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Recent Statuses

10 days ago
Current 2025: Time to enter my Villain Era
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11 days ago
New Year, Same Me. Because since when was I the problem?
6 likes
23 days ago
Happy Holidays! Because I HAVE to be that person :)
3 likes
27 days ago
Ummm I'm gay so I listen and I DEFINITELY judge
2 likes
2 mos ago
Happy Christmas everyone!
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Bio

Well now that I got the customary "post once" requirement out of the way....

HELLO

Welcome to my safe space. Well, about as safe as one space can be, I guess. If you are here looking for something, I am very sorry to disappoint you, but I made fresh cookies! Come sit a spell.

I guess I'll do some more in-depth stuff about myself. My name is Nick and I am 33 years old living in Illinois. I am a therapist and clinical responder (which is a fancy way of saying I go out on police calls to provide mental health assistance). Been doing therapy for a few years now and I absolutely love it!

I am a gay, cisgender man. I came out last year in January (smack dab in the middle of a pandemic. Timing was always my downfall). There is still much I am learning, but I am proud and happy to be who I really am and not have to hide it anymore!

I am an avid gamer, especially roleplaying games (cue surprised and shock noises). I also enjoy writing and reading, especially mysteries. I am not new to roleplay, I promise. I have been doing it for years now in different formats. I am experienced, even if it doesn't seem like it.

I use humor as a coping mechanism for sure, but I also like laughing and enjoying myself. Life can be pretty sad and upsetting for the most part and I don't want to add to it.

Whew! That got deep!

I will be poking my nose around in spaces and hoping to jump headfirst into this. Some interests I have in terms of roleplay settings include superheroes, DnD, science fiction/fantasy, mysteries, thrillers, horror stuffs, apocolypse, and espionage. And I am a fan of most things pop culture. If you have any suggestions or possible roleplays you think I would love, please let me know.

Otherwise, stick around! This is gonna get wild!

Most Recent Posts



Location: New York City, Twin Seasons
Skills: N/A





Verity's mind was elsewhere, though she also noticed the number of police and ambulances. What was going on? It must be something in the water making people act particularly crazy today. Finally, they pulled up to the cafe. "You too. Thank you." She got out and looked around. This was not her choice of locale for an interview. She would have preferred a nice restaurant with a Michelin star or something similar.

Be that as it may, she still went in. Once inside she sensed...what. Something happening? Some people's attention was directed towards the back. She looked around to see if her interviewer was there yet. Assured that they weren't she made her way to an open booth. No one had greeted her and perhaps they were too busy.

As she sat down she took out her phone to check for messages, seeing none. She started to scroll through the News app on her phone. Considering what she had seen so far, surely there was something more going on.
Calli looked around her. Last she checked she was in her dorm room catching herself up for the upcoming week of classes. Instead, she was in some void. It felt unending like an echo that didn't reverberate back. She was dreaming. She had to be. She wasn't back in the Trials. Blackjack got out, though they were worse for wear. She strode forward hoping to come to some exit or identify something so she could ground herself.

It was then she heard the distant footfalls of someone running. Someone making a desperate attempt to get to their goal quickly. Every time she had been here she had been alone with her thoughts, as scary as they were sometimes. No one else was supposed to be here.

The footsteps got closer. Calli started backing away, unsure if the entity was friend or foe, though she knew better than anyone how she was her worst enemy.

The steps slowed down now though they could still be heard and were close. Calli glanced around. She spotted no one.

And then she was flung backward.

Calli landed with a resounding thud. She looked up and saw something forming. Materializing. It was a person. Gradually the form too shape and the entity began to clap. Slowly. Mockingly.

Their face showed with a smirk. The blonde hair fell behind them. A cold, calculating gaze of her own making.

"Hiya sweetheart. Miss me?"

Calli lay there, dumbfounded. It was her. Except this was not the simulation here, though the two were similar. She no longer wore her Foundation suit with the letter F in the middle. Instead, she was dressed in a dark blue shirt with black slacks. She walked forward, glaring down at Calli.

"You shouldn't be here..."

The figure tilted her head in a manner that spoke 'oh you just said something stupid'. "That's not very welcoming, is it? I consider you to be a sister. You had one before but, let's face it, they kind of dropped the ball on the whole sisterhood thing. No pun intended!" She began to laugh at her own joke.

"Seems I'll have to explain. You know that whole voice you had in your head? The one that told you how much of a failure you are? The one who ensured you remembered where you came from and how all your hopes and dreams and desires were basically worthless? How no one liked you and you could never match up to people's expectations? Well, here it is, manifested for your enjoyment! You should count yourself lucky. Not many people get to see their inner voice in person and the ones that do are usually put up in a nice all-white room with a self-hugging jacket. You're not insane!" The figure smiled, gesturing to the 'room' they were in.

"But when I am through with you, you'll wish you were."

Calli stood up quickly and faced her reflection. The other her laughed again. "It is so cute you think you can do anything here. You can't hurt me Calliope. But I can hurt you. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Hell, I can probably trigger any part of you at a moment's notice. Let's start with the easy ones."

Soon, the room warped and they were standing in Calli's therapist's office. Except instead of her therapist, the other Calli stood in a new outfit. She now had glasses on and was dressed in a smart red business-like suit. She sat at the desk and Calli felt herself fall back on to the chair she sat in before during many a session. She tried to get up but felt herself forced down, unable to move.

"Banjo. Andrew. Whatever the hell you call him, what's going on there? You literally left him to face his own demons alone. What you're presented with a choice to go alone or together and you choose alone? Some girlfriend. And you are so pushy? Have you once paused to consider maybe he doesn't want to get married or have children? You claim you want to move on from your family but you sure like acting exactly how they want."

Calli desperately wanted to shout how wrong she was...but couldn't. She had been having those exact thoughts. Banjo got hurt. Gil got hurt. The rest of Blackjack was hurt beyond what she knew and she couldn't do anything about it. And how much pressure had she been putting on Banjo? Her own father screamed for perfection and for things to be exactly as 'they should be'. But what did that mean? Wasn't she just falling into the exact roles set up for her? Wasn't she expecting Banjo to follow suit with her? She was so focused on being her own person and being someone other than 'Banjo's girlfriend' that she went to the other extreme without care.

"It's a mess up in here. Not sure how you plan to manage it. Maybe it's better if you just...ended things."

Calli looked up and before she could speak the room shifted again. This time she was on a table in what looked to be an operating room. The other Calli stood there in scrubs and a mask. Gloved hands ready to do....who knows what. Calli attempted to move but she was strapped in.She attempted to speak but couldn't. It was like she was under, prepped for surgery, but could sense everything.

"Don't worry. This isn't real surgery. But it will sure feel like it. Normally surgeons put you under but I thought...why? I want you to feel this. imagine how scared your team felt facing their own trials. Imagine how alone they were. Forced to be there seeing it all and being unable to stop it. That sounds like something. What's the word? Oh right..."

"Helpless."


The other Calli turned her back and grabbed something before she turned back. "Precious Calli doesn't want to feel helpless and yet puts herself in situations where she can't be anything but. You want to be saved. You want to be helped. Princess Calli in her tower waiting for someone to climb up and whisk her away and she is more than willing to hurt anyone that stands in her way. Even her own Prnce Charming. Face it Calli.

You don't have a leg to stand on!"


The other Calli raised her arms, brandishing a large blade before slamming it down on her leg. The same one she lost in the simulation. As it cut through, Calli felt force. Pain. Burning.

And then she woke up.




Calli sat up in bed, gasping for air. She pulled the covers off and felt her leg. It was still there.

Still there.

After the Trials walking took some time. The simulation messed her up so much she truly believed she lost her leg. She had to engage in some physical therapy to help her mind come back from the trauma. And even then, it lingered. She felt tingling often. The healer said it was normal and wouldn't last long, but that didn't make it easy.

She glanced over and saw her roommate was still sound asleep. Calli rubbed her eyes, feeling the sweat that formed on her forehead. She took a few more deep breaths.

That inner voice was ever present and now it got stronger. And its words rang true. She failed. She failed her team. She failed Banjo. She failed herself.

She curled her legs up so her knees met her chin and she laid her head down, knowing she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Or perhaps too scared to. Either way, she had to get ready soon. Classes started and she needed to put the work in.

But what did it matter? How could she possibly be strong enough to face adversity without losing it like she did?

She felt a headache coming on. Could she really do this?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Location: Southern Plateau, Dundas Island - Pacific Royal Campus
Welcome Home #3.010: Deep Breathing
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Interaction(s): Banjo (@Hound55), Gil (@Roman)
Previously: With Family Like This


| Two Days Ago


"So what brings you in today Calliope?" Dr. Trinh asked from her chair. Calliope was tentative taking a step in and she knew Dr. Trinh saw that. She probably made a mental note to add to her file. Ever since her 'nightmare' Calliope had not been herself. She was walking around like she was just a husk. People noticed. She saw them notice.

Calliope kept her hands in her lap, letting her fingers rub over her knuckles to the point of pain. "Isn't it obvious?" she said with venom-laced punctuation. She chastised herself. It wasn't Dr. Trinh's fault and she was here to help.

Still, Dr. Trinh smiled warmly. "I heard about the Trials. For whatever it is worth I am truly sorry you and your team went through that. I cannot possibly imagine what you went through." The words were nice, but even then Calli's hand gripped the knee of the leg she 'lost' in the simulation, almost like her brain was trying to remember if it was there or not.

"What you all went through is incredibly traumatic and no one is expecting any of you to bounce back from it quickly."

Calliope scoffed. "Sure doesn't feel like it. I already need to jump back into classes. And they still expect us to spar and train. I don't...I don't know if I am ready."

Dr. Trinh nodded. "No, I don't expect you are. Nor do I think any of your team members are also. That's the thing about trauma: it doesn't care if you are ready or not. Life moves on regardless and we along with it."

Calli looked up. "So...what? I'm expected to forget it happened and carry on like nothing happened?"

"No, of course not. It would help if you had time to heal and there is no shame in admitting it. My point is that others who do not know what happened will continue to try to push you all forward. I expect the school would like nothing more than to sweep the entire thing under the rug but that is hard to do with large-scale threats. This is going to require more than deep breathing and mindfulness. Trauma can impact multiple parts of you. Physically. Emotionally. Socially."

"Speaking of....how is Andrew?"





| Three Days Ago


Calliope had knocked on the door to Gil’s hospital room and felt stupid after. She opened the door and peered her head in.
“Gil? Are you up for a visit?”
Given the nature of what they had dealt with during the Trials, Calli wanted to be sure Gil’s wishes were respected.

Gil stirred restlessly, turning over in his bed and staring at the door and the head peeking around it longer than he should have without reply.
“Do what you want.” He finally said, morose and apathetic but secretly glad for the distraction and the break to monotony.

Calliope winced. This was not Gil as before but Gil as he is now and, from the sounds of it, it was bad. She moved inside and came around to his bed. He looked….for lack of a better word….powerless. It saddened her greatly that whatever had occurred inside the Trials had twisted him so much so that he no longer was the happy guy she knew before. Granted, was he really like that or was it his actor mask hiding how he really was?

”Hey, obvious question so feel free to answer obviously in kind but, how are you feeling?”
Gil let the question sit while looking pointedly from Calliope, to his casted leg, to the gauze about his person, and back to Calliope.
”Shit. You?” He finally offered, making his best effort at remaining cordial while conscious he was coming up distinctly short.
”Shit.” she said in agreement before she pulled up a chair and sat down. ”I won’t stay long if you don’t want but I wanted to check on you. I am…so sorry Gil. I cannot imagine what you went through.” She took some deep breaths to calm herself lest her emotions get the better of her. After all, she was walking around while he remained bedridden for who knows how long? ”This whole ordeal was just….I just can’t….it’s my fault.”

Gil raised an eyebrow and shifted uncomfortably, disarmed by the uncharacteristic display of emotion from the normally guarded and aloof Calliope.
”I just…had some perspective applied.” He said, his voice attempting to sound blasé but shaking as memories he’d been failing to repress surfaced once again. He nearly scowled at Calliope’s guilty confession, though, and when he spoke again there was a tone approaching parental scolding in his answer. ” It’s no one’s fault but whoever set up the sabotage. Don’t do yourself a disservice. Or anyone else, for that matter. Last thing we need now is a martyr.”

Calliope moved her hands on her lap, one covering the other, as she felt a small tremor coming. ”No, I know it’s whoever sabotaged the Trial’s fault for us being stuck in there. But we never should have separated. It was exactly what they wanted. And because we did you got hurt. Banjo got hurt.” She let it fall that she also got hurt, but her injuries were mild in comparison. She gripped her leg, thankful it was still there. ”Point is, I am still sorry. When we were together we figured out what to do but as soon as we were separated things fell apart. The things I saw and heard. The things I continue to see when I close my eyes and listen to my thoughts.” Calli quickly realized how depressing she was acting. Gil deserved better. ”Are they taking care of you in here? Need me to sneak you in something?” She attempted to keep it light, but even then the light in her eyes had long since evaporated. That inner voice attempting to come back in.

”Look,” he started, adopting a softer tone, though he wasn’t sure what Calliope wanted here; absolution? Forgiveness? Gil was in no position nor mood to grant either. At the very least, he could allow an exorcism of misplaced emotion, but he didn’t want to encourage the perception of his bed-ridden body being Blackjack’s stand-in for a confession booth. He was sure that whatever everyone else had endured within the sabotaged trial was as deeply distressing as his own experience, but he was hardly capable of shouldering his own scars, let alone the rest of the team’s.
”Whatever they wanted to do to us - whatever they did do to us - was going to happen regardless of our own choices.” He sighed, sitting forward and rubbing his eyes as he placed a bandaged hand over Calliope’s own. ”They had the run of it, simple as that. Nothing we could have done.”

They held eyes for a long handful of seconds, and Gil almost saw himself reflected in Calliope’s face; a well-constructed wall slowly crumbling, leaving the builder unsure what was even behind it. He sat back, turning his face away. ”They’re treating me fine. Narcotics on demand. Not allowed a drink yet but only a few days until they let me out, I think. So I’ll take a raincheck on a beer or ten.”

Calliope nearly wept as Gil comforted her. She also chuckled. ”Heh, you’re the one in the hospital. I’m supposed to be cheering you up.” Still, Gil’s words were true. She knew it. It still didn’t unleash the guilt she felt and might feel going forward. They may not have been able to stop what happened, but she would be damned if they continued. Someone set them up. She was sure the Foundation was partly responsible, she just didn’t know how yet. ”Well when you get out and are able to, drinks are on me.” She let a moment linger. She didn’t want to continue to unload on him. He had enough trouble. ”If you need anything Gil, even after you get out of here, let me know. Someone’s going to have to step up to take care of you lot.”

”It sounds like you need to take care of yourself, first, Calliope.” Gil replied, an urbane tone masking genuine concern. ”Or maybe let that glib Aussie of yours take care of you. One of the two.”

At the mention of Banjo Calliope’s face fell, though she did her best to hide it. That was another matter she would have to address. Banjo was hurt and would be for his life. Despite him acting nonchalant about it all she couldn’t help but notice the energy shift while she sat with him in his own hospital room. The things left unsaid spoke more than actual words. ”He’s done a fine job so far. I’ll be fine.” The words were pretty but the meaning behind them left very little to the imagination. And whatever was going on, she didn’t need to pester Gil with it.
Gil felt the energy change - the chill in the air and Calliope’s crestfallen expression said everything her words didn’t.
”Hm. I suppose you know what’s best.” He answered, and left the matter there.

Silence hung for what seemed like hours, though it was only a few moments. ”Well, I don’t want to take up too much more of your time. I meant what I said though, please let me know if you need anything. Helping others helps ourselves. My therapist told me that and, while I didn’t believe her at first, I am slowly starting to.”

Gil let the words pass without comment; he had little interest in talking of therapy and healing. Instead, he smiled warmly in a practiced expression, though it did not meet the eyes, as Calliope stood, and the expression fell as soon as she stepped out.




Calliope sat in the cold chair in the hospital waiting room. She had just finished visiting Gil and it left her feeling numb. Gil had been a presence she enjoyed before but it was like emotions were sapped in that room. She could hardly blame him. Whatever had transpired in the Trials had impacted Gil so heavily it altered the man before.

The same could be said with Banjo.

Gil had brought him up and she recalled the last time she went to see him. As he sat in his own room ready to be checked out and continue with physical therapy and monitoring she could feel something different. It was hard to put it into words but she could tell something had shifted between the two of them. It wasn't that she didn't love him and want to be with him. But she could see every mistake she made concerning him before her. And surely he could with her. They held hands, him rubbing his thumb over hers. He would crack jokes, make the hospital staff miserable every time he tried to get up to leave and she all but forced him to stay in bed. She knew he was feeling hurt, physically and mentally. She couldn't take his pain away and wasn't that one of her responsibilities? Not to shoulder it all, but to alleviate some of the weight?

Once he was done for that day she kissed him and left. As she exited and found herself in the hospital lobby, she finally let it out. She put her face in her hands and wept. It felt oddly comforting to finally unleash the beast that had been held back. Some of the others in the lobby came up to her to express condolences, thinking she lost someone close to her.

How could she tell them that the person lost was herself?




| Two Days Ago


"He's healing. He'll forever have that limp, but he's cracking jokes and being a general nuisance."

Dr. Trinh nodded. "You both went through something and I am sure it brought you both closer together. However, shared trauma has a way of showcasing the points we try to hide from others. I encourage you to share them with him. It will be hard, I won't lie. And I know your history of opening yourself up has not gone well, but from what you tell me, I think he would understand."

Calliope thought it. Dr. Trinh had a point. And maybe in the future, she'll listen. But not now. She needed to heal first. And make some hard choices.

The session quickly wrapped up after that. Calliope stood up and looked around the room. What was once a safe space had been marred. She left quickly.

As she did so her mind raced back to someone she hadn't spoken to much. She had wanted to see her also but couldn't for whatever reason. Calliope couldn't help but wonder. Was she involved in all of this somehow?

She let it percolate for a bit before she tossed the thought aside. She needed to get ready. Classes would be starting up soon.


Peregrine Mayfield




Location: Mansion
Skills: N/A
Fit Of The Day



Max had decided to challenge her, the poor fool. Little did he know how often she read mystery books or listened to true crime podcasts. She was practically an expert apart from the actual police training, but since when did that matter? She lifted her hand in a mock anime laugh pose and proceeded to chuckle loudly. "Oh, how amusing. This will be fun then. When you lose Max I promise to be the most gracious winner."

Mira was getting ready to set it up. "I would like a Sherlock Holmes-esque game, but I am open to whatever. A change of scenery will be good." she said, indicating towards Jaclyn. She was ready to jump into character and win this thing. No one else stood a chance!


Location: New York City, Verity's Office -> On Route
Skills: N/A





Verity identified the Uber immediately, mentally thanking Trudy for the luxury. Verity approached the man who opened the door for her. She nodded her agreement upon identifying her and got in. It was comfortable and calm. Once she was settled they were off.

Normally she didn't want to be bothered on rides, but the man was friendly enough. "I am well. I hope your day is going all right also." Verity thought back to the police presence and the ambulance. Their day as not going well. She closed her eyes and shut it out. She needed to be ready for the interview. She didn't let it on but this was important. How she presented herself paved the road for the future. One clip of her saying anything untoward would go viral. Women especially had to be careful. The delicate balance of being a professional in her field left her vulnerable to many opinions. Why wasn't she married anymore? Did she cheat? Did he cheat and, if so, what did she do to cause him to cheat? Why no kids? If she had kids were they talking to her? Is she pretty? Is she too pretty to be a businesswoman? Is she good at her job or did she sleep her way to the top? Is she a monster for wanting to work? Is she too weak to be anything else?

She sighed inwardly. She glanced out the window as the skyscrapers and hustle and bustle of people and cars passed her by. This city, despite being home, never felt less like it.
Hi, this sounds just up my alley!
@Apollosarcher Ok I added a little bit more. I would say she's new to the Wardens, but not brand new.
Rules for the RP

1: Posting will be done at least once per 10 days. If you wish to post more than once in that time period, you are welcome to do so, but keep in mind others who may need more time to get something up. We do not want to progress so far that we leave others behind
-If you find you are unable to post in that time period, I ask that you let me know. Real life gets in the way and it is understandable

-If you intend to collab on a post, I ask that you try to get collabs done within the 10 day span. If it is going to take longer, perhaps consider making it a Part 1 and Part 2 deal. If that cannot happen, please communicate with me.

2: Be respectful to others. If you find you are having issues with someone else in the RP, I ask that you resolve them in private.
3: This RP will be set in the 1800s during the Regency period. As such, historical issues will come up. Certain groups of people were not treated kindly during this era. Sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. are all things that are expected. If you intend to use any of these issues in a post, I ask that you please offer a Trigger Warning. If you find you cannot handle these in the RP setting, I suggest finding a different RP. None of these will be tolerated in the OOC or on Discord.
4: Romance can and will happen but I draw the line at explicit scenes. This is a rule for this RP and well as the Guild overall. If you would like to write out a scene, I ask that you do so in the comfort of a private message. Any scene should fade-to-black before it gets that far.
-This RP is for adults so all players are 18 years old or older. Characters will also be 18 years old or over. If you intend to use a child in the RP as a support please keep in mind the nature of the RP.

5: This will be a 'One Main Character Per Person' RP but I encourage you to flesh out your story with a number of supporting characters. If you want to use someone else's supporting character in your own post, please ask that individual first and ensure they are being portrayed correctly.
6: Character death can happen, though this will always be communicated with the individual. If your character dies in the RP you are allowed to create a new character.
7: This is a game full of secrets and changing loyalties. I ask that you please not spoil anything in the OOC or Discord so others may enjoy the mystery.
8: Combat will happen. If your characters are in combat, whether between player characters or with NPCs, I expect you to respect each other and determine how it plays out. Your character will win fights. Your character will lose fights. It is just as fun to lose as it is to win.
9: Everyone will have their moments to shine in this RP. If you have a story idea, please share it with me to see how we can incorporate it into the overall plot. I want this to be a collaboration of everyone creating something fun and meaningful.
Hi, I have been circling this for a bit now. Is there room for another?
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