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1 yr ago
Current @SaltSight Game was Astlibra: Revision. Found it on sale bundled with another game I've been wanting so I gave it a shot and got like, straight indie JRPG of the early 2000s injected into my veins.
3 likes
1 yr ago
Hate that strange ennui that hits after 100%'ing a really, really good game. Good time was had, but man am I glad it can't mess my sleep schedule up anymore.
6 likes
3 yrs ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
3 yrs ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.

Bio

No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts

Hector Wyland

@Polaris North, @PaulHaynek, @AzureKnight


Cheap shots were the specialty of the day, as the now-dismembered brigand cast a smoke screen just to deck Hector in the face. Falling to the ground, the marksman would have just enough time to roll to the side, though now farther away from his gun. "I don't have time to grab it...so..." Hector would think, then act.

It was the dirtiest tactic Hector could imagine, but right now, it didn't need to be flashy or impressive. It needed to work. The oldest, most obvious weakspot on the human body: The groin. Hector would dodge the next strike from his assailant, before reeling back his left foot. His leg would sweep up in a perfect arc, before slamming into his opponent's groin...and, to add insult to injury, Hector would call out: "[Smite!]"

Every man in the area would hear and FEEL the impact of that blow, with Hector silently glad that Imre wasn't seeing him fight so uncouthly. Before his opponent could catch a break to process his shattered testicles, Hector would deliver a double-fisted haymaker to the back of his head, stomping his head for good measure. "Herne!" With a mere word, the snake inhabiting his gun would cause it to drag along the ground at a decent speed, spurred on by his command to "leap" into his hand, just in time for the twinblade-wielder to assault Hector. Luckily, Ruecian handled the two others while Hector was confident he could settle his own business, just in time for that thought to be interrupted by Einer to come barreling in to assault his opponent.

Hector was actually stunned that the man had run in to steal a fight, and was dumbfounded as gunfire signaled a shot...and he saw crimson staining Einer's clothes. Broken free of his stupor, Hector would lunge with his bayonet to finish off the twinbladed assailant, then braces his gun against the fallen foe to shoot at the marksman that had taken fire at Einer. "Hang in there," Hector said, invoking a quick incantation to cast his [Healing Prayer] onto Einer. It wouldn't fix the injury right away, but the mind-numbing pain of a bullet wound would fade to a stinging one, the bleeding at least starting to stop as Einer's natural recovery was hastened. "Be still, and try to observe around you. You're lucky the bullet went clean through," Hector said, keeping a lookout for any free marauders that were threatening to approach, with Herne's head emerging from the top of Hector's gun to look around in the opposite direction.

Hector could only hope Shavis and Ruecian could handle their opponents, while Hector sought to guard Einer and the carriage.
Vivian


@Enkryption(UMI/RCD), @PaulHaynek

"I am-" The glacies before the three started, before the most ill-mannered of them decided she was "mint ice cream". ...Mint? Was that something humans commonly ate? Were Glacies so uncommon that the hicks of the world didn't know them on sight? No matter, right now the icy dancer simply had to focus on avoiding her newfound admirer.

One step into another, Vivian would sidestep the eager canine girl, an arm gently wrapping around her waist and holding her stomach so she could stop her momentum. With a pivot, Vivian would twirl once, twice, then thrice with Umami forced along for the ride. Her touch was cool, but careful, sapping the most bare minimum of energy from Umami just on virtue of making contact before Vivian carefully spun her away from her, holding the girl's hand as she let her stand once more by her sister. "Careful, puppy. I'm colder than you might expect," she said, releasing Umami and turning to Lady Kyouko to finish her own introduction.

"I am Vivian of Lyonesse, a wanderer who has come to offer aid to this little island of your's," Vivian said, taking a slight bow to the one in charge here. "I've already aided your people nearby on the ocean. Those...Vir-gins or whatever they are called, I sliced their boat apart. That should demonstrate my aptitude. I'm a dancer by trade, but you'll find me useful." The dancer would rise from her bow, one hand resting over where the frozen monster's heart would be. "Please, allow me to stay and fight. I don't have anywhere else I can be of use."
Liliana

@Enkryption, @AzureKnight


Alice was...back to normal? Looked different? Felt...strange...but, Liliana had no real frame of reference. Liliana was so confused, she almost didn't register the genuine apology from Alice. The little fairy would blush a smidge, not at all used to Alice apologizing to...

...Well...

Like, anyone, really.

Liliana would say: "I-I mean, it was sorta...crazy back there and all, and I imagine you got pretty stressed on that boat. But, what's important is we saved the girl, and all's well that ends well!"

Or at leas it was, until they returned to Fukami Port, with the super-shiny-rainbow-jingle-shell-crab knight saying he'd answer questions, to which Carroll exploded out in a new form and questioned him. The little fairy was lost in all this magic mumbo-jumbo, but would look to Alice, given that she was Carroll's wielder. "W-Why's Carroll all different and not slithery now?" Oh, and Mr. Shiny, I only have one question! What's your armor actually made out of? It makes me hungry for oysters."



Eula



...Of course. It made sense. Eula was aware that her body was breaking down, damage gone unrepaired and stressed long enough that she couldn't even break past Kikyo to rush past her if she wanted. Eula was running on fumes, and would need to rest for days...weeks, maybe, to regain partial functionality.

No injury hurt as bad as the words that Kikyo threw at Eula though. ...Indebted...is this all her efforts would be answered with? Humans really were intimately foolish. Blind to the problems around them, blind to those who aren't them, and blind to how much the world itself seemed to love them. ...But, that was their own form of love, in the end.

"You must love this land dearly, to tolerate yokai helping, Eula said, gently moving her hand with slow, gentle care to rest it upon Kikyo's before the automaton smiled softly. The retainer could tell, the yokai hadn't an ounce of strength left in her frame, the automaton's hand falling away as Eula fell to her knees, then to the ground. "If...you wish to view this as me putting you in my debt...then here's how you can repay it. The flying hornet Yokai...if she survives this, guide her to me. ...She has unfinished business with me. W-Wi-With-With-With Me..."

With those words, Eula stopped moving in a relatively calm part of the battle, eyes shutting as she powered down temporarily. ...She couldn't do anything anymore until she was repaired. And she would save every bit of her strength for one last thing.

Meeting Kerry and "finishing" things as the Hornet had said. Eula wasn't sure if she would have to fight, but she was certain she couldn't win. Still, this was the conviction one needed in times like this. She may not agree with Kerry...but she would meet her, as ready as she possibly could be.

I arrive!
Hector Wyland

@Polaris North, @PaulHaynek, @AzureKnight


Hector puffed his chest up a bit at having his name be recognized, content that someone actually knew who he was for once. Even a minor noble enjoyed a good ego stroke now and again. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Imre, he said before bowing in kind.

With everyone inside the carriage, Hector would relax a bit, proudly adjusting his rifle's holster over his shoulder while Herne idly slithered along his shoulders, the Master and Summon enjoying a bit of a rest after a spirited sprint. The last carriage ride had been filled with lady-puke and general discomfort, so Hector was glad that he would just get to enjoy the light breeze, and sights of the countryside. Hector wasn't in the know on what Ruecian was speaking of, but, if they had to fight some sort of plague beast, Hector was confident enough that he could prove a match for it.

...He was, in essence, absolutely "feeling himself."

Then came the call from the driver for everyone but Imre to step out. A problem had arrived, and bullets may in fact be the solution! Hector would leave the vehicle with the others, staring at the gathered brigands in their veils and hoods. Their weapons seemed wicked in design, but...well, Hector had a far more wicked weapon waiting on his back. Shavis had three to deal with and Ruecian had two facing him down, leaving five to charge at Einer and Hector. "Herne!" the sniper called out, the ghost snake responding with a hearty hiss before launching itself straight at the closest of the attackers. When he would swing upon it however, he would find that the snake lacked a physical body to truly "strike", in turn meaning nothing would happen.

But that moment of "nothing" was all Hector needed to have one of the five a little bit behind. Enough distance that now, Einer and himself could handle two each, with Hector's rifle being quickly brought out with a bullet already loaded in it. "[Smite!]" Hector called out, the incantation for his Thaumaturgy complete as he fired one shot, the range making it difficult to aim, and only managing to hit a little off-center of his arm...only for Hector to see the shot continue going, the arm now having a fist-sized hole in it.

...Oh, he was absolutely feeling himself now!

"Herne! Back to me! [Self Order: Control Left Arm!]" The sniper called out, his snake diving back out from the Earth, slithering up his leg, and seemingly "diving" into his arm, the limb gaining a slightly purple glow as Herne's head poked free of his wrist. The closest brigand facing Hector would swing at him with a wicked looking scimitar, the sniper barely managing to dodge back enough that he wouldn't get slashed across his chest. He didn't have time to pull the lever for his rifle to get another shot off, so Hector would entrust a single command to Herne:

Spin that rifle by the lever. In a coordinated move only possible thanks to his spirit's help, Hector would spin the gun by his middle and ring finger to deflect another swing from the scimitar, the motion carrying just enough force to open the bolt, sending the spent cartridge directly into the left eye of his attacker while Hector moved the bayonet to slide onto the gun. By the time his assailant recovered from the brass hitting his eye, Hector would change the angle of his arm to spin the gun once more at a lateral angle, the knife-tipped barrel slicing at his opponent's sword-arm as Herne kept on spinning. However, it seemed that the bard was having trouble with his opponent. Hector had an opening, and would level his rifle at the burly axeman’s chest before firing, not channeling another Smite due to him suspecting this rifle had more than enough stopping power for a brute of his size. "Are you alright?" he called out, turning his attention back to the wounded scimitar-wielder.
Liliana

@Enkryption, @AzureKnight



After getting her eyeballs properly cleaned by some very sanitary salt-water, Liliana was still rolling around in the boat screeching about her eye pain when they arrived. Teary-eyed and squinting, she would roll off of the boat and onto the shoreline, noticing some seriously ominous laughter coming from Alice's direction.

Getting up, Liliana would approach with Whimsy on her back. "...Lady Alice? I'm um...I-I forgive you for choking me and I'm sorry about accidentally tripping you, so um...are you alright?" she asked. She'd never seen Alice like this.

Eula




Blow after blow was intercepted by Eula, until one with far more power knocked her off her feet. The killing blow was only stopped thanks to the swordsman in white and red, whom Eula had never seen before. Slowly getting up with her elbows, Eula felt as if something inside her had broken from the mace hit to her stomach. Some internals were leaking collant, some connections severed. Her internals were working to fix the damage, but that could take hours of rest to fully heal. Standing, Eula could feel her left eye growing a touch dim, some internal connection having been strained enough from her standing to make seeing difficult.

"...Why?" Eula asked to Kazenosuke's question, seeking the answer herself.

Why did she let herself be destroyed to intercept fatal blows for humans?

Why did she join a conflict, an actual war, where she would have to fight humans and protect humans?

...And why did thinking about that answer cause clear coolant to leak from behind her malfunctioning eye.

"...Mm. I think I understand myself now," Eula said, already turning back towards the fighting. Her lips curled into a slight smile as she looked back to Kazenosuke, her broken arm now dangling from the barest bits of internal wiring and cables.

"That's because I-"

"Well, its because we made her to-"

"Love humans too much to see them die."

Before she could say anything else, Eula was back in the fight as she had been, fighting to protect rather than destroying anything.
Hector Wyland





With the newfound bullets and adjusted rifle, Hector would rush headlong to the meeting place, a fair bit behind those who had already left for the quest. As such, he would be arriving a touch later, just as everyone was making introductions. A healthy bit of cardio never killed anyone.

@Polaris North, @PaulHaynek, @AzureKnight

The sniper would make his presence known as he cleared his throat, saying: ”My deepest apologies for being late! I thought my gun could do with some tuning up,” before he would bow slightly to Imre and her servant, saying: ”Hector Wyland, at your service.”
Eula




Takeshi offered two options to Eula: To go back and check on the others, or to keep on pressing the assault with the other warriors of Shizuyama. To her, the only option was to ensure that someone as significant to the region as Takeshi was for him to go and check on the situation. "You're more tactically minded than I am, Takeshi. I will make sure to break through the Varjans here," the automaton said, taking a few steps past Takeshi to rejoin the fighting.

"Oh, and..." Eula would turn back, smiling slightly at Takeshi. "I wouldn't mind learning from you, after this battle. I still have a lot to learn about humans...and I have heard people understand one another when they exchange blows. I look forward to it," the automaton said, before running off with sword in hand, wasting no time as she did what Takeshi asked of her. Her mission was to protect as many soldiers as she could, even if she herself was forbidden from lethally dispatching of any Varjans.

"Laguna? Can you hear me?"

"Of course I can, silly. We didn't give up our audio processors. Those were easy to salvage for her."


Humans were fundamentally flawed creatures. Arrogant, prideful, violent, hypocritical, cowardly, contradictory...so why?

Why was she born to love them so much?

Why did this world love humanity enough to have Monsters love them too?

Eula couldn't think of an answer, as she intercepted a lethal blow for a soldier, her stout arm parrying a Varjan axe, before a blast from her arm stunned the attacker long enough for him to be finished by another. But, even the person she just defended wasn't safe, as an arrow hit him through the eye. Again and again, Eula would save two, lose one, advance three, be knocked down, and have to stand again. It was a game of attrition, one wherein Eula was a Queen that could never take any piece on the board.

She could only bear with the reality of war. She couldn't save anybody. She couldn't kill anybody. She couldn't do anything but hope for victory from others, all while her hands were forced to remain clean of blood.

"Mm. I think...if she thinks like that...maybe the world will be kind to her. Don't you think?"
Eula




In the heat of the fighting, Eula couldn't keep up with the Varjan onslaught. She did what she could to preserve as many lives as possible while fighting her way through, but a one-armed machine could only do so much against a tide of arrows and steel. The barriers at her back would at least stop the Varjans from advancing any farther, but there was no chance for many to retreat before their time would be up.

Eula would be blind to the archer that had her dead to rights, her attention only caught as she heard the arrow he fired deflected by swift steel, Takeshi himself had rode out to engage in the fighting, and had saved the automaton from an early end. "Thank you, Takeshi!" she would call out, before facing off against the two Varjans approaching her. Being forced to nonlethality was its own sort of curse, given that Eula had 0 actual options to permanently deal with these soldiers. The warrior approaching with a horizontal axe sweep would find Eula had ducked low under his axe, far lower than a human normally could by laying her legs completely flat into a split to narrowly dodge the attack. The automaton would then firmly plant her one good fist into the soldier's armor, putting a dent in it while also sending him flying into his sword-bearing compatriot.

Once the varjans were on the ground, Eula would run over and use her one functioning stun gun to neutralize them both, then grabbing the sword-bearers weapon. She couldn't kill with it, but it made fighting against armed soldiers much more manageable. Her technique was clumsy, and in all likelihood her raw reckless strength would simply break the sword, but it was a better defense than nothing at all. With how thick the fighting had grown, she could only fight at Takeshi's side and hope that there was a way to break this siege...
Sorry for taking so long. Posted and Crowsted!
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