Torture.
Just the few hours of sleep Zell got felt like days. Weeks. Baphomet was entrenched deep now. Zell had forgotten what a good dream was like, or even a dreamless sleep. Just like every night since he'd first said those fateful words... "Take Vor, Baphomet" ...Zell was in the unending void of impenetrable blackness. This time he was on his knees with the pain Baphomet had filled him with.
It's not real. It's not real.
This is what he repeatedly reminded himself of to try and help handle the pressure. It had worked that one time when Baphomet tried this tactic. But that last time, the illusion was of physical pain. Zell was better suited to dealing with that. Hard training on the football pitch. Gym. A fight or two, in his past. A fight or six since arriving in Mytheria. Zell could handle physical pain. But this was different.
This time, his heart and mind were filled to the brim with overwhelming sadness. An incredible amount. Zell didn't know it was possible to feel this level of sorrow. He didn't have the strength to stand. He wanted to cry. His face was contorted with unbearable emotional damage. The sadness came first. Then came the thoughts of his family. How his mother might never get over his passing. How his father might be glad that he was gone. How his sister might not give a shit. After that came everyone else he ever knew. How his relationships were all shallow and transactional. How his friend he grew up with might be better off without him because he'd now get on the straight n narrow - stop being convinced by Zell to do Zell's selfish bidding. Or maybe he would get himself killed trying to step into Zell's shoes at Uni. Then came Mytheria stuff.
"You'll never evolve," Baphomet told him.
"I... I can be better," Zell said weakly.
"We are not enough."
"We are not the same."
"You don't have that kind of heart. That kind of nature. Face it - a sabrecat never cannot change it's stripes. And your fellow party members know it. They just tolerate you. They know you're not like them. They know you're no good." He could no longer reply. All he could do was feel like he was being torn apart by sheer sadness. "She knows it. You'll never be good enough for her." Zell could not deny this even if he had the strength. "Do you think they will ever see or appreciate that you came back? That you had the chance to leave but didn't? They'll probably think that you just didn't want to risk going it alone. Or something else that serves yourself. Because that's what you do. That's all you've ever done. That's what you're built for. A self-serving machine - good at it too."
"Stop. Please."
Zell awoke to the sound of his bedroom door being knocked loudly. His heart was beating hard. His temples were soaked with tears that had forced their way through closed eyes and streamed down the side of his face as he lay unconcious on his back. He took the deepest breath, relieved that it was all over. But why the hell was someone banging down his door like police!?
He sat up and wiped his eyes and then his face, then shook his head of cobwebs, swung his legs off the bed and quickly put on his trousers. The moment he turned the door knob, Barracker came barging in and just unloaded a stream of abuse at him. Zell was thrown off, but quickly caught onto the fact that the paladin had figured him out. Figured everything out. Fear crept up from the back of his mind. The thought of an upset, vampire paladin was pretty damn scary. But there was also another emotion. Anger. A flicker of disquiet at the verbal attacks, the disrespect, the barging into his room...
It was this negative emotion - anger - that Baphomet took and multiplied dozens of times over.
Who the fuck does this guy think he is?
“...Sound familiar?…” Barracker shoved the book he was holding into Zell’s chest roughly. “...Baphomet!”.
That was it - all Zell could take. His jaw clenched with anger and, without thinking, he fired a straight right-hand. His punch clocked Barracker square on the nose, taking the vampire by surprise. It must have, for a surprise attack was probably the only way Zell could beat vampire-speed. As Barracker reeled back, Zell realised that he was in trouble. He didn't mean to lash out like that - to hit his own friend. Oh crap, he thought. But also along with that thought was rage and a bit of fear that if he didn't press his advantage, Barracker was going to kick the shit out of him. And so he charged the vampire, slamming his shoulder into chest and sending his friend flying into the door that slammed shut with the momentum.
Zell pressed his attack and threw hard hooks... "The fuck. Are you. Talking to!?" ...a combination of Ascension and Baphomet's power giving him the strength to hurt Barracker with every hit.