Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Unoedipal
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@KoL
Give the conditions under which the Charisma minus is and is not considered. IE, Mordred can only exhibit her true Charisma during REBELLION.

Just having Circuits and a fire affinity won't give you a flame-affinity Prana Burst. Examples that we have of it are Karna who's whole shtick was "fire", Arjuna whose bow was given to him by Agni, and Bryn who had a sordid love affair with fire all around her on a pretty extensive basis on top of being a Valkyrie. You don't get buffed as a Servant outside of Class Skills, the Servant's just a nerfed copy of the Heroic Spirit, and the Heroic Spirit is you in your prime + historical distortion and legend crystallization. Unless there's some legend of El-Cid doing crazy fire stuff that could be crystallized as a Prana Burst, I'm going to have to say no. If there is something like that though, source it and you might be okay.

For the NPs, please explain how the legend links up with them instead of just giving the effects. An NP is a crystallization of feat, so say what feats and legends are being crystallized in those Noble Phantasms. I'll evaluate the NPs properly once that's done.

Noble Phantasm Parameter


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Turboshitter
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<Snipped quote by Turboshitter>

Well, like I said on the last page, things are on a rolling basis so there's not really slot claiming. Moonman's Rider app, while not approved, is nearly done, so you can get the Rider slot but it'll require getting approved before him. KoL's also been working on a Caster, which has not yet been approved.


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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Unoedipal
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@Turboshitter
I-I'd actually recommend you do a different class so Moonman's work doesn't go to waste. ;;
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Turboshitter
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SORRY CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HOW FAST I'M GOING

*Turbo remembered he's been waiting forever for an opportunity to use this Servant*
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Moonman
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Made the needed adjustments and finished the personality section, so I suppose that means I'm done.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by KoL
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@Unoedipal

Made the edits you required. Please take another look at my CS.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Turboshitter
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I gotta go to work soon but this is what I've got done so far (personality is blank because I usually overdo it and write a shit-ton, but I don't have time for that right now):



Sorry for all the fuss but Khutulun is one of my all-time favorite historical badasses/women warriors and I've been waiting forever to use her in a Grail War ^^;
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Unoedipal
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Made the needed adjustments and finished the personality section, so I suppose that means I'm done.


Yes, you're approved.

@Turboshitter, I'm really sorry especially since you obviously really want to play this character, but as it is, Moonman made his final edits before you posted your character, and there are a couple of things I'd need you to change/clarify on your CS before I approved it, so unless you're able to persuade Moonman to change classes, you won't be able to be Rider.

Again, I'm sorry, but it's unfair for me to do anything else. I'll try to help you as best I can with getting a different app together.

@KoL
Didn't notice the modifier on LCK earlier. Please give a justification for it.

On Tizona, change the Type to Anti-Mind. B++ is also definitely too high, as that's just a step away from being equivalent to Divine Spirit Thaumaturgy and, while El Cid was good with psychological warfare, it's not enough to justify something at that sheer scale. A flat B rank should be the maximum.

On La Colada, I'm confused as to why a duel to the death is crystallized as a curse that lowers parameters, since the parameter lowering seems to be something based around the post-fight, whereas the point of a duel to the death is that there is no post-fight. If anything, it seems like it should be something more similar to Ath nGabla.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by KoL
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Unoedipal
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<Snipped quote by Unoedipal>

Since I won't have time to make the actual edits now, I'll just ask about them and change it later, once I'm able to.

- Noted, but could you at least let me have one + modifier, to use under the described circumstances? I don't think it will be so common as to make her OP or anything like that.

- Maybe a small bounded field that forces a foes to fight El Cid one on one with no option of retreat or refusal, and during the duration of the field, El Cid is treated as having A rank STR? Or being able to do one C rank attack that works under the same mechanics of Gae Bolg, which represents his skill as a warrior?


That's fine, but keep in mind that the cost of using it will rise as well.

I don't see how you'd get causality reversal from "fought a duel to the death". You can just do something like Ath nGabla instead of making it a Bounded Field, and say that STR is treated as rank-up during the engagement. You could make it a Bounded Field instead, but since we've already got something similar in canon, I don't see any harm in modeling it after that.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by KoL
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@Unoedipal

Sure, I can go with those changes.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Turboshitter
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*sighs* Alright. Not the end of the world I guess. There's an Archer from the same "badass warrior women" list of mine that I've been meaning to use, so I guess I'll go with her. Out of curiosity, what changes would you have had me make? It might help with my next sheet.

Also, I know Artoria Lancer is out, but anyone who apps Tamamo-no-Mae or EMIYA will also have my eternal love and adoration (just slightly less of it lol).
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by kusanagifire
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Hmm. I think we need more master cses lol.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by KoL
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@Unoedipal

I beg you pardon, but it seems that I'll have to resign this for RL related reasons. I got a new project in college that will eat away my time, so I won't be able to keep up with your frequency demands. I can come back once the coast is clearer, but got the time being I would like to not disrupt your efforts.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Unoedipal
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@KoL Depending on how often you'll be on, I'm fine with extending the 24 hour limit. That's why I said to let me know about real-life difficulties, after all~

If you don't think you'll be able to post any faster than, say, once a week, then that's probably too much though.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by KoL
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@Unoedipal

No, once a week as maximum between posts is manageable. I'll keep online all the time, it's just that I can't compromise on posting within a day. But every couple days or three days is possible as well. This is usually the same time frame from the other RPs that I'm in, do that I can safely alternate between them.

In any case, I'll finish Saber once I'm back home, but I'll leave the Master CS for some time up to the weekend, since it requires much more thought than simply tweaking a Servant.

Since you are willing to be more flexible I see no reason to quit.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Unoedipal
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@Unoedipal

No, once a week as maximum between posts is manageable. I'll keep online all the time, it's just that I can't compromise on posting within a day. But every couple days or three days is possible as well. This is usually the same time frame from the other RPs that I'm in, do that I can safely alternate between them.

In any case, I'll finish Saber once I'm back home, but I'll leave the Master CS for some time up to the weekend, since it requires much more thought than simply tweaking a Servant.

Since you are willing to be more flexible I see no reason to quit.


Alright. As a rule of thumb, if a post you need to reply to comes up, I'll give you some leeway on replying given your situation; though, I would like it if in such instances you could send me a quick PM just saying "I won't be able to reply for a bit", since that makes it a bit more fair on my end and less like I'm handing out special treatment. I won't make it mandatory, but it'd be appreciated.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Hinsek
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Thar be a zerker sheet for approval.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Turboshitter
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Question. Is the Second Owner a Master we can app for?
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by Unoedipal
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Question. Is the Second Owner a Master we can app for?


She's an NPC that I'll be playing, you can see the information about her that's publicly known in the OP.

EDIT: I misread. No, she's not a Master. She's just hanging out in her castle and eating cereal.

@Hinsek

So the soul of the Kalevide flew down from heaven like a bird, and was bidden to reanimate his body; but the might of all the gods, and even the divine wisdom of Taara, could not put his legs on again. Then they mounted him on a white charger, and sent him to the post which had been assigned to him at the gates of Põrgu.
When the Kalevide reached the rocky portal, a voice was heard from heaven, "Strike the rock with thy fist!" He did so, and clove open the rock, and his right hand was caught in the cleft. Here he sits now on his horse at the gates of Põrgu, watching the bonds of others while bound himself. The demons attempt unceasingly to soften their chains by heaping up charcoal faggots around them, but when the cock crows at dawn their fetters grow thicker again. From time to time, too, the Kalevide struggles to free his hand from the wall of rock, till the earth trembles and the sea foams; but the hand of Mana holds him, that the warder shall never depart from his post. But one day a vast fire will break out on both sides of the rock and melt it, when the Kalevide will withdraw his hand, and return to earth to inaugurate a new day of prosperity for the Esthonians.


He's still alive, so he's ineligible. I'm sorry.

If you can find a different account of his legend that doesn't make him still alive, I can evaluate him though.
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