@ClocktowerEchos@Pair of Hearts@LHG100@ADParis

Nichijou is the best anime! :D

Nichijou is the best anime! :D

Y'know that's like saying "Lung cancer is the best terminal disease"

@ADParis
Puns are the beh-h-h-st.

<Snipped quote by NuttsnBolts>

Y'know that's like saying "Lung cancer is the best terminal disease"

In The Binding of Isaac, Cancer is a power up... Along with Fetus in a Jar, E-Coli and Rotten Baby. :)

@ClocktowerEchos@Pair of Hearts@LHG100@ADParis

Nichijou is the best anime! :D

Nah.

This is a longish rant and quite personal. But sometimes I get really depressed I don't have a significant other. And that I'm not a lesbian. Because it would make my life so much easier.

And here's a little context. I'm Asexual and I'm "sex-repulsed" I guess. I don't want to have sex. But I'm not ignorant about it. I just have no desire whatsoever to engage in that activity. I once heard it described as licking eyebrows. Everyone talks about it. Whom licked whom's eyebrows and how everyone wants to do it. You understand but you have no desire to do it. I could but I'd rather not. Anyways, I'm also a straight woman. Which means I'm attracted to men only. I've only recently come to terms with my asexuality. It was/is a hard road. My family doesn't understand it. They keep telling me that when the right man comes around I'll love sex and can't wait for it. Or something to that effect. And to be honest the idea wasn't appealing at all. Sex? With a guy? I tried to picture myself married. Even as a little girl I just couldn't. I always mentioned I wanted to get married when someone asked because it was expected.

In high school I though that maybe I was lesbian. Perhaps that was what was "wrong" with me. Perhaps if I liked women I'd be somehow normal? I literally spent a few weeks looking at women in my school and online trying to see if I'd feel anything. Nada. At that point I came to the conclusion I was straight. Despite trying to picture myself living/having romantic relations with a woman, it just wasn't happening.

My senior year of High School was hard because I felt different. All my friends were dating and doing it. And they all loved it. And I couldn't care less and it bothered me. Badly. I tried talking to my mom about it and she just told me the right guy hadn't come along yet. Just wait. She advised. One day you'll want it. She promised. It left me feeling lost and confused. How could I change so drastically over a guy? Who was this woman I'd become upon meeting this ethereal man? Would I like her? Would she be someone I wanted to be?

And so I continued to struggle until the who LGBTQ movement started happening in College. At first I ignored it. It didn't effect me. It was just another facet of sex and I wanted nothing to do with it. I had no problems with the community. If there was a petition passed around to help I'd sign. I went out and did a few campus "activists" events but it was distant from me. And so the months trudged on. Then one day (I don't know why) I was surfing the web and discovered the term Asexual. And everything just clicked. I cried at the realization. There wasn't anything wrong with me. But I couldn't completely accept it.

Instead I tried it out with other people. I'd casually mention it and they'd go "Na. You're not. You just haven't meet the right guy". And so while it felt right I was still really confused. It wasn't until a few years later, one fail relationship later, I became confident in what I was. I was asexual. I didn't want my (ex)boyfriend like he wanted me. It took me even longer to allow that I wasn't sexually interested in anyone. After getting bombarded with it every day and in nearly every conversation I wasn't capable of it. So I tried to make myself want sex. Basically I read lots of erotica and even tried writing it. But it never felt right. It was a chore and I didn't particularity like it.

It was only this year that I allowed myself to come to terms that I'm "sex-repulsed". Again, not that I hate sex, I just don't want it. (I really wish I had a better word to describe it). Unfortunately when I came to this conclusion I came to another one. I did want to get married. I just didn't want to have sex. And the sad conclusion is that because I am straight I'm probably never going to find a guy who doesn't want sex. Or if I do it'll be later in life, at the age of 60 or older, when the sex drives diminishes.

And I get pissed that society doesn't acknowledge people like me. There's no way to meet guys who feel the same as me. Who are willing to love me for who I am. And that just makes me depressed too. And another thing that makes me mad. That I'm not a lesbian. Because I've meet far more women who are "sex neutral" then men (because I've never meet a guy who didn't want it). If I was a lesbian I could have a partner who would stay with me and support me. Because I want romance. I want to have candle light dinners, I want to hold hands. I want basically everything but sex and kids. But that's apparently too much to ask. And it pisses me off almost as much as it makes me sad.

Rant over.

I'll openly admit that I am a salty gamer. I get a fair bit upset in team games when my team performs like absolute garbage and I get even more upset when I know I didn't help matters in the least. Now with that being said:

*#!$ these incompetent, ungrateful *#!$ers in Overwatch. I keep saving their god*#!$ingdamn asses with Mercy or Zenyatta. I suffer through spazzy Reinhardts who can't keep their *#!$ing shields aimed at the guns right in front of them, causing me to die. I suffer through Reinhardts, D.Vas and Winstons charging face-*#!$ing-first into the entire enemy team while they're supposed to be defending something, leaving me all by myself because following them in there is just about the most braindead thing you could do as a squishy little Support. And I make match-saving plays with my ultis.

What do I get in return?
"hurr durr reaper had 10 elimination streak so cool vote him to legendary"
Meanwhile, your friendly Support is left with no love :'(

... Not that it'll deter me to stop playing Mercy or Zenyatta. At least I know what I did.

Edit: Garbo Hanzos. Please stop playing Hanzo and expecting to get a Pocket Mercy for some pigeon shit reason.

@Blue Demon
As you said, you're asexual, not aromantic. There's nothing broken or imperfect or "wrong" about it (regardless of what people claim), and I wish I had more duplicates of me to show you real unconditional love with one of the copies, but sadly I can't. The deets about my gender also hinders our could-have Notebook-level romance.

It's okay to not want sex. I remember having an asexual boyfriend who told me, "I hope your esteem doesn't nose dive into the water after hearing my confession. I really, really like you. But the thing is, I'm asexual. Sex doesn't entice me. Porn doesn't arouse me. Dirty talk does nothing for me. But I really like you." I'll stick an arm out and assume you are in a similar boat as he. That time, I accepted it wholeheartedly (we broke up for an entirely different reason), thus I strongly believe you too will meet someone who loves you for your very self deeply and irrevocably.

I also don't believe all men are after sex; as your family and friends said, "You just haven't met the right guy." Although, in my opinion, you just haven't met the right guy who just wants nothing but your TLC. Wishful and dreamy, maybe, but for all we know, you'll bump into a great guy who turns out to be a lonely asexual too tomorrow while picking up groceries (heh).

@Blue Demon Yeah fam what @Gray Linings said, you just need more patience and shit. Hell, I'm a dude and sometimes I feel the same way, and I'm not a special snowflake at all. You'll find somebody.

@Blue Demon It's kind of funny, when you get into that particular stuff. Because it can always get into the weeds. Sort of a slippery slope, or denying one and accepting the other. Kind of thing. If you actually want me to explain that I can. <.<

But in general, though it's a very, very small minority, and it's very likely environmental persuasion. Yes, people who are "straight" but are also asexual. Exist. It's only "weird" because it's not a common thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with basically being the direct opposite of a sexually desperate individual.

As @Gray Linings said, you can find someone attractive and maybe desire a closer connection, but the act of sex itself doesn't seem remotely appealing. I frankly think relationships in general are a little too reliant on how damn horny people are, and it doesn't surprise me that practically all romantic relationships are completely frail and eventually die.

Now you give yourself the term sexually repulsed, but I don't think I'd use that as a blanket statement for asexuality in general, but maybe I'm wrong, and maybe your saying that personally. But my question for you, if you'd be willing to answer it. (hopefully not too personal) If you had a significant other, and you cared for them enough, would you have sex with them if they asked you? It's basically doing things you don't like, to please the ones you love. Or would you still refuse?

@SleepingSilenceTo answer your question. Yes, if it meant that much to them but I'd probably (most likely) resent them for it. Which would destroy the relationship because I feel that strongly about it.

As for saying I'm straight vs. no preference it's because I do not think of women in a romantic sense. But I can with men.

Overwatch.

I found your problem.

You should buy a ticket to the Zone instead.

My teachers are fucking up my grades really bad, and my summer vacation is in two weeks. My mom is pissed at me even though it's not even my fault. It's mostly my Portuguese teacher, she just loves seeing me stressed.

My teachers are fucking up my grades really bad, and my summer vacation is in two weeks. My mom is pissed at me even though it's not even my fault. It's mostly my Portuguese teacher, she just loves seeing me stressed.

Can we play Pass the Buck? I like playing that game. I don't get to take ownership for anything.

@Dinh AaronMkCan you explain to me what Pass the Buck is?

@Blue Demon Alright then. Interesting enough. I suppose repulsion is a good word for it then. I mean I'm sure people that seem to desperate or come off too strong, will generally upset someone. Though I meant for on a casual level, like equivalent to your significant other asking to go shopping with them for 3-6 hours (or some other tedious thing, that one may find uninteresting.) But I assume the answer would be the same.

@Dinh AaronMk Vagueness aside. It would be better to say specifics for that certain instance or it will sound a little silly. I literally have had teachers force me to succeed less and have personally attacked me and my grades despite them not listening to the required law. As entitled as "this person is making me do this" when only you can make you do anything, is usually the first thing that crosses your mind. Note that its entirely possible for teachers to screw you/and your grades over and it not being the student's fault in anyway. But solely on failing to do their jobs.

I'll give you two examples.

1. I was on an IEP in middle school, ('Individualized Education Program') which was something the school legally had to follow, (and never did) Basically it involved my writing looking like chicken scratch due. So when taking tests, every answer was right, but I lost points, usually failing only due to teachers saying they were unable to read my writing...Problem? They we're legally required to give me a laptop and let me type my answers. It wasn't that damn hard to accommodate such a thing, hell every single fucking classroom had a PC of some kind. But, grades still suffered for that stupid reason, something entirely due to teachers/and the school failing to do their jobs. I often had teachers berate my parents and me, not believing I couldn't just 'write' on my own. One particular being a possible pedo teacher that rumored to touch other girls asses but I digress. Also this school system I went into literally a decade later was in the papers for trying to fuck with another kid with mental disabilities. Had stuff in the past too. So, wasn't just targeting of me. (for once hooray) But anyone under the 'special need' banner. So maybe that school has a LONG running history with bias. An outlier prehaps?

2. Well...next school (high school) pulled very similar crap but this time, it literally only had to do with me and my friends. How can I make that bold statement? Well, I moved to a ghetto school, which sadly was less awful then the school I previously left. Where most students weren't exactly the most hard working and intelligent bunch. Actually in one of teachers own words, the reason they gave us and only us a hard time was because we we're likely the only ones going anywhere. However, some of their "tough love" was more that the teachers had a problem with me. Because I seemed to actually be genuinely smarter than some of them.

Just for some more information, it was a computer school, where all courses were online. One English teacher, noticed that in 8th grade, I was already so far ahead in my English course, up to college level stuff. What did she do? She blocked it...She (a teacher) stopped me from learning and progressing in school. Wasn't able to go farther, what was her reasoning? (Aside from bitch that didn't like me for whatever reason.) She told me, that I wasn't far enough in math and that I should be doing that instead. Now I can literally fucking assure you, she never did that to anyone else. Nor did it even last very long, because I got the one teacher that liked me to bypass it anyway. Because the literal whole point of the school, was to "go/learn at your own pace". And she was completely contradicting that, she never actually helped me progress, and only stopped me from doing my work.

There's is so much more to this school holding me back, that it would go on forever and it's still amazing that I was able to graduate 6-7 months earlier than the average high school student.

And actually there's more examples I have period. So when a person says. "Teachers are screwing their grades up." I frankly tend to believe them...

@SleepingSilence
Something tells me those teachers had unresolved issues.

@Pair of Hearts

One particular being a possible pedo teacher that rumored to touch other girls asses but I digress.

What gave you that crazy idea? :P

But seriously, though I'm fully aware how lazy student/parents can get. And that it can be 100% their fault too. I know sometimes it's not the teachers fault at all, but one of the higher up's/administrators. (My mother and brother both teach and have masters in it and they're actually good at their jobs.) But I was just showing how the opposite could be true. The horror stories, I'm aware of from school, borderline on straight up illegal activities that take place. XP

My geometry teacher would often just play World of Warcraft in class after he put up the assignment on the board.

I think that's why I never did well in math classes.