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Weak. Fragile. Useless.

My girlfriend.

Weak. Fragile. Useless.

My girlfriend.

Rose is used to mantras. Because... because it is expected of a priestess? Yes. That must be it. Long hours spent in meditation over the miracles of the goddess, her ten thousand transcendent titles, her eight million fluffy tails. She lets the words step into the spotlight of her mind, declare themselves into the resounding dark, and step back into shadow, one at a time, over and over.

Weak. Fragile. Useless.

My girlfriend.

She is weak. She is not strong. Her restraints are hopeless; she shouldn’t even bother to struggle against them. She could never lift the sword that— what sword? Was she thinking of the bronze rod the Countess was holding? That surely must be it. As she is walked through the castle, her arms become slimmer with a slow and gradual diminishing, until the ropes (inescapable, adamantine, heavy) are dangling on the cock of her wrists.

Weak. Fragile. Useless.

My girlfriend.

She is fragile. She is not a mountain, not a serpent with invulnerable scales, not Equal To... well, anyone. She is a flower. She is a rose. She needs to be held and kept safe. She dwindles like a candle in the arms of her guards until she is no longer towering over them, but dainty, delicate, very holdable, just begging to be swept up into someone’s arms or over their shoulder. A white cloth slides down her chin and rests like a scarf around her collarbone.

Weak. Fragile. Useless.

My girlfriend.

She is useless, not skilled or useful or competent. Her chest is... awkward, compared to the rest of her, just a little too big, made for getting in the way of holding swords or fitting in tight spaces. Her hind end, the same, made for bumping into things and being smacked. Her footfall is not a sure, confident thing, but now stumbles and is hesitant, the body being made to forget... forget something. Why had she been so sure and capable before? No, she wasn’t, she must have been misremembering. She’s a silly little thing, all blushing and muffledly squeaking as she remembers her betters saying:

Weak. Fragile. Useless.

My girlfriend.

She is pushed into a small, warmly-lit room full of mirrors, where she is given the opportunity to look at herself, and she sees: the girlfriend of Princess Chen. Weak and fragile and useless and so, so lucky. She is told to sit; her bonds are removed, the sodden gag pulled from between her teeth; she is told to wait. Then the door is closed.

Rose, Princess Chen’s girlfriend, waits. Not just because she’s been told, but because she knows that Chen will come and save her, and that she is supposed to be in need of saving. She’s weak and fragile and useless and loved, after all, and—

Her fingers find something hidden away underneath her outfit, which is starting to fall away from her, leaving her very exposed. She runs her fingers over it reverently, over the pink leather, over the studs, and she remembers where she got it. Of course she does. How could she forget?

She lifts the collar that has her name on it and buckles it around her throat, just snug enough that she’ll remember, no matter what, Chen fitting it around her neck for the first time at the Flying Market of Princess Jessic; and their soft, gentle kiss; and how Rose felt safer and happier then than she had felt in, in mil— in years. Because she’s just a silly little priestess who has the cutest artist princess girlfriend in the world. And no matter what happens while she waits for Chen to escape and come save her, she can hold onto that truth.
Redana is still poisoned. She has to be. The tightness in her stomach, the way her throat is closed up, the frantic beating of her heart and sweat dripping off her sides. The poison courses through her veins, and it laps against the locked door in her heart. Behind the door is a world where everything is broken forever because she forced her best friend in the whole world to kiss her. Behind the door is a world where Bella becomes small and quiet and not fun any more, because Redana was a bad girl. Locking the door is don’t be naughty with your servitors and your highness, please accept my suit and the ways that Bella would stiffen and try not to run away when she brought her face close, and Redana might be dumb but she knows, okay? She knows Bella doesn’t want her. Not like— not that way.

And Bella being her best friend is— was. Was the most important thing in the whole world. So that kiss can’t have happened. It’s the forbidden thing, the freedom she doesn’t even dream about because it’s impossible, not in the way that going to space is impossible but in the way that being her father is impossible. And the poison surges through her, an acid sea.

And now she knows, too, that Bella was never her friend. All those flinches were— she must have been disgusted whenever Redana got too close, dared to touch her hand, rested her head on Bella’s shoulder. She was such a good actress. She had Redana fooled the whole time. Hiding all of that contempt and bile and venom behind polite, strained smiles. It wasn’t just that Bella was straight as an arrow, it was that she was roiling with hatred for her charge for, for so long, and Redana really was dumb, wasn’t she? Wasn’t she just.

That. Over and over. The shark beneath the sea of her thoughts. She hated you. She hated you. She hated you.

And still the poison burns.

“Don’t do that,” Dany says, and her voice is small and raw and hurt. “Please.” She doesn’t explain what that is. The words would break her like taking a sledgehammer to stained glass. So instead she changes the subject. When her hand rests on the table, next to the plate of pancakes, it shakes. “And I don’t. Didn’t. Whatever the Hunt and the Harvest and the Heart is. Are. Whatever.”

(And here the Auspex cheerfully shows her— what, exactly? If anything?)

“But I’m still going. I’m not going to stop. I have friends who don’t hate me and—“

She stops. She wouldn’t be Redana if she didn’t. “I’m sorry,” she says, and then coughs out the last of the venom; it shines on her lower lip, where the punctures are already closed. “I didn’t mean— I guess you didn’t hate me. I think. I don’t know. Because all of you were putting on a show for me the whole time. Pretending. And just... I’m not going back with you, Mynx. I’m sorry. I have to see this through.”

But she doesn’t yell for help, or tell her to get out, or anything like that. She sits and looks at Mynx with those sad eyes, and waits for the next part of the performance.

Then: “would you like some of the pancakes? Or some milk?” Because Redana is still Redana, whether or not she’s changed.
Han!

The Dragon’s Pearl is fairly standard, as far as highland barges go. It sits high in the water, traveling at a sedate pace downriver, pulled by an ox on the canal path and guided along by poles. At its prow is the carving of the Thunder Dragon, the legendary mother of the Flower Kingdoms, clutching a pearl in her talons; her horns rise from the center of her head in waves, like some vast and deadly chameleon. Behind, the barge’s deck is half covered by a curved roof over simple benches. The barge, not being particularly large, usually has extra passengers sitting between the prow and the benches, legs tucked in beneath them to fit underneath an umbrella.

But today, there is a wedding party traveling downriver to Golden Chrysanth taking up the benches, and you are not going to make somebody sit outside when they should be surrounded by their friends and family. So you are sitting, stubbornly, in the rain, radiating disdainful energy to scare pity away. Besides, who would dare approach you? You’re looking pretty scary, and the wedding party is comprised of lowlanders who recognize your fashion: a dangerous highlands country thug. Probably doesn’t want to be around us, you can almost hear them saying. Don’t give her an umbrella, she’d just end up breaking it.

So you sit, getting wetter and wetter, hood up but rain somehow getting inside your poncho anyway, in the low light of dusk, completely umbrellaless. And that’s when the priestess (who you were sure was with the wedding party) looms over you.

“Do you mind if I...?” She doesn’t finish the sentence, but goes ahead and takes a seat right next to you. Very close, even. Shoulder of her blue river-patterned poncho rubbing up against yours, the back of her hand holding the umbrella over both of you brushing against your soaked knee. When she half-turns to glance at you, her face is hidden— well, of course it’s hidden, she’s veiled and has her poncho’s hood up. But the lantern light from the covered benches glints off her glasses, and you get just a glimpse of her dark eyes behind them.

“I was getting a little overwhelmed over there,” she lies, transparently. “It’s all... bwah, yay, you know? Just a lot!” She does a little gesture with her free hand that might be intended to be... fireworks? “Thank you for letting me take a seat where it’s quieter.”

(She smells like a garden just after rain, but even sweeter, richer. Her voice is high and has an accent you can’t quite place, but sounds... classy. And she’s tilting the umbrella over you.)

What happened to your umbrella, anyway? And are you going to scare this little busybody off, before she can get on your case about something?

***

Piripiri!

Yayeh!

Festivals in Golden Chrysanth are riotous, and the Umbrella Festival is no exception; it might, in fact, be the biggest. Despite the flooding of the gutters, everyone is happy to say that not a drop of rain reaches the street, there are so many umbrellas on display on the streets (not to mention stalls, making the already cramped streets into tight mazes). The lanterns hanging at every door and stall turn the silver light of the stormy sky into a kaleidoscope.

Yayeh!

Fried fruits! Fried fish! Fried flatbread! Sticky sweet pastes! Fried noodles, coated in spicy-sweet sauce, served eyewateringly hot! Mystery Filling Buns, with the skeleton of an umbrella traced in frosting, each one a gamble! Wine, spiced or floral, poured into flimsy paper cups! Golden Rum, the official drink of the city, which you, as a visitor, must always remember to order diluted and with ice (lest you sear orange molasses into your throat), both because it’s cheaper and because only barbarians drink it straight (as you did, that first memorable time). Candied nuts, dried fruits, fruit-infused cookies, and that odd N’yari dish cooked in a sheep’s stomach (and nobody will tell you what it’s made of).

Yayeh!

And nobody’s wearing ponchos, which means bare shoulders and bare arms, bare stomachs and bare chests (though that is both rarer than it was and a deliberate political statement, these days). Necklaces, bracers, bracelets; girdles, earrings, headdresses. Everything and everyone is fighting for your attention, your approval, and (in the case of the vendors) your money— but not in the sort of way that you might see back home. It is doubtless rather awkward. Look at lips and be polite, dear.

Thankfully, your host has Dominion sympathies, and is wearing red and gold, her skirt jangling and her top made of layer upon layer of ruffled satin. Her servants and bodyguards are a crowd unto themselves, drawn in her wake, and she dives gleefully into the narrow streets, pulling you along.

What sort of relationship do you have with Azazuka, anyhow? And, despite the fact that she could probably buy this whole street, what gift do you want to give her before the end of the festival?

***

Zhaojun!

This far into the forest, the rain has changed from texture to sound. The boughs overhead: an awning, a symphony. It almost drowns out the story of the guide, and the story of the guide is this: “On the hottest day of the Hot Season, a rakshasa queen took residence in the shrine of a Loyal God.” That is what the locals call the gods of disease, misfortune, and decay. It does not do to attract their ire; better to both flatter them and remind them of their allegiance to the Sapphire Court. “She bound him tight in fantasies and sealed him away. Now we are preyed upon. No charm hung over the door keeps her servants out, and we become weaker and weaker. Half the village has already been spirited away to their larders, caught in their own dreams.”

The guide’s hair is long and straight, falling in a curtain. Her conical hat shadows her face, and the light from her lantern plays instead on her simple brown dress.

“Do not be troubled,” the priestess says. Her hair is gathered into an elaborate braid, and her voice is a self-conscious facade almost natural. It would take a keen ear to notice how she leans on her vowels too much, overly enunciating to avoid slipping into old rhythms. “The goddess Zhaojun, descended from Heaven, has already deigned to hear you out.” She is almost clever here. She tries to maneuver Zhaojun into definitive agreement, thinking herself a player of the Game of Generals; to make something concrete of the goddess’s simple marble mask. “Such affronts to the proper order will not stand against her,” she adds, with a flourish of intentional humility.

But perhaps this is too harsh an assessment of Sagacious Crane of the Reeds. After all, not only must she impress this rather singular emissary to the Flower Kingdoms, but there is a unsettlement running down her spine, and not simply the excitable one that is caused by being so close to Zhaojun. No, this is a more dangerous feeling, a premonition of danger. The way the sound of the rain has become a distant roar, a dome of calamity out of sight; the soft and lulling sound of the guide’s voice; the knowledge that if she fails, she risks not only imprisonment in fantasy but also the displeasure of the Sapphire Mother and Heaven itself for allowing harm to come to Zhaojun.

So she armors herself in control. Surely she can make Zhaojun understand the esteem she is held in here, that the Flower Kingdoms are not some barbaric backwater but the most vibrant and blessed land in all the world. Surely, with such a subtle nudge, she has committed Zhaojun to defeating the fairy rabble and made her feel good about doing so. And surely she has nothing to fear, as a priestess of the Sapphire Court and as the companion of Zhaojun herself.

Surely.

***

Kalaya!

The cup shatters when it hits the support beam on the far side of the hallway; an unlucky thing, that. If it had hit paper, it might have just caused a tear and then bounced onto the reed mats. But now the cramped hallway is covered in small shards of white-glazed porcelain, and there are shards stuck in the hair of the crying server who narrowly avoided being hit in the head by it, and from the sound of the hoarse roar that comes from the private room, the breaking of the cup didn’t even make its occupant feel any better.

The inn’s owner, a grey-haired woman with a bent back from years stooping in the garden, gives you a look that’s half pleading and half exhaustion. You’ve already had the discussion; nothing more needs to be said about what lies beyond.

Petony, the Tiger Knight, needs to sober up.

She’s drinking them dry, clearing out their larders, and she’s got an entire retinue accompanying her. While it would be dishonorable for her to react to requests to leave or at the very least pay her tab, her hosts are very much aware that she is unstable, armed, and in a destructive mood. Having the moral high ground wouldn’t help rebuild an inn, or even an entire village, if things spiral out of control.

Which is the real variable, if things come to blows. You, against a drunk Petony and her warriors, most of whom are either also drunk or very high? A dangerous fight, but one you might still win. But rather than considering victory, consider the risk of collateral damage if you move incautiously.

What do your stories have to say about Petony’s conduct? What is expected of you in this situation, as a knight and not a princess? And have you ever fought a knight before?

***

Giriel!

You are not in Golden Chrysanth officially. But this teahouse is not so far away, and it is closer than you have been in some time. Outside, the world is lost in the grey veil of rain; inside, it is warm, the world lit in oranges and yellows and reds. It is like taking tea in the heart of a fire, but without the fire.

Cathak Agata is fire enough for all, anyway. She is not like the last emissary, the one who was all self-importance and furious commands. The Red Wolf is an invitation to admire, to come close, to burn yourself on her. And her smile is so impossibly innocent that, even knowing that she is dangerous, it is difficult not to wonder if you have been misled and that she is exactly as she presents herself: a heroine fumbling about in a strange land, eager to learn from you.

“There are so many subtle changes in this season, don’t you think?” The lanternlight plays across her speckled skin. Her hands are... her fingers are, well. Nice. She brushed them against the back of your hand when she offered you your cup, and it’s hard not to let your attention drift back to them. She guilelessly takes another sip before continuing. “I’m not a magician. But I’m in awe of you and what you do. It’s like being a diplomat, a scholar, and a gardener all in one.”

Being around her, the warmth is... comforting. Seductive. Easy to yield to. The warmth simply wants you to use its energy to act. The Red Wolf simply needs to nudge your desires into a place that is convenient for her. How much of that are you aware of, as a student of essence and enchantment, and how much is just the witchy instinct in your gut, and how much is it still managing to slip by you anyway?

“And that’s why I’ve come to ask you for a favor. But first—“ She waves over one of her slaves, who wears a fine robe and a gleaming golden collar, who sets a box down on the table. The Red Wolf opens the exquisitely carved lid, and packed tightly inside is all the night sky. The fabric is impossibly soft, plush, inviting you to sink into it; the constellations above Scarlet’s mountain are delicately stitched in tiny diamonds and fine golden thread, and the moon is an empty circle of silver leaf. The cloak’s clasp is the Imperial Eye, done in jet and gold.

“It’s yours,” she says, and pushes the box forward. “As a sign of my gratitude that you were willing to meet with me. I’m sorry for the quality; it was the best I could get under short notice.” Her sheepish smile is a snare; her carefully unartful humility a trap. But can you really pay attention, when the gift is the sort that princesses would envy to see you wear?

To deny the gift of the Red Wolf in her presence is difficult enough for socialites and princesses. To reject it, politely or otherwise, you must Defy Disaster; if you accept it, give her a String from your heart.
"How can it not?" Constance does not snap. It is too inward-facing to be a snap. "If I absolve her of her wrongdoing, how can it not be because I am compromised? If I condemn her, is it not the same? And what does it say of me, that the brute feels emboldened to say this to me the first time we have seen each other in a year's time? And what does it say of me, that I do not know whether I am frightened or yearning? By the Hunter and the Mother, I do not know if I want to split her in half or if--"

She strangles the words. Her needle flashes like a sword. She can control this; she has done the work before, even by candlelight, working as much by feel as by sight, and as much through experience as either. What she has not done is this. Every mediation between the world and the divine is a performance, more art than skill. You cannot learn how to stand in the place between; you can only learn the skills to do so.

"I am not here for myself," she murmurs. "I am the turning point of the Wheel. I am the door that she must pass through. And that is my punishment. All I can do-- all I should do-- is play my part. If I do that, then..."

Then she will be absolved. Then Pellinore's eyes will leave her be. Then she will not see these eyes widen, over and over again, as Robena drives the axe into Pellinore to the very haft; the confusion, the betrayal, the accusation. That Constance was in collusion; that she was a traitor, a liar, a villain; that she betrayed her very nature as a holy woman. And if part of her believed that Pellinore deserved that death, that the land must be refreshed with the blood of the guilty, then how could she believe anything less of Robena?

"I caused the blow," she says, for the first time. "I cannot give her forgiveness. It is only my place to reveal her heart, that others may judge us. It is only mine to do the task in front of me. That, and nothing more."

A tear blots the delicate fabric; Constance lowers it into her lap with shaking hands.

"Nothing more."
When Constance enters the room, for a moment the activity stops. Harold, Mort, even Tristan; everyone looks up to see her, as strong and fragile as ice. Then she takes a seat beside Mort and takes up needle and thread.

It is only once they are working on the hemming that she says, unprovoked, in the middle of an entirely separate conversation: “She professed her love.” She does not say the words loudly, but they cut through the room like a knife all the same. “As if I could,” she says, and then falters. “As if we were,” and again the words wither away in her mouth, dry and brittle like the dying crops, like the broken heads of corn, like the earth without rain.

Constance’s folk were always closest to the land. Perhaps it is not so strange that she has suffered long over this past year. Perhaps Britain’s weakness is hers, in turn. Perhaps Britain does not know what to do with the love given it, either.
"So what should I do with it?"

"What can't you do with it?" Its handler taps on the screen of their tablet, and the HUNTER-Class 猎犬 extruded more eyes and feelers as electricity raced down its spine unbidden. "Surveillance, primarily. It has the ability to optimize its sensory data in ways that not even demons can match. But also--"

"It was a rhetorical question," its buyer says. Behind the mask, his eyes are yellowed, strained. "I read your briefing. It's a hunter-carceral. It's a dog that goes and fetches what it's told to. The real question, the real question is simply... who do I send it after first?"

"I can't, uh, on the record..."

Whatever you want, the HUNTER-Class 猎犬 thinks. It wants to run. It has run, before, but on closed circuits, in mazes, in tests. Let it into the world. Let it run. Let it play. And it'll bring back whoever you want. The fire burns inside it, the active principle, and there is a strange itch in its hands where the claws meet the skin. It does not speak. It is not permitted to speak. But it lets its long, forked tongue loll, trying to express its need. Let it run. Let it find. Let it bite.

That's what it was made for, after all. That's why it exists.


***

Rose has changed before. She can't remember exactly when, but, well, it's obvious, isn't it? She wasn't always the High Priestess of Sai a'Niz. Is it possible that this place could change her, too? No, no, of course not! She is defined by her faith in the goddess, that's the cornerstone of her identity! But perhaps it will change here, too-- that her prayers will twist and take on new dimensions as they race to Heaven along the strings of the kites fluttering in their hundreds in the breeze, a cresting wave that reminds her of places she can't quite remember, but that makes her heart warm, warm, so warm indeed.

(The thing deep inside her knows better; "Rose" is malleable indeed. She is not the actress but the role; change the role, through fox magic or subtler ways, and Rose will remember being a high priestess only vaguely, as in a dream. Consistency, the choice of roles, the synthesis of who you were with who you are: those things are locked away in a candle wick. It would be easy to convince her that she is a maid of the castle, with strong arms for doing the washing-up and shapely legs for the curve of stockings; it would be easy to convince her that she was secretly a princess all along, and not just any princess but a demure, helpless one; it would be easy to convince her that she was a guard of the Sky Castle all along and set her to guard the prisoners; it would be effortless to convince her that she is a slave-girl, a decoration and a companion, a sultry thing that makes the monk-thing inside her squirm and hide its head beneath its coils.)

(Only, please, the thing of coils begs silently: no more running. No more chasing. No more hurting. This world is a kinder world, but the memories still come at her with hot irons and whips and brands of shame. The looks of despair, or hatred, or betrayed agony; the feeling of skin yielding under its hands, of bones coming undone, of the body being unraveled beneath its claws. First it did it because it loved the work; then it did it because it could not become other than it was; then it did it because it would not let anything stand between it and an elusive freedom. But it killed. It was a killer. And now she will always have been a killer.)

(What if the Baroness decides to use the Equal of Crowns for conquest? Make of it a sword, a weapon, a terrible word which is Devotion, an invincible sword-saint trained and honed and brutal? What if the candle is locked away and never lit again? What if, what if, what if? What if your weakness doomed this world to blood and ruin again, nameless thing of power and desire? What if your inability to control your desire and your powerlessness before the wiles of foxes has trampled your dreams of being a new growth and a new creation underfoot?)

Not knowing why she does it, Rose tilts her head just an inch in the fingers of the Baroness and looks up at her as those gloved fingers brush against the bottom fringe of her gag, and her eyes are vulnerable and exposed, begging for something that she cannot even say to herself. She is, despite all her strength, despite her size, as small and meek in that moment as Princess Chen, helpless and forced to rely on someone outside of herself. She longs, she fears, she craves, she aches, and she doesn't understand any, any of it. All she knows is that she has to convince the Baroness of, of something. Or the world will crack in and not even Sai a'Niz will be able to save her priestess from the end of everything.

Rose has one advantage over the nameless thing, too: she is shameless. There is no self-consciousness in her silent pleading, no hesitancy as she manually overrides pride and dignity, no awareness of her companions, as much as they mean to her, watching her as she opens herself through her eyes and her body language, every small gesture, every shudder, every slackening of muscle writ large on her statuesque form. She makes herself pitiable with the same thoughtless serenity as she worshiped the dragon's foot, appealing to the heart of this shining world that flows through this entire castle of transformations, of changes in the wind, of numberless kites.

[I kept arguing with myself if I should roll Entice again, but the whole point of this post is being vulnerable and shameless and so I will do it anyway. 8, which is perfect. Like, that's such a good result for this beat.]
This is how things are.

At the end of the Hot Season, the Blue Silk Glove Marchwarden mounts upon her tiger, which rides on the hidden winds all the way to the Court of Nine Calamities, where the indolent mountain-and-cloud gods keep their revels. There she announces herself, and presents the commands of the Sapphire Mother of Lotuses concerning where they are to loose their herds, and how much rain they will let flow. And there she says: you may take your orders and be paid for your work, or you may tell me you will not; then I will take you and knock you down, and the Court may see who is the stronger! Then, if the mountain-and-cloud gods do not prove irascible, she will take their brandies with them, and make free with the chest of offerings she brings with her, and pay for the services of courtesans of the upper air.

Sometimes they seize her and she knocks them down, and they are chastened; and sometimes she seizes them and they knock her down, and then they are emboldened. And when they are chastened, they grumble among themselves and make trouble among the work orders; and when they are emboldened, then they work great mischief, and then rivers flood and bridges melt away. And at times they will hold back their flocks, but they will succumb to the temptation to make a clamour before too long, and then what a storm there is!

And it is known, too, that they shake their silver manes at the Blue Silk Glove Marchwarden, and leer at her, inquiring whether she knows what happens to a flower overwatered; and it is known that the N’yari preach the Storm Victory, destined for some ever-elusive day. On that day, they say, the earth will crack and yawn, and the thunder will drive the House of Lapis Lazuli into the deeps below with a great slide of mud and water; and then we shall see who rules, flowersick lowlanders! And then we shall see who rules.


***

In the Flower Kingdoms, in the Rainy Season, there is no sunlight. Not at dawn, not at dusk, not at midday. The clouds are a blanket over the sky, and the light is theirs.

Look up, and see them roiling like the waves of the sea, shot through with streaks of moonish light. They are bright, bright enough to illuminate everything below in grey and silver, and they are inconstant, making shadows sway and flicker below. The rain is a steady, constant drumbeat, a drowning-out; raise your voice, or sit close together.

In defiance, the kingdoms below open countless umbrellas, a sudden blossom of endless flowers. In defiance, stained glass lanterns break the silver cloudlight. In defiance, the oiled traveling-cloaks are donned, long and covered in intricate designs: of labyrinths (among the more daring, who do not mind its N’yari connotations), of leaves, of rivers, and of course, of flowers.

The roads are churned mud. Barges still work their way up and down swollen rivers, but the wealthy and proud travel by litter. After all, wheels may get stuck, but a true child of the Flowers knows how to walk over mud without losing their balance or their way.

When the rain grows strong, or the traveler grows weary, then see the lanterns at the door to the inn or the teahouse, inviting you inside for a drink and an opportunity to dry yourself off and rest your feet in a heated basin; or, if money or time is tight, a seat on a bench in a covered and crowded food court, where the sound of the rain mixes with the hiss of fried noodles.




The Dark Carnival

What now? What now? The Dark Carnival lies in ruin all around, crushed and torn and smashed up by the gods of a terrible noplace, and the Grail at its heart is sinking into torpor. So two rather alarming things happen roughly at the same time.

The first is that the Grail's blood begins to flow freely. If you followed that thick, viscous blood, flowing from pipes and down gutters and oozing up around your feet, you'd find your way to the desecrated Big Top, to a shining cup and a promise of honking immortality forever. Really, this would just be gross and awkward and require some serious disinfecting once you left (because nobody wants to catch clown) if that was all that was happening.

The other thing is that the Dark Carnival begins to fold in on itself like a flower closing its petals. Boardwalks tear up out of the ground and become inclines, then walls. Tents come crashing down in on themselves in huge storms of canvas and tangling electric lights. Fried pickle carts become meteors. Clowns go flying with doleful honks. It would take a miracle to escape alive.

(And Jackdaw nearly doesn't, tumbling backwards and getting Grail Juice all over her coat, a ridiculous little bundle bouncing down to the Big Top until a certain wolf in a tatty red-and-gold coat of her own tackles her and pins her down into the Wicked Sauce, holding her tight and close and safe until a claw the size of a fried pickle cart scoops them up, and even then she has a hand on the back of her head smushing her into bones and thinning fur and a smell like a burning candle wick, and the thumpa-thumpa-thump of a heart more important than the one you all dared plumb.)

(Lucien clinging to the stiff-limbed professor and a tent pole, limbs still unsure about whether or not they were really supposed to be whole and unbroken and thus whether or not they were supposed to be holding this much weight at all? Much less homoerotically charged.)

And the whole farce ends on a short scrubgrass hillside. The cavern roof overhead is beginning to twinkle with black stars, the walls sloughing away as the nature of this inbetweenaplace changes, the Forest beginning to predominate. In the distance are the hoarse croaks of migrating owls, and this place won't be safe forever. But it's a beat of respite, a safe place to watch as the whole Carnival goes right down some cosmic drain, there to pupate again.

Grail-soaked clothes are tossed aside. A blanket is retrieved from somewhere inside Sasha. In undershirts and underthings, almost everyone lounges, and fried pickles are shared, and some hot ham and jam and biscuits. There is a conspicuous bossy absence, but Lucien is (of course) sure to reassure that Ailee's somewhere safe and fine and good, probably. Almost certainly.

In the ceiling-sky above, neon-teal bees dance in geometric angel-banishing patterns. Sasha radiates heat as her boiler slowly cools. Distant and far away, there is the sound of another Sasha's roaring horn, as Black Coleman races off to chase a better world. Jackdaw finds herself in the lap of a scruffy Wolf, and those bare arms around her torso are saying more than a hoarse and starved voice ever could, except in the unlight of something not a candle, and her heart is a drumbeat against Jackdaw's bare spine.

Even down here in the crucible of worlds, there is goodness. You bring it down with you.

***

Coda

And so died King Dragon, Goldmouth, Ratlord, Point Constant, the Consuming Fire, destroyed by a pawn that made it all the way across the chessboard. Lothbruk melted in the fires of his unraveling, and with it melted the rat cults, and with them melted a web of wickedness and vile intrigue, and with it all melted the dark dreams of Control, Consumption, and Greed that found their nexus in that figure of Sin. One day, one day there will be something that is like King Dragon, an accretion of the desires he embodied, but it will not be for a very, very long time. And until that day comes, we can sleep more soundly, knowing that Sin itself has been diluted and made, if not harmless, at the very least purposeless.

All because of the sacrifice of one brave soul. All because Ailee, Angel of the Heart, chose her dreams over His power, chose meaning over meaninglessness.

Chose, in the end, Love.


- Surma Sundish, "On The Death of King Dragon: A Narrative," retrieved from the Heart by the Bransmuth Literary Society's Detritus Branch.
Ailee!

It is Curiosity that stays the fires. Curiosity, vast and bottomless. Curiosity at this broken, malfunctioning toy. Curiosity at thinking it ever thought itself separate. His eyes are vast and molten gold, his pupils large enough to be doorways.

When King Dragon moves, it is wet. Terribly wet. He bleeds his self out into the world. Where he is not harder than steel and stone and hate, he sloughs. He arrays himself before you, his wings unfurling for the first time in untold years, and when he opens his jaws, poison sloshes out and runs in fiery rivulets down to your feet, down towards Surma who hangs back in the boat still.

“Welcome back,” he says to this reflection of his power, his might, his self. “Welcome back,” he says, his mouth a hole in the world that you could fall into forever. “Welcome back,” he whispers, and the Judgment falls on you like an anvil. That you are worth only what insight he may glean from you; that the fragment of his nature inside you is all that there is.

How dare he? There is only room for one queen in a hive, only room for one dragon in the world, because otherwise they will find their opposite out and fling themselves headlong together in a crushing embrace, thrashing, stinging, brutal, until only one remains.

And you, Ailee Sundish, are more than your self. The dragon nature roils and burns within you, here, where the essence of the King shines crimson from every surface, where he has extruded himself into the very fabric of the world, so pliable here. Only one! Only one!

Give him his death. Take his throne. Take the room to become your inner self, great and grand and red, red, red.
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