So after assessing the situation, they may have taken the situation a little too well. Instead of me getting a small laugh out of it I was sitting here looking like an awkward asshole on his first date. And now they are bringing honor in the mix?! What the hell?! If there is anything I learned from basic training, it's always look like you know what you are doing, then everyone will assume you do. "You guys want to know what I am implying? YOU really want to know?" I smiled, just to top off everything. "I am saying that..." And I froze. I was a pretty good actor... as long as everything went according to plan.

So now I am sitting here, with a blank expression on my face, attempting to look like I know what I am doing. "You know what it's not important, What is important is that will this program make me sterile? Because it just came to me that I have no idea if it will or not?" Distract from the point. If it works well the enemy is holding you at gun point it has to work on officers too right? "I mean I plan to retire someday, what if I wanted to have like... Twenty kids or some crazy number like that? Is that even possible? Because if not I am choosing between my unborn kids and my leg." Now that I thought about it, would I be able to have kids after this? Would I have to choose between my leg and my unborn kids? Hmm. Sorry Junior, you're out of luck.

Captain Brandy Carson

I had held my serious expression as long as possible. His drastic, and ridiculous, topic change was more than I could take though. Reflexively my hand flies up and covers my mouth as I start to laugh uncontrollably. I wasn't sure which was funnier, that he asked such a intimate question at such an inappropriate time or that he seemed completely serious.

I attempted to calm my laughter but it turned out to be more difficult than expected. "Well Sergeant..." I trail off and take a deep breath, my cheeks hurting from laughing so hard. "I'd assume this was one of the many things they went over with you when you were signing up for the program. Though the paperwork and warning labels seem to go on for a mile so I guess it's easy to forget some details." I continue. Leaning back I hold my coffee cup close to warm my hands and look to the young Sergeant. "The only things you loose when you Rebirth is scars, tattoos, and some dignity. Your sexual and reproductive abilities shouldn't be effected. So, assuming you can find a woman to do it with, you should be able to have as many children as you want." I conclude with a smirk.

So over the years I have learned there are many ways to get ahead in life, and many ways to completely fuck up your life. TO do either though there is a high chance of doing the other. "Please, I must insist. Call me Staff Sergeant. It sounds more... Powerful." I said with a big smile on my face. Though the Captain was right, I should have read through the paper work better. But her excuse of too much to remember works too. And the fact that I am causing laughter to a person that I was pretty sure was going to kill us all earlier I think I did pretty good to get on her good side.

Though she was right about he dignity thing, getting killed well the rest of your squad celebrates, only to come back well they point out you are the one who died. That has to suck. But hey, I feel bad for that poor sucker. I was feeling good until she mentioned something about me finding a woman, now was the moment where I could make things either so much better or so much worse. "Well you see, I happen to already have a woman of my own back home. Who happens to not only be pretty and smart enough to pay all of our bills, but she also knows how to throw some..." What was a good way to put it? "...Pretty intense parties."

SGT Azurael Winchester (Nexus)

I was onboard the ship in a rec room practising my self defense skills, although I must say a dummy is not exactly much of an oppenent but I had to make do. All I wanted was to have some-one to spar with. With this though running through my mind and not putting enough attention on my footing I managed to slip and injure my wrist. It hurt and I wasn't sure if it was broken or sprained or what. I went to the medical bay. "Hello!" I called out, cradling my injured wrist in my non injured arm.

[Alright! To save some time, because so much has already been wasted, I'm just going to do a little skip ahead. You've all wrapped up whatever dicking around you were doing on the station and have moved onto the ship for departure. The only person still on the station is Rin. After this I'll try to get a post up that is a further skip. Thanks for your patients and please keep hanging on awhile longer.]

---

Commander Rin Monroe

It had been an hour or two since I had left Justin. Our briefing had taken longer than I intended so now I was working hard to get caught up on some last minute tasks. Everyone else was already aboard the ship and tending to the assignments I had given them. As always I was aware of the people moving about in the hangar, but I didn't sense any particular danger so I didn't focus on them to much. I had plenty more important things to focus on.




I had sat back and watched from between the cargo crates to the right of the ship. They had gotten here earlier then I had expected, almost got found out I think but I had prepped a perch as soon as I had arrived so there was a place for me to fall back to. Now I just watched. I could see her plainly, she'd gone back to pink. Her team, no way she wasn't in charge here, was already loaded up it looked like and she just seemed to be killing time and getting last minute work done.

How was I supposed to approach her? Walk up to her and just introduce myself? What if she didn't remember what I look like, or sound like. What if she was angry with me for having died and left her to all this? What if she didn't love me anymore?

I couldn't sit back to find out, even if she hated me at least I'd know then and I could move on with my life. Or what was left of it. There was still no plan yet, for approaching her at least. For awhile longer I watched her go about her business, just familiarizing myself with how she moved and her expressions. Just seeing her put all the memories I had clung to in cryo to shame.

Finally I was unable to just sit inactive anymore. Taking a deep breath, I reached up and undid the clasps of my helmet. Hooking my fingers in it to carry it at my side, I drew back into the heap of cargo containers and started to make my way around the hanger to where she was, working to stay unheard and out of sight. I only wanted her to see me, who knew who all these other people were?

Commander Rin Monroe

I was leaned over a crate looking at a final ship report. I had managed to find a relatively quiet area, somewhat away from those working in the hangar. My fingers drummed against the crate as I read carefully but quickly.

My thoughts keep returning to the team. Even in just the few days we've been together I've learned so much more about each one. We've had some issues but I think now we'll have less problems. I have to keep reminding myself to separate my personal feelings from my professional opinion.

As I continue to read I let out a huff and run my fingers through my ponytail. I'm eager to leave and get the mission under way. I have the feeling that a lot hinges on this.



I hesitated, standing not to far ahead of where she seemed to be looking something over. All the worst case scenarios of how this could play out raced through my mind and for a moment I considered just staying put, waiting for them to leave, and taking off to some border planet.
But she was the only person left who I knew, who I had grown up with. Everyone else was dead and gone. So I leaned out a bit into the open, setting my helmet down and resting a hand against the crate I was using as cover as I peeked around the corner at her.
"Rin," My voice sounded weird, Im still not used to it yet. After going so long without hearing it, it's going to take me a bit to get comfortable with it again. I scowled at the way it sounded hoarse, like an ashamed whisper. Clearing my throat I tried again.
"Rin-"

Commander Rin Monroe

I hear someone speak my name. First I notice how they address me by my first name, not my rank or last name. It's strange, not many do that. At least not many of those people would be here on the station. Furthermore their tone of voice is worrisome, it sounds like they are upset or hurt. It was easy to come to the conclusion that whatever was about to happen wouldn't be good. This conclusion was made in a matter of mere seconds. Then I turn to see who was speaking.

Many things had happened in my past, most of which left me scared and jaded. I've seen a lot of good, I've accomplished some amazing things. All that though is eclipsed by the horrible and deeply painful things I've seen and gone through. The details of my life are endlessly complex and unforgettably painful, and that's why I am the way I am. People say I'm heartless, mean, unkind, even ruthless. What they fail to realize is that every time I've opened up and let myself be vulnerable I've gotten screwed over. Whenever I'm emotionally connected to someone I get fucked over, every damn time. That's the past though, and I've learned how to block it off. I may not be emotionally available anymore, but I've managed to keep my bad experiences in the past where they belong. That being said, the fact that I was unable to keep this pain in the past should speak for it's magnitude.

Surely I've gone crazy. All the stress has gotten to me and I've finally completely lost it. I think as I see who stood before me. It honestly felt like my gut dropped to the floor and my blood had all gone to my head. I was never the type to faint but I swear I was going to so I reached out and braced myself against the crate. Just when you think you've seen and experienced everything the universe manages to throw you the biggest curve ball in history.

"Who are you?" I ask as firmly as I can, my voice cracking slightly. I recognized him, how could I not? Even after all these years his face was so strongly imprinted into my mind I could never forget. He's dead though. He died a very long time ago, so why is he standing here? I know me and every other Rebirth has died and come back plenty of times but this wasn't the case with him. He's supposed to be dead, really dead. How? Why? Have I finally lost it?



I felt rooted to the spot as she stared at me, I could practically see the gears working overtime in her head to make sense of this. My throat fell dry, constricted, and doubt started to knaw away at me. Maybe I shouldn't have stepped out, I could've just left her alone this obviously wasn't a good reaction.
"You know me," I said finally, finding the effort to force the words out. "I can see it, its on your face. You recognize me, its me." Hesitantly I take a step towards her, reflexively reaching out a hand as if to steady her when I saw her take support from the crate. It was a natural movement, something I'd done dozens of times before. It was familiar and comforting to me actually. I hadn't known I still had some of those reflexes about me in this synthetic skin suit.
"I woke up,"

Commander Rin Monroe

Endless waves of emotions crashed against the walls I had built up to so desperately protect myself. His words only furthered my confusion and upset me more. I tried to keep it locked down but I knew my emotions and thoughts were beginning to show through. I'm sure anyone could notice, though if he's really who he says he is then he should definitely see it.

My reflex to reach for my gun was as automatic and simple, yet I immediately regretted it. Though it never left the holster I knew that my defensive reaction worsened the whole situation. As quickly as I could I took my hand back away from it.

"No. No. No... " I muttered and shook my head."You died, you actually died. They told me there was no sign of your consciousness, that you were completely gone." I said, my voice chopping and more nervous than I had heard it in years. "I had to tell your parents... I buried you beside your brother." my hand clasped against my forehead. "No, it can't be you. This isn't... No." I turned and started walking away. I make my way towards a room I know to be devoid of people, the whole way fighting to bring my emotions back down.



I flinched when she reached for her gun, not out of fear though. I had been on the far end of a weapon more times then I cared to keep track of. No it was because it was her reaching for it and she had been about to point it at me. Why? Was she with them maybe? Had the army reached out to other Rebirths to find their AWOL nutcase?

"You buried me?" I asked quietly, my words drowned out by her stammering. A strange thought, that I was buried on Tenish in that tiny cemetery, within arm's reach of Rich. Honestly that sounded a bit more appealing then in comparison to what I had gone through in the tube and when I had woken up. Real death sounded so nice. But now she was backing away, running from me.

With hurried and long strides I followed after her, for a moment not caring if I was seen by anyone else in the hanger as I caught up with her.
"Rin it's me," I said, struggling to find words to make her believe me. "It was a fluke, I just woke up. I died yeah, but that was me. I mean, first me the real me. Im still me but im just, different Rin wait up!" I caught her arm, having followed her by now into what looked to be an empty storage room. "Believe me please, theres no one else alive for me to talk to!" Desperation was clear in my voice and face, I knew that. These days it had been harder to master my emotions, maybe a side effect of not being able to show any for fucking forever. "Please, what do I gotta say to convince you?" Still holding her arm I search her face for something anything other then the confusion and disbelief. There was a storm of emotions there, but I couldn't make out what was winning.

Commander Rin Monroe

With every word and action, every detail of him that was once so familiar, countless memories of our life before rushed into my mind. Things I had managed to store away and never think about were now as fresh and vivid as the day they happened. It's strange how so many of the memories were once so sweet but turned bitter and painful so long ago.

The obvious question still remained, was this actually Marcus? Had someone managed to download someone else's consciousness into one of his leftover bodies? It had never happened before and is supposedly impossible. Then again the concept of someone dying and coming back at all was once impossible as well.

I have to wonder if he were someone else who would have done this and why. The UKD is always trying to find a way to screw us over and honestly the timing is suspicious as hell. If it's really him though this would be countless hopes and prayers answered. It had taken me a really long time to come to grips with his death but I don't think I ever fully accepted it.




Something snapped, why wasn't she answering? Why wouldn't she say anything?
"Damnit Rin recognize me!" I heard my self say angrily, shaking her before letting go sharply as if she had shocked me. No, no Rin wasn't one to shout at. She was on my side I thought, I needed to keep it that way. She would be a friend,
"Im sorry," I stammer, burying my face in both hands and shrinking back a step. "Sorry, sorry but I-I, I'm having trouble with this." Raising my head slightly, I peered at her over my finger tips, taking shaky breaths as I tried to calm down. Things were difficult yeah, my buddy wasn't helping either but I did my best to ignore them. How to convince her...
"Look, You remember my sanddollar tattoo? I got that cause you gave me a sandollar that one night back in the academy," I began steadily, attempting to recall memories that were personal as some way to prove it really was me. "First thing you ever gave me. And Tank, that puppy Tank we found and gave to Charlie? That was after Richard's funeral. And, and the first time I knew I loved you was after the Henry thing, and it took us fucking ages to say it to each other and that was when you were dating that ass with the fancy hair? Remember? And then the missions and stuff, no no they'd have files of that, err, oh! You were, you were..." My voice trailed off, hands having fallen back to my sides now where they twitched nervously. My eyes had moved down in time with the motion, pausing over her stomach before snapping back to her face. Maybe it had survived?
"Rin?"

Commander Rin Monroe

All I could do was to stand and watch as he fell apart. His pain and suffering cut me deeper than anything else. The reaction that had been carved into my heart was to rush to him, wrap my arms around him, and hold him till everything was better. Even after all these decades it was still like second nature. It took all I had to not give into this reaction, this desire. Did I still have feelings for him or was it just ghost emotions of what I once felt so deeply? It was to hard to tell.

I hadn't forgotten any of the memories he brought up, but to hear him recount those things to me was enough to push me over a very thin line. I chocked as tears rushed into my eyes. "Damn it." I curse myself. I tried desperately to rein back in my emotions but I only partially succeeded. Several tears escaped and rolled down my cheeks. I stammered back and lifted my hand over my mouth, my poor efforts to try and regain control.

How could anyone know those things? They couldn't. Certain people might know about several of those events but no one would know such personal details, no one besides Marcus. I drew in a long and choppy breath, gaining slightly more control over myself. "Do you remember...?" I said quietly. "Do you remember what I said when I first admitted my love to you?" I asked. My eyes stayed on him, sharp but full of pain.



"Yeah, yeah course I do!" I almost sounded hurt, like how could she believe I'd forgotten that? Everything about that day was carved in my memory no matter where it had been dragged. I had clung to Rin during my time in the tubes, needing something to just focus on other then the crippling panic and claustrophobia that took up the rest of my time.
"You said that, that you loved me but I was a million miles away. And you needed someone, and I promised I'd never leave you but I didn't have a choice Rin," I buried my face in my hands, hanging my head in shame as I sunk back against the wall. "I'm sorry Rin, I'm so so sorry. They tied me down and said you were, were dead and I just couldn't-" I couldn't find anymore words, none clear enough at least to express how awful and wretched I had felt when I had heard she had survived and I had left her. The agony at the muffled gun shot, and then the boiling red anger when they wouldn't let me leave to find her. So much tangled up, so many emotions and memories and impulsive decisions that had brought me here. And now, finally faced with her, I couldn't think of anything to say other than I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Commander Rin Monroe

One question, one answer, it won't be enough to fully convince me that it's actually him and that his story is true. The thing is I want to believe him, but my training and reasoning tells me not to. He's some I loved so much and trusted more than anyone else. The things we've been through together, the memories we share. How could I not want to believe him, to trust him? I couldn't just let my instincts go aside though. I have to keep my guard up, just in case.

I pulled in a deep breath and wiped my face off. "I'm sure you can understand why I'm not completely trusting of your story. I can never be to careful. You know that, if you are who you say you are at least." I tell him in the calmest voice I could. I cleared my throat and stepped towards the door. "Stay here, I'll be back." I glance back at him for a moment before stepping out.



I couldn't help the scowl, but I ducked my head to hide it. Instead I just nodded several times as I worked to make sure my voice was under control before speaking. "Okay, okay.". I managed hoarsely, maybe a bit bitter with disappointment. Of course I had hoped she would've believed me from the start but I had known that would've been unrealistic. " I'll wait."

Commander Rin Monroe

After I had left him I made my way to a communications console in a small office like work room. I dismissed the two officers working in there before shutting the door. It's times like this when I'm thankful for all those friends I have, or rather all the people I know that owe me favors. I made a simi encrypted call to a individual I know in the Rebirth department.



She had been gone for sometime now, and I was beginning to get antsy. I didn't like being stuck in one place for long, so I had straightened up and begun pacing. My hands were never still, jumping and clenching, on occasion my finger's snapping as I adjusted and picked at each piece of clothing I was wearing, my helmet, the walls, my gun ( A pistol I had lifted from a guard and had strapped to my thigh now) everything within reach as I waited.
What if she was calling security? What if she was turning me in? Or, or what if she was leaving? What if she had just run onto her ship with no intention of ever getting back to me.
No, no no Rin wouldn't do that. Right? I knew her better then myself, she wouldn't do that. No.
But then again, I had known her when she was 30. If the math was right, we were both 80 by now. Maybe she had changed completely. There had been a little I had managed to learn about her time while I was dead through files and rumors in the facility. But she was still Rin, right?
I couldn't take it anymore. Pushing away from the wall I had used for brief support, I quickly started in the direction Rin had gone to see what she was doing. At the last minute I remembered to pull my helmet back on, clicking it into place mid stride. I had no idea what measures were being taken to find me, but I didn't want to risk discovery so helmet it was.

Commander Rin Monroe

Luckily I had been able to immediately speak with my acquaintance and discuss the highly confidential information pertaining to Marcus's Rebirth status. They weren't fully aware of the situation but knew enough to clue me in. I could tell by their reluctance that they knew they shouldn't be telling me, but we're to afraid not to. That I couldn't blame them for. Luckily this person owed me a lot.

Wasting no time I depart and make my way back to where I had left him. The information I got helps back up his story, however I'm still suspicious. Much to my surprise when I round a corner I'm face to face with Marcus. Or rather, face to helmet. My passive and emotionless expression turns to one of irritation. "I told you to stay in the room." I growl to him as I pull him back into the private area.

I take a deep breath and glance around and then back to him. "So it seems your story checks out. That doesn't mean that I completely trust you. Because, frankly, you've been gone for 50 years..." I pause, my eyes darting a bit. I was still trying to wrap my mind around all of this. "A lot has changed. I've changed. What is it that you want from me Marcus? Why did you come after me?" I ask. It was hard to keep myself calm. It felt like I was talking to a ghost, like I had gone mad and was imagining things.



I flinched back at Rin's sudden appearance, reflex jerking my arm free from her grasp before I scolded myself into calm and followed her swiftly. At least she couldn't see the stupid hope and relief that I'm sure flashed across my face as she spoke. Even though her expression was cold and guarded, it was the words I cared about.
"You believe me!' I say in aching relief, grabbing her by the shoulders as my own sagged and I held her close. "God Rin, this whole time has been a fucking nightmare you have no idea how glad I am to hear that," it was like confirmation that I really was me. That I was actually Marcus just in a newer body. A newer fake body yeah, with a few glitches and an aggression problem. but it was me. "No one I know is still alive, Kyle bit it years ago and my parents are dead, whole old crew is gone there was just no one else I actually knew still alive. And you, damn Rin as soon as I knew you were a success there was nothing that was gonna keep me from finding you. I love you Rin, even if you don't trust me right now I do. And I, I need you." My voice shook at the end to my annoyance, betraying my instability. That is, if my actions hadn't already. I was looking at her intensely now from behind the reflective visor, feeling as if I was making up for years of having missed that face in the flesh. Even if she was practically glaring at me. I could die happy with her last expression in mind being a glare.

Commander Rin Monroe

I feel myself tense all over when he touches me. I wasn't an affectionate person, at least not anymore. Much less to a person I barely even know anymore. It just wasn't right. I knew he was hurting and confused but I couldn't allow his emotions to affect my judgment. I let out a low grumble, what might even sound like a growl, as I push him away.

Since I had managed to get a better grip on myself and my feelings I was more normal, or at least what I consider normal these days. "Don't. Don't touch me." I say taking a step back. My focus was broken when I heard my watch beep. It was time for me to go, we had to leave. "I have to go now. What will you do? You can't run forever." I said with a curious gaze.



I didn't flinch at this, but a scowl did tear across my face but with a huff I got it back under control. Lots of voices, lots of thoughts, no no my thoughts. Talking to Rin, not to them. I blinked a few times to clear my head, my vision going in and out of focus before I locked back onto her in time to hear her growl and question. Raising my hands placatingly, I took a step back with obvious reluctance Then there was panic, she was leaving. That's what the watch was for, leaving. Time to go.
"I can run," I hear myself blurt out. "Im running already, have been for a few months now. I'll keep running. My job was to not be found, Im good at it or I would've died some other way right?" Ha, awkward laughter then clearing my throat. "Where are you going? You cant leave, I just found you,"

Commander Rin Monroe

He was nervous and scared, that much was obvious. No doubt being on the run for months in a universe he no longer recognizes had taken it's toll on him. Despite the fact that he had made it this far I knew he wouldn't make it much further, not on his own at least. He was at his wits end and I couldn't just ignore that. Whether it would be the RAS who found him and locked him away or an unfortunate string of simple events leading to his actual death, I didn't know. It was unclear, even to myself, what I felt for him or even what he was to me anymore. However, the nagging sense to look after him couldn't be fought.

"I'm going on a mission. I can't tell you the details though. Not right now." I explain to him. I took a long breath and rubbed the back of my neck. "Come with me. I can't leave you here, you'll either die or the RAS will lock you up. You've already been through both of those things once so I doubt you want that again. I know you think you can run forever but you can't, not by yourself anyways. The worlds aren't what they use to be." I stepped closer to the door then turned back to him. "Come with me and when we get back I'll help sort all of this out. I'll get you what you deserve, a normal life and the right to choose. After all that's what the RAS is supposed to stand on and maybe I need to remind a few key people of that."


"I don't need sympathy!" I snapped without thought, knowing that's what it was that was moving her. No she didn't believe me, she believed who ever she had talked to earlier to confirm my story. This may have been a mistake, this was dangerous. This was a trap wasn't it!?
"Wait, sorry, sorry," Attempting to patch over any damage that remark might have made, with shaking hands I pulled off my helmet and held it in both hands gingerly. My finger tapping out a frantic beat against the sides of it I work to calm myself down with even breaths before saying,
"The RAS can't know where I am Rin, or what I'm doing. If I go with you they cant know, and when you're finished they cant know. Please, I've never begged you for anything but right now I'm begging that you just don't report this, understand?"
I hated begging, cowering, scraping, groveling whatever you wanted to call it. I was a man for crying out loud, a soldier and a killer. I was supposed to have some sort of pride in myself and look like a strong figure or some shit. But I couldn't, not on this,
"If they find me I don't know what they'll do. I don't wanna know what they'll do, but if they put me in a tube again I'm gonna loose it for good."

Commander Rin Monroe

There wasn't much I could do as he started coming unglued. It had been so long since I had to deal with him that I was in a very strange position. Not to mention how different he had become. I wasn't completely sure what all he had been through, but there was no doubt it had taken quite the toll on his psyche. This didn't make me feel any better about bringing him along, but there was no way I couldn't simply abandon him.

"Alright, alright. I won't turn you in. Not unless you give me a reason to. If you fuck me or my mission over though you will be lucky to get turned in, because what I'll do to you will be much worse." I say seriously and purposely threatening. I strongly believe in a healthy level of fear. He needs to know that he can't just walk all over me, or that if he sabotages this he'll pay.

"When we get back I'll find a place for you. Somewhere safe. We'll get it figured out, but I don't have the time to do it all right at this moment. We have to go." I say, my tone a bit rushed. My eyes had darted to my watch several time throughout this conversation, I knew I needed to get this wrapped up. "If anyone asks you are a trusted friend I added at the last moment. Avoid giving anymore information until we can sort more of this out." I explain.



"Im not though am I. Im just lost." I cant help but mutter bitterly. No hopes up now, she was talking to me like I was a green horn. an idiot. Part of me wanted to say when had I ever fucked up, and she'd have her work cut out for her if she tried to take me on. but I just shut my mouth and scowled at the far wall. it was more then anyone else had offered me, there was that at least.
"I can keep my mouth shut. Just, stop looking at me like I'm broken." I was, but I didn't need to be reminded every time she looked my way. Turning my attention past her, I looked back across the hanger to where the ship I had seen her standing by earlier was set. "That yours?"

Commander Rin Monroe

My eyes turned to the ship. I knew my team was aboard already and likely wondering where I was. I wasn't quite late yet, at least not for the schedule I lined out for our departure. However, I like to have some time allotted for unforeseen mishaps, last moment arrangements, and idiots wasting my time. All of which seemed to be a regular occurrence. "Yeah, my team is already aboard." I tell him as I start to walk towards it. I momentarily glance back to make sure he was following.

Needless to say I was questioning myself. Was telling him to come with me the right thing? Can I trust him? Was this really the man I had loved so much for so long, the man I married? Or, like me, had he been so twisted by the cruel test of time that he was now a completely different person? It all felt surreal. After all, how could something like this even be happening? This should be a dream come true, yet it felt more like a nightmare.

We had both been absent from each other's lives for so long how could we expect to just jump back into it? Perhaps that was the wrong term, considering he was dead. I don't know what that was like for him, I can only imagine how terrible it must have been. Though the last 50 years I've spent living in the real worlds hadn't exactly been a cake walk. I had lost the most important thing in the world to me, and I was forced to go on living. I couldn't even kill myself to end the misery.

As we neared the ship I saw a loading ramp still open, where supplies had recently been brought aboard. Once more I looked back at Marcus. "Everything will be alright."



I stayed quiet, my unease obvious now as I looked from the ship back to Rin. Eventually I just adjusted my grip on the helmet so I was holding onto it by my finger tips again, letting it swing at my side before stepping out after her. I still felt jumpy, twitchy. My fingers continued to spaz out on my helmet but it had gotten much better then it had used to be. I remember when I first woke up things were so uncoordinated I couldn't even hold anything without it breaking or throwing it across the room. earned me a straight jacket...
No, no no thinking about that. Wasn't happening again. instead I just focused on following Rin. She said it would be alright, I wanted to trust her. But she had already proven how different she was from what I remembered. Even if I wanted to, maybe I shouldn't just throw all my trust into this.
"You cant promise that," I sighed, feeling something like exhaust now creeping in my bones and voice. "Are you going to just stick me in a spare cabin until its convenient to talk to me? Cause if so I'd like to know now so I can just leave now." I felt wretched, not wanting to leave her. But she didn't believe me, and it was clear she didn't really feel for me. She had really changed. How different would she have to be to be turning me in right now? I faltered right before we hit the ramp, tilting my head back to look up at the ship anxiously. It was a trap, a trap laid out for me. This was either Rin or a fake the RAS had brought up to get me on this ship and back to that fucking nightmare of a facility where they'd just pick up where they left off and-
"Rin you gotta tell me right now you're not going to take me back," I wasn't ashamed of the obvious unease in my voice and the way my face paled. My knuckles turned white, gripping my helmet in one hand and the handle of my pistol in the other. "Seriously, I uh, I cant move until I hear you say it." I dragged my eyes from the ship to the back of her head, waiting for something maybe remotely reassuring from her.

Commander Rin Monroe

I stop when I hear him speak, my stride leaving me midway up the ramp. I let out an annoyed groan, this was becoming tiresome. Absentmindedly my fingers drum against my side. It was beyond difficult for me to not loose my patients and snap at him, but I knew that would only make things worse. My eyes briefly close as I attempt to get a grip on my emotions. "I won't turn you in and I won't take you back." I say plainly. I turn half way around to look at him, hand resting on my hip.

"You have about as much of a reason to trust me as I have to trust you. Not much at all. So I guess we're both taking a risk here, let's not make the other regret it." My tone was calm and sincere as I spoke. Slowly I walked back down the ramp to him. I reach out and touch his arm, but only for a moment. "Let's go."



I watched her warily as she came back towards me, eyes snapping up from her hand to her face to her hand again when she touched me. Wordlessly I nodded, stepping up onto the ramp now to follow her into the belly of the ship. My steps gradually became lighter and quieter, my feet settling down at that odd angle they always had when I was doing my best not to be heard. When I was in a combat zone. That's what this was in a way, I thought. Unknown territory with no back up, unidentified occupants and a possibly unreliable source. No clear objective. What did I have to lose at this point anyways? Why was I even trying so hard to stay alive? Because I had no idea where I'd go if I died. At least while I was breathing I had some control over that, although it was beginning to be less and less. Well, what I had left I'd fight for. That would give me something to do and to plan for other then try and shut up my friendly voices.

I took a deep breath as I stepped fully into the ship now, no longer on the ramp but on level flooring and in the shadow of it's ceiling. Come on time to pull it together, try acting like a human for crying out loud and not some Frankenstein of a former person. It was easy enough to lie, just lie a little bit more now. So I forced away the uneasy tension in my stance and made my shoulders ease back a bit. My head came up and a guarded but not exactly confident expression took up residence on my face. My eyes were still moving though, darting from every corner to every face to ever door I saw. Mapping it out, just in case right?

I woke up about to scream, my family's shotgun raised as I pointed it to the wall in my barracks. I held the primitive sawed-off in my right hand as I had my left hand on my holster by my bed side. I was shaking, the nightmares seem to be getting worse at times. I let go of my holster and pumped the old shotgun over and over until I unloaded it once more. It was another dream of home, my parents, my siblings, my friends. It was like a memory, or several mixed into one. The ones from my last combat mission... mixing with my memories from home. Was that a side effect of this program? Or was it just me scared of what would happen if we lost this war? I stood up wearing only my undergarments with the pump action still in one hand, then I set it down looking at my new leg... my new body. It felt... foreign. I was happy to have my ability to walk again, but I didn't know how I felt about being... what I am now. What was I now? Was I just a close like what Derek had said?! Were these even my memories I was thinking of?! What if they are memories implemented in my head to keep me fighting no matter what? "Dammit... Fucking dammit..." I walked to the wall and hit my head against it a few times. Trying to figure this all out was gonna be hell. We got a mission to do though, I need to rest now, and think later. I went back to bed, and reloaded the shotgun. I don't know why I loaded the modified relic, but I did. Maybe it was because it felt... familiar. It felt... Like part of me still.

Mission day, simple start, simple go to. What a day! Wake up, clean weapons, eat breakfast, practice fighting, steal second breakfast, keep working out, Double check my gear and where I am placing it (Huge issue I had in my last battle), and be ready for anything. Before getting on the ship I grabbed any gear I thought I would need. I grabbed my rifle, several mags, a nice shotgun (Not gonna take my own for a few reasons. If we're gonna go on a suicide mission I ain't losing that thing for that. And also this one is a bit more... Effective), I grabbed a small spool of copper wire, a multimeter, loose electronics including a small transmitter and receiver. I also grabbed my sidearm, only bringing the clip in the gun because if I really need to fuck someone up at point blank I got my shotgun for that. My combat knife, but that's actually for dealing with the electrical equipment more then anything. And my good luck charm for this mission, the neural transmitter from my prosthetic leg. Just as my reminder why I am gonna kick some hard ass. I threw in a few other essentials into my pack then moved out to the ship.

I set my gear down inside the ship with the exception of my small personal bag, and my sidearm. I noticed the commander and... wait... Who the hell was the new guy? Oh shit... someone fucked up I am bettin'. Command sent in a baby sitter?! Shit! Now, I had to find a way to not panic. As far as I knew I was fine but I have been wrong on this before. But watching him walk, he was definitely someone but... not someone from command. Definitely a soldier. The high ups don't send regular soldiers to do baby sitting duty now do they? Huh, could be budget cuts. "So who's Mister hot guy?" I said as the commander and the new guy came in. I figured this could go two ways. One, I make friend with this guy and I don't get a pay cut, or two I will die a painful death only to go back onto the same ship with him... It would be like being in a horrible meme...

The last few days had been mostly uneventful, which was perfectly fine by me. The less problems I had to deal with the better. It seemed the crew had been getting acquainted and might actually be learning how to work together, at least I hope.

Immediately after departing from the space station I met with Brine, my second in command, to review the members of our team for a second time. A majority of our time was spent discussing what should be done with Sergeant Eric Fenris. In our first meeting Brine had strongly suggested we leave him on the space station pending court-martial. However, after an abundance of apologies, ass kissing, and swearing to do better I decided to let him stay. It wasn't an easy choice. At the second meeting Brine expressed his concern and held by his stand that we should have left Eric, however, he respected my decision. We came to the conclusion that regardless of how he seemed to improve a full report of his dishonorable actions would still be made. Depending on how he continued to conduct himself we might demote him to Petty Officer.

We didn't have any major concerns with the rest of the team, other than how such a vastly different set of people would work together. However, Brine brought up his concern and confusion over the most recent addition to our team, Marcus. My encounter with Marcus, much less my decision to let him come along, were far from planned but I had formulated a cover story with him. "He's an old friend of sorts. A person I can trust so I asked him to tag along. He isn't exactly the type the RAS would clear for a mission like this though. He served some years ago but dropped out and became a mercenary. His presents on this mission is obviously off the books. And I expect it to stay that way. I also expect everyone in the team to honor the rank of Lieutenant I assigned him." I explained to him.

It wasn't just Brine or the team that was worried, and somewhat suspicious, of Marcus. I had my doubts and concerns as well. Honestly I probably worried more about him than anyone else, after all I'm the only one who actually knows him. Or rather, I did know him. It's evident neither of us are the people we use to be.

We had also got in contact with the spy and confirmed details such as the exact meeting location. It looked like things were finally starting to fall into place. It's a satisfying feeling.

---

In the middle of lunch Azureal called me with some urgent news. Wasting no time I made my way to the bridge. I hadn't expected good news but what she told me wasn't what I was expecting either. It was a distress signal from a civilian transport ship who was moving refugees across the boarder. Azureal confirmed their transponder code was authentic. However, we couldn't get a clear radar read on the ship because it was right in the middle of an asteroid field. It made me uneasy, but I couldn't just ignore it. I ordered Chris to alter course then I went back to lunch with the others.

When I walk in I scan the room to be sure everyone is still present. I clear my throat then speak up. "Alright, slight change of plans." Once everyone got quiet and seemed to be paying attention I continued. "We picked up a distress signal from a civilian transport ship near by that is transporting refugees across the boarder. I can't ignore a call for help like this and we have a little extra time so we've redirected our course to them. The ship is in the midst of an asteroid field though, so radar is practically useless. I'm not fond of going in blind but we can't pass by without at least trying to help." I explain. I shift my stance and take a breath.

The days had dragged by for me, full of a few to many curious people for my liking. Questions and curious glances. out right suspicion and hostility from some, not that any of it made me feel self conscious or anxious. it was just exhausting. Before, when I had escaped, my interactions with strangers had been minimal. Consisting mostly of directions or bumped shoulders. This was so much more taxing, I had to actually talk to these people (Not very much granted) and get along with them. Attempt to fit in, or at the least get out of the way when things started rolling. They all thought I was a Merc, a gun for hire thanks to Rin's cover story. It was a good one, didnt mind it. If anything it sort of helped me feel less like an object belonging to the military science and research branch. I appreciated it.
Most of my time I either spent in the small room I had been issued studying current events and catching up on rest. When not in there, I was either in the armory or the gym learning how the latest models in sniper rifles functioned and getting back into some sort of routine when it came to working out. Routine was comforting, it was a laid out plan that happened every day without fail. It gave the voices less opportunities to cause me to doubt.

Currently I was in the appointed mess hall, hunkered in a corner studying the 'food' I had been dished with a frown. It, looked like food. Tasted kinda like it, certainly smelled like it. But it was missing something, and try as hard as I might I couldnt put my finger on it...Then Rin, or the Commander, marched back into the room and made an announcement.
"Is their only cause for distress the asteroid field?" I asked eventually, sitting up a bit and resting my elbows on the table. It was hard to stumble into one of those, not that it never happened, but I couldnt help but be a bit paranoid. I wasnt as bad off as I had been when I had first tracked down Rin but it was hard to shake off a mentality like that.

So it has come to my attention that I may be a hoarder. As I remove the mattress from my bed I realized two things. One, I need a thicker mattress, and two, I have collected so many personal arms with a few arms from the small arms locker that it looked like a private armory. With two different types of combat shotguns and my own, several pistols, some blades, and even a carbine. And to top it off an old scoped rifle. It wasn't really much compared to our own sniper rifles but it had sentiment to me. I was ready for war without leaving my own bed. Even though most were civilian issued, I would still feel bad for the poor bastard that got laced with buckshot from any of those shotguns.

I heard the announcement about us going to save a civilian ship. I had mixed feelings about this. Yes, I am all for saving the civilians, but this close tot he border it smells like a trap. If it was me, I'd capture a civilian ship, and either fill it with explosives or some kind of virus. A virus that would take days, if not weeks to kick in. That way it would reach an outpost or a base, or more crew. Then use the potential cure or vaccination to gain better support if things got out of control. But that could be paranoia on my part.

I grabbed one of the shotguns in case combat did spark inside the stranded ship. Truth be told I would be against a mission like this, but I am not. These border runs were a lot cheaper for some people to travel, people like me and my family would use them all the time to gain the supplies we needed. On that ship were people like him, like his family, like his friends, people like him who are just trying to make a daily living. "Let's just get that ship going again. Then finish this damn war."

I walked into the bridge the shotgun resting in one arm leaving my other arm free to salute the commander. I wanted to bring up my concerns before we started our mission. Mainly because dying of coughing up my lungs sounded like a bad idea. Or by zombies. I mean we technically are so if I head one person say it's not possible I will shoot them int he fucking face to just prove them wrong. "So before we enter this ship we know so little about? What precautions do we plan on taking other then our standard issued gear?" I put the shotgun over my shoulder now. I didn't want to step out of my place as Staff Sergent to my commander, but I have had soldiers in my past unit who have dealt with situations like this. That was part of the reason I was kinda scared.

SGT Azurael Winchester (nexis)

My wrist was still in a splint from a few days ago but that did nothing to hinder me from my job. I had a duty to the ship and her crew. I had delivered the news to Rin and I now waited at my station. My headset on and my hands ready to work with the comms and sigs equipment in front of me. Lunch was the least of my worries now.