The year is 1942. The date is December 16th. When we last left off, our brave and dashing hero, David Kasimir, was searching for the lost Heirloom Seal of the Realm, a jade stone passed down to the Emperors and Empresses of China, before it was lost in the 10th century. Upon recovering the seal, hidden in a cave deep within Mount Jiuhua, our hero was left hanging by his fellow treasure hunters... Quite literally. With the wicked Germans incoming, and his grip slipping, how will our hero escape this latest jam he's found himself in?
Have you ever found yourself dangling from a cliff, the strength of merely your fingers protecting you from a painful death thousands of feet below you? I'm doing that right now. And I'll be the first to tell you that it's even worse than it sounds. The Heirloom Seal is in my left hand, dangerously close to being lost once more, while I try desperately to pull myself back up with my right. Damn the others to Hell! All of them running at the first sign of danger, leaving me to die!
Well if there's one thing I know, it's that I laugh in the face of death almost daily; it's nearly a second job. Pocketing the Seal, I throw my left hand up to the cliff and begin to pull myself up... Only to stop short at the sound of footsteps not too far ahead of me. Voices speak, distinctly German. I can't make out what they're saying, but I know exactly who they are: the scum of the Earth, led by the dastardly Adolf Hitler himself - Nazis!
I lower myself further to hide my presence from the German soldiers. Between the strong gusts of wind that come from being this high up and my rusty German, I can barely understand what they're saying, but what I do grasp is proof enough that they're after me; one of them said that I must be around here, judging by what the others told them. Poor bastards. They must be dead now. Comeuppance enough for their abandoning me.
I begin to climb along the cliff to try and get away from the Germans. I successfully manage to shimmy along until a chunk of the cliff flies out as I grab it and takes the plunge to the depths below, making me curse as I nearly go along with it. The Germans hear me, and soon I find myself facing the barrel of an MP40 submachine gun. I nearly reach into my shoulder holster to grab my M1911, but I know it would be futile and only lead to an untimely death. Instead, I give the Nazis peering over the edge a nervous grin.
"Uh... Hallöchen!"They drag me up and throw me to the ground. When I try to crawl up in a sitting position, one of them slams his boot into my face, sending me right back.
"Woah, guys, we can talk about this!" Another one, seemingly their commanding officer, kneels down beside me. He gives a dark, foreboding chuckle, before speaking in heavily accented English.
"No, American, we cannot." He pulls a combat knife from his boot.
"Now tell me. Where is the Heirloom Seal?" I stay silent. He clicks his tongue in disappointment, shaking his head with a tsk.
"Not going to talk? Strong will you have. It appears I must take your extremities. Maybe then you will speak."My eyes shoot open in terror, and I raise my hands.
"Woah-ho-ho, okay, fine! It's in my pocket, right here!""Very good. I will be sure to retrieve it after I cut off your scrotum." He takes the knife to my crotch. Acting quickly, I swing around and kick him in the head, leaping to my feet and tackling one of the Nazis to the ground, mere inches away from the cliff's edge. We struggle for a moment, before he rolls on top of me... And great timing too, as I hear the distinct booms of machine gunfire, putting him down. With his corpse on top of me, I pull the gun from my holster and fire at the Nazis, killing one, two, three, four...
*CLICK!*"Dammit!" I push the Nazi's corpse off of me and over the edge, before rolling backwards and grabbing the cliff's edge. I begin to shimmy along, the remaining Germans firing in an attempt to get one of my hands. One of them runs forward to stomp on my left hand; I quickly grab his ankle and yank him over the edge before he can do so. He falls to the ground below with a scream which dies down the further he goes, before cutting off as he hits the ground. Poor son of a bitch.
Quickly, I pull a magazine out of my pockets with my right hand and swiftly reload my gun, before reaching over the edge and firing blindly again until it's out. I continue shimmying along, before dropping down onto another cliff's edge. I nearly stumble and fall, before a strong gust of wind pushes me forward and onto my face. I pick myself up, just in time to see the Germans firing at me and running to leap to my position. I quickly break into a sprint, running around a corner in an attempt to lose them.
Soon, all I can hear is their far off shouting. I stop to catch my breath, chuckling to myself.
"Fucking Hell, that was close..." ... But my rest is short lived, as not long after I hear shouting right behind me. I turn around, seeing a Nazi soldier looking in the direction of his friends, shouting that he's found me. Acting fast, I run towards him and leap, delivering a drop kick to his chest that sends him flying over the edge of a cliff. He screams as he falls,
"MEIN LEBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" Well, that's indicator enough that he found me. I run again.
After turning a corner, still running and looking over my shoulder to see if they're following me, I bump into someone. I pull out my gun in fear that I found a Nazi, only to realize too late that I had forgotten to reload it during the brief break I had... And then I realize there's no reason for me to, as the person I bumped into is dressed in the conventional clothing of a Buddhist Monk.
"Aw Hell, sorry, I'm just in a bit of a jam right now and I..." I pause.
"... You don't speak English do you?"His answer is a bewildered expression and some confused sounding Chinese. I knew I should've learned at least some rudimentary Chinese before I came up here, because I can't understand what the hell he's saying.
"Listen, buddy, I am in some deep shit right now. I need you to hide me out in your monastery."He continues to speak in a rapid fire, confused manner. I almost feel bad for the guy; some strange American just bumped into him while he was probably out in his Zen garden or something. I decide to book it, dashing towards the monastery in the distance. He shouts after me, before he's silenced by a gunshot. More follow, bullets whizzing past me or hitting the ground behind me as I run.
I slam my entire weight into the monastery doors, bursting through the old oak and shouting in pain. Man, that stings! But there's no time to get over the pain as I keep running. I notice a pillar decorated with a banner, going up to a balcony on the second floor that overlooks this entrance room that I seem to be in. I jump up and scramble up the wall, grabbing hold of the banner and climbing up it as fast as I can. Come on, come on...
My left hand grabs the railing of the balcony and I pull myself up, landing on my behind when I get over. I look up at two monks who give me a strange and almost terrified look. I pick myself up and give them a sheepish grin.
"Uh, sorry about that, I just uhhhh..." The Nazis run through the doorway at that moment, and I look on with wide eyes.
"GET DOWN!" I grab the two monks and throw myself and them to the ground, just in time too, as gunfire erupts and hits the wall where we once were.
"Go, go!" I shout, waving my hands for them to get out of here. Thankfully, they take heed and run, the Nazis barely missing them as they head deeper into the temple. I shamble towards the cover of the large wooden pillar, catching my breath... Then I hear it.
"Granate!" A stick grenade lands a few feet to my right.
"SHIT!" I pull myself up and run forward, the grenade exploding with a large
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* behind me! I stumble into the next room, thankfully avoiding taking any shrapnel or splintered wood to my body. I keep running, heading towards a window which heads to the large set of stone stairs outside the entrance, which leads back down the mountain. I push the shutters open and begin to climb out of it, grabbing onto the windowsill, before dropping to the ground below. Out of the monastery, I begin to run down the stairs so that I can head back to the plane that brought me and my late crew of backstabbing bastards here.
But halfway down the stairs, I hear it... German shouting at the top of the steps. Then gunfire.
"Dammit!" I begin to sprint even faster as bullets whizz past me. If I'm being entirely honest, I'm more scared of tripping and falling all the way down these steps than I am taking a bullet to the head; at least that would be quicker and less painful!
Thankfully, it's not long before I'm back at the base, where the plane is parked. Tommy, one of my friends and my loyal pilot, is there, smoking a cigar. I look over my shoulder and curse. The Nazis are gaining on me! I turn back around and sprint faster than I ever have.
"TOMMY! GET THE PLANE STARTED!"His bored expression morphs into a look of shock as he sees my sweaty, bloodsoaked form sprinting towards them. Fear quickly mingles with his expression as he looks up the stairs and sees the dozen Nazis giving me chase. Quickly, he climbs into the cockpit and gets the engine started.
Bullets strike near my feet, mere inches away from them in fact, and I nearly end up doing a dance as I run to avoid them. I reach the plane and quickly climb into it, before Tommy finally takes off. I give a loud
"WOOHOO!" as we take off, leaving the Nazis behind. I laugh, nearly crying from the joy.
"Tommy, you old son of a bitch, you just saved my life!""What the Hell was that all about?""Guessing our old buddy the Fuhrer was after the Seal as well. But no worries. I managed to grab it." I pull the jade Seal from my coat pocket, smiling fondly as I admire it.
"This will fetch a high price my friend. The others... Weren't as lucky as I was. They won't be getting their cut, which means more for us.""What happened to them?""Left me for dead as soon as the going got rough. Karma ended up biting them in the ass when they ran into the Germans.""Poor bastards.""I'll say... Well, time to head back to Gotham. Someone there will definitely take it. Maybe that old gangster Falcone will want a prized jewel to add to his collection or something.""Let's hope."With that, I close my eyes and lean back into my seat, prepared to sleep after that harrowing escape...
What a thrilling escape by our hero, and with the Heirloom Seal of The Realm still intact! Be sure to grab the next issue of The Thrilling Adventures of David Kasimir at your local comic book stand for only five cents when it hits them next month!
Copyright Unicycle Comics 1942
Member
Noctis
mickilennial
Ezekiel
Supermaxx
Bluetommy
Half Pint
Sep
webboysurf
Festive