<Snipped quote by Silver Fox>
Pets dying, especially close ones like cats and dogs, is very hard. I understand exactly what you are going through.
I've always loved my pets very much. I remember when I was really young, I had a guinea pig, named Speedy Houdini (because he knew how to escape of the cage, and we would have to chase him around to catch him. That lil' guy could move) I loved him so much, when he died one day, my family held a little funeral for him just to help me deal with it. I remember that I cried the whole time. We buried him in the roots of a tree out back, and my dad hung up a homebuilt swing in honor of him. We no longer live there, but to my knowledge, that swing is still there.
I've had many pets since then, and I can remember every one of their names, what they looked like, and how they acted.
I suppose my point, while cliche, is this: He may no longer be alive, but you still have your memories of him, so he will always be with you.
@Silver Fox
Oh. That's what happened.
I know what you must've been feeling. We put down our 14 year old dog a few years ago...I got to hold him as they did it. Then I lost my grandmother like three days later. Still went out and played in the hockey grand final we managed to make it to and we lost that just to really add some extra hurt into that week (though that was the least of my problems)
All in the days leading up to my birthday. Yay. My parents then tried everything they could to avoid putting the funeral ON my birthday. Not that it mattered in the end as I didn't go to my grandmothers funeral as I was away for school hockey (I made the decision to go regardless). Not that I would've wanted to go to one the day after my birthday anyway. So spent my birthday losing the school hockey finals :P
Still finished 7th in the state but all in all was a very crappy first two weeks of September. The very next year lost my great aunt around that some time -_-' (My family now hates September and calls it cursed, to which I give them a brief response of fuck you too :P)
Crap things always seem to come at once just to kick you while you're down, but all you have to do is get back up, dust yourself off and come back stronger for it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger after all.
Hardships are part and parcel with life. How you deal with them makes you who you are. I reckon you'll be fine by the end of all this, just gotta keep fighting mate :D
My god words of wisdom from me? what is the world coming to!
Thank you both for the kind words.
I know that I need get up. But it isn't easy at the moment. Suppose it's better then the first night at work. He passed just before I woke up and getting ready for work. 4 hours. Working. Sobbing straight. Eventually just had to go home cause at the point I was staring between my work knife and my wrists and the longer i stayed the darker the thoughts.
He wasn't the first to go in my life, but he was the first body I saw.
My cat who passed a few years ago wasn't here with me when he got put down. But didn't get to say goodbye. At the end of his days, he stayed at my grandparents, his birthplace. But his liver failed and could no longer digest food. So he was just starving to death. Had to put him down to put him out of his misery. Back then, I wanted them to wait so I could go over there, mom made the call to end it though.
Had a few kittens died at my mothers boyfriend place who lived in another state.
My black cat disappeared last year if anyone remembers that.
This time though, I saw my dog slow. A couple days before he went, we went for a walk and he just fell on his side. I thought he would go then. I called him and sat beside him petting him. Then he got back up like all was fine.
Then I woke up one day, took a shower to get ready for work and dad came and told me 'Vulpix passed away.'
Went down stairs and heard mom talking to the vet to order a cremation and saw him lying there. Like he was just resting like normal.
Mom and dad had just returned from being out of town. It was like he was waiting for the right time to pass away when we weren't looking, but close enough so all of us would be there.
I thought I would be fine. Told myself I was prepared. Death was natural. Toughen up and move on. That didn't seem to happen though ..
When you have no other siblings, and these were your only playmates your entire life, it's hard. It really was like having a sibling. Got jealous when mom payed more attention to the younger sibling, teased and played with him.
Now to just brace for the sister dog to go too. She didn't realize. Now she is though. Taking it better then rest of us but she's come to the realization that he isn't coming back.
Then... In the household the animals will come from 4 to 1.