Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by wonderlandalli
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wonderlandalli

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OK, just remember its a small, fits in the palm, book. its supposed to have been a fae gift to the original sleeping beauty and would resemble a book of hours with illuminated pages.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_hours

Also, LeoricAquila, I liked your post but it was hard to follow the dialogue between several characters in a big blocky paragraph. I wouldn't bring it up in Casual but since we are in advanced, I am. Every time dialogue opens, it starts a new paragraph. For example:

LeoricAquila said A great, raucous laughter filled the brothel as Jack, Harry and Rebecca entered the den of debauchery together. “Oh! And dear god, did you see his face?! He was all ‘Where’d all th’ cash go?’ While you’re running down the street with what musta been about a dozen sacks of cash and coin! I tell you Harry, if I didn’t know you so well I’d say you were a master thief!” Jack burst out in laughter as he paraded his group of friends to the entrance to the Guild Hall. “Evnin’ Paul, how about we catch a drink sometime, ‘ey old chum?” Jack spoke as he brushed off his drenched shoulders and shook his wet, shaggy hair. It was a great night, he was already drunk, alongside of his friends and he still had a fresh palm print across his cheek from his night of trying to snag a pretty girl into his bed for the night.“Ah, what’s the point, you never move too far from this door anyhow. You just be a good guard dog and watch for any miscreants, other than myself of course.”He loved to joke with Paul, loved to see how far he could push the man. Jack wondered how he’d fair in a bout of fisticuffs with the old brute, but then he remembered the last guy who tried and quickly straightened up. “Well that’s enough of that, any word that I’ll be getting past you? Or does Snow still have that stick up her ass about me? Lovely gal, she… I’d love to get her between my sheets if you know what I mean. Don’t ya Paul? She’s a right beauty she is, and boy the things I’d do to her if I could just- Ahem… I got to be a professional, see; I’m part of this here esthabilshment and… oh my, Harry! Catch!” He shouted as he collapsed backwards into Harry’s waiting arms, laughing in his drunken stupor. “Sorry for that Paul, Jack had a might have had too much of the whiskey tonight and may have had his block knocked off by a proper lady. Can we uh, get him to his room now? Becky, grab his damn legs already, he’s too heavy for me to drag around, the ass can’t seem to keep settled for one night after a successful ‘job’. I swear it’s like he thinks he’s some sort of genius.” Harry spoke as Rebecca moved around Harry to grab Jack’s legs. “Yea, see, this is about where I want to see you, Becky. Right there. Right in between me… oh no…oh no… Oh!” Jack sputtered as he shook his head. “Alright that’s enough, the room is spinning and I’d like to get off. Harry! Rebecky! To my room! HYAH!” He shouted with a drunken laugh as Rebecca shook her head at his comments.


should really write out more as:
A great, raucous laughter filled the brothel as Jack, Harry and Rebecca entered the den of debauchery together.

“Oh! And dear god, did you see his face?! He was all ‘Where’d all th’ cash go?’ While you’re running down the street with what musta been about a dozen sacks of cash and coin! I tell you Harry, if I didn't know you so well I’d say you were a master thief!” Jack burst out in laughter as he paraded his group of friends to the entrance to the Guild Hall.

“Evnin’ Paul, how about we catch a drink sometime, ‘ey old chum?” Jack spoke as he brushed off his drenched shoulders and shook his wet, shaggy hair. It was a great night, he was already drunk, alongside of his friends and he still had a fresh palm print across his cheek from his night of trying to snag a pretty girl into his bed for the night. “Ah, what’s the point, you never move too far from this door anyhow. You just be a good guard dog and watch for any miscreants, other than myself of course.” He loved to joke with Paul, loved to see how far he could push the man. Jack wondered how he’d fair in a bout of fisticuffs with the old brute, but then he remembered the last guy who tried and quickly straightened up.

“Well that’s enough of that, any word that I’ll be getting past you? Or does Snow still have that stick up her ass about me? Lovely gal, she… I’d love to get her between my sheets if you know what I mean. Don’t ya Paul? She’s a right beauty she is, and boy the things I’d do to her if I could just- Ahem… I got to be a professional, see; I’m part of this here esthabilshment and… oh my, Harry! Catch!” He shouted as he collapsed backwards into Harry’s waiting arms, laughing in his drunken stupor.

“Sorry for that Paul, Jack had a might have had too much of the whiskey tonight and may have had his block knocked off by a proper lady. Can we uh, get him to his room now? Becky, grab his damn legs already, he’s too heavy for me to drag around, the ass can’t seem to keep settled for one night after a successful ‘job’. I swear it’s like he thinks he’s some sort of genius.” Harry spoke as Rebecca moved around Harry to grab Jack’s legs.

“Yea, see, this is about where I want to see you, Becky. Right there. Right in between me… oh no…oh no… Oh!” Jack sputtered as he shook his head. “Alright that’s enough, the room is spinning and I’d like to get off. Harry! Rebecky! To my room! HYAH!” He shouted with a drunken laugh as Rebecca shook her head at his comments.
So that breaks up dialogues. Paragraph 2 is one dialogue statement, paragraph 3 has dialogue on both ends but they rather run through the same moment of speaking, so it works. Paragraph 4, he sort of moves on into another topic (Snow). 5 changes who is speaking and needs to be its own paragraph, and then it switches again at 6. So it breaks up that large paragraph and makes it easier to read and understand who is speaking. :) I hope I am not coming off as a bitch, I just had to speak up because I was struggling with following the dialogue. Which is a shame, because Sawyer is an amusing character!
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Asura
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Not gonna lie, this concept is probably the most interesting one i've seen all month. :p

Is there anything I should know before making a sheet? A particular kind of character we need? I'm also assuming I need to make my character based around a fairy tale, huh?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Valeric
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If you want to balance the scales, I feel like we have an overabundance of ranged characters. Fairy tale descendants aren't an absolute must but it is the theme.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Asura
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Valeric said
If you want to balance the scales, I feel like we have an overabundance of ranged characters. Fairy tale descendants aren't an absolute must but it is the theme.


That's a relief. I'm kinda hard pressed to find a fairy tale I like then adapt it properly to a character. I'm sort of looking forward to a very cloak and dagger stealth kind of character. So I'll likely go melee with maybe some ranged form of support like throwing knives or a crossbow.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Valeric
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You could just very loosely base it off something. Even just the name would be cool.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Azena
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@Wonder, yep you're free to describe the book and all. I just wanted to have it come from Merlin. Also, thanks for breaking down Leo's post. It was a little difficult to follow, but I didn't have time to go through it myself so you saved me that trouble.

@Asura, glad to see your interest. Storybook characters are the focus and will be the most used for NPCs. However, I am being lenient with the players. For example, Jack "Sawyer" is based off the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Tom Sawyer. Not a fairy tale, but still an iconic story character which qualifies. If you're not sure, feel free to run ideas by me in PM. I worked with Leo to come up with Sawyer. And Val is right, a close-range fighter will be valued.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Valeric
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Oh, Azena. I was wondering why I kept getting confused whether Snow or Ellie was talking in your posts, and I just figured out why. You don't actually use "....said Snow/Ellie", or any variant of it. Don't you think it would be better to include them? I know your dialogue is usually followed by the actions of the person who said it, but it's not as clear, especially when you're handling multiple characters.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Azena
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Ya, I've never been a fan of "so-so said" or color-coding and crap like that. I prefer to gather it from context in the description. I can try to make it more clear from now on and if you're ever not sure then you can ask.

The biggest clue is how they speak. Snow is rather harsh and aggressive, while Ellie is caring and calls people dear a lot.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Valeric
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I think there's a reason that most books do it. It takes a bit of rereading to be sure of who's talking.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LeoricAquila
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LeoricAquila AKA Draxis

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I like sawyer as well and I am a fan of constructive criticism. Ill make a point to edit the post in question and future posts. I used to aspire to being a writer... then life, wife and child snapped me into reality and said that I needed to do something more reliable. Im sure once time rolls over to the next day, jack will be a mostly different character. We will see. But I like writing him. Its new and different like my draxis character on the free boards... the conflict rp died but he was fun as he'll to write. But this will be just as fun I think
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by wonderlandalli
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wonderlandalli

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LeoricAquila said
I like sawyer as well and I am a fan of constructive criticism. Ill make a point to edit the post in question and future posts. I used to aspire to being a writer... then life, wife and child snapped me into reality and said that I needed to do something more reliable. Im sure once time rolls over to the next day, jack will be a mostly different character. We will see. But I like writing him. Its new and different like my draxis character on the free boards... the conflict rp died but he was fun as he'll to write. But this will be just as fun I think


Like I said, the content is amusing, it was just hard to follow with the structure of one big paragraph. :) Nothing wrong with the content at all.

Edit: I saw you posted while I was writing, that one was structured MUCH better! :) I had to run back and edit a response to Sawyer in from Eulalie!
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LeoricAquila
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LeoricAquila AKA Draxis

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I saw and figured I might mess someone up in the process since I seem to post fairly frequently. Its something I should work on I think
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by wonderlandalli
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I'm a frequent poster too. Look out we might take up a whole page if we start dialogues lol
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Azena
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Azena Drunken Storyteller

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lol just keep it under control, you two :p
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LeoricAquila
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LeoricAquila AKA Draxis

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wonderlandalli said
I'm a frequent poster too. Look out we might take up a whole page if we start dialogues lol

I see great things in our future wonder, I'm curious as to what may transpire between all the different characters. to see what sorts of bonds form between each other. It'll be fun

Azena said
lol just keep it under control, you two :p


No promises there Azena
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Jollywolfe
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I on the other hand have nothing worth posting in the IC right now, and that makes me sad. Nonetheless I am definitely enjoying this.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LeoricAquila
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LeoricAquila AKA Draxis

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why not work on something, we all get our stuff together and then start to head on the adventure. this feel sort of like a stage when we get prepared and do a sort of inner monologue . get some character story going, develop some of who you want them to be. that sort of thing
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by wonderlandalli
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It occurred to me that Eulalie would be Catholic and could read and understand Latin even if she didn't converse in it, so going to edit to add this. I myself am a filthy heathen so obviously I wasn't thinking of this until all the fish sandwich commercials showed up for Lent.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by wonderlandalli
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Roughly how Eulalie would use her dueling pistols.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Jollywolfe
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wonderlandalli said
It occurred to me that Eulalie would be Catholic and could read and understand Latin even if she didn't converse in it, so going to edit to add this.


That was actually my reason for Fleur speaking some basic Latin, so it sounds good to me.
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