The party starts by lighting candles. Dolly insists. Frazzled, fortified, her hair a mess, she steals the blowtorch and turns it to the careful task of lighting candles before the altar. Little bits of magic and mystery in a universe that is full of them. The closest thing to having little stars brought down to earth. Candles and a little whispered prayer of thanks.
Then someone gets the footage of the fight up and running, and she's bouyed up by her friends and her goddess's cult and the drink in her hand, which fizzes, which is a lovely pale green, sort of like this lichen that she knows, it's a mountain lichen, it grows on tree roots and there's a sort of symbiotic relationship, Angela, it protects pine tree roots from the wind and the merciless sunlight and in return the lichen drinks up a little bit of life through the roots like through a straw, Angela, like this, sssssllllppp, and one day she's going to take you back to Hybrasil and show you, up on the mountains, the lichen that this drink is like, and Jade will be with us, too, she's coming right back, Angela, I lit candles and that's magic. She'll see the candles and she'll guide by them and she'll be right back with us, you'll see.
(This party feels like something that is happening to someone who happens to be Dolly. She veers between awareness of her body as the drink starts going to her head and feeling like she's watching herself from the eyes of the battered, broken idol, which needs a name, Jade jumped into this whole thing without ever giving it a name because it was just an extension of her own body, but it's, like, both their bodies, and a secret third thing, and it needs a name. She'll think of a name later. Or she'll ask Jade, once she's back. Look at this sillyhead, nuzzling into Angela's arms and melting with the relief that she's still not alone even when Jade's... walking. That there's light, and friends, and people all around her, and they won, they won, they beat the Red Band, she hides her face in one hand and starts madly giggling, tail lashing, so close to the crash, but Ksharta's there with a plate of, ooooh, shrimp, and she starts stuffing her face with the shrimp, sucking them right out of the crispy shell, gesturing with them as she tries to explain to Nine Forests how she wants constellations painted on the, the, the Confambulation, no, that's not the right name, but constellations and rivers on her legs, the underworld rivers, the scorpions and the crystalthinks and the dark water, to show that they're wading through, and wasn't that the kind of fight where new paint's needed, anyway? Where it's gone from one thing to another. Where it's a new being. Where they're new and weak-legged and shining.)
It is the freedom of gods. It is the freedom of self. It is the freedom of the howl of I Am. The rites cool the anger of the foam-mad goddess, and when she is given wine, she finally accepts. She speaks blessings over the spirit of the jackal and runs with it, through the black trees and the soft earth, in the deep womb of Hybrasil, and she knows that the freedom of defiance is a wonderful and a terrible freedom.
And it is one of the roads that unfolds before her in potential: the blue road. The road of piracy and terrible star-flashing freedom. There are other roads, too: the road of service to Hybrasil and a temple built with deep foundations upon her surface, or the road of kingdom-founding, roving until she finds a new garden-world to gift to her bride as a jewel in her crown, and another sister to Hybrasil herself. But she does not have to choose a road yet.
Not when there are candles shining on her red road, and the sound of revels, and her Dolly's laughter. Not when she has yet to prove herself the mightiest of all gods, or at least the most determined. Not when she still has to brush Dolly's hair and reassure her that she did well, and not when she still has to think about the perils of the contest.
Not when she still has to test herself against a God-Taming Hero.
Then someone gets the footage of the fight up and running, and she's bouyed up by her friends and her goddess's cult and the drink in her hand, which fizzes, which is a lovely pale green, sort of like this lichen that she knows, it's a mountain lichen, it grows on tree roots and there's a sort of symbiotic relationship, Angela, it protects pine tree roots from the wind and the merciless sunlight and in return the lichen drinks up a little bit of life through the roots like through a straw, Angela, like this, sssssllllppp, and one day she's going to take you back to Hybrasil and show you, up on the mountains, the lichen that this drink is like, and Jade will be with us, too, she's coming right back, Angela, I lit candles and that's magic. She'll see the candles and she'll guide by them and she'll be right back with us, you'll see.
(This party feels like something that is happening to someone who happens to be Dolly. She veers between awareness of her body as the drink starts going to her head and feeling like she's watching herself from the eyes of the battered, broken idol, which needs a name, Jade jumped into this whole thing without ever giving it a name because it was just an extension of her own body, but it's, like, both their bodies, and a secret third thing, and it needs a name. She'll think of a name later. Or she'll ask Jade, once she's back. Look at this sillyhead, nuzzling into Angela's arms and melting with the relief that she's still not alone even when Jade's... walking. That there's light, and friends, and people all around her, and they won, they won, they beat the Red Band, she hides her face in one hand and starts madly giggling, tail lashing, so close to the crash, but Ksharta's there with a plate of, ooooh, shrimp, and she starts stuffing her face with the shrimp, sucking them right out of the crispy shell, gesturing with them as she tries to explain to Nine Forests how she wants constellations painted on the, the, the Confambulation, no, that's not the right name, but constellations and rivers on her legs, the underworld rivers, the scorpions and the crystalthinks and the dark water, to show that they're wading through, and wasn't that the kind of fight where new paint's needed, anyway? Where it's gone from one thing to another. Where it's a new being. Where they're new and weak-legged and shining.)
It is the freedom of gods. It is the freedom of self. It is the freedom of the howl of I Am. The rites cool the anger of the foam-mad goddess, and when she is given wine, she finally accepts. She speaks blessings over the spirit of the jackal and runs with it, through the black trees and the soft earth, in the deep womb of Hybrasil, and she knows that the freedom of defiance is a wonderful and a terrible freedom.
And it is one of the roads that unfolds before her in potential: the blue road. The road of piracy and terrible star-flashing freedom. There are other roads, too: the road of service to Hybrasil and a temple built with deep foundations upon her surface, or the road of kingdom-founding, roving until she finds a new garden-world to gift to her bride as a jewel in her crown, and another sister to Hybrasil herself. But she does not have to choose a road yet.
Not when there are candles shining on her red road, and the sound of revels, and her Dolly's laughter. Not when she has yet to prove herself the mightiest of all gods, or at least the most determined. Not when she still has to brush Dolly's hair and reassure her that she did well, and not when she still has to think about the perils of the contest.
Not when she still has to test herself against a God-Taming Hero.