Ash Glenwood was having a terrible day. First his boss got on his ass for failing to deliver that TPS report, and now an unending horde of demons was erupting from the ground and slaughtering everyone in their path. Well, he certainly wasn't going to take that sitting down. He took the shotgun he'd been keeping under his desk for just such an occasion and mounted a thrilling evacuation of his office building. Horned demons, crimson mannequins, scythe-wielding sickos; all of them fell like shingles under a hail of righteous buckshot.

When Mister Glenwood had fought his way to the ground floor, trailing a grateful army of coworkers behind him, he pushed through the lobby with tremendous determination. He would survive this! Which made it quite surprising when, the moment he made it out to the street, he was flattened by a runaway Spanish warship.

"Take a look at this, Cap'n," Navigator Juarez pushed a pilfered atlas into Alonzo's hands. "We're about a half-mile out from the city square. Lookout says there's a sort of civilian militia up ahead. Folks in armor, folks with odd clothing... folks with crosses."

Alonzo's fingers turned white as he tightened his grip on the wheel. "Demon Hunters," he snarled. "Have the men prepare firebombs. When we pass, drop everything we've got on the bastards." Alonzo cupped his hands and called to his men on the riggings. "Furl the sails, men! I want these bastards to get a good look at the man sending them back to their maker!"

As the Revengeance found its way to the street Juarez had talked about, Alonzo found a chance to observe who these Demon Hunters were. Two priestly fellows were in a sort of large, rectangular carriage, talking to some civilians. Two men were on a roof nearby, talking about something. One man, dressed in plated armor, was running down the middle of the street. Aside from that, the streets were packed with civilians and corpses. The crew had their targets, and just in time; Edwards had been busy filling rum bottles with gasoline and passing them to any free hand.

As the Revengeance entered onto the street, any crewman with a firebomb made his move. From a pedestrian's perspective, it must have been an awesome sight-- a full-fledged ship of the line tearing a massive gash through solid asphalt, flaming bottles spilling from its flanks like confetti at a parade.

The bus was showered in molotov cocktails, covering everything immediately outside of it in burning fuel and shards. Two well-aimed bottles crashed through the bus's ruined windows, setting the seats ablaze and filling the aisles with glittering glass.
@gentlemanvaultboy
@David Gorgon

The armored man in the street met a terrible shower of debris as the Revengeance passed by him, narrowly avoiding him by mere yards. Thrown molotov cocktails and scattered pavement clattered against his armor as the crew rained fire down on him. As quickly as it came, the Revengeance tore a path along the street away from him.
@GarlandDaHero

"Ya think that did anything to 'em, cap'n?" First Mate Edwards asked, wiping gasoline off his hands with a damp rag.

"No. But if these young ones are as easily enflamed as their ancestors, they'll come for us regardless. You have my commendations, Mister Edwards." Alonzo laughed quietly at the thoughts his enemies must be having by now, and oriented the ship straight towards the city square. Whatever happened now, he would gladly meet it head-on.

Izzy squinted, dumbfounded, at this hulking brute of a man trying to make weird halfassed cold puns at her. Why did people always do puns at her? Was it some kind of weirdo in-joke she wasn't in on?

Izzy

No, seriously though, this was every time. Was it a cultist thing? He looked kinda like a cultist. All that black, you know, and the sky wizard crap. Why'd she always attract freaks, anyway? Why couldn't she ever work with a cool demon hunter, like Van Helsing?

Izzy

Oh man, but then she'd have to fight Dracula or something. That guy was, like, Transylvanian top dog. How the hell do you even beat Dracula? He's like-

IZZY

"Wha?"

The pilot is talking to you

"Huh?"

She looked over to see the now-recovered pilot.

"Oh, right, yeah. Gnarly stuff duderino. Hope your wife's okay 'n junk."

Just go get that case

"...What case?"

Wendigo gave whatever the telepathic equivalent of a sigh was

Look, just... Just go. I'll tell you where.

"Aight rad."

Izzy performed a pretzel, flipping her board so she was facing towards the pilot and Zacharias.

"Hey, like, it's been real cool and all bruh, but I, uh, left my fridge running or somethin'. Peace."

With that, Izzy did double finger guns and rapidly slid backwards on a carpet of snow, in a direction vaguely resembling northwards. She ducked just in time for a stray bottle to whiz over her head, barely missing her and setting fire to a number of hot dog stands, newspaper dispensers, and fallen billboards. Shortly thereafter followed an intensely badical sailing vessel of ghostacular proportions.

"So should we, like-"

If we ignore them they'll probably go away

Izzy shrugged.

"You're the boss, broseph."

"...Rude," muttered Zacharias as the girl made an awkward exit after refusing a handshake. He retracted his hand, and instead brushed his hair backward in an attempt to play it off.

"Far be it from me to question the divine creator, but he maybe shouldn't have rested on the Sabbath day," he said to himself, swiping at the blood on his cossack, "that kid could've used a little more work."

He looked around and, to his surprise, spotted a man he knew very close by. What divine serendipity! Special Attorney Cane did a lot of great work for the Catholic church. He grinned, and waved at the man.

"Special Attorney Cane," he called out, approaching the two men, "what are you doing in-"

My, but that was a large man.

"...Is this a mugging? Are you being mugged?"

@Pleek@Shisa

Stepping back to give the man some room, Udrace hmphed as he spun around and scattered a flock of small bat-like demons that had noticed them on the rooftop. Tracking their flight for a moment, he marked them as satisfactorily dispersed before he turned back to face Cane.

Taking the card from the man, Udrac held it up as he squinted at the fine print before he turned it around to look at the signature on its back. “Legal representation,” he muttered, as if testing the phrase out for the first time, before he carefully folded the card in half and tucked it away for safekeeping.

Stroking his beard as much of what Saxton said flew over his head, he decided that the man must ultimately be fine if he was this wordy. Peering over the edge, Udrac walked around the edge of the rooftop before pausing for a moment. Rubbing at his beard, he cocked his head, squinted, and then nodded. While he would have preferred to keep raining punishment on the Hellspawn from the lofty vantage point, he had a responsibility to the one he had saved as well.

“Call me Udrac,” he declared first off as he gestured to westward, “and descending from rooftops shall be the quickest method downward. Simply point me towards this Lukewarm Avenue, and I will see you arrive safely.” Glancing Saxton up and down for a moment, he then added, "S'long as you do not mind being carr-"

The ship sailing through the midst of the city proved to be more important than the latest arrival that joined the pair on the rooftop though. Watching as it seemingly indiscriminately hurled firebombs and added to the chaos of the demonic invasion in progress, Udrac frowned as he cracked his knuckles. "It seems there are, ah, bigger fish to catch?" He sounded a bit unsure of the idiom as he looked between the two men. "He worries about you though, so I leave you in his care." Nodding once more, he crouched and then leapt from the rooftop.

Special Attorney Saxton Cane just kept a steady position on the roof watching Udrac agree to offer his services; well that was until something distracted him. It was probably the sheer force of presence that Cane had about him. As Udrac hopped down to chase after that ghastly remnant from a time Spain ruled the seas, Saxton Cane pushed his glasses upwards. Placing his freehand on his temple Saxton began to chuckle.

"Jumping down from rooftop to rooftop... Like my health insurance company would cover that if I took any damages from it." He turned his head and nodded in acknowledgement to Zacharias, but before he began any felicitations Cane paused in his tracks for as he noticed in the distance there was a snowbank still happened to be present. Well that certainly is another method down thought the Special Attorney.

Casually he walked over towards Zacharias and gave a small wave. "Not this day Biblethumper; not this day." Cane stopped in the middle of his stroll as he gazed at the sight of the building rooftops and the snow-banks as he thought of which way down would be the safest. After all he was sure his client would be patient, plus again this was going to be charged as part of the travel expenses.

Snapping his fingers Saxton glanced at Zacharias, "I have it on good authority the reason why you are here; walk and talk with me about the legal troubles the church found itself in this time. Oh and also keep any of those pesky critters away from me, I have another client I need to catch up with fairly soon at Lukewarm Avenue."

Special Attorney Saxton Cane shrugged, "Or I suppose you can chase after whatever it was that Tarzan wanted to catch. Either way I am a busy professional and I really must be going. Whichever decision you pick is up to you and not of any other plan."

With that Saxton Cane found the best option off of this building was the roof access point. So he walked towards that door, opened it and began to walk down the flight of stairs that were accessible from it. Sure it might take longer than sliding down the snowbank or jumping from rooftop to rooftop, but it would certainly get him down to the streets in a safe manner that he wouldn't have to awkwardly explain to insurance agents.

Zacharias watched wordlessly as the likely non-mugger leapt away. Evil ghost ships were certainly a concern, but that man looked capable and Special Attorney Cane still needed an escort. Zacharias sped down the stairs after him, ready to take care of any unpleasantness to come about.

"Well," Zacharias grunted, resting the hefty blunt of the chainsaw over his shoulder as he fled down the stairs, "first off, great thanks for your work on the Rodriguez case. That was brilliant. By the grace of God, you saved our reputation and netted us some extra for defamation."

Zacharias kicked open the door at the bottom of the stairwell, killed the demon waiting on the other side, and began looking around for more trouble as they walked.

"See, one of ours allegedly went insane. Again," said the man, casually murdering a few more demons. This word, allegedly, was one that Special Attorney Cane had told him to use himself, "and so, allegedly she now thinks humans and demons alike are creatures of sin and wants to cleanse the Earth in holy fire. Doubtless there will be much murder of the innocents before she is either caught or killed. Allegedly. And she's still technically a member of the church. Allegedly. Anyways, someone is gonna end up on trial and it's going to make all of us look bad."

Special Attorney Saxton Cane Esquire smirked as his civil law legal maneuvering was complimented. "Yes my elegance in the court-room is unparalleled." spoke Saxton Cane as he entered the room behind the sound of rending and tearing done by Zacharias. Adjusting his glasses the attorney began to tiptoe around the massive pool of blood; obviously these shoes couldn't be stained. Cane idly looked at his sleeves to make sure they weren't getting too wrinkled as he continued to follow the preacher-man who was serving as a fine bodyguard through this treacherous building.

His eyes sparkled as Zacharias began to bring up what the attorney thought of in the back of his mind; he was going to get another very nice payday.

Adjusting his tie Saxton Cane began to speak, "Hypothetically" mused Saxton, "If this woman was still allegedly considered part of your group; yes I definitely see this going to court on your end. Now, in my opinion as of course I do not have all of the facts of this hypothetical, I can still safely say any of these alleged acts of genocide would be tried on the world stage. Of course this is merely speculation on my part as I am not aware of what the hypothetical scope this woman is capable of performing on."

Moving his lips from side to side Saxton Cane paused for a moment before going on. "Now then assuming I do not have to represent this woman, it will be a much easier burden to me. Your church should not be charged with the bulk of these hypothetical charges. However that is not to say that your organization will avoid trial. Let us say this woman is charged first, she might make allegations about your group being the source of her madness, or perhaps acting under orders like say how the Nazi Officers did, and that's where the real culpability will come into play. I will most likely have to prove that your organizations did not violate say, International Human Right Laws, which might be brought up. I have not even begun to go into the class action law suit that would surely be taken to a Civil Court going after your organization for potentially influencing and being at fault for creating this woman's, let's go with 'ideals'."

"Of course it is much to early for me to provide much conjecture about this situation" spoke Saxton Cane as he adjusted his tie once again, "As we are dealing with hypotheticals right now and I am simply offering opinion and perspective at what I think might be the most probable circumstances for it. But needless to say, yes, there will most certainly be many trials following these potential events. You will need to provide me with more details as they arise so that I may give a more proper opinion on the matter and prepare future arguing points for when we do go to trial."

Tyr barely flinched as homemade explosives and city pavement pelted his heavy armor, causing the iron giant to look at his attackers.

Of all the things to see driving through the streets, the last thing he expected was a galleon.

He assumed that, because he was being attacked, the captain of the vessel was not a fellow Demon Hunter, but an actual demon instead. After picking up the pace of his running, Tyr steered himself towards the ship and held his hammer high. Once he deemed himself to be going at a fast enough speed, he slammed the ground with the Hammer of Justice and was sent soaring towards the ship, eventually landing on the deck.

Once there, Tyr looked around the ship to get an idea of what kind of crew he was dealing with.

Pirates. Honest to God pirates, of the golden age variety.

"Put your hands in the air, ruffians!" Tyr bellowed, gripping his hammer with both hands. "Take me to your captain, and all will be spared. Unless you think you can fight the law itself and win."

@Scrapula