Alright boys and girls, here we go. First things first, Peik is unexpectedly occupied this evening so his reviews will follow later. We did agree on the lineup for the first mission, however, so fear not; this is indeed the moment of truth. Jbcool dropped out for the time being and will re-apply with a different character later.
I would also quickly like to note that many of the concerns I raised in my reviews actually apply to Hector Sibassius himself, namely that he's pretty bland -- that's because he's 50% character and 50% an in-story GM authority vehicle, so he's excused.
Seriously though, let's roll.
1. Megana Corvus,
@GreenieThere is honestly nothing wrong with Meg as a character. Her history and her personality make sense (though "my parents are dead and now I want to see the world" is a very common story; on the flipside I like her interactions with the Khajiit caravans), the sheet is descriptive enough and the use of English is perfectly legible. The equipment is sensibly modest and the sentimental value is a nice touch and her reasons for becoming an adventurer are very believable -- we see the same thing from many
Skyrim characters, like Erik the Slayer. Her only problem is that she doesn't stand out among the stiff competition of this round of applications. There is no particular quirk or oddity about her that makes her truly interesting. That said, I would like to see Megana join the party at a later point after you've addressed these points. Make her
pop. Right now, when forced to choose between so many great characters, she falls just a little short.
2. Tóra Gunnarsdotter,
@ApploTora and Megana are pretty similar characters and sheets in the sense that there isn't anything wrong or illogical about Tora either and she would be a fine fit for the party... if it weren't for the competition. She is also in the unfortunate position of being one of three characters with archery as one of their Major skills, and similarly one of the many characters that are or were hunters at some point. Tora's sheet also feels, despite the reasonably lengthy history, a little bare in the most of the sections, especially the personality. Strong-but-silent type with only schadenfreude and resenting family-talk as noteworthy points doesn't feel like a real, fleshed-out person. I would like to see Tora expanded on some more, like Meg, before accepting her in the future.
3. Sjara "Elf-Daughter",
@InkarnateThe execution of this sheet is great -- it's pretty to look at, descriptive enough to get the point across and well-written. Out of the various hunter-archetype characters that were submitted this is definitely the best one. I like her history, the realistic amount of racism that she faced and the effect it's had on her personality, which you described very well. She feels real and whole and, like you said, ready to take on the world. Our only concern is that she could fall into the trap of merely "being there", or as Peik put it to me, "adept archery training NPC-levels of presence". Make sure you find ways for Sjara to express herself and be involved in the group dynamics. Other than that, well done!
4. Daro'Vasora,
@DervishThis is definitely the sheet that impressed me the most, and I think everyone here will understand that. The attention to detail is immaculate. You once expressed to me that you admired my descriptiveness when I was pitching sheets for another RP to you, Dervish, but you've outdone yourself with this one for sure. The history is extensive and sensible while also being adventurous and interesting. Your knowledge of the Elder Scrolls world beyond Skyrim shines through in Vasora's youth in Cyrodiil, and of course you used the correct Khajiiti prefix for her name. The amount of habits and quirks you've described in her personality and miscellaneous sections is fantastic and makes her seem very very real, and you carved out a great niche for her in the group with her utilitarian skillset. All in all this sheet makes me wish I spent much more time developing Hector's, even though I know him very well inside my own head.
5. Lord Vensor IV,
@HekazuThere are a lot of things I really like about this character. The way you've enthousiastically interwoven his history with the recent geopolitical events in Skyrim so tightly is cool, even if it was to our own detriment initially because you had to rewrite a chunk of his past after I finally elaborated on the barebones information I provided at first.
But the strongest virtue of Lord Vensor is his flawed nature. "Disgraced aristocrat" is a common trope but I think it's a good one, and I know Peik is a big fan of characters that are past their prime and bitter about it. He also slots into the party well as a second authority figure when Sibassius is incapable to lead, but more interesting is the potential for the butting of heads between the two and other members of the party -- not because Vensor is needlessly a dick, but because of who he believes he is and what his status should be. It's believable (even moreso because he's secretly a coward) and I see a lot of potential for natural conflict there, which his good. My biggest gripe is that his appearance is described a little weird and I have a difficult time actually picturing what he looks like.
6. Raelynn Hawkford,
@StormflyxNo adventuring party is complete without a healer, eh? That's one of several reasons to accept Raelynn, but more important are reasons similar to what I wrote about Vensor; she's believably flawed. Her pampered upbringing and snooty nature lend themselves perfectly for suffering in the
tragic conditions the party will undoubtedly find themselves in underground and I like how she's superficially sweet but secretly shrewd and a tad greedy. It's a refreshing change of pace from healers that do so out of a poorly-motivated sense of altruism and benevolence. Her temper is also a nice counterpoint to Hector's patience. All in all, I think she'll make a great addition to the party and I look forward to reading about her antics with the group.
7. Judena Callisar,
@DearTricksterYou win huge points for sheer creativity and originality here. The idea of an Argonian mage with such a significant weakness as short-term memory loss tickles my funny-bone in all the right places and we're big fans of the concept and quirkiness of the character. That said, you admitted to me that the sheet would be a lot more polished if you had more time and I believe it's better to give you that time now. There are still awkward turns of phrase and other grammatical errors in the sheet and some things about her history don't logically line up with the rest of the character without some further explanation. Why Mysticism, for example? How did she end up learning that school of magic and why did she choose it over something more practical, like Destruction? Peik and I also had our doubts about the hidden stashes you mention in her sheet. It seems unlikely for a lone treasure hunter to find enough valuables to have not just one, but several hidden stashes of items. On top of that, why didn't she sell her discoveries? Peik is better at explaining these concerns so I'll leave it to him to elaborate further. We definitely want Judena in the RP, make no mistake, but when the last character slot became a choice between Sjara and Judena, I felt obligated to go with the character I can accept right out of the gate over the more unique and interesting one that still needs some work. Please don't be discouraged -- we'll work with you to iron everything out and then I'm sure Judena will be a fantastic, hilarious and endearing addition to the crew.
7. Kalthar Tarrowhand,
@Altered TundraI appreciate the amount of effort that went into this character sheet. You were quite descriptive, covered all the important events of Kalthar's life (which is a little excessive in its grimness and tragedy, perhaps), chose a sensible skillset, remained modest with the equipment and many of the elements that make Lord Vensor an interesting character are also a part of Kalthar's personality and history... but it still felt off. Your writing style comes across as a little disjointed. The personality section (for example) restates some facts about his character at least twice, like how he's blunt and speaks his mind, and it isn't apparent
why he's a bit of a cunt precisely. His father is described as both honorable and a child-beating asshole in the same sheet and I'm not sure if Kalthar looked up to his father or despised him. The latter seems to be the case with Kalthar leaving him to die and fleeing, which I thought was a great twist, but it doesn't have a believable impact on his character as outlined in the sheet. You describe his motivations as 'vague', which I agree with, but that's not a good thing. As a player and a GM I should be able to divine what is that Kalthar wants out of life, but I don't feel like it's apparent now. When it came down to Vensor and Tarrowhand in the category "prickly guy with heavy armor" we leaned towards the former. He has many of the same characteristics as Kalthar but the execution and the motivation for the flaws are just a bit better. If you straighten these issues out and create a bigger correlation between his history and his personality, Kalthar has the potential to be a very interesting and polarizing character.
PS. Why would General Tullius recognize a lowly soldier?
8. Darius Arenar
@Not FishingThe idea of a bard tagging along with the company to record their adventures and heroics for posterity is a good one, and I like Darius' history and his motivation for signing up on the trip. There is one big, gaping hole of a problem, however, and that is the empty personality section. I understand it can be hard to pin down a character without having played them and they might turn out to be quite different over the course of the story, but the personality section is a large part of my ability to judge the character's internal consistency and ability to mesh with (or appropriately conflict with) the group, and simply to judge how fun they are to play with. Right now, accepting Darius would be like a coin toss. I have no idea what to expect. I could have said something about this earlier and given you a chance to add a personality before this moment but I feel strongly about providing
complete character sheets and I have my doubts about a roleplayer who does not (yet) understand that. Peik said it more harshly; it feels like a cop-out. But I see the potential here and I am definitely willing to take another look at Darius later if the sheet is entirely filled out.
PS. The word 'Marne' wasn't included anywhere, which was one of the rules.
9. Roland Corvo
@Oak7reeI have very little to say about Roland, because you know I already like the character and his history with Hector. This mostly just came down to us running out of slots. When compared to other character sheets this time around, Roland's personality section is very short and not very informative. It gives a glimpse at the man, a hint at what he's like in large, silhouette strokes, but lacks detail. The criticism that I offered some of the others, namely that they didn't stand out enough, is even moreso true of Roland. The history, on the other hand, is just as detailed as I'd reasonably expect of anyone, and the other sections are just fine as-is. If you're interested in joining later when more slots open (which I would like), try to expand on Roland some more. Read some of the other sheets here for inspiration.
So with that in mind, the accepted characters are
Lord Vensor IV, Raelynn Hawkford, Sjara "Elf-Daughter" and
Daro'Vasora. Congratulations guys!
Please post these sheets without hider in the Characters tab.
As for everyone else, fret not. All of the characters are good enough to be welcome in the RP later on, provided you assuage my concerns with the necessary edits and additions. It was a difficult task to choose the current roster and Peik and I went back-and-forth on several decisions. Close calls all round. You will all take priority over anyone else wishing to join, and considering there's so many of you now I will be closing applications for this RP for the foreseeable future.
