OK, just remember its a small, fits in the palm, book. its supposed to have been a fae gift to the original sleeping beauty and would resemble a book of hours with illuminated pages.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_hours
Also, LeoricAquila, I liked your post but it was hard to follow the dialogue between several characters in a big blocky paragraph. I wouldn't bring it up in Casual but since we are in advanced, I am. Every time dialogue opens, it starts a new paragraph. For example:
should really write out more as:
A great, raucous laughter filled the brothel as Jack, Harry and Rebecca entered the den of debauchery together.
“Oh! And dear god, did you see his face?! He was all ‘Where’d all th’ cash go?’ While you’re running down the street with what musta been about a dozen sacks of cash and coin! I tell you Harry, if I didn't know you so well I’d say you were a master thief!” Jack burst out in laughter as he paraded his group of friends to the entrance to the Guild Hall.
“Evnin’ Paul, how about we catch a drink sometime, ‘ey old chum?” Jack spoke as he brushed off his drenched shoulders and shook his wet, shaggy hair. It was a great night, he was already drunk, alongside of his friends and he still had a fresh palm print across his cheek from his night of trying to snag a pretty girl into his bed for the night. “Ah, what’s the point, you never move too far from this door anyhow. You just be a good guard dog and watch for any miscreants, other than myself of course.” He loved to joke with Paul, loved to see how far he could push the man. Jack wondered how he’d fair in a bout of fisticuffs with the old brute, but then he remembered the last guy who tried and quickly straightened up.
“Well that’s enough of that, any word that I’ll be getting past you? Or does Snow still have that stick up her ass about me? Lovely gal, she… I’d love to get her between my sheets if you know what I mean. Don’t ya Paul? She’s a right beauty she is, and boy the things I’d do to her if I could just- Ahem… I got to be a professional, see; I’m part of this here esthabilshment and… oh my, Harry! Catch!” He shouted as he collapsed backwards into Harry’s waiting arms, laughing in his drunken stupor.
“Sorry for that Paul, Jack had a might have had too much of the whiskey tonight and may have had his block knocked off by a proper lady. Can we uh, get him to his room now? Becky, grab his damn legs already, he’s too heavy for me to drag around, the ass can’t seem to keep settled for one night after a successful ‘job’. I swear it’s like he thinks he’s some sort of genius.” Harry spoke as Rebecca moved around Harry to grab Jack’s legs.
“Yea, see, this is about where I want to see you, Becky. Right there. Right in between me… oh no…oh no… Oh!” Jack sputtered as he shook his head. “Alright that’s enough, the room is spinning and I’d like to get off. Harry! Rebecky! To my room! HYAH!” He shouted with a drunken laugh as Rebecca shook her head at his comments.
So that breaks up dialogues. Paragraph 2 is one dialogue statement, paragraph 3 has dialogue on both ends but they rather run through the same moment of speaking, so it works. Paragraph 4, he sort of moves on into another topic (Snow). 5 changes who is speaking and needs to be its own paragraph, and then it switches again at 6. So it breaks up that large paragraph and makes it easier to read and understand who is speaking. :) I hope I am not coming off as a bitch, I just had to speak up because I was struggling with following the dialogue. Which is a shame, because Sawyer is an amusing character!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_hours
Also, LeoricAquila, I liked your post but it was hard to follow the dialogue between several characters in a big blocky paragraph. I wouldn't bring it up in Casual but since we are in advanced, I am. Every time dialogue opens, it starts a new paragraph. For example:
LeoricAquila said A great, raucous laughter filled the brothel as Jack, Harry and Rebecca entered the den of debauchery together. “Oh! And dear god, did you see his face?! He was all ‘Where’d all th’ cash go?’ While you’re running down the street with what musta been about a dozen sacks of cash and coin! I tell you Harry, if I didn’t know you so well I’d say you were a master thief!” Jack burst out in laughter as he paraded his group of friends to the entrance to the Guild Hall. “Evnin’ Paul, how about we catch a drink sometime, ‘ey old chum?” Jack spoke as he brushed off his drenched shoulders and shook his wet, shaggy hair. It was a great night, he was already drunk, alongside of his friends and he still had a fresh palm print across his cheek from his night of trying to snag a pretty girl into his bed for the night.“Ah, what’s the point, you never move too far from this door anyhow. You just be a good guard dog and watch for any miscreants, other than myself of course.”He loved to joke with Paul, loved to see how far he could push the man. Jack wondered how he’d fair in a bout of fisticuffs with the old brute, but then he remembered the last guy who tried and quickly straightened up. “Well that’s enough of that, any word that I’ll be getting past you? Or does Snow still have that stick up her ass about me? Lovely gal, she… I’d love to get her between my sheets if you know what I mean. Don’t ya Paul? She’s a right beauty she is, and boy the things I’d do to her if I could just- Ahem… I got to be a professional, see; I’m part of this here esthabilshment and… oh my, Harry! Catch!” He shouted as he collapsed backwards into Harry’s waiting arms, laughing in his drunken stupor. “Sorry for that Paul, Jack had a might have had too much of the whiskey tonight and may have had his block knocked off by a proper lady. Can we uh, get him to his room now? Becky, grab his damn legs already, he’s too heavy for me to drag around, the ass can’t seem to keep settled for one night after a successful ‘job’. I swear it’s like he thinks he’s some sort of genius.” Harry spoke as Rebecca moved around Harry to grab Jack’s legs. “Yea, see, this is about where I want to see you, Becky. Right there. Right in between me… oh no…oh no… Oh!” Jack sputtered as he shook his head. “Alright that’s enough, the room is spinning and I’d like to get off. Harry! Rebecky! To my room! HYAH!” He shouted with a drunken laugh as Rebecca shook her head at his comments.
should really write out more as:
A great, raucous laughter filled the brothel as Jack, Harry and Rebecca entered the den of debauchery together.
“Oh! And dear god, did you see his face?! He was all ‘Where’d all th’ cash go?’ While you’re running down the street with what musta been about a dozen sacks of cash and coin! I tell you Harry, if I didn't know you so well I’d say you were a master thief!” Jack burst out in laughter as he paraded his group of friends to the entrance to the Guild Hall.
“Evnin’ Paul, how about we catch a drink sometime, ‘ey old chum?” Jack spoke as he brushed off his drenched shoulders and shook his wet, shaggy hair. It was a great night, he was already drunk, alongside of his friends and he still had a fresh palm print across his cheek from his night of trying to snag a pretty girl into his bed for the night. “Ah, what’s the point, you never move too far from this door anyhow. You just be a good guard dog and watch for any miscreants, other than myself of course.” He loved to joke with Paul, loved to see how far he could push the man. Jack wondered how he’d fair in a bout of fisticuffs with the old brute, but then he remembered the last guy who tried and quickly straightened up.
“Well that’s enough of that, any word that I’ll be getting past you? Or does Snow still have that stick up her ass about me? Lovely gal, she… I’d love to get her between my sheets if you know what I mean. Don’t ya Paul? She’s a right beauty she is, and boy the things I’d do to her if I could just- Ahem… I got to be a professional, see; I’m part of this here esthabilshment and… oh my, Harry! Catch!” He shouted as he collapsed backwards into Harry’s waiting arms, laughing in his drunken stupor.
“Sorry for that Paul, Jack had a might have had too much of the whiskey tonight and may have had his block knocked off by a proper lady. Can we uh, get him to his room now? Becky, grab his damn legs already, he’s too heavy for me to drag around, the ass can’t seem to keep settled for one night after a successful ‘job’. I swear it’s like he thinks he’s some sort of genius.” Harry spoke as Rebecca moved around Harry to grab Jack’s legs.
“Yea, see, this is about where I want to see you, Becky. Right there. Right in between me… oh no…oh no… Oh!” Jack sputtered as he shook his head. “Alright that’s enough, the room is spinning and I’d like to get off. Harry! Rebecky! To my room! HYAH!” He shouted with a drunken laugh as Rebecca shook her head at his comments.
So that breaks up dialogues. Paragraph 2 is one dialogue statement, paragraph 3 has dialogue on both ends but they rather run through the same moment of speaking, so it works. Paragraph 4, he sort of moves on into another topic (Snow). 5 changes who is speaking and needs to be its own paragraph, and then it switches again at 6. So it breaks up that large paragraph and makes it easier to read and understand who is speaking. :) I hope I am not coming off as a bitch, I just had to speak up because I was struggling with following the dialogue. Which is a shame, because Sawyer is an amusing character!
