Avatar of Rodiak

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Recent Statuses

9 days ago
Current my depression is homophobic.
7 mos ago
for once i hoped that the crazies were right about the world was ending today. i don't want to pay rent tomorrow.
4 likes
3 yrs ago
anything that inconveniences me is now homophobic
6 likes
6 yrs ago
When you want to join RPs but you know you don't have the time and energy to do it so you just make characters for that RP and imagine being in that world just for a little while
11 likes
6 yrs ago
I suck dick in the name of God then.
11 likes

Bio

rodiak.

2 9 . h e / h i m . p s t

Most Recent Posts

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L A D Y Z A R A I L E S D E M A N
L A D Y Z A R A I L E S D E M A N

-- E N T R A N C E H A L L --

I N T E R A C T I O N S :
everyone in the entrance hall

M E N T I O N S :



A noise escaped Zarai's lips, it was faint and low, and only those directly near her heard it. An attempt at a laugh cut short by pain. She didn't expect anything less from the Caesonian Queen seeing the poor sap being dragged into the hall already deemed guilty by the Queen. Despite the pleas from Callum or anyone else, the man had already suffered, and if somehow spared, he would continue to do so.

Zarai began to push herself to her feet when her mother's firm hand held her down by the shoulders. She winced, looking up at her to protest but was cut off short.

"My daughter was beaten, her rib fractured, and her faceβ€”" Francesca lifted a hand from her mother's shoulder and covered her mouth as if trying to swallow down a sob. "Her face cut and bruised like some drunkard. I know my Zarai, and she is not one to seek out a fight by herself. We must find those who lured our children into this event and punish them accordingly." Her mother looked down at her briefly, and Zarai stared up at her.

This is ridiculous.

"Your Majesties, my daughter will cooperate with the investigation." Zarai tried to pull away from the hand on her shoulder, but the grip only grew tighter, and she could feel nails digging into her skin. Her mind kept screaming and kicking, compelling her to stand up and speak up against the Queen for punishing an innocent man. "And I will ensure there is no other incident like this regarding my daughter. She will be punished and her behavior corrected."

The hand on Zarai's shoulder pushed her shoulder forward; the girl followed suit and bowed her head, ignoring the pain. "Apologize." The tone in her mother's voice made her wince again. It was low, cold, and void of any emotion. It was amazing how fast and easily the woman could change tones in a matter of seconds. When Zarai stayed quiet, Francesca smiled at the queen and leaned in to Zarai's ear. "Si no te disculpas en los prΓ³ximos cinco segundos, me asegurarΓ© de que no dejes tu habitaciΓ³n durante el prΓ³ximo mes, y tus posibilidades de encontrar un marido adecuado disminuirΓ‘n."

Zarai glared down at the floor, glad that her face was shielded from the eyes of the queen or anyone else looking at her. "I apologize, Your Majesty King Edin and Your Majesty Queen Alibeth." She looked back at the stable boy. "But I cannot stand by and watch a man sentenced to death for a crime he is not guilty of. I will give my statement on the matter and help in any way possible, but please reconsider the sentence for this innocent man." On the corner of her eyes she could see her mother silently fuming.

I'm scared that everyone is out to get me.
"These days before you speak to me you pause."
"I always see you looking out your window."
"After all, you lost your band, you left your mom."
Now every single crack, every penny that I pass,
Says I should either leave or pick it up
But with every single buck I've made
I'm saddled with bad luck that came


Ta-ra-rΓ‘, ta-ra-rΓ‘, ta-tΓ‘
Ta-ra-ra-ta-tΓ‘-ra (me lo quito)
Ta-ra-rΓ‘, ta-ra-rΓ‘, ta-tΓ‘
Ta-ra-ra-ta-ta-tΓ‘-ra (que me manden me lo quito)
i've been craving pho for a week
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S H E H Z A D I N A H I R K A D I R
S H E H Z A D I N A H I R K A D I R

-- E N T R A N C E H A L L --

I N T E R A C T I O N S :

M E N T I O N S :


That morning, after bathing and tending to her locs, Nahir sat in front of the mirror trying to recall the events of last night. Everything in her mind was hazy, and no matter how much she tried, she could not remember anything concrete. There were snippets, tiny remnants of memories that she couldn't hold on to for more than a second. For now, the only memory she had managed to retain had been one of colorful images, none like anything she had seen before; they almost felt unreal. There was a cloud over her mind, leaving Nahir helpless and desperate to fill in the holes in her memory.

Then, there were the bruises on her hips, her neck, and thighs. She had not had those the day before, and she was sure she'd done nothing to get them before the after-party. Nahir pulled back the fabric of her neck to look at one of the bruises, her fingers gently gracing the dark purple. Is this a loβ€”

There was a knock on the door, and Nahir pulled the hem back up her neck before turning to look at the door. "Come in."

"Shehzadi Nahir, your presence has been requested," Lady Bhatt said after bowing to Nahir. "It seems that there are quite a lot of other young royals and nobles being called as well."

Nahir nodded, her jaw fighting hearing the message from Lady Bhatt. She didn't remember coming back or even how she came back to the guest house. Had their group caused any trouble last night? She knew that none of them, especially Munir and Farim, were the best when drunk. Or had she? Perhaps it had nothing to do with last night's events. "And who exactly is requesting this?"

"The Sultan, Your Highness."

Nahir nodded, her jaw tightening and dismissing the lady with a wave of her hand. She stood there for a few more minutes trying to dig deep in her mind for anything from last night, but the cloud in her mind had settled comfortably. The more she tried to pry at the missing gaps in her memory, the more her head began to spin until there was a sharp pain. She winced, taking her fingers to massage her temples gently. It was hopeless; Nahir cursed at herself for drinking too much.

She was wasting time, so memory hunting would have to wait after the Entrance Hall. Before leaving, Nahir took her emerald and golden shawl from the bed and made her way out of her room. The trip back to the castle was short, at least; that is what it felt like. Once in the hall, she spotted the familiar faces of everyone who had attended the after-party, and that was when Nahir realized that this was about last night. And by the look on the Queen's face, it was serious.
λ‚˜μ˜ λ¨Έλ¦¬λŠ” 녹색 My Hair Is Green
λ‚˜μ˜ λ¨Έλ¦¬λŠ” 녹색 My Hair Is Green

- 015B x 유라(youra)

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L A D Y Z A R A I L E S D E M A N
L A D Y Z A R A I L E S D E M A N

-- E N T R A N C E H A L L --

I N T E R A C T I O N S :

M E N T I O N S :



Francesca had not slept since she realized Zarai had slipped away at night. She'd search the guest house, the royal palace, and streets before one of the guards informed her of the situation. She'd paced the halls, gnawing on her nails nervously as her mind raced through the many possibilities of what could be or may be happening to her daughter. Francesca didn't say a word nor accept any of the coffee the servants offered her, afraid she would crack if she were to mutter even a word. It was well into the night when the missing children were brought in.

The Duchess had rushed to the guard who had carried her daughter's battered body into the royal infirmary. Upon seeing the state of Zarai, Francesca stared while the man gently placed her on the bed. She watched as nurses rushed around the room to tend to everyone needing immediate attention, Zarai being one of them. Upon examination, one of the doctors confirmed his suspicion of a fractured rib and a mild concussion being the worst that Zarai had sustained. Her lip had been cut, her neck and knuckles bruised, and she had a few other minor cuts over her body that Francesca had not been able to see. Blood, vile, and dirt were cleaned off Zarai, and when all the wounds were tended to, she was changed into a sleeping gown. Ice was also brought in from the ice boxes, pressed against the swelling flesh, and salves were rubbed.

"Que desperdicio." Francesca looked down at the discolored face of her daughter, next to her the nurse frowned but said nothing. "You can leave now; I'll hold the cold press." The nurse glanced at her uncertainly but nodded, afraid she would upset the Duchess and left.

She stayed there, sitting next to Zarai's sleeping body staring at every bruise and cut on her face. Francesca's hands shook as the pressure in her chest grew stronger until it spread to her back and stomach. Her mind already running through various resources at her hand to find out who had done this to Zarai. The first step was finding out who had orchestrated this so-called after-party and who had attended.

β€”


She had been trying to roll on her side but the sharp stinging pain that rippled from her sides over her body echoed through every nerve. Zarai gasped, hands flying to her side to try to do anything to help the pain but the movement only worsened it. Once it had subsided from her sides, she noticed the numbness of her face. She reached up, touching her face lightly only to recoil with a hiss at the pain. What had happened last time? What had she done to wind up like this? And who had been the one to do this, to her face?!

Next to her a figure moved and sat up, Zarai quickly closed her eyes again and laid still.

"Don't act."

Zarai sighed and opened an eye to look at her mother staring down at her. A shiver ran down her spine seeing the lack of emotion on her mother's face. She'd grown so accustomed to seeing anger and disappointment in her features that Zarai was almost disappointed herself when she saw nothing.

"Get up, we have to go to the hall."

Zarai didn't move, which only seemed to annoy her mother. She opened her mouth to talk but she could only make incomprehensible sounds, making her finally sit up. "You'reβ€”" Clearing her throat felt like taking a shot of sand, "You're not... not going to ask me what happened?" Of course, she didn't remember much. Nothing of importance, as a matter of fact, anything she could remember was covered by a layer of fog. There was a crowd, a ring, fists, and insults. It all meant nothing to Zarai at the moment, just fragments of memories that did not feel her own.

Commotion erupted a few beds over, and Zarai caught the glimpse of King Edin bolting out the door, eyes lining up directly with a mirror in front of her bed. Before she could really look at the damage she had sustained her mother stepped in front, staring down at her with the same blank stare.

"Get up." Francesca said again, this time her tone firm but Zarai only stared back. Her mother sighed and raised her hand towards her, making Zarai brace herself and close her eyes. Zarai opened her eyes when she felt the warmth of her mother's hand on her cheek. "We should hurry, almost everyone is awake and in the Entrance Hall."

What was going on? Why is she acting like this? Questions kept running through her mind, one after the other trying to ascertain why her mother was acting so... normal? Zarai did as she was told and got up, clutching her side and swallowing down a wince. The questions only grew in confusion when her mother draped a shawl over her shoulders and offered her hand for support while she sat on the offered wheelchair. Zarai had to bite the inside of her cheek to make sure she was not dreaming. She was not.

"Why is everyone meeting at the Entrance Hall?" Zarai asked once they exited the infirmary. She pressed a cold rag to her face, closing her eyes at the coolness against her warm face.

"Queen Alibeth and King Edin requested it." Francesca replied and continued to push the wheelchair down the hall.

"Oh." She replied, lowering the rag to her palm and trying to steal a glance of her battered face from the windows to the left. "Is everyone going to be there?" Her mother didn't respond, so Zarai tried to ignore the growing headache.

They joined the rest of the nobles in the Entrance Hall a short walk after. Her mother pushed the chair towards the crowd of young nobles that had attended the after-party. Zarai looked at Anastasia and Callum first, wondering if their mother had already given them a lecture before coming here. Then it was Leo, who was not wearing any shoes. If it wasn't painful to laugh, she would have already, so she settled with an amused look shot in his direction.
T A B L E F O R T W O
T A B L E F O R T W O

- EfΓ©

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L A D Y Z A R A I L E S D E M A N
L A D Y Z A R A I L E S D E M A N

-- M A R E K ' S A F T E R P A R T Y --

I N T E R A C T I O N S :

M E N T I O N S :



Zarai began to sneak out of her room at night when she was twelve. She'd stay within the estate borders and often wonder about her home's large empty halls. Her bare feet silent against the wooden floors like a ghost roaming the halls. She enjoyed the quiet and stillness of the halls during the night. There was something peaceful about it, being the only one awake at this hour. Like it was just her existing. Alone. It wouldn't take long for her to find her feet carrying her out to the pond in the gardens. Despite Puerto Vira's warmer weather, the air remained cold and harsh during the night much like the rest of Varian.
"Should we wake her? She's burning."
Tonight was colder than usual. The fireplace in her room had been fed enough wood to keep her room warm and toasty throughout the night and her maid had aired out a few furs for her that morning. She'd seen frost forming on the edges of her room's window before she snuck out wearing only her nightgown. She didn't understand why she had chosen tonight to sneak out, she could have very well stayed in bed sleeping under a bear's fur instead of being greeted by the biting wind when she stepped outside.
"Duh, you idiot! But you do it, she's all covered inβ€” of fuck she stinks."

She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, fingers digging into the thin fabric of her nightgown as she approached the pond. With only the light from the full moon illuminating her surroundings, Zarai stared down at her reflection. Blue eyes, blonde hair, narrow nose, and full lips. The spitting image of her mother. People would always compliment her resemblance to her mother, telling the twelve-year-old that she'd grow up one day and be just like her.
"Oh gods, it's in her hair too."
Zarai had been happy to hear those words. Her mother was the most beautiful and kindest person she'd ever met and if Zarai would one day grow up to be like her it would be like a dream come true. And yet, why did her mother always look at her with a glint in her eyes and empty smiles? She had convinced herself that it was her imagination, and would feel guilty after imagining such things about her mother. The glares, the comments, and the harsh criticism all of it was in her head. Her mother loved her, Zarai was sure, in her own unique way.
"Is... is she crying?"

Her cheeks felt wet and cold, and her vision blurred with the tears now free-falling to the dirt underneath her. She didn't try to stop them. She let her arms fall to her sides and her shoulders relaxed before letting out a sob. It felt freeing to let go and finally let herself cry without fear of upsetting her father. She didn't have to be perfect right now, she could just cry and let it out. Let everything be swallowed up by the cold winds and the dark of night.
"Yeah, maybe a dream? What ever it is we should wake her up. Party won't last all night."

A branch snapped behind her. Zarai wiped back afraid to have finally been discovered but only turned to see one of the cats running past the bushes. She returned her attention to the still water before her only to see her reflection extending a hand to her. Zarai didn't jump back nor did she make a sound, she only stared at the hand.
"Okay, uh... Luz right? She said that was her name. Luz? Wake up!"
Her reflection called but its mouth didn't move. The voice was muffled like they were speaking from another room but it was clear enough to recognize what it was saying. Wake up? Zarai's brows furrowed, she was awake.
"Luz? Can you hear us? Wake up!"

She looked around trying to find the source but it seemed like it was coming from all around her. It was clearer now and louder than before. She opened her mouth to ask who it was that was messing with her. Demand that they stop their little prank and go away but no noise came from her lips.
"Hey, lady, can you hear us? Hellooooo?"
The reflection. Zarai looked at it again but now it was back to normal mimicking her movements again like it should but the voice didn't go away. She knelt by the pond, her hand hovering over the still waters.
"Hold on, I got an idea."

Her reflection moved with no warning, its hand wrapping around her wrist before pulling her down into the freezing water. Zarai gasped trying to pull back but a force continued to pull her further down into the depths of the pond. She cried and screamed but the only sound she could hear now was herself being drowned.

Zarai gasped loudly when cold water hit her face. She opened her eyes to be greeted by two blurry figures standing over her surrounded by colorful lights. It was a dream... She groaned, cursing under her breath at the lights as if they had offended her, and closed her eyes again. She wanted to go back to the pond. To the cold water and the muffled world that had surrounded her. It was numb at least. Here, everything hurt. It hurt to breathe or move, it hurt to hear and it hurt to exist.

Above her, one of the figures sighed loud enough for Zarai to hear.

"See? She's not dead, and it looks like she is not a half-wit. I think. Happy?"

"Not really. She's in a bad shape."

"No shit. She fought a guy twice her size and then passed out in her ownβ€” don't even want to think about it again. It was nasty."

"Shut up... Please." Her voice was low, but she could sense that the two people heard her well enough. There was a "tch" from one and the other didn't say anything but soon enough she was left alone. When she realized that, Zarai opened her eyes once more to see herself laying on a few chairs pushed together. One of her hands rested on her stomach while the other hung on her side, knuckles gracing the dirty floor below her.

She tried to remember why and how her poor decision-making wound her up here beat up like some , and smelling like one too. Fists, insults, choking, they all came in flashes only lasting milliseconds as the memories of the ring rushed back into her head. She winced in pain at both the memories and the sharp pain that shot up when she moved. "Fuck." Her fingers moved up to her face, fingers lightly touching the now swelling split lip then up to her right eye where she could tell her vision was going blurry. Her face would be swollen for the next two or three weeks. Questions would be asked by some and her motherβ€”her mother was going to kill her. Zarai would rather stay here for the rest of her life than go back to the guest house and face her. The mere thought of it sent chills throughout her body.

"Agh!" She protested when something sharp twisted in her stomach. It only lasted seconds but she was left gasping quietly for air while she tried to relax her body but it hurt to even do that. She turned her face to the side when she heard some poor bastard crying, she recognized him from the trip here. One of the Sultan's kids, and next to him was Anastasia. Something about seeing them in a similar state made her feel like she wasn't alone in her suffering. But it was too painful to look again and the chills were starting to make her body tremble. Her best option now was to lie and suffer quietly, bearing herself for the sharp pains and twists in her body that wouldn't allow her to back to sleep.
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