"You can try" Connor said softly, "but for Kijani, I imagine waking up without any familiar faces, waking up to nurses, to medication and to the hospital room would be worse then me being here, despite everything. She would, I imagine, believe she was being hurt, being assessed, rather then being treated. So you can try to make me leave, but I won't, not until im assured she is safe and that she is okay." He didn't give a damn about anything else at the moment, except that Kijani was still breathing. She could be mad at him. She could hate him. But he would never be sorry for it. Something had triggered this, something bad turn her to this option. And Conner was betting it had something to do with yesterday, and whatever she had read on her laptop. The most logical thing was an email. And who would want to mess with Kijani, to turn her life to this? Her grandmother was the first that came to mind. Of course, Connor could if he wished hack into her account. But he didn't want to do that. It seemed like an invasion of privacy. Still...what would cause her to choose this option? He thought back to everything. She didn't want to ruin him. Did her grandmother have something on him? If this, if her trying to kill herself was because of him...how could he live with himself? He dropped his head into his hands, and let out a breath. How could she not trust him to protect himself? He sighed, and looked over to Kijani, through the nurses.

And none too surprising Connor missed the "if" in the second to last sentence. Right now she had no intention of kicking him out. In reality she needed him here in the beginning as he knew Kijani better. There were a lot more questions that needed to be answered but those could wait. Still, his reaction was better than complatiency. It meant he cared for the girl and was probably the one she wanted assuming he could keep his head about him.

Connor didn't particularly want to speak with someone about this, but it was evident that Kagerou wasn't leaving, and expected answers. So he looked at her, and his voice was angry. "She wouldn't, unless she saw no other choice. She thinks she's a bad person, and in some demented way, she probably thought she was doing this for my own good. She's not a bad person. She's been manipulated, and made to think she is worthless, that's she's nothing, when...when she's not. When she's the furthest thing from being worthless" His voice softened, the anger sliding away.

*****

"New girl" Phoebe replied "she's nice. I know you don't want to run into Devoka, Nick. But you can't hide from her forever" she said kindky

Nicholas wrote something down on his notepad handing it back to her,"I will as long as she doesn't see me in this damn wheelchair" It said with Nicholas turning his head away form her. It was true he didn't want to be seen by anyone at the moment,Until he has recovered then he will see Devika.

Since things seemed to be somewhat settled with Jack, Estella headed to get some lunch. A lot more faces she recognized now. It was kind of like a lightbulb went off in her head. Of course it was probably from someone else which was kind of a weird thing to think about. Getting a tray she scanned the room for anyone she knew. Spotting Phoebe with the others she headed that way. At least that was someone they both seemed to know. Not having the whole speech thing down she stuck with her telepathy. "Hey guys. How is everyone doing?" Taking a seat she didn't seem to play much mind that Nicholas was now in a wheelchair.

Kijani stirred, and her eyes opened. For several seconds, it was clear that she had no idea where she was. Her eyes, which were usually bright gold, were dull and faded, unfocused. Her gaze finally fixed on the only familiar thing in the room. "C-conn..." Her mouth didn't work. "Connor..." Suddenly she realized she wasn't in hell, she wasn't gone. She was still here, and even in the last thing she'd done to take her destiny back, she had failed. "No. No- no no-nononoooo---" Starting to shake, she tried to get up. Tried to, but her body was far too weak to respond. The covers felt like they were made of lead. She started to cry, silently at first, but then she curled and sobbed openly. It didn't matter who saw anymore. Nothing did.

Connor was wary of Kagerou. He didn't know who she was, or what she could do, nor did he knew if she was trustworthy. For all he knew, she was a spy for Waller. Or magneto. Or so many others. How could he know? He shifted, watching her warily. But his heart wasn't in it. A thick weight of guilt, dread, worry and fear filled him, and it wasn't a pleasant mix. He was about to speak, when Kijani said his name. He looked about quickly, already rising from the chair, and stopped at the almost wail like no. And then he continued. He didn't know if he had any comfort left to give right then, or if he even had anything to say, and for one, brief vanity filled moment, he wished he didn't look like he'd been put through the mill once or twice. If only so he didn't seem distressed. He reached out carefully, hating to see her so upset, so vulnerable, so....broken. He had never thought to apply that to Kijani. But right then, right there, it seemed like it. So he turned from comfort, knowing that would probably make it worse. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and bowed his head. "Why?" He asked softly, after a time. "Why do this, why let them win? By doing this...but trying to k-kill" He stumbled over the words, "Yourself...you let them win. You let them prove that you were nothing. That your weak, that you just can't hack it. You let them think that, even as you think it might be taken back control. Its neither! Its a way out, yes, a way out of everything, a way out of not dealing witht the crap life brings" He let out a breath slowly. "Why didn't you talk to me? Oh, kijani" And now he moved to comfort, to soothe, as much for himself, as for Kijani. "The thing about life is that there are bright spots, bright patches that let you deal with the crap. We can figure something out, whatever is wrong enough to bring you to this" he said softly, so softly, and right then, he didn't care about anything else The fear disappeared slightly, for she was alive and awake. He took her hand, and was silent for a moment. "If you want me to leave....well, I won't. So you'll just have to deal with that." Phoebe read the note, and a rare anger filled her. "Damn it, Nicholas!! What if you are in the bloody wheelchair for the rest of your life? Are you going to be a coward and hide for the rest of your life? Better to face the worse now, then be dodging everyone for years! Do you think people will think less of you, because you're in the chair? They won't. They'll think less of you for hiding, for being too much of a coward to face them!" Seeing Estella come over, Phoebe fell silent, and sighed, taking a deep breath, she managed a smile, "Oh. Well. You know, its been a hectic morning to be honest"

Flood looked at Makoto's food and shrugged. He went to grab his own food and sat down next to Katherin. He saw everyone leave and snickered when he saw some of their bruised faces. "Heh, I beat some of those guys up earlier. Stupid bullies." He ate his food rather quickly, then looked at the ceiling. He moved slightly to the left when he saw one of his timed paint bombs on the ceiling. "How did I even get up there?"

Makoto keeping a weather ear and eye out for Phoebe managed to catch a bit of Flood's self-talk. She paused in her eating, curiosity causing her to respond. "What?" Makoto looked up, not really seeing much until she realized there was a well hidden shape that didn't quite belong. It was spherical and dark to match the ceiling and shadows, but the beams were all very straight edged. She focused her gaze on it. "Flood, do you know what that is?" she asked, squinting at the object, trying to get a better look.

Nicholas turned his head holding back crying but let a tear run down his cheek,He was crying not because she was yelling at him but she was right and that he shouldn't be hiding but it was hard for him to do so because mostly for his ego not wanting to be seen and made fun of by the other students and wanting to talk to Devika. He let out a child like moan wiping the tears form his face.

Not completely sure what was going on Estella looked at Nicholas, slightly confused. She could have sworn she'd seen him not in a wheelchair before and talking. Biting her lip a bit she decided to read his mind. Getting the surface thoughts she frowned slightly. "If they make fun of you then just tell me and I'll teach them a lesson" It didn't occur to her that maybe she shouldn't comment on the thought since he didn't say it.

Not completely sure what was going on Estella looked at Nicholas, slightly confused. She could have sworn she'd seen him not in a wheelchair before and talking. Biting her lip a bit she decided to read his mind. Getting the surface thoughts she frowned slightly. "If they make fun of you then just tell me and I'll teach them a lesson" It didn't occur to her that maybe she shouldn't comment on the thought since he didn't say it.

Nicholas looked around it seeing that Estella was around and was confused on the voice speaking to him,"Who is that?..." He thought not realizing yet he was speaking to Estella. He turned his head back and forth looking around still mute he let out a murmured moan form his mouth.

Realizing she had confused the boy with her telepathy Estella stood up and gestured to herself. "I'm sorry. That was me. I communicate through telepathy. I can't speak either." Since she wasn't making any sound or broadcasting the message to anyone else she probably looked rather odd just pointing to herself for no reason.

Phoebe let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry Nick..." She said softly, feign bad for the yelling but not for the words. "I know its not easy. But if it was, life would be...boring" she didn't know what she was supposed to do. And that made her feel useless

Realizing she had confused the boy with her telepathy Estella stood up and gestured to herself. "I'm sorry. That was me. I communicate through telepathy. I can't speak either." Since she wasn't making any sound or broadcasting the message to anyone else she probably looked rather odd just pointing to herself for no reason.

Nicholas looked around finally noticing Estalla nodding his head at her,"Oh..i see..then you can read my thought...then you must now my situation at the moment..." He said telepathically to her putting his hands on his lap,He hated looking so silly nodding his head at nothing like she was and he was a little embarrassed talking about his problems to others.

"Only a little bit. I don't want to pry if I don't have to." She took the moment to read a little deeper which cleared some things up. Scooting over so she was sitting across from Nicholas, Estella smiled softly. "Oh yeah, rough day. I'm sorry to hear all that happened to you. But it's only the first day. I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time." She had leaned forward and held out a hand as if she were talking.

"Only a little bit. I don't want to pry if I don't have to." She took the moment to read a little deeper which cleared some things up. Scooting over so she was sitting across from Nicholas, Estella smiled softly. "Oh yeah, rough day. I'm sorry to hear all that happened to you. But it's only the first day. I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time." She had leaned forward and held out a hand as if she were talking.

Nicholas wrote on the notepad and handed it to Phoebe,"I shouldn't wallow in self pity...you are right i should be more open to help my recovery" It wrote on the notepad. "Thank you i did have...a terrible day yesterday..and you might know the who and why i am in this damn wheelchair..." He communicated to her looking down at her legs sadly.

"I may just do that." Kaden said concerning meeting some of the others at the Academy. "But later, I have plenty of time now." He said with a smile. "Though I do have some interesting stories to tell you about provided you have the time. Including one instance where I was almost forced into a betrothal." He said a with a grin.

"Of course you will." They'd probably gravitate to him besides, all that moral integrity and kindness practically radiated off him. "And I'm sure I can make time for that, how traumatic for your poor partner." She teased with a grin. "Come, let's head to the cafeteria. It would be nice to eat something before having to endure Mimic."

Connor was wary of Kagerou. He didn't know who she was, or what she could do, nor did he knew if she was trustworthy. For all he knew, she was a spy for Waller. Or magneto. Or so many others. How could he know? He shifted, watching her warily. But his heart wasn't in it. A thick weight of guilt, dread, worry and fear filled him, and it wasn't a pleasant mix. He was about to speak, when Kijani said his name. He looked about quickly, already rising from the chair, and stopped at the almost wail like no. And then he continued. He didn't know if he had any comfort left to give right then, or if he even had anything to say, and for one, brief vanity filled moment, he wished he didn't look like he'd been put through the mill once or twice. If only so he didn't seem distressed. He reached out carefully, hating to see her so upset, so vulnerable, so....broken. He had never thought to apply that to Kijani. But right then, right there, it seemed like it. So he turned from comfort, knowing that would probably make it worse. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and bowed his head. "Why?" He asked softly, after a time. "Why do this, why let them win? By doing this...but trying to k-kill" He stumbled over the words, "Yourself...you let them win. You let them prove that you were nothing. That your weak, that you just can't hack it. You let them think that, even as you think it might be taken back control. Its neither! Its a way out, yes, a way out of everything, a way out of not dealing witht the crap life brings" He let out a breath slowly. "Why didn't you talk to me? Oh, kijani" And now he moved to comfort, to soothe, as much for himself, as for Kijani. "The thing about life is that there are bright spots, bright patches that let you deal with the crap. We can figure something out, whatever is wrong enough to bring you to this" he said softly, so softly, and right then, he didn't care about anything else The fear disappeared slightly, for she was alive and awake. He took her hand, and was silent for a moment. "If you want me to leave....well, I won't. So you'll just have to deal with that."

KIjani wanted to speak. She wanted to say something to Connor, anything. Explain, defend herself, even get angry. But she had nothing. All she could do was move herself until she was just barely leaning against him. Even that motion felt too much for her body to go through. "Connor.." She was speaking into his shirt. "Why..." It felt like her brain couldn't quite get her mouth to make the words. "Why are... you... still here?" It didn't make the least bit of sense to her. Connor's behavior was like a book written in a language that she'd never heard. The outside was something she knew, the contents were... unintelligible. "I... I to-told you to..." Her tears started to wet his chest. "Go."

Connor wrapped her arms around her. IT didn't surprise him that she seemed surprised he was still there. "Maybe because you told me to go, and didn't ask. Maybe it's because I know you need me. Maybe it's because of if I'd been even minutes later, I'd be burying you instead. Maybe it's because I don't want to go. And maybe it's because I bloody well love you and want to be here." He said, kissing her on top of the head, and stroking her hair, hoping to soothe. "And maybe it's all of that. But the simple fact is, because I want to be here" Phoebe just sigjed and sat down, leaning back. It had been a long day and it just seemed to be going on. She looked over to Nicholas and Estella

<Snipped quote by floodtalon> Makoto keeping a weather ear and eye out for Phoebe managed to catch a bit of Flood's self-talk. She paused in her eating, curiosity causing her to respond. "What?" Makoto looked up, not really seeing much until she realized there was a well hidden shape that didn't quite belong. It was spherical and dark to match the ceiling and shadows, but the beams were all very straight edged. She focused her gaze on it. "Flood, do you know what that is?" she asked, squinting at the object, trying to get a better look.

"Don't sit underneath it, its a timed paint bomb!" Flood yelled when he heard a ding from above. He jumped over the table and pushed Katherin and Makoto out of the way as the paint splashed all over him. He looked at them and opened his eyes. He was covered with various types of paint and colors. "I'll never understand why women take so long to do makeup. I just did it in 5 seconds."

Connor wrapped her arms around her. IT didn't surprise him that she seemed surprised he was still there. "Maybe because you told me to go, and didn't ask. Maybe it's because I know you need me. Maybe it's because of if I'd been even minutes later, I'd be burying you instead. Maybe it's because I don't want to go. And maybe it's because I bloody well love you and want to be here." He said, kissing her on top of the head, and stroking her hair, hoping to soothe. "And maybe it's all of that. But the simple fact is, because I want to be here"

Kijani wanted to cry again, but there were no tears left. A sudden lurch in her stomach sent her shoving away from Connor hastily. She dry heaved for nearly a full minute, then lay back with her face contorted in pain. Her whole body felt so empty. Trying to look up at Connor through suddenly heavy eyelids, she spoke again, her words seeming to take years to leave her lips. "...why didn't... you... let me die?"