You didn't think it was disjointed, choppy and had poor flow?

Because it reads like a massacre.

_{P.S. I'm not trolling for complements. I really want good constructive feedback.}

<Snipped quote by Blue Demon>

Only thing I should note is that the Suicide Squad were dropped inside the research facility whereas the All-Stars are dropped a few kilometers out.

<Snipped quote by FacePunch>

I didn't want to post it if no one was going to comment. :D

POS [+]

Kyle Lancaster

Thanks to Julian, Kyle arrived on time, clean and feeling slightly better. He changed into the approved uniforms and waited. He stuck close to his friend's side and tried not to physically flinch when he spotted Blondie again. And no, he didn't but Julian between them. If he was already there, it doesn't count. As John Stewart talked, and pointedly mentioned Kyle, he couldn't help the uncomfortable twist in his stomach.

Kyle was going to die. He held his breath as teams were read out and nearly cried out Yes in joy to find he wasn't on S'tann's team and was with Julian. Since this was his first time he followed the others as they went to the waiting room. It was almost exactly as some of the older kids described it. Kyle shifted on his feet nervously.

When a guy started speaking, Kyle assumed it was Aiden. Since it wasn't Kieran. He clearly listed out their objective and goals. He frowned a little as Julian got the task of deleting some drives and he was assigned to hostage duty. Kyle wanted to say something, maybe ask to switch places when the timer ran out and the door opened. In all that time Aiden didn't stop talking.

Any objections team?

Maybe Kyle would have voiced his if everyone didn't spill out into the open room and into the cold. Despite the fact they were in-freaking-doors. Even the stones themselves seem to radiate the chill that permeated the facility. A faint thought ran across his mind making him briefly wonder if they could freeze to death. But it was quickly pushed away as he watched everyone somehow know where to go.

Everyone had started to split off into different directions and vanish. Kyle sighed, his breath puffing out in front of his face. He was so going to die. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath then went to go to where the hostages were.

<Snipped quote by Blue Demon>

I'm actually going to have Kieran suggest an alteration to the plan that involves Kyle.

EDIT: If anyone still wants to give their two cents, I'm all ears. :)

<Snipped quote by Blue Demon>

It reads well, in my opinion. I reckon it's good to post.

<Snipped quote by GreenGrenade>

You are all making me frustrated. Seriously. Only Wraith was helpful. And his was a technical error.

*Walks off pouting*

<Snipped quote by GreenGrenade>

You are all making me frustrated. Seriously. Only Wraith was helpful. And his was a technical error.

*Walks off pouting*

<Snipped quote by Blue Demon>

Well, I'm so-rry that you aren't a terrible writer. Just, like, post it. We'll all flood it with likes and make you feel better. Right guys?

<Snipped quote by GreenGrenade>

Actually, that will have the opposite effect. Please don't. Please and thank you for not.

<Snipped quote by Blue Demon>

It... that... I edited it. I suck at jokes.

<Snipped quote by GreenGrenade>

Well, if it was a joke, then okay.

Sorry I kind of jumped on you.

Anyways, what @Tyler said is probably what I would have if I put more thought into it :P. So if that's the sort of feedback you were looking for, that's what I would offer up, too.

Hello again my friends