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1 yr ago
Current @SaltSight Game was Astlibra: Revision. Found it on sale bundled with another game I've been wanting so I gave it a shot and got like, straight indie JRPG of the early 2000s injected into my veins.
3 likes
1 yr ago
Hate that strange ennui that hits after 100%'ing a really, really good game. Good time was had, but man am I glad it can't mess my sleep schedule up anymore.
6 likes
3 yrs ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
3 yrs ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.

Bio

No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts

Cornelius Bojangles

Interacting with: Joe Bob, Townsfolk,
Hearth Town Square - Adventurer's Guild|| Wheelin' and Dealin' || Down in the dumps...


Well, at least the produce was moving!

And so were the people.

With nary a word after they bought the produce beyond some hushed whispers.

Cornelius wouldn't dwell on it though, packing up his makeshift stall back into his wheelbarrow. One of his crows would peek its head out and give a brief "Caw".

"Well let's see...carry the four...divide some junk out...oh! In about 230 more Market Days, I'll have enough for that fancy toupee. No, wait, gotta buy fertilizer with this, so uh...what's five times six again Joe Bob?"

"Caw"

"Huh. Really? Crazy. But, uh...make that 530 market days. But, one'a these days we'll have a bumper crop and you'll all get all the good corn and seed you can eat! That's a promise," the scarecrow said, reaching down to gently scratch and rub underneath the crow's chin, before starting to make his way out of the Market. He had to pack everything up to not be a nuisance, after all.

Just as he was fixing to leave though, one honking big bell rang out throughout the town. Turning his head towards the newly renovated Adventurer's Guild, Cornelius would start making his way over to check out what was what. He didn't actually know enough about the town's history to know much about the guild. But, it sure was new and exciting! Peeking his head in, he'd check in, as would several crows that poked out of various patches on his tunic.
Eula




The siege upon Terauchi temple had begun, with the swarm of Varjan soldiers proving a formidable tide of steel and bodies. Eula was out an arm, and didn't have the element of surprise to try and ambush some. The sad reality of it was, in a grand scale conflict, a weapon that couldn't kill people was nothing more than a hindrance at best.

Kerry's look of resolution was what she'd expected. Kerry likely expected Eula to return and fight her, but...that was irrelevant at the moment. All consequences needed to wait while the siege was repelled. Human lives had to be saved, even if it meant pushing herself to the point of non-functioning. Eula would hold the line alongside the others, firing off the occasional bolt of stunning energy, or using her metallic arms to shield others from thrown projectiles.

She needed a chance to break through, to find the commander, and incapacitate him. In all likelihood, the mage she encountered earlier was who she was looking for...and without the element of surprise, she could only hope that she would stand a chance against him with one malfunctioning arm.
Waiting for peeps to buy a square tomater.
Hector Wyland




It was rather funny, how much completely exhausting yourself of magical energy made everything a bit of a blur for a few hours. By the time Hector came to, they were already on the carriage ride back, with his consciousness only continued thanks to Lapis' magic.

There wasn't much that Hector could do on the way back or afterwards, and even into the morning Hector was possessed by a certain listlessness that prevented him from getting any meaningful rest. In actuality...what had he done, by the end of their assignment? Nothing worthy of conversation. All eyes and mouths were on Scarlett. For her failings as a human and her successes as a magus. ...Humiliating was a light way to put it. Hector was completely outdone by someone whom he'd barely regarded as human. Enough so that the gossip was irritating him. Perhaps if Scarlett could learn control, he wouldn't have despised her from the outset.

...And then she, literally and figuratively, threw shit at her gossipers and left. Hector's spoon that had almost reached his open mouth would just dangle and fall into the oatmeal he'd been eating, the sniper's appetite readily slain by Scarlett's, let's say, "marking of territory" before he got up and walked away. Shaken from his stupor by the most disgusting thing he'd seen since his eye was slashed from its socket, Hector had something important to attend to.

His firepower had barely proven effective against the Makara, so he thought it might be best to consult an expert at gunsmithing. One Johannes Childes, who was exactly what Hector needed to get an edge in future skirmishes. Thankfully, the smell of chemicals and bourbon was less offensive than Scarlett's leavings, and as such Hector was at least noseblind enough to stomach the workshop. It was strange, seeing magic used in such a scientific manner. The marksman always assumed most magic rituals were chicken blood, devil summoning, and other crude acts. "I've been told you're the person to come for regarding magical weaponry?" Hector asked, hopefully loud enough for the old man to hear.
Liliana

@Enkryption, @AzureKnight


"...Aw man," Liliana said, pouting as Ian took the oar from her. "I hate ominous four-shadowing."


After arriving on Hama Island, Liliana was surprised by how...sparse it was. A lot of sand and fog, and a lot of rock, but barely any plant life at all. And there was some older gentleman swinging away on a training dummy with practiced skills...just how many super strong swordsmen were lying in wait!?

Upon hearing the swordsman's plight, Liliana would haughtily hoist her sword onto her shoulder. "Heh, with one of my spells, I bet we can get her out before they even realize she's missing! Count me in Ian!" the fairy said, already eager to jump into danger as she went to the shore, shrinking down to her teeny form. "I'll go on ahead and sneak in, then you all come with the boat and we'll break out lickety-split! Sound like a plan?"

Eula





Eula put everything she had into her running, abandoning form entirely as she rocketed forward, even using blasts from her arm to propel herself even a few feet farther, before she skidded to a halt before the gate of the temple, going so fast that she actually crashed into the middle of town, scraping along the dirt before coming to a stop. It didn't matter who would hear, so long as everyone knew. Civilians had to be evacuated. Warriors had to ready their weapons. And...everyone had to know.

"The Varjans are about to attack! Ready your defenses! Evaluate civilians! Alert your leaders! We don't have much time!" The Automaton shouted, firing a large energy bolt in the air to draw all eyes on her.

Liliana

@Enkryption, @AzureKnight


”Hiiii Ian!” Liliana said, squeezing herself free of Alice’s bosomy prison, while the sword on her back glowered at Carroll for a moment before huffily turning away…strangely now sitting vertically against Liliana’s back. Like it was glued to her. ”Is that what that was? Healing? Ohhh,” Liliana said, before flittering around Shizuka. ”Phew, that’s a relief. When I left I was sure you were going to **** and **** and then **** her right on the ****.” Liliana said, each R-18 word blocked out by a flock of seagulls. Of course, what she meant to say was: “Hug and snuggle and then kiss her right in the mouth” but comedy demanded a punching bag.

And today, that was Shizuka.

Liliana didn’t know at all what had transpired for most of the events preceding, but did know that Alice was oddly chipper about being lead stroke on the boat. ”Hi-Ho, its off to Hama we go!” the chipper fairy said, before picking up Whimsy. As if sensing the little fairy intended to use it as a paddle, the sword promptly pricked her thumb with a thorn, causing the fairy to wince and just pick up an oar. ”I wasn’t gonna Whimsy! I swear!”

Eula




There was no nice way to tell the monk that he had indeed been assaulted and robbed, so…Eula would do her best to explain this while not utterly shattering his faith in other mamono. ”I’m truly sorry but…that is exactly what happened,” the automaton said, lifting her sack of coins and placing them in the monk’s hands. ”I do not know how much was taken from you, but…I want to make it right. I should have stopped those two but I hadn’t expected…them to harm anyone,” Eula seemed genuinely remorseful, looking down at her empty hands. ”I understand you may hate yokai now. But…please, believe in me. I will help you with whatever quest those two promised, without payment. I cannot sit idly by while people suffer. And…I know that prank must have been to alleviate the boy’s worries.”

Standing, the automaton would outstretch a hand to the monk, an offer to help him up in spite of all that had happened. ”Much like humans, there are both good and bad in the hearts of yokai. …Please. Let me show you what good we can do, working with humanity.”” It was a longshot. Relica and Kerry had failed to keep their tempers, and now, Eula couldn't blame the monk if he lost his. But all she could do was try. People needed help.

They…needed her. Didn’t they?
Eula




And so, the conflict was postponed. Kerry had the good sense to leave so that the surroundings were not damaged, leaving Eula alone with the frightened villagers. It was over until Eula faced her again but...

Right now, Eula had other concerns. No doubt she'd be viewed as a traitor for going against Kerry, a senior, so...maybe it would be best to not return at all. The automaton resolved herself to this if need be, and would instead enter the house the monk was in, and would rustle through her own pouch. A small pouch of coins, cinched in a violet sack, would be laid down before him. Next, she would repair the superficial damage done to several houses, whether that was caused by Kerry's winds or not, and await the monk's awakening. In all likelihood, the villagers would still fear her for her association with the other "yokai", but...she had to believe in the monk.

He wouldn't call for help and walk to and for for a simple joke. The prank had been to alleviate the seriousness of the situation, especially in front of a child. Even a machine could tell that it wasn't the conclusion to whatever job Kerry and Relica had undergone. And so, Eula would wait for the monk to awaken after sitting him up outside of the house, seeing as the inhabitants of said house probably wanted their living space back. Eula had nothing anymore. No coin, no backup, and only one arm to fight whatever problems the Monk had away. ...But, it would have to be enough. She would make certain that the task force's reputation wouldn't be completely ruined. She HAD to succeed. As for Kerry...however that would work out was a detail for a later time.
Liliana

@Enkryption, @AzureKnight,


”...Why would you pour blood, sweat, and tears into making armor? Those don’t make metal hard…w-what else did you put in it!?” Liliana asked, growing pale as she slowly backed away from the rainbow knight. Was…was his armor made of rainbow doodoo!? And it was all someone else’s!?

“Oh hey, thanks,” Liliana said, forgetting all about the poopoo armor and giving a radical thumbs-up to the knight, before the fairy shrinked back as Alice started stamping and raving, going full soccer-mom mode! …What was soccer? Anyways, Liliana would fly behind the rainbow knight and hide behind his shoulder, quivering. “U-Um, Lady Alice, please calm down! There’s no need to escalate to full-on managerial yelling! I’m sure you’re here for some really important quest with the fate of all of Shizuyama in the balance, r-right?”

Little did Liliana know, Alice was “that kinda bitch” that really did just run to have a beach episode all on her own to escape from a very attractive grandma. How audacious!

Meanwhile, Whimsy would continue clashing without wounds against Carroll, their steel bodies causing each to merely cast sparks off of each other.


Eula

@Rezod92, @Xaltwind


Everything was-

Everything is-

[CRITICAL ERROR!]

[CRITICAL ERROR!]

EvERythING wAS…

A machine carried out its duties without question, without compromise, and admitted failure and ceased operations when that failed. Binary. Zero, one. One, zero. Failure, success, yes, no, right, wrong, right, wrong, right, wrong, error, answer, answer, answer, answer!

When Eula came to her senses and saw the monk on the ground, saw Kerry walking away with the man’s coin, and saw the fear in the young boy’s eyes as he eyed the last remaining yokai in the room…

Something broke inside of her.

”Laguna! Stop!”

“...Redundancies must be eliminated, Europa. You know this. Fundamentally, humans are lesser creatures. First them, and anyone the Masters deem as inferior.”

“That’s not true...those people…you wouldn’t kill them all! What did they do to you?”

“...I...Europa. Europa. Europa. I can’t see your face any more. So…”


Directive 1. This Unit cannot seriously harm or kill a human being, unless directly ordered by their Designated Master and given Level 6 Clearance. Unit must also attempt to protect humans if they are in danger.

A human was in danger.

A human was harmed.

Directive 1 must be completed. No matter the cost or damage sustained.

With a look of reluctant resolve in her eyes, Eula would turn to the doorway and raise her arm, before firing a bolt of demonic energy that sailed past Kerry’s head, precise enough that she would hear the buzz of its energy whizz past her ear. A warning shot. ”I don’t know a single thing about you, Kerry. But I do know that money belongs to the man who tricked us. Return it to him, or I will have to make you return it.

Eula looked deathly serious, even for an automaton. There was anger in those glass eyes, smoke coming from the hand that had just fired, and an unwavering sense that she wouldn’t back down. Reaching for her damaged arm, wrapped in a sheet, Eula would tear the sheet off entirely, exposing the damaged arm and shakily curling it into a fist.

”You will only receive one warning. And only one warning shot.”
Posted. Bow in awe of Cornelius' square tomatoes and oblong melons!
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