Welp, here are my reviews! Hopefully I'm not too much of a hardass ><
@RaijinslayerErm, so basing her attack on thought will denote whether or not her invisibility breaks... or is it when she is about to attack? I feel this can be sort of a loophole abuse since she doesn't have to think I'm going to attack but just attack without a single thought... or am I getting this wrong somewhat?
I also feel like the CQC isn't much of a weakness since she has a shotgun to off put this flaw. Since she can maneuver around with her briskness and acrobatic abilities, it nullifies this part of her weakness. Also, never missing a shot... It looks like she can cover long and short range rather well.
Anyways, figure out a way to nerf her appropriately and then I'll judge her again.
@RekaiganAlright, so far I have no complaints nor any qualms about her so far, other than the name. Can you explain to me what part of it is a color as I might not understand it and be completely oblivious to it.
@Leslie HallI wonder how he came to afford the expenses for living outside of Atlas... or was he like 16-17ish when he fled? If that seems to be the case, I can only hope that he found a job because I'm gonna assume his parents aren't sending him money xP
Once you answer the above, your character can enter stage right, he can bask in the limelight of being one of the characters in the roleplay.
@tanderboltThanks for the explaining the significance of that name, it makes my life a lot easier. Also, that is one old as hell looking student :P
Ozpin wants Mr. Adkins to join Beacon Academy! Sign up today at your local character tab today!
@floodtalonI hope everyone isn't just going to use a basic name for their chary.
Anyways, the Midas Steel kid is good to go for now.
@NecroKnightEven with the emotional reactions and constant focus, she feels somewhat overpowering. Quick hard attacks, speed isn't inhibited, and can easily close the distance if she can move briskly. While this does make her lack any ranged options, all she just needs to do is concentrate on keeping her semblance up and watch her allies in a group fight. While some semblances are stronger in singular combat or against multiple opponents, I feel there will be no tangible weakness unless you know her secrets or if she watches someone she loves get hurt. The latter can be nullified since she is strong and fast, along with nullifying damage.
If I'm incorrect on any of these, please correct me. Until then, I would say to nerf this semblance.
@Mr Allen JNo. And I mean no in a serious way. I mean, you copied and pasted the story that was in the previous roleplay you used him in and certain characters won't exactly exist during this time, i.e. Amber Echo, Jing-Que Xue, and Bran Brass. Along with that, it's Beacon xP
I know these details are minuscule but if you could correct these, he should be good to go.
@gohKamikazeYou have some of the same problems as Allen involving the backstory. I'll start with the minor part involving the minor name of the antagonist in your charys story. Is Felix Princeton a name based on color some how or no? If the answer is yes, ignore this bit. If the answer is no, could you change it to something a little more fitting?
One of the more major parts is him graduating from the Shade Huntsman Academy. I would say get rid of the part where he decided to attend Shade and rework it so he ends up attending Beacon since that's the setting of the story.
Fix those, and you should be alright.
@TheWindelJust a minor thing you need to fix to be well off, though I am still questioning the "Not-Kirito" nickname. It feels forced in my opinion, but that's not part of this judgement. The roleplay setting is taking place in Beacon Academy, not Atlas.
I should probably add that statement somewhere in the op... Anyways, fix that, and you should be good to go.