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Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Yog Sothoth
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yoshua171 said
This seems to both mess with continuity in terms of there being a "demon" with which a contact can be made, though we'll have to check with Ouro on that, and it doesn't have enough specifics regarding the power of the flames themselves, which is further specified below in the rest of the review.


i just edited my jutsu list so it gives you an idea how hot the techniques are. also the thing about the demon is not proven to be true, it is just a legend so it can be believed to be ether true or just a myth.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Yog Sothoth
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Beta said
Not without edits. Combining two natures in such a way to make a single jutsu is either a Dual-Element KG, or a collaborative technique requiring more than one ninja. So unless he magically has two Kekkei Genkai, These jutsu in particular will need to be removed or edited significantly.


well i turned them into just fire techniques, but if they seem too powerful then i can remove them.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Sloth
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Yog Sothoth said
i just edited my jutsu list so it gives you an idea how hot the techniques are. also the thing about the demon is not proven to be true, it is just a legend so it can be believed to be ether true or just a myth.


Wouldn't that have happened in recent memory considering the Sage has only been dead for a few decades? There has to be someone in that clan that knows the truth.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Yog Sothoth
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Sloth said
Wouldn't that have happened in recent memory considering the Sage has only been dead for a few decades? There has to be someone in that clan that knows the truth.


didn't we also run into a timeline issue with the Uchiha being an established clan, and just decided to ignore that?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Sloth
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Yog Sothoth said
didn't we also run into a timeline issue with the Uchiha being an established clan, and just decided to ignore that?


An established clan with like...five members?

Minemoto: First Hokage, Eldest Son of The Sage, has two kids.
Sangan: Minemoto's son, has at least two sons.
Jin: Youngest Uchiha and Sangan's son.

If that makes them some well established clan then the Bushou must be ancient.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Yog Sothoth
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Sloth said
An established clan with like...five members?Minemoto: First Hokage, Eldest Son of The Sage, has two kids.Sangan: Minemoto's son, has at least two sons.Jin: Youngest Uchiha and Sangan's son.If that makes them some well established clan then the Bushou must be ancient.


So the Uchiha in this rp are only five members? Okay then I guess a little more editing is needed.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by yoshua171
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Perhaps six since I'm considering/working on the third child (who I believe is the middle sibling, and the only daughter).

Durnehviir said
lol. What degree of burn would someone get if they came into contact with fire?I didn't realize we needed to specify what fire does to a person. I'm guessing everyone with Fireball techniques needs to elaborate because, clearly, stating it is hot enough to be an ignited energy source is not specific enough. In any case! Ouro should post in Uzu!


It's the same as asking someone to define how much damage a technique will do on average. It is necessary, at least in my opinion. So no, generally it is not needed, but since "Hell fire" is incredibly vague and just goes to say its "more powerful than normal fire" which is on its own vague, it needs to be defined.

Also, there are some rather tame flames in the world. Like candles for example and yes I understand that fire jutsu is typically, if not essentially always, more impressive than a candle, it is still a valid point.

Hopefully that is a satisfactory explanation.

@Yog: Temperatures seem fine (as you described them), thank you. I'll glance over the others later as I was merely glancing at the thread before returning to what I was doing. Ciao.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Sloth
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yoshua171 said
Perhaps six since I'm considering/working on the third child


No, it's Azuchiha that makes it five.

Minemoto: Progenitor.
Sangan: Only Son
Azuchiha: Only Daughter
Jin: Younger of the Sangan Sons.

BOOM. Five. Exactly.

I just mathed your ass.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Durnehviir
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yoshua171 said
Perhaps six since I'm considering/working on the third child (who I believe is the middle sibling, and the only daughter).It's the same as asking someone to define how much damage a technique will do on average. It is necessary, at least in my opinion. So no, generally it is not needed, but since "Hell fire" is incredibly vague and just goes to say its "more powerful than normal fire" which is on its own vague, it needs to be defined.Also, there are some rather tame flames in the world. Like candles for example and yes I understand that fire jutsu is typically, if not essentially always, more impressive than a candle, it is still a valid point.Hopefully that is a satisfactory explanation.@Yog: Temperatures seem fine (as you described them), thank you. I'll glance over the others later as I was merely glancing at the thread before returning to what I was doing. Ciao.


If you hold your hand over a fire, whether it be over a candle or a stove, you will develop second degree burns.
Fire is fire. If its even hotter than your common day Fire Ninjutsu, which will severely burn you upon contact, it's fair to assume that they will be able to greatly burn you.

I don't think it's necessary to elaborate on something that, albeit stated vaguely, is self exclamatory.
It's like saying "It's very hot" and you needing an exact temperature. If you had that exact temperature it wouldn't' change anything. It'd still be really hot.

Don't ask for unnecessary details when offering critique in an application.
If you wouldn't give those details yourself then it is unwise to ask for them.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by DaDrummer676
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Well said, Durnehviir!
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Durnehviir
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Shhh. I'm drunk.
And just posted.

Come at me, my precious Genin.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by IVIasterJay
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Uh, about those five Uchiha... My genin is an Uchiha himself, and his bio implies that there are more.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Sloth
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IVIasterJay said
Uh, about those five Uchiha... My genin is an Uchiha himself, and his bio implies that there are more.


While I know Muyo was made before the Alpha males Skype group decided to actually hash this sort of stuff out, I can't help but think that some of you guys aren't exactly adept at maintaining continuity, or well, reflecting just how young the shinobi clans are in this universe.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Durnehviir
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Ur mom, Sloth.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by IVIasterJay
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I can edit his bio so that it was just his father attempting a power play. That would only add Muhi Uchiha and his dead father to the list of Uchiha, and Muhi/Muyo doesn't really count.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Sloth
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Durnehviir said
Ur mom, Sloth.


Ur dad, Durn

IVIasterJay said
I can edit his bio so that it was just his father attempting a power play. That would only add Muhi Uchiha and his dead father to the list of Uchiha, and Muhi/Muyo doesn't really count.


Why must there always be an abundance of Uchiha even in an RP where there'd logically only be like, two of them with sharingan?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Durnehviir
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Sloth said
Ur dad


:' (
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Salroka
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Sloth said
While I know Muyo was made before the Skype group decided to actually hash this sort of stuff out, I can't help but think that some of you guys aren't exactly adept at maintaining continuity, or well, reflecting just how young the shinobi clans are in this universe.


Sloth said
Why must there always be an abundance of Uchiha even in an RP where there'd logically only be like, two of them ?




+1 Point
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Seraph
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Lots of OOC, nothing important. Here's my Tsuchikage application, reviews pl0x and thnk u :3

Name: Aizen Shimura
Alias: Konton no Shisha (Messenger of Chaos)
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Rank: Second Tsuchikage
Appearance:
Personality: The first thing most notice about Aizen is his vice of smoking cigarettes. He enjoys a few each day, and even incorporates them into his fighting style. He is well aware of the dangers tobacco presents to his health, though he has never been one to really want to live that long. He's done his time here on earth, the heavens are waiting for him... but these damn kids need to be put in their place first!

Taking into account many of the newest generation will be well aware of the war, but none have yet participated in one, Aizen views the world as peaceful even if it is called anything but that by its inhabitants. Aizen fought during the first war and received many battle scars from it, taking away from it the experience and lessons of suffering that come with it.

He scoffs at danger and grins in the face of war, Aizen is most comfortable in any situation. It takes much to discomfort him. He enjoys dissecting the personalities of those around him and situations he finds himself in alike, and then forms his own opinions and judgments of things based of his observations.
Village: Konohagakure
History/Background: Aizen was born in Iwagakure a Fire Release user of great skill. He was inclined to become a Shinobi at the time due to the spread of the profound knowledge of the Sage. His family was very wealthy and paid some of the most skilled early Shinobi teach him in the ways of Ninjutsu. He was very diligent in his practices and graduated the Academy at the top of his class.

His life took a drastic turn when he was drafted into Iwagakure's army during the war at only age ten. A ten year old was fighting a war, it was absurd. Yet anyone with Ninjutsu capabilities was utilized in some way, and his Fire Release was powerful for a Genin. He was taught the basics of Earth Release by his Iwagakure comrades during the war itself, here he learned basic tactics to move the earth for defense and hide within it, as well as making earth-based traps for enemies. It came easily to him do to the fact that he was surrounded by Earth Release ninja of his own country... and if he didn't learn it quickly he would die.

The war lasted six long years for Aizen which left him battle-scarred and rugged. He viewed the world a different place, one where battle was necessary for personal and national survival. He viewed the wealth in Iwagakure as temporary, something that could be taken from them. What could not be taken from you were your beliefs or values, something that needed to be instilled in people.

He came out of the war at age 17 a new Shinobi. He was promoted to Chuunin for his efforts by Iwagakure and trained with the first Tsuchikage due to his talent with Ninjutsu. With his help Aizen was able to master three elements, a feat not any ordinary Shinobi could do at this point in time. After mastering Wind, Fire and Earth, Aizen was not satisfied. Instead of learning a fourth element, he believed it was possible to mix the elements together to form a more potent release without the need for a fabled Kekkei Genkai, a genetic trait that Aizen was not fortunate enough to be born with.

From here he trained vigorously trying to combine one element with another to no avail. He became discouraged, he could not find any combination among his three elements that blended together for him, until he realized that the blend of his three chakra was already inside of him, in his own essence. At this time he came to the realization that all substance of the world was made of similar basic particles bound together to form the world that came to be around them. In this sense, he attributed the combining of his three natures to the control of these basic particles, and began viewing each of his three chakra natures as a singular particle in order to form a molecule of chakra based on his three natures.

It took many years of practice with this principle in mind but by age 21 Aizen had founded the basis for Dust Release. By age 26 he had created several techniques and was well-adjusted to his Kekkei Tota which was followed by a promotion to the Kage's personal bodyguard. The first Tsuchikage was an elderly man who had fought through the hardships of the first world war, and saw that the war had hardened him into a powerful ninja with a good head on his shoulders. The Tsuchikage revealed to Aizen that he had been suffering with a terrible illness since before the first war ended, and his time was short. Appointing Aizen his successor to lead Iwagakure's new generation, he died a year later which left Aizen with a wealthy country and a people in need of guidance after war.

Aizen looked toward the future and sought power for his country. From age 27 to his present age of 37 Aizen has been mastering his Kekkei Tota while rebuilding his country from the war and carefully watching the other Kage come to power as well. He studies the political landscape often and is eager to begin diplomacy in the name of Iwagakure.
Tools: Explosive tags, smoke bombs, kunai, shuriken, flash bombs, two twin kodachi
Chakra Nature: Wind, Fire, Earth; Dust
Kekkei Tota: Jinton; This nature allows the user to manipulate molecules, Aizen not only has the ability to disintegrate them but reform them into other substances as well.
Special Traits: Invented the first Kekkei Tota, that's special, right? He is also a very fast Shinobi even by the standards of Kage, and has an incredibly resilient body. He has exceptionally enormous chakra reserves capable of handling his heavy arsenal of Ninjutsu. His chakra control is on point as well. Aizen is an extremely aware individual of his surroundings at all times, however at times this leads to paranoia.

Jutsu
Flight Technique
Detachment of the Primitive World







Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Sloth
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Seraph said Name: Aizen


Sosuke? Is that you?

said Appearance


Damn Yona must've gotten his sperm out there. Two characters look just like him.
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