Location: Nowhere, USA > Ozzie's Apartment > The Next Day || Interactions: @BenG85 THUD THUD THUD The Agent had found him. As he stood in the middle of his living room, freshly bathed with a towel wrapped around his waist, he couldn't help but be enveloped by a sense of panic. He started looking around for a weapon to grab before he dared make his way to the door.
Fire-poker, he thought to himself.
Everyone in the movies always go for the fire-poker! But he remembered he did not have a fire-poker, for he did not have a fireplace. What would the next best thing be, he wondered. A golf club! Or even a baseball bat. But Ozzie was not a jock and weapons such as those were out of his grasp.
THUD THUD THUD Frantically he looked around his place as the Agent continued to demand entry. Empty snack bags, discarded dirty clothes, an inflated inner tube that was now serving as a guest chair... Then he saw it. Excalibur. In a manner befitting King Arthur himself, Ozzie gripped Excalibur and held it up, ready to strike should the need arise as he slowly made his way to the door.
His steps were gradual and wide, testing the limits of his makeshift skirt as he attempted to remain in a fighting stance at all times. Reluctantly, he pulled the chain lock out and let it dangle freely before unlocking the bolt and finally reaching for the door's knob and turning it.
As the door opened, the agent found himself greeted with the sight of Ozzie Shaw holding what appeared to be a 5 foot long glass penis slung over his shoulder like a a majestic sword with a little bowl sticking out of the area where the shaft met the balls. It was truly Ozzie's most prized bong and it's intimidating stature had earned its name.
Gripping Excalibur tight, the stoner finally forced out a greeting.
"
...uh... Yo," he said. At that moment, the Ozzie's towel decided to stop fighting against his widespread knees and surrendered, immediately unraveling and falling to the floor. "
Is this about me being a criminal mastermind?"