That feeling of falling
In the black on the way to Pelorum...
This ship, it felt strangely familiar, yet completely foreign. She walked the confined passages while in the black, making sure the refugees and students alike had what they needed. Her feet remembered what it was like on that Firefly all those years ago, and she caught herself looking for those same familiar faces. But around each corner there was no Dorian, no Vas, no Riley--and no Marisol. She even missed the big dog, Daisy, which she took on walks around the cargo bay while in the black. But that was a closed chapter in the book of her life. No matter how familiar this transport ship felt, it was not that one. She wasn't that Lyen any longer, either.
Once, she was naive about the world outside of the monastery. The ten years she had served and learned while on Santo had prepared her for a far more complicated life among the secular. If her memory of the chapter she led while on that ship had taught her anything it was this: sometimes the 'Verse has a sick sense of humor.
A double edged sword, Ly remembered, looking out through the cargo bay, as the China Doll took flight above the Blackout Zone, the feeling of accomplishment for completing her calling: free the captives. And the mixed feeling of loss at the lives she could have saved, had been able to remain. The captian of this ship appeared to be a caring man; one who understood the value of life. Had it not been for Badger's debt, though, she was unsure if he would have volunteered in retrospect. On Bernadette, the Captain offered her the option to stay aboard the China Doll; in that moment she had accepted, and joined her lot with theirs, whomever this crew might turn out to be.
That fluttering feeling in her stomach hadn't settled yet--probably wouldn't until Pelorum. In her heart of hearts, the idea of relaxing on a beach for a while felt like a welcome gail of good luck, but whether she would let herself partake in this fantasy was a whole other matter.
The ship felt empty, now, since they made birth and offloaded the refugees and volunteers on Bernadette. Only the crew remained. The crew, and a nun, it seemed. What I wouldn't do for a task to busy my hands, she thought, but the kitchen was stocked, the clothes were cleaned, even the latrines were spotless after the onslaught which was the students of OU.
And so it was that she found herself reclining at the galley lounge, stroking the feathers of a particularly preening bird with blue plumage. It clicked at her contentedly while she followed the flow of its feathers with her fingertip. At least there was something she could do; Lucky agreed.