to do it in less, all the more so when you've got all his other stuff.

Keep in mind that the fist wraps will only let you plunder Od, which is very small in how much energy there is compared to mana. Also, I will be blunt in warning you that if you punch a Servant with those on, there is a very decent probability you will explode.

The gloves don't really work the way you want them to as far as the positive feedback loop goes, since the amount of prana you get from punching someone isn't going to be very much at all. If you punch someone, you'll only be getting a few units of prana from them per punch, so you can maybe make the subsequent punch a bit stronger, but the second punch won't be any stronger than the third, and won't be much stronger than the first.

---

@ADamnFiddle @Over Illusion What do you think would be appropriate prep time for the hut and the horsemen? I was thinking the hut could maybe be built over the course of a couple days, and imbuing all four horsemen with E-Rank Servant power would take maybe a week.

@Turboshitter

Two days for the hut is fine.

Recall what I said about Servant-tier familiars. Avicebron's, which require 800 year old materials and additional prep, aren't at that level at all, and even Paracelsus's Elementals which require making a philosopher's stone as step one aren't. If you want the horsemen to reach the level of Servants, it'll take more time than the Grail War will last for. I recommend scaling them down so you can make creating them more feasible within the time constraints of the Grail's activity.

---

Decided to drop Agüeybana and replacing her with a newer, more well-known Servant of the same class.

So, let's make this Swift and deadly. Presenting another Rule 63'd warrior who fights with a pointy stick: Meet Longinus, better known as that one "guy" who pierced Jesus Christ's waist with his Lance to make sure he was dead.

Longinus

True Name: Longinus
Class: Lancer
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Appearance:



Parameters:

STR: B
CON: B
AGI: C
MGI: E
LCK: E

Bio: In most interpretations of the Christian Bible, Longinus is the name of the Roman centurion soldier who pierced the waist of Jesus Christ during his crucifixion, causing the last of the Five Holy Wounds on Jesus's body. After the events following the death of Christ, Longinus converted to Christianity and was eventually canonized as a Saint by the Vatican many years after his death.

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance: B ~ While Lancer-Class Servants don't usually sport a rank higher than C in this skill, Lancer's direct involvement with the son of God justifies a boost in this skill. At this level, Lancer is completely resistant to most types of modern Magecraft, bar spells at the level of High Thaumaturgy.

Personal Skills:

Saint: A ~ Lancer's acceptance into the Vatican's catalog of saints grants her a sizable boost to her Magic Resistance and increase her Luck parameter threefold (essentially changing her rank in the parameter to E++ or C while she possesses this skill. Any type of mental interference nullifies this skill, lowering her Magic Resistance to D and reverting her Luck parameter to E rank until the effects of the mental interference fade out.

Charisma: C ~ Before she impaled the son of God, Lancer was a high-ranking Commander in the Roman Army. As a result of her experience leading armies, she is adequately skilled at controlling a large group of people.

Noble Phantasm:

Name: Spear of Destiny ~ Holy Lance of Longinus
Rank: C
Type: Anti-Army
Range: 1-30
Maximum number of targets: 1-50

A spear tainted with the blood of Christ. When used as a melee weapon, the spear causes bonus True damage to Servants with an Evil alignment. The spear's true power manifests itself as a beam of Holy-elemental energy that emerges from the spear's head and travels in a straight line in the direction it was thrust, causing Holy-elemental damage to any opponent that comes into contact with it.

So, how about it?

@Gummy1295

Change the description for Saint to one more in line with the canon one.

I'm not sure what "Holy-elemental damage" is for the NP's purposes.

STR to C, CON to C, AGI to B.

While this isn't technically a problem, the lance is kind of a big deal in canon, so you could raise it above C rank if you're so inclined.

---

I made an Archer who focused on skills more due to what his legend provided so hopefully he is fine. I believe he is up for review~

Servant

^SERVANT

Name: Ekalayva, the Forsaken Student
Class: Archer
Gender: Male
Appearance:

Alignment: Chaotic Good

^BIO

Personality & History Ekalavya

Heir to the Nisadha tribe and by the time he ascended the throne as their last king, he was also their greatest hunter at the same time. Lost in the wilderness, Archer was taken in where he was raised by the tribe and taught their ways were he learned their ways of archery and hunter exceptionally fast. At the young age of eighteen, the chieftain of the tribe had sent him to learn from the greater masters so that he could learn from the best of the best. Learn the traditional archery form known as Danurveda taught by the on and Guru Drona, it would be the rocky start of his journey that would lead him on his path.

Upon being summoned into the Grail War, he has no opinions about the thing itself as the only Archer-class Servant there is no competition for the title of being the best archer. Being a fairly competitive person, he likes playing the game and feeling the rush of combat which will be suitable enough for joining the Grail War at the very least unless another motive encourages him. While not a bloodthirsty individual, he likes to see if these so-called 'Servants' have the skill to back themselves up and prove that they have the mettle of being summoned. He only hopes his Master is as capable of proving themselves to him and if not then he does not have to give much value on their opinion.

Despite his firm beliefs, he is not a boring stoic but likes to have his own fun and entertainment to pass the time. Not telling the truth but neither lying, he likes to tell dance around the question and give vague answers that would lead to nowhere. Along with his behavior eventually, ends up with him being sarcastic and playful despite sometimes it not being proper during the moment at times. If he is the one giving advice, it often is brushed aside as a snide comment that his previous behavior had built an expectation of what to receive from him until they learn the mistake themselves. In the end, whether he wins or loses the War doesn't matter to him so long the trip between start and finish was enjoyable then it was worth it.

Despite some exaggeration in his legends, his relative anonymity leaves him remaining true to who he was truly in life. Being a simply extremely skilled archer but never was granted the honor of wielding the Divine Construct, Pashupata, or ever managing to defeat the god Krishna in his lifetime. All he was in his story was a simple little cog, collateral, something that was needed to be tended to as the gods set the stage for their chosen heroes. He during his life time had the potential to become a exceptional heroic spirit on the level of his pantheon's choices like Arjuna or Karna but this is where he popped up in the end.

Weapon: His Bow primarily

^PARAMETERS

STR: B
CON: C
AGI: A
MGI: C
LCK: E

^{CLASS SKILLS}

• Independent Action A: Ekalavya is a hunter who can prowl and wait for hours until the perfect moment presents itself. Using great Noble Phantasm would indeed increase energy consumption and require assistance from his the reserves of his Master, but outside of that, he can take action without them. With Rank A Independent Action, it is possible for him to stay in the world for around a week without an anchor into this world.

• Magic Resistance C: While born in an age before the decline of mystery, he never dealt with magic in his legend. With this rank, he is able to cancel spells with chants below two verses but cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

^{PERSONAL SKILLS}

• Instinct B++: A refined sixth sense that developed during his life as part of being the matchless hunter in his clan that allowed him to follow his prey. It is more suited for tracking rather than use in combat, allowing Archer to predict the movement of his opponents without penalties to his vision or sight at its full potential. Given that he is pursuing a target this skill is gets a plus modifier along with another plus modifier is given when that target is unaware as well. After the first round of entering combat, this skill loses all modifiers to it but is still capable of reducing penalties to his sight and hearing by half.

• Vitrification B: A skill that is an intrinsic requirement into being a hunter of any kind and more for a great hunter to have. It allows Archer to blend into his surrounding, reflecting his ability to stalk and approach various kind of game and fell them before they knew the bow was drawn. It is an ability that can emulate Presence Concealment to a degree at [ C Rank ] and more effective the farther away the target is from Archer. If no hunter could disguise their intentions, all the sensitive animals of the land would flee from the intruders on their homes.

• Clairvoyance C+: At this rank, Archer is able to see at far distances and track fast moving objects without a problem so long it is within sight. With the combination of the Instinct Skill, Archer is able to obtain a plus modifier when trailing his target with his eyes that can pierce through invisibility if he sees them transitioning or signs of their presence. Within reason, mundane obstruction such as shrubbery and vegetation are treated as if they didn't count in hiding a tracked target or partially negated. It is an ability that hunters have with their eyes that can follow game into the wilderness while in the chase of game.

^{NOBLE PHANTASMS}

Name: Danurveda
Title: Stolen Lessons of Knowledge
Rank: B
NP Type: Anti-Unit (Support)
Range: -
Maximum Number of Targets: 1
Description: Despite rejection from his preferred teacher Guru Drona, Archer took it upon himself to continue in teaching himself and self-improvement. Beginning a disciplined program of self-study over many years that honed his skills under the watch of interested Gods. With time, he became an archer of exceptional prowess, greater than Drona's own student Arjuna in what was settled in a contest. After his victory, he was accepted as a student for many years which is this Noble Phantasm crystallized as his skill and dedication.

His achievement gave him the skill 'Uncrowned Eternal Arms Mastership' at [ A Rank ], as the representation of the self-taught way that Archer learned his skills. To those who do not know the true identity of Archer perceives his parameters are seen as one rank lower and his skills are seen two ranks lower than what they actually are. With the self-teaching that he placed himself under, he pushed himself to be the best student even if his teacher did not recognize him officially and from that dedication, he received the skill of 'Wisdom of the Guru (False)' where he learned all the techniques of his teacher's advance military arts at [ C Rank ].

Name: Dakshina
Title: The God's Sundering Renewal
Rank: A
NP Type: Anti-Unit (Support)
Range: -
Maximum Number of Targets: 1
Description: A testament to Archer's dedication to not only his teacher but the craft of archery, even if he would be opposed to reaching his full potential. After the defeat of Arjuna, his teacher Drona asked for his thumb, a request that would destroy his form of archery if he meant it. He did and thus Archer gave his thumb to Drona who received the idea from the Goddess Krishna who wanted to decrease Ekalavya's strength and making him a weaker opponent not only after he defeated the Goddess' favored Arjuna but for the future that could come from him. The opportunity only served to strengthen Archer and grew from such a setback, being a person who enjoyed the journey rather than the destination.

After his offering to his teacher, he relearned how to wield the bow both hands and once more properly that bestowed him the skill [ Eternal Arms Mastership (Bows) ] at [ A-rank ]. Crystallizing the growth that bloomed despite the spite placed upon him that pushed him forward to making himself even greater. His skill in Archery allowed him to perform extraordinary feats that wouldn't be possible, defying what logic would dictate as impossible or difficult such as bending around corners or arcing in directions simply from his own skill. As a side effect though, his Luck Stat has been decreased significantly through the divine intervention within his life negatively.

^NOTES

---

Hopefully Archer isn't too over the top, if anything needs to be changed, just shoot me the areas that need revisions to them~

@Italicized

Instinct isn't seeing the future, it's feeling the future. I recommend removing it and sticking with Clairvoyance.

Vitrification isn't blending into the environment so much as just mental interference protection by being so calm; the emulation of PC is more akin to something that arises from the plus modifier in not!Kojiro's case, so remove that bit.

The first NP doesn't feel justified in being an NP given that you're basically using an NP slot to get two extra Personal Skill slots. I'd recommend removing Instinct, redoing Clairvoyance accordingly, and subbing in Uncrowned to the then-open slot.

I don't really see the point of the second Noble Phantasm, since Eternal Arms Mastership just prevents mental interference from messing with your fighting skills, but Vitrification blocks out mental interference already, so it feels very redundant. Also the same issue as above applies in that this is basically just using an NP slot as a skill slot. As an aside, even EMIYA can make his arrows into curveballs, so something like that is fairly standard for Archers.

---

I've been busy recently, so I've missed some things, but looking back it seems like a few people are quite against Achilles. Maybe I'll switch him for another hero.

@ManyThings

Don't feel obligated to by any means; neither Fiddle nor myself have any objections with him from a balancing perspective. If you would like to then you're welcome to, but yeah listen to your heart.

---

I expect to have my Master application done soon. I've ran into a few issues, but I guess that everything shall be alright by this weekend.

@Kuroyomihime

Neat.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@ADamnFiddle
Has there been a second Saber yet? I saw Mordred was here, and thought 'how about that other big traitorous knight?' I've been thinking of playing him for a while now, and he's pretty easy to fit into the one NP, three skills mould.

(Apologies to Tite Kubo)

Saber Ganelon

Name: Ganelon

Title: The Paladin of Treachery

Class: Saber

Gender: Male

Appearance:



Alignment: Neutral Evil

Personality: A cynic to his core, Ganelon is a pragmatic man who despises pretension. He has no regard for the concepts of loyalty or honour, and will happily betray any Master who sends him on a suicide mission. To Ganelon, a 'hero' is nothing more than a murderer, and a 'traitor' is someone unfortunate enough to be on the losing side.

He doesn't attempt to hide his cynicism, but will often frame it as humour when talking to people he's trying to deceive. He likes to poke holes in other people's philosophies, but hides the level of venom he often feels for them. If he were to meet a 'true hero', someone without the flaws that his peers had, he would attempt to prove them wrong, to bring them down to his level.

Still, he doesn't desire revenge, or to undo the past, or to destroy others. His wish is for a world without hypocrisy, a world where murderers aren't glorified, where traitors aren't vilified. Perhaps, such a person longed to be a hero, once. But he has long since forgotten such a pointless wish.

History: The treacherous villain from The Song of Roland. He is the titular Paladin's uncle, and though not often counted among the twelve peers, was also a member. Upon being volunteered for what he considered a suicide mission - taking a message of peace to the Muslim forces in Spain - by his nephew, Ganelon secretly swore vengeance upon him and Charlemagne's court. Instead of delivering the treaty, he sent a declaration of war, and then offered to betray the Franks, plotting to kill Roland. After the battle, Ganelon's treachery was discovered, and though he defended it as legitimate revenge, he was found guilty. He was then gruesomely executed, torn apart by horses.

Unrecorded by the histories is Ganelon's part in Charlemagne's earlier conflicts. While most of the other Paladins took part in romantic adventures, Ganelon served as Charlemagne's black ops Paladin, one who assassinated and massacred any who opposed the king. For somebody who had seen the dark side of such a 'hero', Ganelon grew to despise the hypocrisy of those who surrounded him. Those who called themselves heroes, but rampaged across the country. Those who called themselves Christian, but massacred thousands. Such people were as deserving of death as those they visit it upon.

Weapon: The sword Murglais, his Noble Phantasm. His second sword is nameless, a gift from Valebrun, that he uses when wishing to disguise the nature of his Noble Phantasm. He also has his warhorse, Tachebrun, though it is not a Noble Phantasm.

Parameters:
STR: B
CON: B
AGI: B
MGI: C
LCK: D

Class Skills
Magic Resistance: C
Cancels spells with a chant below two verses. An essential skill for a Paladin of the Saber class, though it seems his lack of piety has reduced the rank somewhat.

Riding: B
Most vehicles and animals can be handled with reasonable skill. This does not extend to Phantasmal species. A natural skill for a knight.

Personal Skills

Golden Rule: C+
A skill reflecting the rewards Ganelon received for his betrayal of Charlemagne. Under normal circumstances, acquiring moderate amounts of money is possible, but after betraying another, Ganelon's fortune regarding wealth will spike massively.

Instinct: C
The ability to identify the optimal course of action during a fight. For Ganelon, the ability is limited, and mainly used to discover whether a certain fight can be considered a suicide mission. He can easily tell if an enemy is one that is 'impossible' for him to overcome.

Espionage: B
The ability to make one's presence fail to register as hostile. The perfect skill for a 'traitor'. Ganelon's hostile intent is very difficult to discern, until he attacks or makes his plan known.

Noble Phantasm

Murglais: Black Brand of Death
B-Rank Anti-unit
Targets: 1

Some say that Murglais was once a holy blade, blackened by Ganelon's oath of treachery upon the relics sealed in the blade's pommel. This is not the case. Murglais, now and always, was a tool for efficient murder. No matter how bright the sword might seem, no matter how pure the wielder, it is still simply a way of killing others. This is the concept that the sword embodies. Anyone viewing the drawn Murglais can tell that it is not a hero's weapon, that it is a cursed blade, nothing more than a tool of murder.

Upon striking the enemy's flesh, Murglais leaves a black mark on the target. If Murglais touches the mark for a second time, the target will die. A high luck-check may prevent this, as might certain skills, but otherwise, the target simply perishes. It is a weapon more suited to an Assassin than a Saber, more to a spy than a paladin.

@SSW

CON to C.

Remove the horse.

Golden Rule to D+ since he's not surpassing Gil with the modifier active.

Justify Instinct.

Keep in mind the NP's a curse and will be fucked by anti-curse stuff of a sufficient grade.

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@Over Illusion

If you're looking for some historical explanations for Agüeybana's Noble Phantasm, I've come up with a few.

Defense Nullifying Effect ~ The original Taino tribe would go into battle wearing little to no clothing or armor. Just like the description of the Noble Phantasm states, the spear would be able to even out the disadvantage by ignoring the opponent's armor... As if they were riding into battle bollock naked.

Explosive Throwing Spear ~ Fun fact: The English word "hurricane" comes from the name of the Taino deity of storms, Juracán. You can see where this is going already. Instead of a rapid release of concentrated mana, a large Wind-elemental shock wave or a cyclone could be materialized instead.

(Lemme know if you're buying this shit.)

@Gummy1295

The defense nullification is a very big stretch unless there's something else you have to add to it. The spear could maaaaybe be viable if Lancer specifically has any sort of link to Juracán, say being viewed as an incarnation of Juracán or something, but otherwise yeah there's really no connection.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

<Snipped quote by Over Illusion>

I'm sorry about the Magic Resistance modifier, I totally thought I got rid of it.

Actually, yes, there is documentation of this Heroic Spirit actually existing. Like I mentioned in the History section, I loosely based her off of the original Arawak/Taino Chief of the same name... And I turned him into a girl, but that's nothing new to any Fate fan.

As for her spear, I had to make it up with bits and pieces from Puerto Rico's mythology and culture, since there is no recorded instance of a particular spear used by Agüeybana. The components of the transfigured spear—the wooden shaft carved from the Maga tree and the stone head carved from a holy artifact (zemi)—all come from materials that actually exist. The Maga tree produces the sturdiest wood out of all the island's endemic trees, and its flower is currently Puerto Rico's National Flower. The zemi are small stone sculptures that bear the faces of the Tainos' holy deities.

The Atlatl is a real weapon used by actual Native Americans that launched short spears using leverage as a long-range alternative to a bow and arrow. I'm personally not sure if the Taino people had access to the weapon, but it's a characteristic weapon of the "Indians" that were also conquered by Columbus.

As for the throwing spear, I admit to making it a shittier copy of Gáe Bolg...

@Gummy1295

No right, I understand the historical figure itself, what I was asking for anecdotes for are specifically the spear-throwing and the defense nullification. Any sort of anecdotes that, if you squint, taking something like "ignores armor class" as an effect makes sense to some degree, things like that.

Either way I'll talk this over with Fiddle when he's off work.

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@SSW
Will give it a look-over later today. I don't believe we have another Saber sans Mordred.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@Seirei No Hai
Ragnar is good to go, though I would recommend keeping my earlier remark in mind when you consider strategy.

Fate/Vacuous Radiance

@Gummy1295
Yeah, must have missed that, my bad.

Remove the modifier from Magic Resistance. Like Fiddle said, Protection from Wind covers that already, so there's no need for it.

Please justify the defense nullification aspect of the spear, as well as the thrown attack. Are there historical anecdotes or anything like that you're pulling from?

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As for the range, I worded it that way because even if a target is out of range, both her NPs are highly mobile and can simply reposition.

@Turboshitter

If this was the case then every Rider's NP would be 1-99.

For the Bounded Field, it should be the range of the Bounded Field itself. You can use Bloodfort as inspiration, but since it's a hut it should be a decent amount smaller.

For the mortar and pestle, range should be 1, since it only affects itself and Caster.