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@Zahir Look, I don't want to sugarcoat, but off that bat I'm picking up a few issues with Tajik. I suspect english isn't your first language, right? And I won't hold that against you, but first I'm going to address the description - 'Tajik is very light skinned beautiful cream coloured skin with light, light greyish brown doe eyes. He has facial hair going all the way up to the sideburns of his hair connecting his beautiful black facial hair and head hair together' - it doesn't read very well and comes across as a bit generic, especially with 'Along with the broad shoulders and v-line body shape he carries he was born with fantastic genetics for staying skinny. As he can put on weight though it's unlike others. He doesn't have to worry about his size very much. Not a top priority.'

And for the personality section - it doesn't really tell us much about the character and again reads more like a generic sheet. As said before. Next, in regards to the 'Will be explained/shown in IC' you've added for motives/backstory: If there's motivations or elements to your character's backstory that you don't want to have out in the open, that's understandable but in that case we'd appreciate if you sent us that info via PM.

Furthermore, 'Light/Shadow Manipulation' falls under the list of restricted abilities (Darkness Manipulation, if you're looking for specifics). That's not to say that it isn't allowed, but as said before it's not something that we want in the hands of people without reassurance that there'll be some restraint behind them. 'Has hardly any drawbacks with light' isn't really what we're looking for here when we're looking for weaknesses and his limitations aren't really that well explained.

Overall it looks pretty barebones to me and far too much of a cliché.
Is Andromeda any good? I've heard enough people complain about the facial animations but, ignoring that, is it enjoyable in terms of story and gameplay?
@Utrax Works for me.




@Utrax I like Marcus, don't see any issues with him, though as for Courtney I'm inclined to agree with Allen to a point - I think the power's an interesting idea that could fit in quite neatly with her artistic tendencies (and not because one of my own can interact with magnetic fields *COUGHCOUGH*) but the backstory is a little light, maybe you could elaborate a little more on how she gained her Youtube fame? Maybe how she developed her power, too?

@Oliver I don't tend to see younger characters in RPs so, to be honest? It's kinda refreshing to see - I like what you've done, particularly after the improvements you've made so I agree with Allen on this one. Though, I gotta ask you a question - can he potentially make parrots, ravens songbirds etc to talk if he wanted to?
@tsukune also we need a character so bad that it makes everyone else look better by comparison.


I'll cook something up.

Fuck, I can't come up with a power. I've toyed with a couple of different ideas, but either they don't fit or they just push everything into a really cliché territory.
Also I hate writing biographies, but I think I have a few ideas for that part.
Anyway, expect my CS sometime in the middle of the week. I'm trying not to rush it.

Sorry if this is a dumb question, @Mr Allen J, but is it okay to post WIPs? I know a few GMS who don't allow it, so I wanted to ask before needlessly annoying you.


To be honest your bio doesn't need to be lengthy, just short but nonthelesa concise if it gets the point across. The only reason my bios have been in-depth in the past is because I'm a stickler for flavour text.

As for ideas for the power, come up with the character then devise a power for them - I've done it with one or two of mine in the past.
So my dear precious butt lumps, I'm gonna write a solo post kicking us off from Elysium. If you guys have any collabs on the go that still need to be a thing on the planet, lemme know and I'll hold off on posting until then.


Nah, Iosif has been crashing on the ship and enjoying his time in solitude.
Keyword: Shevchenko, Iosif
Location specific: Sol - Mars - Lowell City

Immediate Relatives: Father (File #M8178-C) - Vasily Shevchenko, current Director for Systems Alliance R&D Operations within the Lowell City Facility.
Mother - Nastasha Shevchenko (Maiden name Pavlychko), R&D Project Manager within the Lowell City Facility.
Brother - Artyom Shevchenko, currently Assistant Technician Supervisor for R&D within the Lowell City Facility.

Date of Birth: 20th February (Solar Calendar), 2145 CE
Place of Birth: Lowell City Medical Facility, Mars

Notes: Former Systems Alliance pilot, enlisted in 2163 CE - served in 21st Airborne Divsion. Medically discharged in 2170 CE following injury in service which necessitated amputation of Shevchenko's left arm at the shoulder, veteran's compensation covered cost of a replacement prosthetic.

Later served as freelance mercenary until altercation with colleague Jedrah Vargus (Refer to File #92348-KBE9), entered custody of Batarian slavery ring with ties to Hegemony. Sentenced to penal servitude under the Batarian Hegemonic Judiciary System as per standard procedure with Systems Alliance veterans.

Reported missing following rioting in Aratoht mining sector, suspected responsible for theft of cargo shuttle (NOTE: Reports confirm this following Sevchenko's re-emergence on Illium shortly after a vessel of the same description was reported abandoned in local salvage yard).

Possible point of leverage for assets currently operating within Lowell City and surrounding region?

Shadow Broker File 18ML-98124
Location: Mars, Lowell City, Residential Apartment A012
Timestamp: 2163CE - 03/03 (Earth standard) - 1421
Source: Personal Omni-Tool
Type: Audio Transcript
Subjects: V. Shevchenko, I. Shevchenko


Below is an audio transcript of a conversation between Vasily Shevchenko and his son, Iosif Shevchenko.

VS: "Iosif, it won't be long before the deadline for you to accept your invitation is here, I'd suggest you make the arrangements soon. Time is of the essence, here."

IS: "Dad, we spoke of this before... I'm not interested in the Academy, so why do you keep trying to push it on me?"

VS: "Iosif, this, again? Why do you torment yourself with such low aspirations, especially to become what's a glorified chauffeur - someone with your gifts, your intelligence shouldn't be squandering them so. Why do you think we've gone to all the effort to get you a place there?"

IS: "I didn't ask you to pull any strings for me, and besides, it won't be necessary any more."

VS: "Why do you say that, Iosif?"

IS: "Because, dad, I've decided that my future will be with the Alliance - and I've booked a shuttle for Armstrong Outpost in a few weeks' time to seal that. I was going to tell you and mom later, but I guess I should come clean now."

VS: "What?! Why, why, why-"

IS: "I've explained this before, yet you don't seem to ever listen."

VS: "Is that so?! Fine, explain away."

IS: "All my life, I've been staring at the spaceports, watching the shuttles arrive and depart, day after day - I remember, if only barely, when we first discovered the Charon Relay and the great expanse beyond it and I wondered. I remember all the talk of exploration and more, and I wondered. Even after the war with the aliens, I wondered. Perhaps only once in my life I've ever seen an alien face-to-face, and yet I wonder what else I'll find out there. More than what's here, there's nothing but sand and dust and old, dead ruins here and I feel like this place will suffocate me if I have to stay any longer. I am... I'm grateful for everything that you and mama have done, but I want to choose my own path in life, for a change."

There is a brief pause, along with a faint breathing sound as footsteps are heard with someone pacing around around the room.

VS: "I'm... I am-.... it's unfortunate that you feel that way, Iosif, but nontheless... you are just a boy, with a boy's understanding of the world and its harsh nature - you are blinded by these notions of yours. Myself and your mother have worked hard, all our lives, with the intent of raising you to take a greater place than us in society. If we had half of the opportunities that you have had, we would've shown our gratitude by using them to achieve our potential, not walking away from them. What of all the efforts we've made to gain you a place at the Academy, the people we've spoken to..."

An argument breaks out between the two. Some of the audio from this footage has been rendered indescernible but this commotion between Shevchenko and his elder son continues for several minutes. Eventually, they move back within range of the recording device.

VS: "I simply don't understand!"

IS: "Then let me spell it for you, dad - I've tried to be calm, tried to be easy on this, because believe it or not, you're still family and there was a part of me that cared because of that, but I'm going to say it now. You're not in this for me, you're doing it for yourselves. You and mama are as bad as each other, you just want to raise up someone who's the mirror image of yourselves. Well, I won't have it! You had your chance to live your lives, I won't do it again for you - give your gifts to Art if you must, assuming he doesn't figure he's being played too."

VS: "Fine, then. Go. Squander your potential if you must, but know this - if this is your choice, I won't support this ridiculous endeavour of yours. Don't expect me to be there to dry your eyes and wipe your ass for you if things don't turn out how you expect. I wouldn't presume to try and go behind my back with this either, your mother would agree when I say that I speak for the both of us on this matter. I'm sure your brother would gladly take a spot in the Academy in just a few years' time."

IS: "Spasibo, dad. Proshchay."

The sound of a door opening, then closing rather firmly is heard. The elder Shevchenko male mutters a few indiscernible words beneath their breath.

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