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3 mos ago
Current Luckily history suggests an infinite ability for people to be shit heads ;)
1 like
1 yr ago
Achmed the Snake
1 like
2 yrs ago
It's kind of insane to me that people ever met without dating apps. It is just so inefficient.
2 likes
2 yrs ago
One, polyamory is notoriously difficult to administer
4 likes
2 yrs ago
I'm guessing it immediately failed because everyone's computer broke/work got busy/grand parents died
9 likes

Bio

Early 30's. I know just enough about everything to be dangerous.

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"Well that is very sad," Jocasta admitted, "except for the hot biker chick part of course."

She wobbled, feeling the effects of multiple shots of unknown liquors over the past few minutes. She steadied herself with exaggerated dignity.

"Though this is no excuse for beating me at pool," she mused, leaning back against the table and closing one bright green eye to try and banish the slight twist everything was developing. For a moment she thought about mentioning that Dirk was technically her partner, but decided that this might not be a politic time to do so, beside she hadn't heard anything about him in months so it probably didn't matter.

"Well at least you don't have a bounty for kicking puppies and what not," Jocasta continued, "I hate that.

"Alshoow you is kinduf cute whicsh is a pluss," she admitted.
@Atalanta@nightmare medx

The nervous man's eyes flew wide at the mention of the auction house. A tick crawled across his face slow at first and speeding up as it passed his eyes. The smell of him was rank, long neglect overlain with the more recent stink of fear both glandular and urinary. Scared as he was, the ingrained reflexes of poverty made him reach for the second twenty, his hand freezing on the way towards it in an agony of indecision. His lip trembled violently and he seemed to strain to speak, the prominent Adam's apple working as though trying to swallow something unpleasant.

A flutter of feathers sounded from above and a large sleek crow swooped down and landed on the vagrants shoulder in a parody of a pirate with a parrot. It looked its beady black eyes with Blythe, then turned its eyes to Ardi in an appraising glance.

"Caaaawp," the crow cawed, struggling mightily to create the P at the end of the word.

"Cawwwp, Cawwwp." Cop. Cop The vagrant's lips moved in the shape of the crows cries, though no sound actually issued from his throat. The crow hopped down the vagrant's arm and clambered out onto his outstretched fingers. The homeless man moved not a muscle as the crow climbed over him, though his eyes were wide and terrified. The bird leaned out and pecked experimentally at the second ten dollar bill. It stamped a clawed foot and then looked up at the two women.

"Blaaaad," it cawed, "blaaad, blaaad." Blood. Blood, blood.

"Caaaaaap blaaaaad."
Urien, it turned out, had been busy. It was easy to dismiss the Rogue Trader as a mere barbarian and forget he had survived for years in the cut throat world of Imperial politics. Rather than using his men as a single unit, he had used them to take over one group of Fraternus militia at a time, then detached them with his own men to act as cadre. Even more ingenious, if somewhat less ethically, he had broken into every church and reliquary he could find and looted whatever relics he found within. Each group had then carried the relic at the head of their group like a banner, drawing dozens of pilgrims along in their wake as a mob of poorly armed but highly enthusiastic warriors. In this way he had swept through the city, gathering up no fewer than five of the missing Primate, some even of their own free will. He deposited them in the care of Primate Von Mandlebrot, a fact likely to ensure they voted, if not their consciences, then in a way Hadrian was likely to find acceptable.

We had returned to Von Mandlebrot’s palace. I stripped out of the Sororitas armor not so much to preserve my identity, but to avoid outraging a high churchman. Hadrian was openly wearing his Inquisitorial rosette now, a fact which had made Von Mandlebrot turn an even paler shade of white. I took a quick shower and changed from my sweat stained arming clothes into a quilted black and red checkered body glove, covered with a gown of sheer silk. I donned a gauzy veil weighed down with small religious icons to complete the look, though I didn’t have time to undo the severe Sororitas stye braids.

“We should call for a vote at once Salavere,” Von Mandlebrot declared to the Principal of Electors as he finished moving tokens across his lacquered counting board, the white pegs indicating a slim majority. Salevere gave an elaborate bow.

“They shall be cast at sundown your eminence,” the monk replied. There was a trifle more respect in his voice now that he was looking at a prospective Cardinal than there had been when Von Mandlebrot was just one of several contenders.

“Surely if you wait for news of Primate Hingaberg’s death that will make your victory greater?” Clara asked, perplexed.

“A great deal of… uhh targeted charity has already been arranged to ensure this result,” Osten Von Mandlebrot explained, “delaying will merely give my brothers of the cloth a chance to … reconsider the value of earthly things?”

I snickered and Hadrian made an unhappy face. I had spent more time with the aristocracy than he did, but he clearly understood that the election of a new Cardinal involved bribery and backroom dealing on a generational scale. Few of the bribes would be anything as crude as cash, it was more in terms of benefices, custody of certain relics, the promotion of one prelates' protege rather than anothers. There were doubtless clerics still howling into their pillows at what they had lost out when Rasini had been killed by the assassins blast. There was no point in allowing another candidate to emerge and muddy the waters, or for one to be manufactured for the sake of additional bribes. Hadrian was not naive about these things of course, but I think in his Mono-dominant heart he would have preferred that the Emperor's work proceed without earthly graft.

Further discussion of the political situation was halted as Lazarus threw open the ornate wooden doors of the office and strode in, scattering a handful of acolytes and servo skulls like so many pigeons.

“The shuttle reached the High Rhodes a half hour ago,” Lazarus said, “it docked with a Rogue Trader named the Even Chance.” We all stiffened, having expected our foe to go to ground somewhere on the planet.

“The Even chances is a Paralax class star trader built on the hull of the Sword model frigate. It is registered to Barabus Stoyman, officially credentialed Rogue Trader. She was built in the yards on Keffia in M39.532 before accidents linked to…” Hadrian made a chopping motion with his hand to cut off the former Skitarri, having recognized the tone which meant he was quoting from his internal databanks, a feat that he could and would continue for as long as there was relevant data. Relevant to Lazarus at any rate however tangential it might appear to the rest of us.

“He is running,” Hadrian declared, on his feet in an instant.

“Clara, get Urien and his men assembled for immediate recall to the Caledonia. Lazarus call the ship, have the tech adepts begin their blessing for departure. Get orders out to all local patrol ships, they are to fire on the Even Chance if she attempts to…”

All eyes cut to the windows as blossoms of fire began to light the night sky. They were faint, like the twinkling of particularly bright stars. Lazarus let out a string of binaric curses that I’m sure would have made me very uncomfortable had I been able to understand them.

“What is going on?!” Von Mandlebrot demanded, able to tell we were agitated but not understanding why.

“The Even Chance just opened fire on shipping in the void anchors,” Lazarus confirmed in a voice all the more terrible for the fact it lacked any emotion. Three massive fireballs were already beginning to form where the pilgrim barges, gutted by macrocannon and lance fire, began to fall burning into the upper atmosphere. As I watched one broke up in a silent explosion that threw burning debris over an area the size of a moderate hive city. Further blasts followed on its heels.

“The Emperor protect us,” someone breathed, and then a billion tons of burning metal rained from the sky.

My memory gets a little hazy after that.

Not hazy maybe, so much as fragmented. We got outside before the first debris came down. The initial stages of the Calamity, as it would come to be called, were silent as billions of pilgrims watched what appeared to be a particularly spectacular meteor shower. But as the wreckage rained down, flaming white with heat and trailing clouds of burnt air and sublimed metal, it tore tortured screams from the air. The first impact I remember as a piece of burning metal the size of a small titan smashing into the side of a fluted tower a dozen stories tall. The elegant structure seemed to hang for a second before making the decision to fall, showering blocks of masonry that alone must have killed thousands. There was fire everywhere as Hadrian and Clara shoved me along. Hadrian and Lazarus were screaming into the vox units, trying manfully to salvage any kind of order from the wreck. I watched a wheel of iron three stories tall, a drive nozzle I thought with irrelevant clarity, roll down a street reducing every structure it touched to an expanding cloud of dirt and gravel. There was smoke and fire everywhere and the greasy smells of hot metal and burning flesh were everywhere. At one point we reached a great square a few moments before a rain of fire fell upon the assembled pilgrims. Their white penitential robes blazed like so many embers from a kicked campfire, each one setting fire to others as they fled in mad panic.

Horror followed horror, until at last we were staggering up the ramp of our Aquila, miraculously undamaged in the holocaust around us. Urien and his men were there, firing into the crowd that surged in behind us, desperate for the safety they imagined the shuttle represented but more than enough to swamp the sturdy craft in their desperation. Two sharp cracks as Clara hurled her fragmentation grenades into the pack. Then we were lifting away and the ramp was closing. Cool reprocessed air flowed over me and I came back to myself as I looked out over the Cathedral world. It was burning from horizon to horizon. Hadrian thumped his fist into the bulkhead.

“How many?” he ground out between gritted teeth, “how many just to cover the escape of one heretic?”

I opened my mouth to answer but was interrupted by violent maneuvering as Urien’s pilot began making evasive maneuvers. Dozens of shuttles were lifting, as many descending from the wreckage of the orbital Rhodes, orphaned when their motherships went up. There were hundreds of pin pricks of light above us now, and I realized to my disgust that the carnage on the ground was only a secondary effect of the Even Chance’s callous butchery. Every ship that could get underway was lighting her drive, desperately trying to flee the tight packed orbital space before debris, panicking shipping or fire from the enemy added their ships to the funeral pyre. The Even Chance had deliberately provoked the panic so it could flee among the panicking minnows.

Fortune was with us in one regard, the fact that the Caledonia had arrived late into the election meant that it hung at one of the highest void anchors, untouched by the trouble and chaos below. After a tense half hour we rendezvoused with the ship, drives already lit and on an intercept course with our quarry. There was no way the scattered patrol ships could intercept the Even Chance before she hit the jump limit, but it was just possible, that the Caledonia might.
Updated!

There are two major pieces of info we need before we can move forward.

The info the homeless guy has, and exactly what was taken.
Eleanor watched the change come over Teajay. Her guts tightened and she felt her adrenaline spike. Anything that upset the woman was more than cause for concern. Something was going on here beyond one unexplained body.

“Adri, Blythe, see if you can run down our witness,” she told the pair. Adri had the skills and Blythe was muscle in the worst case. A distant part of her shuddered at what Blythe’s muscle actually entailed.

“Keep me updated,” she called back over her shoulder as she followed Teajay and Alcander as they headed up the fire escapes to the roof, irritated that her jacket and skirt made climbing so awkward. Even before she reached the top she felt the tingle or arcane energy through her palms. Teajay reached the top and turned to offer her hand to help Eleanor the last few steps, she took it grateful, feeling the unnatural aura of the other woman through her sensitive flesh.

“There was a spell,” she began but Alcander was already gesturing to the obvious source. A perfect pentagon was cut into the flat top roof of the building, descending through concrete and insulation with the precision of a microtome. Sigils were marked around the opening with metallic paint. Empty krylon cans lay scattered where they had been tossed. A brass plate had been screwed into one point of the design. A pair of jumper leads connected the plate to a raspberry pi wired to a cell phone. Black fluid, like a slug trail, slicked the rooftop from the hole to the edge of the roof.

“Looks like we found the source at least,” Eleanor noted redundantly. She walked over to the edge of the hole, carefully avoiding stepping on any of the scribings, and looked down into it. The room below looked like a storage attic. Even from here she could see it was filled with books and papers, some lose, some in crates. Other items, antiques, musical instruments and other less identifiable things were scattered around, tossed chaotically as though by frantic hands. The rain had done extensive water damage, swelling and ruining hundreds of books. Already a faint smell of mold wafted up to tickle her sinuses. A rope ladder had been bolted to the roof with a masonry drill, allowing people to climb down into the hole.

“This must be storage for the auction house,” Eleanor said, pulling the street map from her memory.

“It looks like it might have been a heist,” Eleanor decided, crouching down to examine the raspberry pie. She flicked a finger and both alligator clips snapped free. She picked it up and tapped at the control.

“Looks like a … like the opposite of a summoning,” she explained. “He.. they.. sent the roof piece… somewhere else.” It was a sophisticated spell, Eleanor could have managed it without the electronics but she wouldn’t have attempted it. The list of practitioners who could work it even with the programming wasn’t huge. She would need to take a look at the code and see if she could narrow it down.











One benefit of Lionel’s relatively low level of ambient sunlight was that even at ‘dawn’ it didn’t get very bright. The temperature did warm significantly though, and so the beginning of a new day was marked with heat and by a sudden explosion of activity in the jungle that seemed completely arbitrary to light dependent humans. The other benefit was that you didn’t get a brilliant light shining in your bleary hung over eyes.

“I’m not sure what in the name of all the Gods I did to deserve one of you, much less two!” Maynard raged as he stalked back and forth in front of Bad and Inez. The were in front of one of the warehouses from which a long train of native pack animals were emerging. Like the natives they were hexapods, with powerful jointed knees reminiscent of caterpillars. They clicked and croaked continually as the muscled panniers of woven wire filled with glittering manganese rich ore. Native guards with company lanyards chivvied them along with the points of spears. A few, very few, had breech loading trade rifles and were bestrung with bandoliers of brass cartridges that jingled as they walked. The League had long ago learned not to sell advanced weapons to natives on worlds there they wanted to operate long term, but they had also learned that you couldn’t cut them out entirely without black markets springing up to fill the void.

Inez endured Alrik Maynard’s fury stolidly. He was a handsome man if you liked them a little on the wiry side with radish blonde hair. He wore a coat of brilliant green shimmersilk atop collets of fine linen tucked into polished black boots. The golden seal of a Captain and a Factor of the League hung around his neck, marked with the insignia of the Solar Winds Trading Company. Inez’s head throbbed, the hang over had been largely purged by a judicious dose of booze-be-gone, but her head still pounded from where a boot had caught her during the fracas last night.

“You I expect this from,” Maynard snapped, thrusting a finger into Inez chest, “But you!” He whirled on Bad and stomped over to him, the rings on his fingers glinting as they caught the stray light of a light post on the perimeter.

“The ink not even dry on your contract and already brawling in taverns like a Gods-be-damned common drunk!”

“Sir,” Inez began.

“Quiet!” the captain snapped, “I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you, the only thing I want is this cargo delivered to Loxahar valley without incident. Unless you want me to put the damages the bar owner is claiming on your account I suggest that you ensure this goes off FLAWLESSLY. Am I understood!?”
Call me Bad. The Black Lady save me Inez thought. Next thing we will be Viper or Iceman or some other damn fool thing. Well, given that his parents were probably to blame, she resolved to try and cut him some slack. Inez sipped her beer and found it no better for her attempt to savor it. She wondered if the Sunbeala served food and if that food was anything other than the kind of warmed over rations which she might get on the Arxregnum. She gave it up as a bad bet as her eyes scanned the contract. So much for kicking back while the maintaince crew handled the refit she thought. Contracting her out was a better use of her time, at least from the credit pinching perspective of her League masters.

One thousand three hundred and twenty four Sols and a wake up she told herself.

Endeavoring to look on the bright side she considered the job at hand. She hadn’t known that there was any manufacturing on Lionel but she could see the logic of the enterprise. Processing trace elements into electronic precursors would allow the fabrication of electronics for the repair yard and, eventually, for export to the surrounding fringe worlds. Custom electronics were often more cost effective to manufacture close to where they would be needed, rather than sending all the way back to Sol. The enterprise would also encourage asteroid prospectors whose unfailingly run down ore barges would provide steady business for the expanding repair yard. Native laborers would be needed to work the forges, to construct rail or road connections to the port. This would require modernizing agriculture with tools to make up for the resulting shortfall of peasants. Wages would be paid, wages that could be spent on trade goods and off planet luxuries, and so on and so on. Thus the business of the League grew, interconnected rings of industry and trade, expanding forever towards the ends of the universe. Inez wondered if Aldrik was invested in the scheme personally or if it was a Solar Winds Trading venture. The two things need not be separate of course; all captains were given a certain amount of capital to invest in on the spot ventures and spur of the moment opportunities but she would have wagered that Maynard was up to his eyeballs in the scheme.

“Well, I’ve never worked with a Privateer before, whatever that is I suppose…” before she could suppose any further the ambient buzz of conversation died away and she craned her neck to look towards the door. A trio of natives were entering the bar. They were bipedal and man sized With thick torsos and three sets of powerful limbs, the middle set seemed to function as arms, with three opposable thumbs set against a serrated gripping surface. The upper limbs seemed closer to claws, heavy and muscular. Their entire bodies were covered with glossy carapace, a red so dark that it seemed black in anything but full sun. They had large eyes that seemed to glimmer with the suggestion of internal illumination, though Inez remembered that this was an artifact of the receptors that allowed the natives to see further into the UV than humans. All three wore nothing save leg wraps of some kind of pale local leather and access lanyards which indicated they did menial work in the starport. The largest of the three seemed agitated, and the lower half of his face seemed covered with a fine coating of something golden and powdery. The creature let out a roar, battle cry or curse Inez wasn’t sure, and charged at the two humans, emitting a continual string of clacking ululations. Inez and Bad sprang to their feet, Inez going for a pistol that was in her arms locker back on the ship. She snatched up the lightweight stool instead and swung it in an arc that intersected with the creature’s right claw arm. It caught the cheap extruded plastic and tore it free, pivoting and driving a powerful kick punch combination into Inez, sending her sprawling across a table at which two xenos were playing cards. Credits and chips flew in all directions as the bar descended into chaos. All was screaming and confusion, one of the card players hauled Inez to her feet and drove a fist at her. She twisted aside and snapped an elbow into his face, sending the alien stumbling back. The two natives who had accompanied the original attacker began to ululate the same weird war cry as the first and then charged into the fray. Inez kicked the table into the way of the nearest native sending him down in a tangle of limbs and clacking pincers, the latter quickly reducing the table to splinters. The porcine bar tender ducked down and reappeared with a riot gun, he wracked the slide and fired with a chemical crunch. Where he had been aiming Inez never knew, probably for one of the natives, but the swirling melee threw the creature who had arm wrestled Bad into his line of fire. The bean bag round drove the air from his lungs with a whumph and a spray of vomit. A bottle of liquor flew from the downed gamblers' companions to smash across the bartenders face. The piggish xeno screamed and dropped the gun which bounced of the bar and went off, spraying the back wall with the remains of a dozen shattered liquor bottles. The whole building rang with curses, cheers, and grunts of pain and the air was heavy with spilled booze and hormones.

There were no police in a place like this, but there were bound to be a few star port security types who would show up if this went on long enough. Inez dived across the melee, screaming in pain as medical appliqués tore free and snatched up the fallen riot gun. She turned to survey the melee. One of the natives was drawing back a claw to cold cock Bad. Two bean bags smacked into the alien, the first spinning him ninety degrees just in time for the second to smash into his face, pitching him over into the crowd. The melee closed in around Bad as Inez racked the slide only to feel a limp empty chamber. Screaming in frustration she reversed the weapon and charged into the fray wielding it like a club.

One thousand three hundred and twenty four Sols and a wake up. Some fucking days.

@POOHEAD189
“The paycheck raises a good point,” Cygi declared turning to face Jocasta with large cartoon dollar signs in her eyes, “he is worth a lot of money.” Jocasta rolled her eyes at the AI’s antics.

“It is just not proper to turn someone in after you have shared pizza with them,” Jocasta rejoined. It was just possible that she could sell Neil to another bounty hunter at a discount, and pocket the money to fix the ship, but brokering such a deal would be very risky. Besides she could admit that he was growing on her. Cygi placed her hands on her holographic hips.

“What about that job on Pneumonax, or the one on Kappa Kappa 12, or the Sindic job, or the …” Jocasta waved Cygi to quiet while Neil’s eyebrows climbed higher.

“That is an awful lot of pizza related bounties,” Neil pointed out in a neutral tone.

“Well the Sindic thing doesn’t count, I was only using the pizza as an improvised smoke grenade,” Jocasta replied somewhat defensively.

“Changing the topic, a lot of people have trouble with armies, not every deserter get slapped with a multi-million credit bounty,” Jocasta pressed. She picked up another shot of liquor and tossed it back, this one was piney to the point of making her eyes water.

“So what gives?” she demanded.
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