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3 mos ago
Current Luckily history suggests an infinite ability for people to be shit heads ;)
1 like
1 yr ago
Achmed the Snake
1 like
2 yrs ago
It's kind of insane to me that people ever met without dating apps. It is just so inefficient.
2 likes
2 yrs ago
One, polyamory is notoriously difficult to administer
4 likes
2 yrs ago
I'm guessing it immediately failed because everyone's computer broke/work got busy/grand parents died
9 likes

Bio

Early 30's. I know just enough about everything to be dangerous.

Most Recent Posts

"Can't you do something about that?" Markus yelled at Emmaline as another blast of arcane energy slashed down, blasting a smoking hole in the decking. Emmaline ducked under the spray of splinters with a squwak. Now they were clear of the of the tunnel the storm winds filled the sails to billowing. The Hammer took the bone in her teeth, picking up speed as the she made her way across the dark harbour.

"Magic you idiot!" Markus roared in exasperation. Emmaline put her hands on her hips.

"Oh really, use magic?" she snarked, then ducked under a blast of arcane energy that shattered ten feet of bulwark to splinters. It was one thing to work a few minor spells, but to go up against a sorceress who might very well remember a time before Sigmar strode the land.

"Well we have to do something!" Markus roared.

"Captain!" Sketti shouted, pointing a finger at the entrance to the harbor. A great chain was raising slowly from the water, dripping black droplets down in an ebon rain. Emmaline watched in horror as their escape was slowly but surely closed off.

"Guns!" Emmaline shouted, "ready a broadside!" She didn't have time to explain the plan to Markus, so she simply ran down the companion way to the gun deck. Markus' bellow sent most of the crew running down after her, barefeet slapping the deck as they came. The crew seized the ropes and hauled, running the guns out in a series of rattling booms. Emmaline climbed on to the first cannon, wrapping her arms and legs around it.

"Uhh... Ma'am..." Calder, an old salt from Hochland, asked.

"Not that we don't appreciate the view," he continued, making a gesture to her rump as she clung to the gun. "But we will need to aim"

"Don't worry about that that, just fire when I say! Markus, hard a... left!" she shouted. Emmaline began chanting and fortunately Markus must have heard because the Hammer began to slew to port. The quatering wind became following, straining the canvas and piling on speed.

"We can't even see!" Calder protested, Emmaline's body blocking what limited view there was through the gun port. Emmaline ignored him, watching the dark elf chain as it rose from the water, following the line to where it met the stone in a great black iron ring. Arcane words spilled from her lips and hostile spells lashed down from above, but due to the turn, the bulk of the ship was now between Emmaline and the elven sorceress. The pegasus screamed in anger as the witch dove towards the ship.

"Fire!" Emmaline shouted and heard the snap of the flintlock a moment before the gun went off with a collosal crash of exploding powder. Emmaline clung on to the barrel as it rocketed backwards until it snugged up against the ropes, the sudden jolt sending her flying back into the surprised crew and bearing them to the ground.

"Back to...right!" she shouted but Markus had already seen what had happened. With a little arcane encouragement the ball flew true. Shattering the masonry that secured the ring in a spray of black stone. The chain dropped into the harbor like a decapitated snake. There was a cheer from the crew still on deck as they scented freedom.

Emmaline staggered up onto the deck in time to that the sorceress and her pegasus had swooped down, hovering a score of feet above the harbor entrance. Dark energy was gathering around her, coalecing into a spear of dark energy. It was impossible to be sure what the spell was, but she knew it couldn't be good.

"Have any other ideas?" Markus demanded.

"Just one," Emmaline responded. She waited another few moments while the fell strike gathered, and then threw her hands up. The chain exploded upwards from the water like a serpent. The pegasus realized it's peril a half second before a ton of steel hit it from below, the end of it glowing gold with the spell Emmaline's cannonball had carried had been burned into the link. The creature screamed as its legs and rib cage were pulped by the blow, it screamed it's death scream and fell from the sky. The sorceress leaped free, her dark spell fogotten as she lifted away from her dying steed on wings of darkness. Emmaline swatted at her with the chain but the ancient elf brushed it away with ease. The Hammer was racing between the tower now, a storm of bolts stabbing into the hull. A moment later they were free, bursting out into the open sea.
Emmaline and Neil hurried across the bridge. All around them the sounds of fighting could be heard. The crash of handguns, the ring of steel, and the brays and screams of men and beasts. She didn't know if the city was falling, she was no general, but the fact that there were beastmen in the streets meant they had gotten past the wall somehow. That had to be a bad sign. If Nuln fell would the whole Empire follow?

"Steady," Neil said, squeezing her wrist and bringing her back out a vision of beastmen swarming all over the Empire. They continued over the bridge, passing the bodies of a few luckless defenders struck down by the black fletched arrows. Emmaline momentarily wondered what they used for fletching, did beastmen have dye?

"Clear the street!" someone shouted, and a score of halberdiers tromped out of the smoke. They were dirty and battered, several bearing obvious wounds. The officer in charge was little older than Emmaline. He was blonde and might have been handsome if the didn't look so grim.

"Clear the street! Cl...M'lady," he staggered obviously shocked to see a woman in such surroundings. How he thought she might be a noble with all of her worldly possessions on her back she had no idea. What he made of Neil she had no idea.

"Halt!" he barked out and the soldiers clattered to a halt, turning outwards in a half circle of bristling spear points.

"We can escort you to saftey..." the officer began.

"What is happening?" Emmaline demanded, trying to watch in all directions at once. The soldier regarded the pair of them with puzzlment.

"The beasts collapsed a section of the wall, with a tunnel we think," the officer said, "we have been fighting to keep them contained, but M'lady we need to get you to saftey."

"I don't want to keep you bold fellows from your duty," Emmaline temporized, not wanting to saddle their escape with an escort. A beastial roar interuppted the conversation as a great beast burst from the smoke. It was eight feet tall and wrapped in slaps of muscle. Two great horns protruded from its head and a great metal ring was pinned through its bovine nose. It held an axe in its hands that was a broad as Emmaline's chest. It saw the men and let out a roar that sprayed spittle into the air before rearing back and charging.

"Form! Form!" the officer shouted, thrusting Emmaline behind him as his men squared up to form a line. The beast crashed into the spear points of the halberds, snapping several and roaring with pain. It grabbed on of the men with its hand and lifted him high. Another of the halbiders brought his weapon down on the things wrist with a wet chunk and a popping of tendons. The beast dropped the man as its fingers opened, dropping him to the ground.

"Forward!" the officer shouted, and the halbiders pushed forward, driving the beast backwards.

"Let's go!" Emmaline cried, dashing up the shallow steps and into the street Neil had indicated.
Updates today once I snort enough caffeine powder
Booze so bad that Emmaline wouldn't touch it was probably a smaller subset of alcohol than it should be, but she knew what Neil had meant. Hastily she gathered up clinking bottles, setting them on a table but the window. Outside the scene was degenerating rapidly. Militia armed with pikes were holding in places bottling up in the major streets to present a bristling wall of steel. Beastmen continued to spill out of the western streets, some charging blithely into soldiers, others vanishing into alleys or climbing through windows into buildings to bypass the defenders. A trio of beastmen went down as a handful of handgunners emerged from a street on the other side of the river, clumsy weapons belching smoke as the managed a ragged volley. An officer with a sword was shouting at them, waving a small sword in the air and pointing towards the west. The company double timed down the river bank, heading Emmaline assumed, towards whatever breach had been made in the walls. A dozen smaller beastmen were rushing towards the door of the tower, rusty axes held high. Emmaline tore a curtain down and began ripping it into strips and stuffing them into the necks of the bottle. Lifting one she snapped her fingers and ignited it, then pitched the improvised weapon out the window. It hit the pavement between the group and burst in a gout of rum scented flame. Beastmen screamed and scattered, liquid flame taking root in their matted greasy fur. They dashed in all directions, trailing greasy smoke, one going so far as to throw itself into the water. The crack of Neil' rifle tumbled one of the runners to the ground in a smoldering pile. The sudden and violent destruction of the assault party seemed to have momentarily calmed the scene. Beastmen were braying and shrieking as they hunkered down or slunk away into alleyways and warehouses, their oddly human eyes peering out.

"Maybe we should make a run for it?" Emmaline suggested as a group of pikemen attempted to advance down the riverside. The beastmen howled and charged, a mass of them all but throwing themselves onto the sharp blades. Even as the first wave died, more of them poured out of alleys and crashed down onto the flank of the militia. The formation bowed as though all of the members were suddenly faint, and then fell apart, disintegrating into a wild melee that negated the advantage of their formation. Emmaline licked her dry lips. Going outside did not have a lot to recommend it.
@XxFellsingxX you slip away without incident. Though once or twice you get an impression of shadows moving on the roof tops around you.

Fast forward to arriving at Kim's appartment.
@POOHEAD189

Slowly, reluctantly, the metal gives up its secrets. You detect the coiling enchantments of the fae have been burned into the led. Spells of seeing and of penetrating malice.

You suspect it was a normal bullet fired from a heavy rifle perhaps 7.62 or even heavier. The bullet was enchanted to slay a valkyrie and you can be pretty sure that they are still looking for her.
"You look pleased," Neil said as Emmaline returned to the Tower from her morning errands. She was dressed in a jerkin of supple leather with sleeves of gray silk slashed with a dull red. To further her disguise she had her hair done up on an elaborate braid, rather than the looser styles she normally favored.

"I am," she admitted, jingling a pouch of coins at her belt. Neil arched an eyebrow.

"I sold the Tower," she smilled, climbing the steps to the stone arch. Neil stared at her in consternation.

"We don't own the tower," Neil replied. Emmaline shrugged evasively.

"I uh... didn't make a big point of that," Emmaline explained. Drawing up a deed of ownership was a bit of a pain. Using magic to alter an existing deed was much easier. It would pose a problem when the real owner showed up with the real deed, but Emmaline would be long gone from the scene by the time anyone was actually comparing paperwork. Further discussion was interrupted by a sudden rumbling crash from the east. Emmaline assumed it was just another seige gun but the look on Neil's face told her otherwise.

"It that a cannon?" Emmaline asked uncertainly. Neil looked grim.

"It is a sap," Neil explained, his engineering school training able to discern the sound of cracking and tumbling masonary from simple cannon fire.

"Is that bad?" she asked, unfamiliar with the term.

"It is when... never mind. We need to get out of here as quickly as we can." Emmaline needed no further incentive, she hurried up into the tower and grabbed the last of her possessions, largley bottles of half processed alchemical recipes she had been working on, as well as the wyrdstone case and the last of the Bugman's and chocolate. She came down to the door where Neil was waiting for her and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Before her lips could touch she saw a trio of men burst from an alley, yelling in terror. A pair of beastmen, stag headed and covered in dirt and mud lopped out after them. One of them spitted a terrified civilian on a crude spear. Dozens of other beastmen burst out of the alleys, howling and screaming. Emmaline squeaked in panic but Neil shoved her back into the tower and pulled the door shut. Arrows thudded into the door as Neil threw the heavy bar.

"Shit," he muttered and Emmaline had to agree. She ran up to the third story and looked out the window. Beastmen were pouring into the city, an ugly pall of dust and debris rose to the sky from the east. The background stutter of gunfire had risen to a fever pitch. They were cut off.
In Pax Astra 2 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
Sabatine hadn't been an infantry trooper. Her experience had been as a combat pilot, but she had spent enough time defending the bird while loading or unloading troops, or protecting herself after shoot downs, that she knew which end of the gun was which. In any case she suspected she was probably several cuts above the kind of thugs available in a backwater like this. She lifted the rifle and sighted down the barrel, easing off the safety with a click. She wasn't personally experienced with the Vesta but she had used similar slug throwers before, most particularly on Braxia where the thick growth of jungle drank plasma blasts too much to make a gladius really effective.

The gun had a simple three point sight, familiar to legionnaires since the western campaigns back on old Earth. She lay down on the catwalk and butted the weapon against her shoulder, cocking one leg out to provide herself a stable shooters stance. Three trucks had pulled up at the entry gate, disgorging perhaps a dozen toughs. They were back lit by the lights of their vehicles, just black forms against bright light. That suited Sabatine fine, making her think of a gunnery range rather than a battle field.

"Alright big shots, come out and get the beating that is coming to you!" one of them roared.

"We promise, once we've given you a few lessons in minding your manners you can go about your..."

Sabatine squeezed the trigger. Crack! Crack! Crack! The three round burst snapped out of the weapon. The speaker broke off with a scream and one of the head lights went out with a shattering storm of glass. The engine, still running, lugged, banged and then died with a cough as one of the rounds punched through something important. Sabatine resighted and squeezed of a second shot but the thugs were throwing themselves to the ground in all directions. Sabatine reached up and turned he shot selector to single. She fired at one of the silhouettes she could still see without any effect. She breathed in, breathed out, then fired again. The man spun to the ground clutching his arm and dragging himself behind the cover of a low stone wall. Gunfire ripped out from the group, punching holes in the walls of the building that were easily visible as gushes of bright head light illuminated air. It wasn't aimed in any military sense, though ricochets skittered around the interior like angry bees.
Emmaline opened an eye with some trepidation. Given the amount of potent dwarven ale she had consumed last night, she expected to find her head splitting and hands shaking. Fortunately it seemed that vigorous exercise had gone a way to muting the effects and though it felt like her head had been packed with cotton balls, she wasn't in any actual pain. She laid a cool hand on her forehead and started slightly to find it tangled with red hair. She had changed it the night before, she remembered. Her eyes skittered towards the case that contained the polished warpstone and found it sitting innocently in the corner where she had left it. Glancing down she found that the snake tattoo was still in place, though it seemed to have slightly changed it pose since it had first settled into her skin.

"Is anyone going to recognize you?" she asked, her tongue feeling tacky against the roof of her mouth. The question had been entirely rhetorical, she didn't want to go through the trouble of changing her hair just to give herself away with a tattoo, but to her shock the snake slithered.

"Hey! Hey!" she yelped. as the ink slithered up her arm. She couldn't feel it, not really, but her body told her she should feel something gliding over her skin. It rolled up over her shoulder and slid down onto her chest, its head coming to rest on the top of her left breast.

"Hey!" she objected again but the snake remained an inert tattoo. She flicked its head with a finger but succeeded only in stinging herself slightly. Neil stirred beside her and let out a mussy groan with which she could sympathize. She climbed out of bed, gathering a blanket around her and went to the window. It was a clear autumn day with a slight chill. In the distance she could see smoke hanging in the air and it took a moment for her mind to tune back into the occasional crash of cannon. The siege was evidently continuing. So far the attacks had been probes, but she suspected that it was going to grow more serious very soon. Afterall, sooner or later the Empire at large was going to wonder why barges weren't arriving from Nuln and the whole force of Reikland was likely to come down on the besiegers. Imperial armies didn't always respond quickly, but Emmaline knew that the strategic importance of Nuln meant that a threat to it was a knife to the belly of the whole nation.

Turning her mind to more pleasant prospects Emmaline tossed some bacon and eggs into a cast iron pan and whistled a spell. Even without fire the bacon began to sizzle on the suddenly hot metal. She poured some of the ground coffee into a filter and snapped her fingers. Streams of water rose from the drinking pitcher, boiling in the air before passing through the filter and sedately settling into the mugs below. She added milk and shredded a little chocolate on the edge of a knife to sweeten hers. The arcane exercise, more spell work than she would normally attempt in a week, made her headache a little worse, but she suspected it wasn't anything some food and coffee wouldn't banish. She flipped the bacon and eggs onto a couple of plates and set the plates on a wooden board that was serving as a tray, then deliberately positioned herself so that she was standing framed by the window, nude except for breakfast on a tray.

"Rise and shine," she called to Neil.
@XxFellsingxX

As you approach the restaurant you feel the gaze of something upon you. Turning you see one of the stone dragons. Its granite eyes seem to film and then a copy of it made of white light surges out and into you. The sensation is dizzying and warm, like walking into a steamy locker room and then it is over. For a moment, nothing seems different, then you very clearly see a crow flying backwards across the skyline. Time races backwards in a blur until you see an old woman taking a turtle shell from a string. She carves symbols onto it and then sets it on a table. Carefully she withdraws a hot iron from a brazier and touches the steel to the shell. It cracks under the heat and she bends down to observe it. Her eyes widen with shock but before she can do or say anything a blast of light and sound erupts as police come crashing through the kitchen doors, scattering people, utensils and fried rice everywhere. They are lead by an extremely handsome man in a leather jacket. There is a lot of shouting in chinese and one of the cooks lunges at the man only to be intercepted by the cops. The old woman is cuffed and lead away and the handsome man takes the two broken halves of the turtle shell.

If you choose to mark corruption you can add this to your sheet.

☑ Enter the Dragon
When rolling to keep your cool, you may mark corruption to send your consciousness a few seconds into the past or the future. Describe how this action benefits you and gain +1 on your next roll. You may make small changes in the past or future that are immediately useful to you in the present.
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